Guilty Passion
by princesshyuuga01
Summary: It is common knowledge that whatever happens in Suna does NOT very often remain in Suna. In fact, what happened in Suna left Sakura pregnant with the child of a man to whom she could pin no name. Will they succumb to the pressures of family tradition and broken friendships or can they really turn one night of passion into a lifetime of love for the sake of their child? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter One**

**Note: This is merely a Prologue. The chapters are longer hereinafter.**

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><p>Haruno Sakura stood back, holding herself motionless, quite still. She stared, unblinking at the reflection staring back at her in the long mirror of her bathroom. The woman in the mirror looked out at her with the same stricken expression upon her ashen face.<p>

Her silk nightgown that had once fitted loosely now clung uncomfortably to her middle. Her bloodshot eyes narrowed at the disheveled mess of pink hair which flowed a little past her shoulders. Her skin had broken out into a cold sweat and taken on a horrendous clamminess.

A cry came from somewhere very deep within her. Very deep. Like a buried place. A grave.

The grave of the person she once had been.

Would never be again.

She had barely made it to the bathroom before her stomach heaved and ejected its contents.

Heaviness lay like deadweight in her stomach, wound around by revulsion at what she could see in the mirror. She gargled with mouthwash, praying it wouldn't send her back to the toilet to throw up again.

She leaned against the sink, her hands braced on the countertop. Having seen enough of the ghost that stared back at her, she shook her head and wiped at her mouth with a towel.

This was getting out of control.

A sick headache pressed around her temples, and her stomach churned in reminder of the reason for her lack of sleep at nights. She tried desperately to cling to the numbness surrounding her heart, hoping it would be enough to see her through the next four months.

But that numbness had been blasted away as if by nuclear detonation, in one hideous, appalling moment. One moment of ghastly realization. The swell of her abdomen was becoming very evident.

Her hands went to her belly. She looked down, tears blurring her eyes before she could stop them, misery swamping her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Two**

**Note: Italics Represent flashbacks**

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><p>If we are uncertain of nothing else in life, then let us be certain of the inevitable—fucking up.<p>

And since nobody was perfect, at some point in the human life, it is bound to happen. But our shortcomings as a species should not be held accountable for the drastic and sometimes inexplicable changes that may occur during the course of our lives. Karma—some may blame, coincidence is sometimes framed, and yet, no one ever suspects the true culprit—fate.

But should fate be held liable to answer for the misfortune that had befallen Haruno Sakura? Could it? When it had been temptation that led to her ultimate undoing? There was a line between the two—a line so wide you couldn't travel the distance across it. Fate had always been that irresistible power that's thought to make things happen. And Temptation an energy that enticed both the emotionally sound and emotionally unkempt to do things they normally wouldn't.

This time however, the line between the two had been distorted, making them overlap and take on a whole other meaning to the phrase "_**to tempt fate."**_

To seal her fate—which irrevocably had required some amount of fucking up on Sakura's part—temptation had to lend the extra push. It was a rather forceful and overdramatic push. One that was initially down the wrong path but somehow ended up being a shove in the right direction.

No one viewed things from that perspective however.

Sakura herself had felt as though something infinitely precious and delicate had been ripped from her which could never be restored. It was innocence and optimism. And it had been replaced with the sick, nauseating fear that her life as she knew it, was over. For she hadn't given a second thought as to the many consequences that came along will willfully giving into temptation.

It was a force that worked like a double-edged blade without a hilt. The proficiency with which one wielded it would indicate the extent to which one could be bruised by it.

The possibility that a child could have been conceived never crossed her mind. It still stunned her, the immediate all-consuming love and protection she'd felt for the little being as soon as she'd found out, despite the circumstances of its conception. There had been a deeper emotion attached to that too, but Sakura didn't want to hold it up for analysis.

She had been lost in a spur of the moment, caught up in the passion, too dizzy from the intensity of the young chemistry that started building between them the moment their gaze met—emerald on pearl.

Of course she didn't believe in love at first sight, but whatever it was, that had sparked between the two could easily be mistaken for the said cliché. Perhaps her seventh tequila shot had finally taken its toll, but she felt that he had been her destiny.

What a cold and lonely destiny he turned out to be, leaving her in near poverty, pregnant with his child. And while she did blame her accomplice for the role he played in ruining her life, she had to admit that her own behaviour had been the catalyst of all the extra co-curricular activity that went on that night.

He had been a gentle man—a Good Samaritan even—when he offered to take her to room after she initiated a bar brawl and Sakura had been…a drunk with raging hormones. A drunk who was not looking to entertain a gentle man for the night.

Control was something she lost almost as easily as her temper and that night in Suna where she and her friends were celebrating Temari's twenty-third birthday; she had lost all sense of control.

One shot led to another, then another and then she was waking up stark naked in her room at the inn, curled up beside a complete stranger. A stranger whom she often found herself fantasizing about—much to her own repulsion. A stranger who was totally unaware that the blessed night they spent in each others' arms had led to a curse.

The curse of an unwanted—bastard child, whose face she'd have to spend the rest of her life looking at and feeling guilty for having brought it into the world. The curse of a child whose very existence would haunt her own, especially if it were to bore the same magnetic, silver eyes of her mysterious lover.

Those eyes that had raked over her, mercilessly setting off tiny field mines beneath her flushed skin.

Would he or she inherit the flawless, silky texture of his skin? She remembered the way the ripple of his muscles quivered beneath her touch, pulsing on the surface of his pale flesh. He had felt so good, so sensually warm and exciting that she lost her herself against him and knew he felt the same way, had felt the throbbing hardness of his thighs, his ragged breathing as her fingertips trailed his body.

Neither one of them had had the strength to stop the explosion of emotions between them. And it had been evident in their surrender to the passion, as guilty as it was—in the way their hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, straining for a much closer contact.

Then she thought of his lips and how they ravaged her mouth, while he bent her curves to mould against his hard muscles body, rendered her breathless. There had been no thought of denial as her mouth opened the probing intimacy of his. It had been so intimate, so thorough that each touch of his lips left her more drugged than the last. She remembered how his long chestnut tresses felt like a mass of satin sipping through her finger and imagined a daughter with hair like his. Dark and sleek.

It was a superficial thought but at least she could count on the genes of her child's father's to grant it good looks. The thought she struggled to accept however, was that if she could turn back the hands of time, to four months ago, she wouldn't have changed a thing.

Except for the use of a contraceptive.

Maybe...

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><p><em>He was the most handsome man she had ever set eyes on. There was something very regal about him, emphasized by every pleasing feature he possessed—from the crown of his head to the sole of his feet. But it was his eyes that grabbed her attention. They were like transparent jewels that saw through everyone else but allowed nothing of its owner to be revealed.<em>

_His sculptured lips were hard and unyielding, his chin square and determined, and his hair flowing like silk down shirt. His shoulders were wide and muscled, his body lithe and powerful._

"_You're cute, do you know that?" she hiccupped as she fumbled with the keys to the room she had rented. It was a story about the bar, so the loud music was hardly muted._

_That sculptured mouth tightened slightly._

_The way he looked at her just then—those light eyes had dissected every creamy curve of her face before lingering slightly suggestively on the warm swell of her breasts above the strapless white top she wore—had only succeeded in deepening her awareness of him._

_In fact, she could still feel the slight flush to her cheeks, and her breathing was uneven. Caused not by embarrassment or awkwardness in his company, but by the sharp, stinging sexual awareness which hardened her nipples and encouraged a moist heat between her thighs._

_Scoffing he took the keys from her trembling hands, "And you're drunk, do you know that?" he retorted, opening her door and stepping aside to allow her to go inside._

_She stumbled into the dark room, switching on the lights. Then she turned around and giggled, "Come on in for a night cap," she offered with wide eyed innocence._

_Silver eyes stared bleakly. His expression was agonized as he looked at her, seemingly undecided whether or not he should enter the room or leave her to her own bidding._

"_I've stolen some vodka from downstairs," Sakura winked at him, pulling an untouched bottle of liquor from her rather large handbag. She tossed the accessory aside and fought to open the bottle. "Would you mind opening this for me?" her words slurred as she staggered towards him, mistaking the annoyance that etched across his face for a fierce desire that was reaching hungrily out to her. "I promise I'll be nice to you if you do," she purred, lowering long dark lashes over her green eyes._

_For a second he seemed to shudder under the lewd innuendo of her words. "Are you serious woman?" his entry was reluctant but when he stepped inside the first thing he did was snatch the glass bottle from her hands. "Don't you know your limits?"_

"_Hey!" she pouted. "I was going to drink that!"_

"_Well that's too bad," he drawled tightly._

_She growled low in her throat and shot him a scathing look. "Are you forgetting that I can simply go downstairs and get another bottle?" And she would have been on her way, hadn't he used his body to block the door way. She stomped her feet and folded her arms._

"_You're not going anywhere but to bed," he told her sternly, much like he was dealing with a child._

"_Pretty please?" she batted her eyelashes at him. It was to no avail, he shook his head and steered her back into the room. She jolted at the feel of his hands on her bare shoulder. "I thought hot guys were supposed to be fun. You're no fun!"_

"_Tomorrow you'll be thanking me," he told her simply, knowing by the way her breasts had tautened and hardened against the soft material of her blouse, their quick rise and fall as she breathed, that the alcohol had made her aware of him in a way he didn't care to entertain. "I'll make you some tea. It'll help to ease the intensity of the hangover."_

_The man unnerved her. His good looks unnerved her. The way he stared at her so intently with those glittering pearly eyes unnerved her. "That's not necessary, I've got a far more effective way of preventing hangovers," she grinned, throwing herself down in a small chair—nursing the tingling sensation his touch had left._

_He fixed her a rather searching look, "What's that?"_

"_Staying drunk..." she giggled at the way his eyes seemed to darken._

"_For a second I thought you were being serious," he admitted with a solemn shake of his head. He then proceeded to rummage through the tiny opened kitchen for something to make a strong cup of tea for her. He was stopped halfway into his conquest. "Damn it woman, put that down!" he exclaimed._

_Sakura swallowed hard, her throat moving convulsively, a nerve pulsing at its base. A movement closely watched by the man before he raised hooded lids to once again hold her gaze disconcertingly._

_She smirked, removing the bottle from her lips, licking away the sweetened dew. "I can do whatever I want," she took another long drink, for some reason she liked getting him riled up. "You're not the boss of me."_

_He strode towards her on long, powerful legs. Her heart thumped so hard that she feared it might burst from her chest. "I thought I made it clear that you're not to have anymore alcohol?" He asked dryly, and his hard mouth curved derisively as he continued to look at her intently. "Give that to me."_

_Sakura complied blindly, not too sure why she found his bullying arousing and sexy. She nervously moistened suddenly dry lips with the tip of her tongue, her breath catching and holding in her throat as she found it impossible to keep images of his mouth covering hers from her mind. They caused colour to flare hotly in her cheeks._

"_You did," she said, rising to her feet. It did little to help her fraying composure. "But I don't have to listen to you. I'm not a child!"_

_She was making the fact be known—in case he hadn't realized—for a much darker reason than she cared to admit._

"_Then stop acting like one."_

_Sakura looked away from his accusing gaze, shaking slightly, "I like your eyes," she confided softly. "They light up when you're upset."_

"_Hn," was all he said but it came off as him being cocky._

"_Oh lord," she laughed, giving a shake of her head, her pink hair moving silkily across the narrowness of her shoulders and the fullness of her breasts. "Isn't it bad enough that you're all that, without boasting?"_

_A small smirk found its way upon his lips, "Who's boasting?"_

"_Guys like you always have such huge egos," she stumbled forward, almost knocking him off balance. "But—" she poked his chest playfully, swiping her fingers teasingly over the expanse of it. "—You need to understand that I have a monstrous ego that needs to be pampered."_

_He chuckled, "Is that the alcohol speaking or is that really you?"_

_As if they had a mind of their own her hands reached up and touched his face. His skin was warm beneath her palms, spreading its warmth throughout her body. Curious pale eyes locked with verdant ones. "What are you doing?"_

"_Good question," she said, unable to determine whether or not it had been her who had spoken. She stared unblinkingly at him, locking every perfect feature of his face to memory. She felt drawn to him—intoxicated by him._

"_Well?" he asked impatiently, in a voice that was equally as attractive as his visage._

_But Sakura hands didn't retract; in fact they tightened their hold on his face. A pulse leapt somewhere and she scarcely heard the man's breath catching in his throat. On tiptoes Sakura captured his mouth in a kiss that was hot, hungry and sensually demanding, allowing him no opportunity to deny his own response._

_Her tongue slid intimately into his mouth, stirring her own body into throbbing awareness and Sakura didn't know what she intended anymore—only knew that she didn't want this to stop. She entwined her hands in the dark silkiness of his hair and held him to her, her tongue forcing a duel with his as she pressed her body into him._

_Fire._

_He was pure, molten fire and she wanted to lose herself in his flames—to the inferno that raged inside her. And after the first impact, she realized that he was doing all the kissing._

_She went still in his arms, forgetting to breathe altogether as his lips moved purposefully, seductively, against hers. His tongue teased her parted lips, deepening the kiss it continued on its marauding path, tasting her, claiming her, seeking out every soft and delicate contour of her mouth, his tongue running erotically along the edge of her teeth even as his arms tightened around her and he curved her body more intimately against his own._

_There was nothing chaste about his kiss. The imprint of his body seemed to sear into hers, his tongue sweeping lightly across her sensitized lips—an enticement in itself._

_Sakura was on fire._

_Aflame._

_Pleasure rippled across and through her body as her fingers tightened around his face. His kiss was wondrous. Ecstasy. Beyond anything she had ever thought or imagined in her innocent musings of being kissed by a man._

_His hands began moving helplessly down the length of her body, restlessly as he touched and caressed her slender curves._

_She quivered in response. He tasted like lemonade and warmth, and passion, and she had never tried that combination before but it was delicious. Then suddenly he pulled away. His mouth thinned and he looked at her for several long, penetrating seconds as if he'd never actually seen her before._

"_That shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry." For a strong man he suddenly seemed terribly weak._

_The pinkette gave a strangled gasp, her hand going nervously to her throat as she became completely flustered. Her over brightened eyes widen as the reality of what she had done dawned on her. "Oh God."_

_What had happened? It had been like a minor explosion, their bodies fusing together in a tide of sensual abandon. This man, who she assumed was used to being in control at all times, had definitely been out of control for a few brief minutes and she had taken advantage of it for she'd wanted him with every fibre of her being._

"_I think you really need that cup of tea," was all he said, stepping cautiously away from her._

_A few minutes later he had placed a warm cup of tea in her unstable hands. Sakura refused to drink it, mentally scowling at him for looking so damn provocative and causing the eerie, unsatisfied ache in her body. "I don't want the stinking tea!" she hissed with an indignant glare, the ache not improving her temper._

"_I don't care if you don't want it," He gave a sharp inclination of his head. "But you're drinking every last bit of it before I leave."_

_How he got her to drink the tea was still a mystery to Sakura. She was sure she hadn't done it willingly._

"_It wasn't that bad, now was it?" he asked, plastering a cruel smirk on his now-confirmed, really soft lips. "I promise it won't kill you," he placed his hand on her shoulder, when he realized what he had done, his hand recoiled._

"_I don't fucking bite," Sakura gave a derisive snort._

_Dark brows quirked up over mocking lilac eyes. "Of course you don't," he said softly. "I've got to go; it was nice meeting you...um?"_

"_Sakura," she answered drily._

"_I think you ought to go get some rest now Sakura." She repressed the shiver of pleasure that she felt at hearing her name coming from his mouth. "I'll see you around," he turned and was almost out the door when she stopped him._

"_You forgot to take the vodka," she supplied lamely._

_He gave a humourless smirk. "I trust you'll stay clear from the temptation."_

_A thought curled her lips, a skeptical look on her porcelain. "You aren't afraid of me are you?"_

"_Why would you think that?" he sighed in exasperation._

_She curled a strand of hair around her finger. "Because you're in a hurry to leave."_

"_It's late Sakura and I need to get home," he prompted tersely._

_The sound of her name rolling off his tongue was really starting to have an impact on her senses._

_She pulled a face. "Can't you stay any longer?"_

"_Why?"_

"_I want you to."_

_It must have come out like the plea of a woman who had suffered from sexual starvation. He glared at her frustratedly for several long seconds before warning icily that, "You hardly know me."_

"_So...?" she asked frowning at him._

"_Sakura..." he growled._

"_Please..." she pouted, "At least until I fall asleep."_

_That night he didn't leave at all. And when Sakura did however fall asleep, he had already found himself in deep slumber._

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><p><strong>AN: I have a very unhealthy obsession with NejiSaku and this is just my twisted way of showing it. ****I didn't want to make the first chapter into a lemon, though that was how the story practically began. This was kind of like a flashback chapter. More flashback scenes will appear throughout the story and if you've got no problem with it I'll put the lemon in a flashback but for now I'll keep it clean.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Three**

**Note: Italics represents flashbacks...**

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><p>Heaving a sigh, Sakura studied herself in the mirror, striving to imagine how she would look with a bigger bosom, no waist and a large tummy. Being of a practical disposition, she scolded herself for agonizing over what could not be changed. She still looked gaunt. The freckles stood out harshly against her pale skin. Her face looked too long, the cheekbones too stark. Her mouth was pursed. Her eyes looked shadowed, haunted. And her hair hung like rats' tails over her shoulders, its normal rose-coloured vibrancy dulled.<p>

She brought a hand to her slightly protruding stomach, thinking that it was rather too large to be merely four months old. But she knew better, had nearly fainted when Tsunade told her the results from the medical checkup she had requested. Her whole body had stilled, she had heard the words, they registered on her consciousness, but somehow she hadn't been aware of them—of their import.

The woman had to have been lying, Sakura thought at the time. But then all too quickly a vivid memory had come back and she threw herself down in tears.

It had been too much to take in.

She shook her head, as if to negate the awful suspicion running through her, gathering force as it did so, she had argued faintly. "That's not possible."

And yet as her eyes remained glued on the woman who mentored her, in some sort of sick fascination, there had always been that fleeting moment when she'd suspected—

"You're pregnant Sakura," the blonde had spoken louder that time, as if to hammer it home, to leave her in no doubts as to the veracity of her claims.

Deep within her, Sakura had felt a disturbing stir of pleasure at the news. But put it down to being presented with a valid excuse to search for her mysterious lover. He was responsible for the life growing in her belly, and something deeply visceral was urging her to consider finding him and confronting him about it.

It had nothing to do with wanting to see him again, she told herself without conviction.

She had never done anything quite as rash and impulsive in her life, but the thought struck her that she had never wanted anything or anyone so badly before that it felt like a necessity. She thought there would have been protection in knowing what it was. That she could, for one night, and the hours that stretched ahead, allow the beautiful stranger to make her into someone else.

Not the girl who pinned after a boy who had been brutal in his rejection of her.

But as soon as the night was over, all the pain and hurt and grief returned and suddenly her unrequited love for the Uchiha was the least of her problems. She had a child to consider and a heavy heart weighing her down. Part of her argued that if she truly loved Sasuke, she wouldn't have given another man the one thing she vowed would have been his for the taking. She felt an odd sense of guilt, like she had betrayed him, though he made it clear that he wasn't remotely interested in a relationship with her.

Sasuke had evidently seen her susceptibility and quite deliberately steered clear of encouraging her. That awareness now made her feel about a foot high. She had honestly believed that she hadn't betrayed herself, had fondly imagined that she had managed to match his cool and casual manner. She had deliberately avoided every temptation to do otherwise, biting her tongue many, many times in his presence.

The raw hostility and dislike she had aroused in him had not been a welcome result. In fact, his reaction to her confession had terrified her, and in retrospect even that annoyed her and filled her with shame.

It was the reason she had been drinking that night. In fact she had hoped wearily to get drunk, or at least impose some kind of oblivion so that she would stop hurting as much. It wasn't so much the memory of what he had said, she thought. The searing, scarring image of his hatred-filled onyx eyes had sharpened his words until they speared her soul.

_They had both settled in the corner of the bar, away from the craze of Temari's other party guests. Sasuke had been in a particularly rotten mood and Sakura took caution not to anger him any further. Having grown together, she knew how homicidal the Uchiha got when pissed off. She didn't know what had put him in that mood, but knew better than to ask. He was a very private guy and she respected that._

_She was little more than surprised when he settled himself in the stool next to hers, greeting her with the usual touch of the eyes on her face. She found herself flushing under his scrutiny and took a heavy swallow from her half-empty glass. Her heart skipped a couple beats._

"_Nice party, isn't it?" she tried, knowing that he preferred when she dealt with him on an impersonal basis. _

_He didn't respond and rather than shrink inside, Sakura felt relieved—relieved that he hadn't gotten up and leave. She had been accustomed to being on the receiving end of such behaviour from him. Despite knowing each other for years, he resented any form of familiarity between them. It puzzled her almost as much as her feelings for him did._

_The bartender that came to serve them—evidently a college student—commented on how well they complimented each other as a couple. The pinkette choked on the burning liquid slipping down her throat and coughed._

_The remark left a silence between them that thickened and lay heavier by the second._

_Sakura's heart was beating so fast it felt as if it was sitting at the foot of her throat. "Do you think so?" she asked him tautly, the tequila shot she had earlier, loosening her tongue. But the question had always been one that she pondered. She was after all his closest female… associate?_

_The word 'friend' came to mind but that was too much of a strong word. The fact of the matter was that she had never seen Sasuke around any other girl._

"_What I think is that people ought to mind their own business," he countered with a ferocious bite._

_She angled her head back and forced herself to meet the onslaught of his chilling dark eyes. "I think so; I mean we've known each other for—"_

_Sasuke held up a fluid and silencing hand in a gesture that came so naturally to him that she instinctively closed her lips. _

_Setting aside his empty glass, he rose gracefully upright again. Sakura watched him nervously, the tip of her tongue stealing out to moisten the dry curve of her lip. His darkly handsome features were strained, his expressive mouth taut, his eyes shadowed._

"_Damn it Sakura," his voice had been harsh and his eyes glittered with cold contempt. "I'm not in the mood for this."_

_She had lifted a hand to massage her temples, and pleaded shakily, "You know how I feel about you."_

_An immediate, terrible change came over Sasuke—a change so profound that Sakura's words seemed to freeze and splinter in the air. Iron dread stabbed into her, and she knew that she had made a terrible mistake._

"_What is it?" Her voice petered out and she was suddenly filled with stomach-churning anxiety._

_His voice was hard with shock, "Why are you talking like this?"_

_She stared at him in horrible confusion, aware that her heart had started to thump with sickening jerkiness beneath her breast. "Because…because it's true," She stammered weakly, staring at his dreadful expression. "You know it is."_

"_What is wrong with you?" Sasuke demanded, his black brows twisted incredulously. His voice rose a little above the music and some people turned to look in their direction. "I wouldn't wish that kind of relationship with you on my worst enemy, Sakura." He told her with flat distaste. "So why would I want one for myself?"_

_His scathing comment hung in the air between them. _

_She felt as though, she had received a hammer-blow to her heart. "You don't have to be loud," she said in a broken whisper, tears already filling her eyes at the sound of snickering somewhere behind her. "And that wasn't what I was getting at."_

_If she lived until she was ninety she would not forget her crushing sense of humiliation when Sasuke had dragged her attraction to him out into the open and squashed her already battered pride._

"_I'm not interested in you like that, or at all," he said roughly. "If you can't handle that fact, then we shouldn't speak to each other."_

She pushed the memory aside, bitter about the options he had laid before her with a cruel air of understanding generosity. She had actually spent the first half of that night quite depressed. But depression did not sit well with Sakura. It was such a futile state of mind.

Finally, her zest for life and sheer commonsense snapped her out of it. She had drunk the bar dry and danced with just about every guy she could get her hands on. Looking at her baby bump, perhaps it hadn't been commonsense at work. But she had made her bed, and damn it all, she was going to get used to laying it in.

She still had five more months to figure things out, and she wasn't going to waste a single minute by crying over spilt milk or getting maudlin over a future that hadn't eventuated yet.

Swiftly schooling her face into a bland expression, she undressed in the bathroom, thrusting her discarded clothing into the laundry basket and stepped into the shower. She shampooed her hair vigorously and turned the water pressure to full as she rinsed the lather away, before beginning to apply her cherry blossom-scented body wash to her skin, smoothing away the remaining weariness and lingering aggravation of the day ahead, then letting the water stream over her.

Today would be the first time she left her apartment since she found out she was pregnant. Tsunade had been lenient with her, allowing her to take a lengthy leave, but she was already feeling the financial strain of four months without a salary.

Throughout the entire ordeal Ino had been a friend, helping with Sakura's groceries and even stopping by to give a hand with the chores. She was immensely grateful because there were days when she could hardly get out of bed.

At times she had to wonder whether she was carrying an actual child or a sac of something her body was relentless in trying to refuse. And she wondered how in the world Ino could stomach seeing her in the state that she was in when Sakura was afraid of her own reflection.

Ino made no judgments whatsoever. In fact she was more than happy to sit through Sakura's hormonal tantrums and pull her hair back while she regurgitated her dinner. Of course, all of this came with a price, one that Sakura had been unwilling to pay at first, especially since it entailed sharing details of the night her baby was conceived.

Ino couldn't quite digest the fact that innocent, little Haruno Sakura had done the dirty with a stranger and got herself knocked up.

Yamanaka made no bones about how intrigued she was by this mystery guy. Apparently someone whose mere presence had blasted the existence of Sasuke out of Sakura's head was worth praising—given the said girl's previous obsession with the Uchiha.

Sakura made her promise not to tell anyone the truth; she didn't want Sasuke getting wind of it. Ino told her that if she had been in her position, she would have flaunted her baby bump and showed the almighty Uchiha that she capable of getting laid. Sakura had cringed, not wanting to give him any more reasons to think little of her. She was unmarried and with child, that was not something to be proud of.

Ino said she had it under control and opted to fabricate a story that Sakura was dating a guy from a foreign country and they were engaged. It was cliché but the prospect of a shotgun wedding—as imaginary as it was—was better than letting people think she was promiscuous. But they had both hit an author's block where the vows that wouldn't be exchanged were concerned and the alleged fiancé missing his child's birth. People were going to start asking questions that neither of them would be able to answer.

Reality was where Sakura needed to keep her head. Relying on fantasy to make her situation more tolerable to herself and society would not end well. She needed to start planning for the arrival of her baby, for whether she liked it or not, there was going to be one in five months time. Pretending as if there wasn't going to be one, would no doubt be one reckless decision too many. And she had made enough of those to last her for a lifetime.

"Just think," Sakura said to her tummy, while she exited the shower. "In five months you'll be out here driving mommy almost as nuts as you do when you're in there," she laughed, rubbing her stomach. Talking to her baby was a favourite pastime of hers. It was a habit she picked up from being cooped up in her apartment with only a developing fetus for company.

Ino caught her reading a story to her belly once and almost died of laughter. She said that Sakura's obsession with the child's father was driving her insane.

The blonde had no idea…

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><p><em>She had a mesmerizing hour-glass figure, mouth-wateringly lush femininity encased in a slinky blouse and tight jeans that accentuated the long shapely legs that for some reason felt fantastic wrapped around him—at least in his mind. The black flats she wore looked like ballet slippers with straps crossed around her ankles. Somehow they were erotic, too, more so than kinky stiletto heels.<em>

_His gaze leapt back to fascinating face as she came nearer. Slight dimples indented her cheeks, a sultry full-lipped mouth, straight nose, angled cheekbones that highlighted the almond shape of her eyes. Green irises framed by thick, black lashes. Cat-like eyes, he thought, but they didn't conjure up the image of some tame domestic cat, more an infinitely dangerous panther, capable of clawing him apart._

_And why he should find that idea exciting he didn't know. Didn't think about it. It just was. He felt something dark and primitive stir inside him, wanting to take up the challenge she was beaming at him, wanting her submission to the desires she aroused, wanting to possess every part of her until he'd consumed the power she was exerting over him._

_But with his thoughts all over the place and his lips still tingling from the hard heat of hers, he was eager to get away from her. "And what if you don't fall asleep?" he asked, for a count of thirty seconds he stared at her with brooding force, his silver eyes burning hot as the heart of a fire._

_Class-A hunk._

_Sakura thought when she had first set eyes on him. Tall, dark and handsome with a body brimful of strong masculinity, his black jeans and the short-sleeved, open-necked white shirt he wore showed off his impressive physique. There was lots of surface sex appeal, but undoubtedly a bloated male ego to go with it._

_She didn't care. The man seemed to emanate power, the kind of big male dominant power that suddenly sent weak little quivers down her thighs. She couldn't stop her eyes from feasting on him. He had an undeniable animal magnetism that tugged out a wanton wondering about what it might be like to sleep with him. (And it wasn't the alcohol talking.)_

_Not quite civilized, she decided._

_Dark and intense._

_Sakura sucked in a quick breath as her heart skipped into a wild canter. This guy had it in spades. With one searing look he burnt Uchiha Sasuke right out of her mind and stamped his own image over the scar. It was a stunning impact. _

"_Then I guess…" she hesitated and then pressed doggedly on, "…you'll just have to spend the night."_

"_I can't do that," he said, watching as she made her way over to him, pushed him aside and closed the door behind him. "I've got a home and a family."_

"_So do I, but you don't hear me complaining about wanting to go home do you?" She drew herself up to her full insignificant height, feeling very much taller than she usually did. "Besides, don't you want to kiss me again?" she giggled, slurring her words._

_He was as still as a statue, his fabulous, sculpted bone structure prominent, he could not restrain a shudder. His throat thickened and closed over. He shook his head in vigorous disagreement, not trusting himself to speak._

_Sakura could feel something that felt uncommonly like a power current leaping through her. He wasn't immune to her after all, she conceded in astonishment. It was incomprehensible to her, but the high-voltage charge of his white-hot sexuality was focused on her like a blowtorch._

_She pouted, dry-mouthed, her entire body thrumming with the intolerable hunger. "I want a kiss."_

_His scorching gaze welded to hers. "Get it somewhere else."_

"_I only want it from you," she pointed at him._

_He almost cringed as he stepped around her, trying to make his way to the door once more. She anticipated his move and blocked the exit with her body—like a cat clasping the tail of a mouse to prevent its escape._

_Shock at her immediate, unhesitating retaliation made him turn white as snow, nausea stirring in his stomach. She was serious. "Move," he demanded._

_She giggled and shook her head, "You have to kiss me first."_

_He sucked in a sustaining breath. Curiosity warred with the need to keep the woman at a distance "Why in the world would you want me to do that?"_

_She ran her a finger down the line of buttons on his shirt, "I like the flavour of your lips," she purred._

_His pearly eyes widen a fraction. He knew damn well that it hadn't been curiosity that killed the cat. It was stupidity. "And what flavour is that?" _

_Lemonade and passion!_

_She was slow to reply, possibly picking up his inner tension and musing over its cause._

"_I can't remember," she said innocently, poking his buttons one by one. "Maybe another taste...?" she suggested coyly._

_An appalled inability to comprehend what he was hearing kept him silent. _

"_Kiss me and I'll let you go..." she negotiated, turning the key in the keyhole—trapping him inside with her._

_She dangled the keys playfully before him. He tried snatching them but she was quick to hide them behind her and stick out her tongue in mocking triumph. _

_Discomfited by her level of persistence, he shrugged in a very masculine way. He wasn't too sure why he found her childishness cute or her stubbornness sexy. Heck, he didn't know why he had kissed her again. _

_She was almost unaware of him moving closer, cupping her chin in one hand, tipping her face upwards. She felt his breath stir her eyelashes. A tight little knot had formed in her tummy. She pressed her thighs tightly together. The peaks of her breasts felt incredibly sensitive, the rosy tips distended and tingling. Warm colour mantled her cheeks. Just when she was on the brink of grabbing him, he brought his marauding masculine mouth down on hers. It felt impossibly intimate and incredibly good. _

_She clutched unto his arm to stay upright. Her heart thrashed against her ribcage. The invasion of his tongue beyond the tender fullness of her lips pierced her with a deep, aching longing that made her shiver. She wanted more. Her body was like a spring wound up too tight. She wanted to drown in the sweet, wicked pleasure he offered and forget her pride._

_But then before she knew it, the pressure of his mouth became fiercely demanding, his breathing frantic, and he was pushing her body against the door, pinning her there. Sakura was so flabbergasted by the sudden aggression that all she could do was laugh weakly when he finally stopped._

_A dark flush scored his hard cheekbones, stunning eyes glittering. He took a moment to regain his composure, rigid with the tension of exerting such fierce control over his overeager body. Then he stretched out his hand, politely asking for the keys._

_Sakura chortled at the expectant look that crept across his face when she moved to hand him his freedom. But before his fingers could hold a firm grasp on it, the pinkette retracted and stuck the key deep down the delta between the curves of her breasts._

"_Sakura...?" he growled, attempting to ignore the shrieking sensation of loss tugging at his nerve-endings._

"_What?" She wondered if he had registered that her response had hit earthquake scale and that her legs were still threatening to buckle. Breathing heavily, she resisted an urge to haul him back to her like a caveman. "Certainly you don't expect me to let you go that easily after a kiss like that ...now do you?"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know what you're thinking… drunk Sakura sounds like a rapist haha xD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Four**

**A/N: ****I****'****m still continuing despite the fact that the last chapter didn****'****t get much feedback.**

Slamming her car doors shut, Sakura walked hurriedly towards her place of employment, The Leaf Hospital. A very long day was ahead of her and she wanted nothing more than to just get it over with. The pinkette was in a particularly rotten mood this morning, and she seriously feared for any patient who was daring enough to get on her nerves today. Oh what she wouldn't give for a foot massage right now. It was simply inhuman to feel this sick. Her feet felt sore and swollen, she felt nauseous, her lower back was feeling tense and there was a pounding in her head which she couldn't account for.

Altogether she was feeling miserable, and well...pregnant. She suddenly wished that she had stayed home. But putting in a few hours at the hospital could earn her extra cash in her pocket, and as it is, she was going to need the extra money. She would probably need to work two jobs, but at the rate at which she was going, she doubt that even her current job should be tackled.

Nevertheless she was there trying to work off the lousy feeling that was engulfing her being. She'd have to endure this uncomfortable ordeal until the day was over, then she could go back home and relax in a nice warm bath, listen to some music and dream of the impossible. Maybe she could talk Ino into coming over and giving her a back massage. It's funny how people would do anything to keep a pregnant woman happy, to be more specific—to keep Sakura happy. Everyone knew her to be a bad-tempered female with an extremely sharp tongue, but now that she was pregnant, they feared that those traits would turn her into a serial killer.

Naruto feared her so much that sometimes he'd take the stairs when he saw her in the elevator. Tsunade was practically the only one who wasn't afraid to tell her that being pregnant had turned her into a spoilt and lazy little brat. But seriously, anyone would feel hopeless and miserable too if they were in her shoes. How could she possibly put off being a mother? Firstly she's not responsible enough; if she were, she wouldn't have been in this situation. Secondly she hasn't adequate knowledge on how to care for a child, emotionally that is, as far as paediatrics was concerned, she's great with kids. Thirdly, she just didn't think that she's capable; she wasn't physically, emotionally, mentally or financially stable to raise this child.

Nervously Sakura walked through the huge glass doors as it automatically opened to allow her entrance. The crisp air-conditioned waft engulfed her and she braced herself for the stares that would bore holes in her back and the whispers that she knew would follow her everywhere. Taking a deep breath, she hastily made her way across the familiar floors, the smell of the hospital had never been a problem before, but the smell of blood, anti-biotic, rubbing alcohol, antiseptic and all the usual scents associated with hospitals was making her sick. She hurriedly made her way to the sign her name in the log book ignoring the questioning look on the face of a fellow nurse. She took a look in the waiting area and was surprised to see that it wasn't as crowded as usual. A smile found its way onto her lips; maybe she'll be able to get home early after all.

By lunch time Sakura was exhausted, never had she worked so hard in her life before. She didn't know if it was because she was pregnant but those previous hours seemed like days to her. And even more upsetting was the fact that her fatigue feeling didn't result from running all over the hospital to take care of patients. No... It had everything to do with the fact that she spent the last few hours sitting at the front desk sorting through some dusty, old hospital records. Her new supervisor had apparently learned of her 'state' and decided that sitting down and fussing over complex documents with really poor penmanship was better for her. She didn't need special treatment! Damn it! She wanted to be where the action was. And the only action that she got out of sorting through all those files was the rhythmic throbbing in her temple.

"So forehead..." Ino was saying when they had settled in the cafe on their lunch break. She raised her water flask in toast to her friend then swallowed some of the scotch Sakura knew was concealed in the bottle. "How's your day going so far?"

Sakura sighed, "Do you want the truth or should I lie and tell you that I had the most amazing day of my life?''

Ino laughed, opening Sakura's bottle of orange juice for her then handing it to the pinkette with a childish smirk, Sakura frowned slightly, "Drink it Sakura,'' Ino instructed. "It wouldn't kill you to take a break from all that caffeine." Ino said. "I'm sure that you know that it's not good for the baby,'' Sakura rolled her eyes and Ino grinned at her, "...unless you've got no problem birthing a psychopath," she laughed.

"That's not funny Ino," Sakura touched her stomach then frowned at the blonde, "Don't make fun of little Hidari."

"Hidari?'' Ino cocked up a brow then downed what remained of her scotch in a single swallow. She waited for the liquor to settle before she told Sakura exactly what she thought of the name.

"It's a cute name," Sakura protested.

"What about Tsuki?'' Ino suggested, holding the flask to her head once more to drain what may have remained within it. Effortlessly Sakura snatched it from Ino clutches and gave her a disapproving scowl. Did she know how much trouble she'd get into if anyone ever found out about her little drinking habits? Silently she wondered what could have unnerved Ino so much that it led her to drinking.

"That's a girl's name Ino," she told her flatly. "Hidari is going to be a boy."

Ino sighed, rolling her beautiful eyes—eyes like lapis lazuli, thinking better than to argue with Sakura. After all it was her damn child; she could name it whatever the hell she wanted. "I hear you..." her voice gradually lowered.

"Oh but Hidari would be a cute girl's name too," she squealed, clapping her hands all the while ignoring the bottle being handed to her. But Ino wasn't one to be easily deterred by childish defiance and squirming. If she wanted you to do something, you best believe that she'd get you to do it whether by force or by the addition of some sort of incentives. It was her maternal nature that offered Sakura the comfort that she needed, especially in times like these when she felt that there was absolutely no hope.

And regardless of the fact that Ino could be a real bitch at times, Sakura wouldn't have her any other way. She was always there for her whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk some sense into her when Tsunade was too busy to take on the challenge. Yamanaka Ino proved to be a real pain in the ass among other things... but she's the snobbish, vindictive, impolite, little brat that Sakura had grown to love.

"Drink," Ino held up the bottle of orange juice to Sakura's reluctant lips and commanded. "You can't keep feeding on sweets and junk food Sakura, the baby needs nourishment."

"It's not that..." She choked on the cool liquid forcefully descending her oesophagus. Grabbing a hold of Ino's hand she shoved the bottle away from her mouth, not without sacrificing a few split drops on her white uniform. "Hey did you spike my orange juice?" Sakura joked licking the citrusy dew from her lips.

"Babies don't grow on trees Sakura, you really ought to exercise some sort of responsibility where both yours and the baby's health is concerned," she wiped around Sakura's mouth with a napkin.

"Hidari's just fine," she patted her stomach.

"How about something meaningful, like Tsuki? Moon, because she was conceived under the moon?'' Ino teased, replacing the now lipstick-smudged napkin on the table between them.

Sakura's emerald iris grew immensely wider as Ino's implication finally registered. Her pale cheeks went florid under the Ino's crystalline knowing azure gaze. Pink eyebrows knitted together and equally pink lips parted but no sound came out, which came as a surprise because Sakura had more than a mouthful to say to her favourite blonde personality.

"Full moon wasn't it?'' Ino inquired with wide-eyed innocence, inducing Sakura's discomfort. Then she burst out into a piercing chortle when Sakura's eye brow started twitching. "Relax forehead, I'm just pulling your leg."

Sakura shook her head furiously trying to fend off memories that Ino were forcing into her thoughts, "Stop teasing me pig," Sakura said softly looking down on her cheese sandwich in front of her. ''It's not funny."

"But be honest, the name Tsuki would have a lot more meaning wouldn't it?'' she continued.

"You're enjoying yourself aren't you?'' Sakura asked miserably. "Just so you know... I would never consider naming my child Tsuki because of the reason you implied."

Ino laughed, almost choking on Sakura's orange juice—serve her right, the bitch stole her drink, "Oh come on Sakura, I'm sure the father would love that name as well."

Sakura breathed out heavily, "This conversation has officially ended."

Ino pouted, conjuring up the best puppy dog eyes that she could. "Ah... come on Sakura, you know you want to tell me about his tone muscles, his deep husky drawl, his chestnut tresses, his irresistible charm, his mesmerizing eyes that locked you in a trance and—" she batted her eyelashes and twisted her lips into nasty little grin.

"Enough," she whispered hoarsely, dazed and a little frightened that Ino had painted such a perfect picture of the man responsible for her sleepless nights and empty days—almost as if she were looking at the image burned into Sakura's mind. "This is getting uncomfortable..."

"I was merely teasing Sakura."

"Well you need to fucking stop it!" she exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air.

Ino winced at the menacing glint in Sakura's jade eyes. Sure she didn't hold any grudges against Sakura for holding out on her about the happenings of that night, but that didn't mean that her interest wasn't peaking the more Sakura denied her access to the details of that faithful night. She knew that there was a cute guy, a drunken Sakura with devious little thoughts and a bottle of vodka. The math was easy, a drunken Sakura plus hot guy equals really bad things. She could easily read between the lines to understand that; but she didn't want to go by her fictitious beliefs, she wanted the hardcore facts. Not in vivid details of course...

"If this guy's as gorgeous as you claim him to be then your baby's going to be one hell of an eye-candy. You'll have to watch out, you might have to introduce me as your daughter-in-law in a couple of years," she laughed handing Sakura back her drink, which by the way was nearly finished. "I'd have to call you mom..." she cracked up.

"Yes," Sakura said but her response was so slow, it felt as though her mind had drifted off to somewhere else. "I will have no such thing," she suddenly said aloud as if finally picking up on what was being said.

"You couldn't help if Hidari were to fall in love with me," Ino shot the growingly peeved pinkette. "Why... I think we'd have cute children," Ino laughed, carefully watching the expression on Sakura's face, mindful of the bottle of orange juice in her hand that could easily be thrown in her direction with the slightest flex of muscles.

Sakura giggled throwing off Ino for a bit. "Keep daydreaming pig. But this little player won't be chasing your old goods," she patted her stomach again. "Or any old goods for that matter," then they both broke into gaiety laughter.

"I can't wait until you pop out that little sucker," Ino jabbed her fork into her salad consisting of lettuce, tomatoes, bits of barbecued chicken, red peas and courgette. "I'm so happy for you," she covered Sakura's hand with her palm and smile, not just one of those smug smirks. A genuinely moving—smile.

"I'm sorry Ino," Sakura looked down at her untouched sandwich.

"What for forehead?" she held up her fork to Sakura's mouth, an attempt to get her to eat but the stubborn girl turned her head to the side. "Eat dammit," Ino scowled. "At least try the sandwich."

"I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed today. It's the first in a long while that I've been here and the smell of the place is really provoking my gut."

"There's no need to apologize for being fat—I mean pregnant," Ino snickered.

Seemingly oblivious of Ino teasing she went on, "Then there's the fact that I'm being forcibly placed to work in an environment that I'm unfamiliar with. I'm not a secretary so why am I doing office work? I'm a damn nurse; I belong with the patients! Not with the damn dusty old papers that look as if they were doodled on by three year olds!"

Ino laughed, "Well... it looks like you'll need to present your case to the supervisor."

"Maybe I will," Sakura said taking her first bite of her cheese sandwich which tasted almost as insipid as her mood.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura flung herself down on her sofa, relieved that the day was finally over. Kicking off her bed slippers she propped her legs up against the arm of the couch, turned on the radio and allowed the music to flow through her like a gentle tide, soothing her into tranquillity. All she had to do now was lay back against the pillow beneath her head and wait for the music to take her through the night.

Sighing, she realized that she hadn't gotten the chance to see Tsunade today. It was because of her mentor's increasingly busy schedule which resulted from her sudden promotion. To some extent Sakura envied Tsunade, for the strong and confident woman that she was, not to mention her career was really starting to take off and Sakura's...well, it was failing before it even started. And having a baby at such a crucial time in her career was going to put a big halt on her success in the medical world. But she was willing to go the extra mile for this child, even if it meant giving up her dream. The odds were stacked against her, but she would have to try. There was absolutely no room for fuck ups this time. It'd cost her too much...

Stubbornness was a crime, it was treacherous thing, yet that night, it was only the stubborn part of her personality that had surfaced. There were so many things that she wished she hadn't done, that she wished she hadn't said, but it was too late to take them back now. Then there was the present to consider, and even now there were so many things that she didn't want to have to do, like enduring the nine months of torture know to mankind as pregnancy, she didn't want to be a mother, she didn't want to have to go back to work tomorrow either. Heck, she didn't even want to get up to answer the damn door.

Was it too much to ask for a little peace and quiet? Sighing, she reluctantly got up from her seat and walked hesitantly to the door, hoping that maybe her stalling might make the buzzing go away.

Upon opening the door, she was jolted into a state of mystification by the sight before her, this body definitely didn't belong to Ino, nor did it belong to the very annoying Naruto or anyone that she normally associated herself with on a normal day to day basis. It looked familiar but strangely different.

"Sakura?'' the voice said, but it sounded as though it were a question.

She remained fixed, feeling as though any minute now consciousness would depart from her.

"Wh...?'' she asked taking a step back inside. Was this some sort of illusion? She ran a hand through her loose pink tresses. "Wh...?" was all she managed to get out.

Familiar lilac orbs from her nightly delusion stared down into her shocked filled green once. A serious look flashed across the face of her guest as his eyes trailed over her body. Studying her face and relishing the look of utter stupefaction on her face. He smirked at her, obviously content that he had caused such a stir.

"Haruno Sakura?'' he asked again looking quite unsure.

**A/N: Reading without Reviewing is a crime! Let's put a stop to violence on by reviewing :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Five**

**A/N: ****I****'****m thoroughly displeased at the amount of effort that I put out into this story and the little feedback that it gets. But I love those of you that read and review. You****'****re the only reason why I****'****m continuing.**

She heard the tidal sound of his breath, and imagined she could hear the steady, mournful beat of his heart. Was he as aware of her? She wondered. She didn't say a thing, and in that moment she wondered what good language was anyway, when it couldn't possibly convey the depth of emotions she was feeling now. Her hands went to his face, and she closed her eyes when her palms closed over his jaw. She jumped when his hands shot up to cover hers, pressing them hard against his face.

"Sakura," he groaned, reaching for her waist, nearly spanning it with his hands, so that the length of his body brushed against her. He rested his chin against her forehead briefly, breathing in the clean fragrance of her hair, then he murmured against her brow, "I think I've earned my freedom."

No. She raised her eyes to his and shook her head once.

"Sakura." He drew her name out into a plea, but she ignored it, reaching up to thread her fingers into his hair, watching the strands flutter and part, and then close around her hands in a silken caress. He sighed; if she kept this up, his defeat looked promising because she was slowly peeling away his layer of defence.

Green fire flickered in her eyes as she searched his, her brows tipped in an expression of so many feelings they were beyond isolation and identification.

Sakura felt the strong hands at her waist tremble, as if they were fighting to jerk her against him and push her away all at the same time. She saw the eminent line of his jaw clenched with exertion, the bitter strain in his eyes, the almost slight flare of his nostrils as his head lowered to hers, then lifted abruptly away, then lowered helplessly again. She could feel his breath breaking across her nose and cheeks in soft, fragrant puff of air. Suddenly her thighs were against his, denim pressing denim, and then his hands moved with conviction on her waist, pulling her slowly against him until she felt the swollen press of her breast joining the wall of his chest with a sweet shattering pleasure and pain. She pulled helplessly for breath through her open mouth as her eyes fell closed, shuddering at the steaming liquid tide rising within her and still he denied them both. His mouth hovered just over hers, savouring the anticipation of the inevitable, denying this last, binding, remarkable contact while his eyes searched hers.

"I can't do this," he whispered suddenly, his mouth so close that she felt his lips brush against hers when he spoke.

"What happens between us has nothing to do with anything else," she argued but he held her shoulders, holding her slightly away.

"Don't..." he warned, letting his hands slide down along her body until they dropped to his side. He pressed them stiffly against his sides; his face was expressionless, as if he couldn't trust himself to allow a single muscle in his body freedom to act. "And put your shirt back on," he ordered, shifting his gaze from her to nothing in particular.

Sakura felt the dryness of eyes opened too wide for too long, and blinked. She studied his face; his eyes were as eloquent as his expression was blank. They burned with the intensity of desperate longing; the pain of self-denial.

"What's the matter? Don't you want me too?" she giggled suddenly, not fully comprehending the hazards of their current situation.

He frowned at her, "You're drunk, you don't know what you want."

"There's where you're wrong," she pushed herself up against him, poking his chest. Her eyes darkened, "I do know what I want. I want you." She thought she saw him flinched.

"Oh come on, stop it," he pushed her away, "Go to bed."

"I will... if you come with me," she giggled moving across the room to settle in the leather sofa. She poured herself a glass of vodka and finished the glass in one gulp. Her white eyed companion scowled at her. "Would you like a glass?" she smirked pouring out another glass. And just as she had anticipated, he came to her, taking the glass from her hand.

This woman was crazy, he thought, obviously she didn't know her limits. He swore that her unnatural hair colour had to account for her unusual demeanour.

"I'm convinced that you're brain dead," he told her setting the glass on the coffee table beside the sofa. "You don't follow instructions well do you?"

She shook her head and beamed up at him with a mischievous glint in her verdant eyes. He almost squirmed at the way she was looking at him, like she'd devour him if she ever got the chance. He didn't like that look, it was terrifying, it was misleading yet tempting...it was lust!

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Hn?"

"Like I'm crazy or something," she folded her arms and frowned at him.

"You're not?" he asked seriously, though the hint of humour in his tone was obvious. His mouth twisted in a lazy smile, and to Sakura's amusement he looked her thoroughly up and down. "It's hard to believe that you're not. When the things you do and say keep convincing me otherwise."

She laughed and patted a seat beside her, indicating that he was to come sit beside her but he declined, "You act as if I have some sort of contagious disease of something."

_Technically you do, it called lust. And if you keep making such strong advances on him, chances are he__'__ll contract it too. And then...you__'__re both screwed Sakura__—literally, and__ there__'__s only one antidote for lust! So Beware!_

"Hn."

"Can you pass me my shirt?" Sakura asked suddenly. He had the strangest feeling that she was up to something, but he didn't make the slightest indication, instead, he walked over to where Sakura's blouse laid on the floor, picked it up, unconsciously clutching it to his chest. It reeked with the smell of tequila, brandy, whiskey, vodka and who knows what else! But there was also a faint smell of cherry blossom and his olfactory nerves seem to have danced with delight when the scent registered. Maybe he was really the crazy one he thought, what the hell was he doing sniffing the woman's damn clothes!

"Here,' he handed her the shirt and twitched when she grinned up at him. "Fun's over"

It all happened within the space of a heart beat that he couldn't quite put a finger on how he got in the sofa, or how she got on top of him, straddling his legs between hers.

"On the contrary..." she whispered, tickling his skin with her breath. "The fun has just begun," she giggled, watching him struggle beneath her. His white eyes reflecting his utter bewilderment and trepidation...

OoOoOoOo

Her words stumbled into silence. Pale white eyes, silky brown hair and flawless skin stood in her doorway, filling it with his presence, she had to admit, that this man was oddly handsome in his dark blue shirt that fitted his leanly muscled body with cushion-made precision. Beneath it, she could see a soft blue coloured shirt and a striped silk tie. He looked sophisticated and ready to get down to business. Unfortunately the only thing that could possibly tie this man to the very one of her pursuit where those unique pair of eyes... surely those extraordinary eyes must only be indigenous to a certain family, group of people or race.

She silently wondered if there was some sort of connection between him and this man. Sakura would never admit the amount of disappointment that washed over her when she tore her gaze away from those captivating eyes and realized that they didn't belong to her mysterious lover. The jolt in her heart beat when she had first seen his eyes caused quite an up rush in her blood that she thought that maybe she'd pass out from its intensity; she thought that maybe the heavens had finally decided to answer her prayers. But, maybe they were still punishing her for being the bad little girl that she had been four months ago. Because whoever this man was, he most definitely wasn't the one she was looking for. He was too old, too arrogant looking and too damn intimidating. But then again, she was drunk when she met her child's father, so there might be the slightest chance that she had been mistaken all along; everything looked different when you were under the influence of alcohol.

"Is there something wrong?" the tall towering man asked forcing Sakura out of her trance-like state, but she still couldn't find words to speak. He ran his hands through his hair, and stared hard at Sakura. "When the hospital said you had a condition, I didn't think they meant you were dumb," he said looking over her shoulders. He reached past her and slammed the apartment door shut.

Sakura's hand trembled as she drew her robe more closely around her. "Yes, I'm Sakura Haruno," she managed to say. "Is there a problem?" she asked.

"Not unless that child you're carrying belongs to my nephew," he smirked and pointed at her stomach. "That damn boy has been getting on my nerves lately." Sakura flushed out of confusion and at the slight possibility but the man laughed at her, reassuring her that he was merely joking. "What are the odds of that happening huh?" he laughed then introduced himself as Hiashi Hyuuga, her new supervisor.

"I don't mean to sound rude, I applied for a nursing position," she said tightly. "And if my memory serves me right, I don't recall ever putting in my resume or application letter that I was looking for a secretarial position." Hiashi opened his mouth as if to interject but Sakura continued, "Being pregnant doesn't make someone a handicap, I'm perfectly capable of performing my job efficiently," she said a bit loudly, clenching her fist at her sides, Hiashi took noticed to the small gesture and smirked.

He chuckled to himself, "Nobody said that you couldn't."

"Then why—"

"Because I have the power to do so," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, "...and frankly Sakura, I think it would be for the best if the patients are left to be dealt with by nurses who can hold a firm grip on their emotions." Sakura flinched at this, "If you lose your temper this easily just by expressing your displeasure with my decision I can only assume what the patients might go through with you, especially when you start going through those ridiculous mood swings."

She growled inwardly, "Have you got something against pregnant women working at the hospital Mr. Hyuuga?"

Hiashi narrowed his eyes at her, and growled.

She folded her arms across her chest and frowned at him, "Why are you here?"

"Ahh, I was getting to that..." he said, and then hesitated, "I have a special task for you."

"Huh?"

"My daughter is considering taking a nursing course and I'd like for her to get some experience before she takes on college," he said looking down at his feet.

What the fuck has that got to do with me, she wanted to ask. But her manners got the better of her, "Are you talking about tutoring or something...?"

"Not exactly," he smirked. "She'll be volunteering at the hospital for two weeks; by the end of that time I'd like her to have a completely different view on the medical field. I want you to change her mind."

Sakura understood what he was asking of her and she frowned. Five minutes in his presence and he had already proven how much of an asshole he could be. Something gave her the feeling he was not going to want to keep her around too long when taken into consideration her being pregnant and his obvious dislike for her species.

"I want the best for my children Sakura and I don't think Hinata would make a good nurse," he stated, sounding every bit as arrogant as he appeared. He seemed like a very proud man—so proud that it made him look selfish. There was, after all nothing wrong with wanting the best for your children but to manipulate them in such a way was not only wrong, it's socially barbaric!

"Why don't you think your daughter would not make a good nurse?" she enquired.

"No offence to your profession, but I do not want my either of my daughters or my nephew cleaning bed pans for a living."

It was too big a blow to ignore. Suppressing the urge to allow her sharp tongue to defend herself resulted in an internal battle. Her pink eyebrow twitched uncontrollably, her jaws and fist clenched, there was only one thing stopping her from pummelling that uptight asshole who calls himself her supervisor. And that was the mere fact that she'd probably be jobless if she gave in to her deadly desires. "I can assure you that bed pan cleaning has its advantages. It's what pays the rent and keeps me alive," she bristled.

"I suppose people do get a kick out of being servants, it gives them some sort of purpose... But I will not have it in my household." The older man completely disregarded Sakura's feeble attempt at defending her profession and continued with his bashing, saying that nursing was slavery, a task for desperate people. He completely turned the whole idea of nursing into something far less than what it really was, making it seem degrading and hateful.

"Your job is to ensure that Hinata has the worst possible experience at the hospital," he informed her.

"How exactly will I go about doing that?" she asked getting more disinterested as the seconds rolled by. At first the idea of supervising another had seemed exciting, but given the motive behind this scandalous task, Sakura was tempted to decline. Still the desire to exercise some sort of authority at the hospital was appealing.

"By scaring her out of medical school and into law school," he smirked at her. "Besides, you'll need the extra cash."

Precisely the moment he made the remark she felt the crazy urge to declare him wrong. She was not some charity case! Sure she wasn't rich, but she sure as hell wasn't broke either. "I'm no charity case, Mr. Hyuuga," she grated, finally allowing all the disappointment and frustration to surface.

"I didn't say you were," he said quickly.

"You implied it," she snarled. "I'm going to ask you to leave," she walked hastily towards the door and flung it open. Gesturing for him to leave; her snarls indicated that he was no longer welcomed in her home. Pass the pregnancy hormones and all, she was genuinely pissed. He and his perfect daughter could kiss her sorry pregnant ass and go home riding on their frigging high horse. She wanted no part in his scheme. Who does he think he is? Coming into her home; insulting her profession and implying that she was poor and needy. He just lost the non-existent respect that she had for him. She'd only just met the man and she already couldn't stand him. He seemed prejudice, egocentric and damn inconsiderate.

"Sakura?" she heard her name from behind her. What the hell was Naruto doing here now? Especially at a time like this where she felt like attempting a homicide.

"Not now Naruto," she said fiercely; turning around to snarl at her unwanted guest. But instead of blue eyes Sakura found herself coming face to face with yet another pair of those ashen orbs. Her stomach churned, her head pounded, there was no mistaking now... Was she being delirious again? That scent... those eyes... that hair... that mouth... that taste...wait... what taste? _Lemonade and passion!_ Her heart missed a few beats; her breath caught in her throat as she stood. Dumb folded. The last conscious thought that ran through her mind was; _is it really him...?_

OoOoOoOo

"Sakura, this is outrageous, get off me!"

Ignoring his shrieks she continued her onslaught, keeping her eyes fixed on his, relishing the look of utter defeat that lurked in them. She leaned down on him, lowering her mouth to his. He shifted his head but she caught him anyways.

"Don't..." he uttered, it was a plea for survival, pure and simple.

She lifted her head, her extraordinary eyes glittering in a taut, sexually aroused face. "I don't know..." she twined a strand of his hair around her fingers. "I feel obligated to teach you a lesson."

"Like rape?" he demanded furiously, superbly lithe from his workouts but helpless as a baby beneath her and her inhuman strength. He seriously denied the possibility that this _child_ would be capable of such things but who knows...

A smile flashed across her face. "Has it ever been done before?"

He stared up at her fierily, colour flaring beneath his beautiful skin. "What do you want from me?" he asked with a failed attempt to sound calm. _You might want to rephrase that question._ He felt her steady his head with her hand, and then she kissed him. Her mouth opened over his and his mind seemed to have exploded into a million dazzling pieces. Her free hand roamed, sliding over his shirt, down to the taut denim covering his hip.

"Don't you already know?" she asked, biting on his earlobe. He groaned and her eyes widen when she felt something poke her against one of her thighs. Biting her lips she wondered if she had gone too far, but the raging, rising heat within her spoke for itself. She didn't want to admit it but she had been aroused long before him, that heat in her lower body wasn't as blatant an advertisement as a man's body, but it had to be as influencing. "See..." she continued, "Like that, that's what I want from you." Her voice was thick, her words ragged. "And you want the same thing," she stifled a giggle.

He was breathing hard and trying not to. But even as he responded to her, she infuriated him. After all she was drunk! So smugly confident and so femininely sure of herself. Too many conflicting emotions resulted in anger, "Take your hands off me!" he demanded.

"Oh stop being such a prissy pants," she scowled softly, "You know you want to..." she whispered tauntingly.

"Not unless hell freezes over," he hissed.

"That wasn't a question sweetie," she told him sweetly. When she saw the level of discomfort on his face she burst out into laughter.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked struggling to get up.

"Because..." she kissed the tip of his nose and he grimaced, "I think I'm in love," she said dreamily, and he almost laughed at her, but that sincere and celestial look in her eyes told him that maybe there was a possibility that she was being dead serious. Who was he kidding, they had only just met, and only idiots believed in love at first sight. And then of course she was drunk, poor girl wasn't even able to distinguish between her right hand from her left. Yet she was here professing love to a stranger whom she had only just met.

The alcohol wasn't only messing with her head; it was screwing with her hormones as well. And that was where the scare really surfaced. She didn't look capable of such thing but he knew if she tried she might succeed. She gave him a nasty little grin, one that hinted very salacious desires. He squirmed beneath her but she didn't bulge one bit. Suddenly he felt powerless; both from his struggling and his unexplainable desire.

His pupils enlarged and his breath stopped in his throat, while with a hand in his hair, Sakura bent forward. Her mouth brushed his, "You know what?" she asked. "I think you're in love with me too."

This time he did laugh, "I think... you've had way too much to drink."

She giggled reaching out to him, and the emotion in her eyes pushed him right up to the top and over the edges. Her mouth feathered against his again. "Don't kid yourself, we both knew it the first time we laid eyes on each other," her voice was a low persuasive purr and her hands moved beneath his hair to the back of his neck, where his head was prompt on the arms of the sofa.

His senses were reeling, blurring issues, and he lost all his train of thought. The realization scared him that he wanted to. That he wanted her. "Sakura..." he said breathily, and heard the invitation in his own voice. It wasn't right, he didn't mean it. But nevertheless when their mouths met, his mouth was hungry, but as he presumed, so was hers. The kiss wasn't sweet. It was lustful, inflaming and erotic. It wasn't long before he felt himself slowly growing light headed from her drunken kisses. And oddly enough, everything after that was a blur in his mind. You know what they say, _both heads can__'__t work at the same time,_ it's just one of the many defects of being male.

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. School has been keeping me busy. Hahahaha I bet you all thought Hiashi was Neji! =^-^= I rushed to type this because I love you all too much to stall any longer. I even made it long. Six Pages!****So be grateful! lol. I****'****ve got a Spanish test tomorrow and I typed this instead. Please don****'****t flame, confidence is not one of my strong points. Questions? Comments? Concerns, Ideas?**

_**Reading without Reviewing is a Crime... Help to put a stop to violence on Fanfiction.**_** Lmao**


	6. Chapter 6

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Six**

**A/N: For me to continue this story it's going to take some serious motivation and a miracle for I've already deemed this story a failure. I know that Nejisaku isn't that popular but…**

When the door had suddenly flung open Neji stopped dead. The lush curve of a very familiar backside was his first sight as Sakura bellowed at his uncle to get out. A plume of pink hair spilled down her summer robe. Pain stabbed him, pain and sudden, surprising desire, as his eyes misted over the sight. She turned around and their eyes met; their faces only a mere inch away. Her breath hissed between suddenly dry lips as she filled her lungs. How could he have forgotten how penetrating her gaze could be? The emerald-green eyes were like a clear mountain pool dappled with sunlight and shade. They snapped him to attention, paralyzing him for a moment so that he couldn't summon his manners or his poise.

His eyes swept over her, lingering on the rapid rise and fall of her breast beneath her thin summer robe, and then returned to her face, "Sakura..." His voice was steady, which amazed him, because his heart was racing like a rabbit fleeing the shadow of a hawk. From appearances, it seemed the few months had been wonderful to her. She was even more beautiful in his eyes; the months seem to have added a maturity that made her breath-taking. She was slightly heavier that he remembered, but he presumed that it was the natural evolution from shapeliness and slenderness of a young girl to a full-grown advertiser of womanhood.

OoOoOo

She didn't have time to wonder why he was here, she could only clutch the door handle, staggering with his presence in her life again, tumbling back down into the extravagant, urgent need she felt as her eyes took in every familiar, perfectly chiselled feature. Her heart had begun a dizzying spiral right before she felt to the world of oblivion. She could hardly believe what she saw. It was him. Standing at her door, looking touchingly familiar but at the same time looking nothing like the man she had seen four months ago. He was still tall, lean and broad shouldered. His hair was still silky and long, and his eyes still held that warmth which she seems to be the only one to realize. But most compelling of all, was the pure, unadulterated male in the prime of life. Sakura chewed on her bottom lip. Not conscious of the movement she had clutched to the door handle, placing the other hand, palm flat, against the white wooden panel. What was he doing here? Now?

OoOoOo

He quickly drew Sakura's unconscious body up against him before she hit the ground. He kept her there with only light pressure, mindful of his uncle's eyes watching him with close apprehension. It didn't take him long for the memories of that night to flood back into his mind—he remembered with heart-stopping clarity how wonderful it had been, how wrongly-right it had felt, how her hands and mouth had coaxed responses from him which he had not consciously conjured.

"Get her inside Neji," Hiashi ushered and Neji nodded in acknowledgement. He swooped her up in his arms and swiftly made his way across the room where he laid her slightly weighty body on the sofa.

Neji kept watch in the spacey sitting room, while Hiashi went to fetch warm water and a towel. Neji pulled his chair close to the sofa, his pale eyes intent on the pallid form under the layers of quilts. She lay flat on her back, pink hair pushed away from her forehead, her chin lifted, as defiant in sleep as her hands had been, jerking the quilt down from her neck to expose the tender flesh that her summer robe failed to conceal. Neji had long since given up trying to keep her totally covered. Even unaware, she seemed to disdain the idea of being compliant even if it just the tender ministration of a man.

For reasons he didn't care to analyse, he couldn't make himself leave her and find out what was taking Hiashi so long in the kitchen, even though there was really no need to keep watch any longer. He clasped his hands in his lap and scowled, suddenly angry at himself. She was just another woman—troublesome and stubborn as the rest of them, cursed by the need to control to a pointless existence of constant struggle—precisely the kind of woman and kind of life that he was trying to avoid. Admittedly he had always admired females, who liked to have their own way, but maturity had granted him control over those responses; or so he had thought. Why should this woman in particular shatter that control? Suddenly he saw himself as he must appear, huddled by this sofa as if his life depended on every breath drawn by the woman in it, a woman he barely knew.

Sighing, he pulled his chair closer, wondering what on earth was he going to say to her. He crossed his arms on the quilt next to her body, and let his head sag down in frustration. It quickly snapped back up when he felt the tentative touch of Sakura's finger on one wayward coils of his hair. He shifted his eyes to her face and jumped when he saw her eyes were fully opened, her mouth curved in amusement.

"Why didn't you tell me you were awake?" he snapped irritably, straightening in his chair, fixing the lapels of her robes closely around her, which earned him a naughty grin, but he tried his best to avoid eye contact.

"Well nice to see you too," she drawled, ending with a smiling yawn she covered with one hand. The expression in her eyes was so sweetly honest, so sad, that he felt a lump rise in his throat.

He turned his face away from her and frowned, unsure of whether or not he should be thankful or remorseful about their encounter. For the last few months images of her pervaded his nights and filled his days. She had been the root of all his nightmares and fantasies (_fantasies?)_ these past months, but was it cruel fate or was it sheer luck that he had stumbled upon her tonight?

OoOoOo

Sakura too was confused as to how she should react to their unexpected presence in each other's life again; she kept playing with her fingers, every once in a while glancing at Neji's rigid back. There was deafening silence between the two.

"What happened?" she asked suddenly intrigued but at the same time all she wanted was for him to speak, to say something, regardless of how awkward their current situation was.

"You had a mild panic attack," he informed her, turning to look at her expression, their eyes met and locked. For a few ponderous seconds, they just stared at each other, reflecting on the event which played out four months ago and the empty nights and lonely days that followed.

Sakura allowed a smile to soften her lips, wishing that it was enough to clear some of the suffocating tension that pervaded the room. "Well, I know who to hold responsible for that."

"How are you Sakura?" he asked solemnly.

She sat up instantly, allowing the blanket to fall from her body; glaring at him, "What kind of question is that?" she snarled. "You have some nerves!" she clenched her fist. "How am I doing?" she asked him in a hysterical tone.

He stared at her in grave astonishment, and she found herself sitting still for Neji's long study. She kept an expression of polite inquiry on her face. His gaze returned to search her eyes again. His powers of observation came into play as he tried to figure out whether or not his eyes were deceiving him. Was she just fat or was she...? A fresh surge of panic rushed through his veins.

Sakura noticed the slight change in his expression, and frowned again, irritated that he had been the starter to this endless silence once again. Worst of all was the way he was looking at her, like he'd just seen his death. She followed his gaze and it landed upon her swollen abdomen. She flushed, how could she have forgotten about the baby_, his baby... their child?_

She swallowed, not knowing what to do or say. For a heart-stopping moment she was afraid to meet his gaze, least she might see something disturbing in those ashen orbs of his. It never occurred to her that maybe he may not want this child if he ever found out. She looked from her stomach then to his face seeing the slight panic in his countenance. Her eyes stung from the intensity of the unknown emotion that swelled up inside her.

"You're pregnant?" he asked finally, eliminating the intoxicating stillness that had engulfed them.

Sighing, she nodded, suddenly finding it hard to speak.

"Am I?" he asked looking away, his jaws clenched in bitter tension. She could sense the panic in his ambience, and the fact that maybe he was hoping that he did not father her child was quite evident. She started at him sadly, her mouth opened slightly.

She took a breath and opened her mouth to speak but Hiashi beat her to it.

"She's awake," he declared as he entered the room, settling a steaming cup of tea on her coffee table and eyeing the two with suspicion. Sakura drew the blankets over growingly chilly body and gave Neji a pleading look. "Sakura, this is my nephew Neji Hyuuga," Hiashi introduced the two.

"We have already—" Sakura was saying.

"—It's a pleasure to meet you," Neji said quickly stretching his hand out to Sakura who gave him an annoyed look, nevertheless she shook it. She understood now, Neji's change in attitude when he caught sight of her baby bump, surely he'd dread having a child out of wed-lock with a proud uncle like his. But unlike Neji she was not intimidated by the old hag.

"Likewise," she said sarcastically and blushed when Neji's hand closed over hers. Her heart skipped a beat when she thought his lips had curved up into a smirk. Hiashi made note of this and smirked to himself. His nephew always had such a powerful impact on females that to some extent the elder envied and respected him. He also made a mental note of the way Neji was reluctant in releasing her hand and frowned. But most upsetting of all was that awkward lockage of their gaze; silent and innocent yet at the same time reeked of some sort of **guilty passion**.

"Very well then, we should be on our way Neji," the older man was saying, aware of the wordless yet heated conversation going on between his nephew and his employee. They seem to have completely disregarded his presence. He cleared his throat and both their eyes snapped in his direction. "You should drink the tea while it is still warm," he told Sakura sounding a bit irritated.

She nodded in acknowledgement.

"You'll be late for dinner if you stall any longer," Hiashi told Neji who rolled his eyes, fortunately the old man hadn't noticed, but Sakura did and she giggled, which earned her an eerie look from Neji.

"I need to have a word with Miss Haruno," Neji said casually and Sakura chewed on her bottom lip. That impatient tone touched a memory. In fact it touched many memories.

"You have cancelled dinner with the Sabaku heiress three times in a row," Hiashi reminded him.

"Then that should have given both of you your first clue...I'm not interested," he spat gruffly.

"You can't cancel tonight Neji. It would be rude."

"If it's important Neji, then you should go," Sakura offered. Neji looked at her, then to his uncle and muttered something that neither one of them could hear.

"We need to talk," he told her in a tone that stated that it wasn't a matter of asking, he was telling her that they needed to and that they will talk.

Sakura sweat dropped, she didn't know why she was so nervous all of a sudden. "There's nothing to talk about," she said softly quite aware of the older man watching her keenly. Neji's eyes narrowed at her but he remained silent.

Sighing, Hiashi fetched his coat and walked out assuring Neji that he'd be downstairs, but if he took more than fifteen minutes he'd have to take the bus home. The door slammed behind him rattling Sakura's teeth and stirring up the anxiety that already filled her essence. She swallowed hard nervously picking up a non-existent strand off the blanket and supposedly disposing of it. They were alone once more. And that knowledge provoked some very disturbing memories.

They returned to their previous stony silence and Sakura growled inwardly. Neji looked at her, as if urging her to say something. But she too was waiting for him to speak first. The tension between the two was almost tangible. Both trying their best to push aside memories of _that night_ and focus on the present, but they both seemed to be failing miserably.

"Neji," Sakura said getting up in an almost trance-like state to sit in front of him. Her emerald gaze penetrated his, and she felt her stomach flip when she noticed the slight upturn of his sensual mouth. It all felt unreal, like any minute now she'd wake up and Neji would be gone. Subconsciously she gasped his hands and held them to her chest.

Any attempts to snatch away his hand were in vain. "Sakura, please don't start this again," he warned softly. "Look at where it took us."

OoOoOo

But even as he spoke those words his face was inching closer and closer to hers. Or more accurately her face was closing in on his. His eyes flickered over her face uncertain of whether or not he should push her away. He could see the flawless, creamy perfection of her skin. "Sakura." He smelled that elusive scent again. Her teeth caught her lower lip, and he felt the barest hint of a sigh against his face. Her slanted eyes glinting green in the soft light. They were grave but somehow so warm, almost expectant.

And before he could stop himself, he was kissing her.

OoOoOo

Sakura's head swam. He was actually kissing her. Hard. And she was kissing him back. Harder. Deeper. More intensely, she thought dizzily than she'd ever kissed him before, that night four months ago. She supposed she wanted to kiss him from the moment she had seen him at her door tonight. His lips were cool against hers, but inside his mouth all warm a sweet. The feel of him excited her as she'd never dreamed she could be excited. It was extraordinary to be kissed so thoroughly and with such concentration, and Sakura marvelled at the poverty of her existence before it.

Her hands slid around his neck. Her lips lingered at the contours of his mouth, and her heart picked up speed. Her hands released his and she curled her fingers into his shirt, and saw a new light in his eyes. Like the night at the inn, the sensuality between them, was expanding, enveloping both of them.

"Don't you think this would be one mistake too many?" Neji eased her from him and stood, running his hand through his hair out of frustration.

Sakura's cheeks burnt scarlet, how could she have allowed what happened a while ago to happen? Back then she was drunk; now she wasn't, so what was it about this man that she found so addictive? She glanced down at her stomach, then to Neji. "Neji?" she asked.

"Hn."

"What are we going to do?"

"About?" he asked.

"The baby," she said softly looking away shyly.

"This would have been a lot easier to deal with if..." Neji's voice trailed off leaving Sakura to wonder what he was going to say. He shook his head and sighed. "What have I gotten myself into?"

"If what?" she asked anxiously.

"If I wasn't engaged."

**A/N: I wasn't planning on ending it there but this was already too long plus I'm kind of disappointed in this story. Please Review, if not this will be DISCONTINUED. It's not a threat lol, it's just that I've been demotivated. I still love this story and where I intend to go with it but...I guess not that many people do. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Seven**

**A/N: THANK YOU ALL for the reviews and the pms. I wasn't trying to scare you all, it's just that I'm easily discouraged and confidence is not my strong point. **

She closed her eyes to the sight of him and waited for the onslaught of feeling, waited to be overpowered by despair, but all she felt was guilt and a sick emptiness, as if she had been robbed of the capacity to feel at all. Words could not express her level of disappointment or the sudden twinge of hatred she felt for the unknown woman he was supposedly engaged to. If her pride had permitted it, she would have cried aloud out of frustration but her mind stumbled and stopped on the last four words, because they were the only important ones.

"If I wasn't engaged."

She chastised herself silently, bitterly, as she stared at him, daring him to say something in his defence. By all right she should be holding him at gun point for doing such a thing to her but instead she plastered a well noticeable plastic smile upon her lips to keep the snarl from her face. You're sickening, she told herself: mindless, weak and unforgivably dumb, to actually think that he'll just show up in your life and come sweep you off your feet.

But surely she never expected him to stay single all his life, especially with such ravishing good looks and a family of such high status. With an enormous amount of effort and will, she managed to sound cool when she congratulated him on his engagement.

He grunted, and she tried as best not to let her features go still, but she never realised that what she really felt shone clearly in those emerald eyes of hers.

"We'll figure something out," he said softly, but even as Sakura straightened slightly, lifting her chin even higher to meet his gaze she saw the uneasiness in his lilac orbs; and she in return felt her smile dying and her face going rigid regardless of his hot liquid gaze that threatened to strip away that expression-less mask that paraded upon her beautiful features. "We'll figure something out."

"Neji please!" her stomach churned and she couldn't take it anymore. The sudden frantic rush of guilt was too much to bear; her insides felt like they were about to crumbled. She didn't want his whole life to be ruined because of her. Why should he have to pay for something that she initiated? Though he wasn't innocent, he most certainly wasn't the guilty party here. Tears, swift and unexpected, filled her eyes. "This isn't your child," she told him in a broken murmur.

"What?" Neji's gaze tore away from Sakura with obvious reluctance, and frowned at the ground.

She felt her stomach lurch. "I'm not carrying your child," she answered firmly, though her mind was screaming with her to take back that obvious piece of fabrication. She was outwardly calm, but inside she was a rolling mass of confusion.

"But you said...?" His brows twitched slightly.

"I know what I said," she snapped. Looking touchingly gallant with her chin lifted stubbornly, her pink hair tumbling back over her shoulders, her eyes focused on the man standing in front of her.

"Is this about custody?" he asked narrowing his eyes at her, his tone reeked of exasperation.

"This is not about anything!" she said breathlessly, hurriedly averting her eyes from him. "I'm telling you the truth," the look he flashed her made her throat closed in alarm.

"No Sakura, you're lying," his confident respond didn't surprise Sakura all that much.

She stood with much difficultly due to the sudden tenderness in the sole of her feet. Neji was by her side in that instance, helping her to stand up. She blushed like crazy. "I've got this!" she complained, pushing flat-handed against his chest. Suddenly Sakura sensed an edge to his masculinity; a sharp, slashing edge that demanded control—whether it be machine or woman—and she shuddered once, then pushed so strongly against him that he took two stumbling steps backwards, his arms flailing, his mouth open in surprise. "I said I got it," she twisted her head to the side to hide her blush.

Breathing heavily, she faced him with her head down, lips compressed, her shoulders hunched against the explosion of rage she expected from him. To her surprise he chuckled. The sound sent shivers up her spine. "You're still stubborn."

With the sudden knowledge that he was taking joy out of her disquiet her chin lifted and her eyes narrowed. Nobody made a fool out of Sakura Haruno, nobody. Not even this handsomely smug man smiling patronizingly at her.

"And you're still..." her voice trailed, throat suddenly feeling tight under his gaze.

"Which brings us back to the original question, what are we going to do about the child?" he asked soberly, looking out the window.

She sighed; there was just no way around the guy. She hadn't even gotten over that stupid kiss. Even now as he rant about the unimportant Sakura could still remember his mouth, so cool and hard against hers, so hungry, searching, touching something inside her, some urgent place that she hadn't been taken to since she last saw him, four months ago. It had been frightening to feel all that power inside her, straining against him, wanting him, feeling him straining against her, too.

She stayed rigid, staring quizzically at him, "Didn't you not hear my previous admission."

"You're a terrible liar," he returned his gaze to her face.

She took a bold step towards him; she stared up at him, her eyes frankly speculative. Green glinted out at him through the lush forest of dark lashes. "Why are you so intent on making me say that you fathered my child?"

She was suddenly, acutely aware of his nearness. Her senses felt swamped with in scent, with fresh clarity on his skin, the luscious head of dark brown velvety hair. How easy it would be to tilt her chin to allow her access to his sweetly humorous mouth. It seemed as though the world had ceased to exist outside this prim room, a room suddenly charged with his sensual presence. She still couldn't figure out why she found his aura so compelling. It wasn't just the pregnancy hormones; she was genuinely drawn to him. For some reason just being in his presence or even by allowing him to cross her mind she felt weak. His infectious ambience was something she doubts that she'd ever be immune to. It almost felt like her Sasuke obsession all over again.

Neji looked away from her and back out the window again. His voice was hushed and grave. "Don't try another one of those stunts again," he told her referring to the kiss she had inaugurated earlier.

It took a moment for Sakura to register his words. "What?"

"Don't try to kiss me again."

"I wasn't going to kiss you," she said, more trying to convince herself rather than him.

"Yes you were."

"How do you know you weren't going to kiss me?" she smirked when a hint of pink grazed his cheeks.

"I wouldn't," she got have sworn that he squirmed.

"But you did once, actually you did many times before," she grinned and attempted to touch him but he shivered and she retreated her hands. "There's no need to be so cold," she said softly.

She gave a closemouthed sound of longing, of need when his hand involuntarily brushed her cheek and it was then that his control unravelled. He tipped her chin up and grabbed a fistful of her hair as he pulled her closer, wanting to luxuriate in its weight and scent. Their faces drew closer and their lips met again, gentler this time, Sakura's eyes fluttered closed. She sighed into his mouth when that sense of freedom surged throughout her veins once more. Her heart thumped like drums in her chest. Never had she felt so vulnerable. His hand moved over her body, caressing it with a heat that made her own hands move in an indistinguishable delightful, yielding constraint. She moaned when she felt him against her, hands tracing her spine, smoothed her hips. She was unable to contain all the sensations ripping through her body, her desire escalated with fresh awareness of having him so close and so willingly participating.

She brought her fingers to the corners of his mouth so that she could feel it against hers, trying to capture the mystery of how perfectly it fit over hers. He brought her up against him with a sudden surprising force. She gave a little sound when her swollen abdomen bumped into his hard body.

They both pulled away, trying to regain their breath. Neji was the first to turn away. "I'm sorry," he muttered obvious irritated with himself. He was after all engaged. And this pinkette was not making it any easier for him to deal with his uncle's decision.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the unspoken word died in her throat. It was pointless.

Just then the doors burst open stirring up the stifling muteness that had descended on them once more, to reveal a tall man with sparked gold locks for hair, dancing crystalline blue eyes and a wide, pearly white grin. "Naruto Uzumaki is in the building!" he announced, Neji grimaced at this and Sakura almost snickered at the cute little annoyed expression on his face.

"Naruto-kun, you're home," Sakura said, forging a smile; which didn't go unnoticed by Neji.

Naruto's lips curled in a half-smile when he caught sight of Neji, "Sakura-chan, who's this?" he asked, obviously fascinated by the presence of another male in Sakura's apartment. She blushed under his very knowing gaze and his grin widen. She hurriedly rush over to his side and laced her arm in his, planting a kiss on his cheeks, mindful of the very observant man whom she could feel boring holes in her back under his intense gaze.

"Welcome home honey," she said grinning at him, carefully watching Neji's reaction through the corner of her eye.

Naruto flushed, trying to peel Sakura off his arm, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. "Are you okay Sakura-chan?" he laughed.

Neji raised an eyebrow at the eerie couple and twisted his mouth in a smirk. "Sakura you haven't answered my question."

The loud blonde blinked a few times then asked who Neji was again. There was a minor glaring struggle between both males, before Sakura nervously stepped in, introducing a clueless Naruto as her boyfriend and Neji as an old friend. Both looked at her questioningly then resumed glaring daggers at each other. Neji folded his arms and turned his head away from Naruto with an arrogant grunt with an expression that spelt out that he was the more superior of the two. Obviously not fazed by the Hyuuga's hostility Naruto stuck his tongue out at Neji then turned to give Sakura a concerned frown when her previous admission got the chance to finally sink in.

"Boyfriend?" Naruto asked loudly, scratching his head as though trying to remember when he and Sakura started this alleged relationship. Somewhere along the line he forgot when he had moved up from the position of annoying neighbour to boyfriend.

Sakura laughed nervously, swallowing hard when she met Neji's chilly gaze and knitted brows. "Oh yeah, we had gotten engaged," she said rather tight lipped; smiling pleadingly at Naruto, hoping that he'd somehow get a hint and play along. "Can't believe it slipped me," she wiped at her forehead with the back of her hand in a slightly dramatic gesture.

"Engaged?" Naruto looked at her in utter bewilderment. "Congratulations Sakura-chan!"

"You're engaged?" Neji asked not hiding his consternation.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Naruto asked, trying to recall when last he'd seen Sakura in the company of another man besides himself, Sai or Kakashi. His memory proved to be faulty today. Because he couldn't for all the ramen in the world remember when he had started courting Sakura—or when they had supposedly gotten engaged. Hell, he couldn't even remember what colour underwear he had put on this morning; so maybe he really had a serious recollection problem. He stared down at his hands trying to remember which was right from left, he screamed—he couldn't remember that either. He found himself suddenly questioning the world. Was everything he believed in a lie? _Dumbass..._

Sakura mentally slapped herself in her wide forehead. If Neji didn't pick up that she was lying by now then he was just as slow as Naruto. Nevertheless she was intent on making him think he wasn't the father, more to his benefit. She didn't want herself and or the baby to come between what could have been a beautiful beginning to Neji's life.

"Naruto," she said grinding her teeth, "You're not helping..." she sang under her breath. She smiled at Neji all the while tightening her grip on Naruto's arm out of sheer frustration. She was walking a pathless distance with this idiot. The world would come to an end before he got the message.

"Ouch Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined, "My hand hurts!"

"Is this a joke?" Neji asked seriously, staring back and forth between Sakura and Naruto as she smacks the petrified blonde across his head, obviously displeased with him for some dumb reason.

Unexpectedly Naruto linked his arms awkwardly around Sakura, "Is there a problem pretty boy?"

Sakura giggled and Neji scowled.

"Naruto-kun," Sakura warned tightening her grip on his arm. "Be nice to Neji," she smiled softly at the dark-haired male, but turned to the blonde with a monstrous glint in her eyes, "Or else..." she threatened. The rest was left unsaid and Naruto sweat dropped—he had no intensions of finding out what _or else_ was.

"So far all you'd done is made a fool out of yourself posing with this masquerader," came Neji's candid remark, he was irritated. "Are you finished yet?"

"Watch your tone with my fiancée," Naruto warned, apparently finally catching on.

Neji's lilac eyes lit up with mischief and he gave both of them a wicked smirk. "Are you telling me this clown is the father?" he asked Sakura allowing his voice to hint his astonishment.

Naruto fumed, "Shouldn't you be in a box on a shelf somewhere waiting for some unfortunate girl to come along?"

Neji completely disregarded Naruto's comment. "Is he?" he went on to ask Sakura.

She nodded dumbly.

Neji studied the two carefully then he turned to Naruto, "Should I spread word of your new engagement to Hinata or would you like to do the honours yourself?" His voice reeked with cruel delight.

"Hinata?" Sakura asked quizzically.

"His former fiancée," Neji's looked her over, "Apparently..."

Naruto scratched his head laughing nervously, "I knew you looked familiar."

**A/N: Like I said, I****'****ve been detached. I know that was confusing and partially boring. If you don****'****t understand I****'****ll explain. Sakura tried to fool Neji into thinking that Naruto fathered her child but Neji knew that Naruto was already seeing Hinata. This was not known to Sakura. Sorry if it was vague, hopes it clears up some of the uncertainty.**

**Reviews are still very much accepted.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Eight**

**A/N: Sorry about the late update. I lost this chapter and for some time I was TOO pissed off to work on another one. This has Citric Content; so if you're allergic. DO NOT READ! **

**This story is ****RATED M**** for a reason. I'm just saying lol. Consider yourselves thoroughly ****WARNED.**

It wasn't fair, a plaintive voice cried—this woman is drunk. She wasn't supposed to be provoking such mental, physical and emotional reactions from him. Her fingers caressing his neck under his hair, wasn't supposed to make goose bumps pop out on her skin. And that taunting flame in his stomach was getting close to unbearable, too, a sensation that for all its discomfort, had a strange drawing power. He had to fight it; he knew it, with any weapon he could come up with.

He twisted his head to the side in order avoid another collision between himself and the onslaught of her cherry lips but it was to no avail—she caught him anyways holding his face between her hands and opened her mouth over his sending a shock wave of pleasure through him. He squirmed when her tongue slipped into the silken interior of his mouth, ravishing his mouth with a deep intoxicating kiss.

"You do know that I can charge you for sexual harassment, right?" he asked when she had lifted her mouth away from his. His eyes widen as she licked hers lips then they curled upwards into an audacious smirk. This woman was a freak of nature, he thought incredulously.

"So can I," she giggled looking over her shoulder to where he had both his hands firmly cupping her derriere. His hands retreated so quickly Sakura could barely suppress the urge to laugh. She giggled when he squirmed and a faint pink grazed his pale cheeks. "Hold still," she commanded lightly, nevertheless he kept squirming beneath her, purposely trying to knock her off balance.

He watched as the lips hovering above his dipped towards his neck then he felt her lips on his skin—hot and moist. Subconsciously he gave barely audible groan when her teeth bit into the supple flesh. He shivered as her loose bubblegum tresses that now hung over her shoulders tickled his exposed chest.

"Get off me!" he warned wriggling beneath her. She tore her mouth away from his neck only to scorch his firm chest with ravenous, primitive kisses. Then she ventured lower... she tucked her tongue into the honeyed hollow of his navel and he quivered. Her breath was a moist vapour on her fevered skin as her tongue teased its way upward again, fondling with his manly nipples—biting and tugging at them with her teeth and he felt a matching yearning tug deep at his groin.

Almost violently, he grabbed a fistful of her pink locks and pulled up her head.

"Ouch!" she whined. She squint her eyes at the sudden throbbing in her head. "What was that for?"

"Stop that," he commanded removing his fingers from her satiny sleek pink mane. He could feel her breathe against his face reminding him of their closeness. A faint smirk played on her lips—it was the type of grin that darkened her verdant eyes the wider it got. She looked so soft, so yielding, so damn trusting... Then almost as if being compelled by some dark force of this **guilty passion** his hand took hold of her chin and his thumbs caressed her bottom lip. Her gaze moved over his face, feature by feature.

Neji found himself doing the same with her. Did any woman have such green eyes? There depth seemed to go forever. And her unusually coloured hair framed her face perfectly complimenting her skin tone—tan and clean—flawless even. Her lips were full and rosy. She was a beautiful woman, a pleasing combination of youthfulness and maturity—however little she might possess.

She bit him on his finger, jolting him out of his state of enthralment. He arched a brow when he felt his finger being suddenly engulfed by moist—warmth. She was sucking on his thumb! He mentally screamed at the disturbing image that she had forced into his thoughts. His finger recoiled and he glared softly at her while she poked his nose.

"You're so cute when you're annoyed," she giggled pinching his nose and he grimaced.

"And you're so stubborn when you're drunk. Now get off me!" he ushered but again, it was in vain.

"This would have been a lot easier if I had a pair of handcuffs," she teased threading her fingers in his dark hair.

He chuckled; a sound which caused even the air to vibrate with its richness. "And an aphrodisiac beverage," he smirked; it didn't quite reach his eyes.

She sat up and grinned at him. "That's not necessary, I've already got all the cooperation that I need," she spitefully twisted her hips against his drawing his attention where he was throbbing against her thigh. He winced at the insinuation of her words and she chortled at the rush of blood that suddenly went to his pale cheeks.

"Get off me!" he pushed her knocking her off balance but Sakura's response was swift. She brought both of them down onto the carpeted floor with a mild thud—she lying on her back and him leaning over her. Their eyes met, and then locked—hypnotized. In that instance all train of thought seemed to have been mythical. Thinking had seized.

An eerie, almost tangible silence engulfed them. Heartbeats racing, pulse racing, breaths ragged then simultaneously their mouths moved towards each other. It was an urgent, ravenous, ferocious kiss. His tongue was hot in her mouth, but no hotter than her entire body was becoming. Waves of heat raised her temperature, increased again by his hand that went around her bra to cover her firm, ripe breast. He cupped it, played with it, gently squeezing its under–surface. Then his hand snaked into the laciness of her bra passing his palm back and forth across her bare taunt nipples.

"Oh Kami," she gasped as his touch sent a tide of primitive female sensuality roaring through her. Her arms were around his neck, her hands feverish on his back and shoulders, drawing him fiercely against her, her mouth hot and yearning under his. Their breathing was loud and raspy.

"This will end badly," he murmured as his lips came down on her, warm and searching, but hers was greedy for what he had been denying them both the past half an hour. The tip of her tongue probed gently at the corner of his mouth tasting the sweetness of his lips. His right thigh rose to rest on her legs. His hips rocked the hard masculinity of jeans against her and she felt his free hand grasp a handful of her jean–clad thigh.

He saw the tremble in her hands as she began to unbutton the remaining buttons of his shirt, and the anxious little smile that she sent him when she slid the shirt over his shoulders and he unhooked her bra—the key forgotten. Her nipples stood erect and waited for him while his mouth still held hers. Sakura moaned softly when his mouth opened around a nipple. His tongue played with it, teased it, and she gave in to the shooting pleasure he was creating. He began to gently suck, and her fingers wove into his hair as pleasure and desire intensified.

She gloried in the rippling muscles of his back as he moved over her. Then she passed her hands over his silken –hard buttock underneath his denim. Everything about him felt so good.

"I like your behind," she grinned, her lips against his ear, nibbling and sucking on the delicious lobe.

"Sakura, please don't say things like those," he murmured in a low potent growl.

Her legs went around his hip and she gulped when she felt his whole hard length against her through his pants. She opened her lips, seeking him, greedily wanting everything of him. Their tongues met in a joyful dance, a prelude to what was to come.

"We ought to stop," he lifted his mouth from hers.

She shook her head furiously. "No, don't," she pled sliding her hands down his back, her body arching towards him. "Don't stop," she said huskily, deliberately, and felt his body stiffen.

His lips hunted along her cheek then found her mouth, "You're drunk."

"But I am very capable of differentiating between want and need," she whispered. "I want you, but I need you more."

His mouth moved down her body, Sakura trembled with the aching thrill along her nerves. She was on fire with longing and, with the most intimate kiss of all, the fire leapt out of control. Her body arch into his, pleading for him, demanding him.

He gave a deep low chuckle that radiated from chest and touched her soul. "I thought I told you to stop talking like that."

She giggled, her heart threatened to thrash its way out her chest. Passion and desire were torrid, flowing through them both. There was not the slightest need to wait, to put a civilized front on something they both wanted so much—well she did. Through the fog that was her need for him, she realized she had to get control of herself. She had to slow down and think.

This was a complete stranger. Whatever she thought she felt for him wasn't real; it was the alcohol. It was screwing with her head. And at this point she wasn't quite sure that she could distinguish between reality and fantasy, wrong and right, up and down, want and need or left and right.

In an almost synchronizing, slow motion their hands reached for the other's jeans. The friction of denim against denim vanished only to be replaced by the feel of warm skin against skin. Her mouth covered his lips, her tongue busy on its path of discovery. Then he broke her teasing expedition and his mouth returned to the inner of curve of her breast while he caressed her with slow, sure strokes. His hard male hand curved gently around the feminine flare of her hip, then moved on until his fingers were cupped between the warmth of her legs.

She buckled beneath him at the surprise invasion of finger. She moaned softly as she felt the teasing probing caress. A wild, liquid pleasure went coursing through her. Feeling her sudden heat, Neji groaned in sheer male triumph. Sakura clung to him, answering his deep, demanding kisses, her body clamouring for a release that she didn't understand. She quivered with sheer sensual exhilaration when another digit found its way between where her thighs joint.

"Kami..." she gasped arching her body towards his. She stroked the hard muscle of his back, his buttocks, down to the very centre of him where his hot male flesh leaped in answer to her touch and he groaned again. Then she was whirled away into the starry night of lovers, a comet burning across the sky.

His fingers withdrew and she whimpered. The air was shocking against her uncovered body, cold and invasive, but she wanted it, as she wanted the invasion that followed. Painful and tearing. She screamed at the shock of it, digging her nails into his flesh, arching her back to an almost painful angle. Her eyes had flung open the moment the rippling pain had tore across her flesh as though someone tied both her legs to two truck and they were slowly driving away in the opposite direction!

"It hurts!" she yelped, her breathing erratic, her voice hoarse and laced with agony. She was vaguely aware of her name being whispered or the hand that ran over her forehead. Her movements were frenzied and uncontrolled as she twisted and turned beneath him—the pain was too immense.

His mouth drifted slowly over hers muting her screams, "I'm sorry." His hips drove above her a long time, and from within her pain, from its dark centre, something began to form, to open like the tight–furled bud of a rose releasing into the morning's sun. She wasn't sure of the feeling at first, at the edge of pain and then beyond discomfort. Into something else. Pulsing and growing at the heart of his body's driving caress. Expanding like the silk of balloons. Filling with heat that couldn't be denied, that couldn't be contained by the pull of the earth's gravity, until all at once, whatever had been there floated upward, soaring out of her control.

She heard her own voice, crying out as the centre released, and then Neji's mouth was over hers again, capturing the echo of the cry that shattered the stillness around them. His own release followed quickly, hot and powerful, roaring into the repository of her body like a cascade, shattering in its intensity. His body jerked under her caressing hands. Once. Twice. And then was inert. As static as their surrounding where they laid, still entwined—one.

Heartbeats slowing, breathe easing, they lay wrapped in each other's embrace. Sakura sighed out of a mixture of contentment and exhaustion then drifted off into the dreamless sleep of completion; where the only vision she had where that of white eyes—like freshly fallen snow flakes...

OoOoOoOo

The snow began lightly. It was a gentle dusting; just enough to make the lovely Konoha landscape look like fairyland, but not enough to snarl the roads and slow traffic. It twinkled down against a white sky all morning long. Sakura stayed by the window, watching the lacy flakes fall. She felt a curious but not unpleasant mixture of exhilaration. For one thing, it felt good to not be standing over a hospital bed trying to inject hyperactive kids with sedatives or hunching over a desk filled with dusty out files trying to sort out the impossible.

But she couldn't quite still the nervous resentment that she felt towards Neji's promised visit. She didn't want him around, at least not anymore—he was engaged. Just what would people think if he kept coming around? She had to admit though, that the stunt she had pulled last week—more accurately—the stunt that she had attempted to pull last week was pathetic. But how was she supposed to know that her scapegoat had actually been seeing the damn man's cousin? It was quite an unfortunate coincidence if you ask me.

It was frustrating just thinking about how complicated both their lives were going to be. Yet, at nights she would lie in her bed, every pore in her skin alive to the fact that Neji was somewhere nearby, but then reality would overshadow the fantasies and she'd fall asleep immediately. He had obviously moved on with his life; something that she has yet to do.

The doorbell chimed and she sighed, turning down the flame on her simmering pot of soup. Wiping her hands on a dish towel, she headed for the door. Finding that as she closed the distance between herself and the door, her nerves were getting jittery and her stomach wouldn't stop turning—she actually felt nauseous. Silently she scolded herself before strangely sweaty palms turned the door knob.

"Neji," she greeted in a voice that didn't quite seem like hers.

His ivory orbs held her minty gaze and she caught her breath. "Sakura," he returned casually.

There was a brief moment of stillness, realizing that she was the cause of it she went florid. "Well come on in," she offered shakily.

Reeling from his nonchalance, Sakura unconsciously led the way to the kitchen. Neji trailed behind Sakura silently and she was sort of confused and unsteady. His manner was brusque, but she had expected that. They entered her bright open kitchen where air was laced with the delicious aroma coming from her simmering pot on a burner and she could have sworn that she heard Neji's loud intake of breathe.

She watched as he sat down into a seat at the refectory table and stared up at her. A shade of pink grazed her cheeks instantly when it finally dawned on her, just how outrageous her attire was—her hair was caught in a messy ponytail and she was dressed in a faded pink flannel shirt that hung all the way down to the mid thigh, a pair of cotton boy shorts and a dish towel slung over her shoulders. Before his arrival she had felt completely at ease, but under his careful scrutiny, she just felt agitated.

Regardless of herself Sakura's mouth twisted in a wry smile, "I can change if you want."

Almost of if he was uncomfortable, he shifted in his seat and turned his gaze somewhere else. He shook his head lightly. "That's not necessary," he said curtly.

She started to fidget with the dish towel on her shoulders as the insufferable silence engulfed then once more. "W–would y–you l–like s–some c–coffee?" she offered, quite annoyed with herself for being so jumpy in his presence.

He indicated with a simply nod of his dark head. Content with finally finding something to do other than stand there watching him sit there Sakura made her way to the counter where she filled a glass carafe with water from the sink and proceeded to make the coffee. He just sat there watching her, stirring up uncomfortable feelings she tried to dispel with meaningless conversation while searching for the right argument.

"We can sit on the porch," she said turning away from her task to look at him. There was a deadpan expression on his face then she suddenly remembered the snow outside and rolled her eyes inwardly at her stupidity. Before she had the chance to take back her offer Neji spoke.

"The kitchen is fine," he said, watching her wearily.

She had the strange feeling that he had refused because the glider on her porch would be a little too romantic for the conversation they were about to have. While the coffee was brewing, Sakura reached for a towel to dry her hands, taking her time over the task, thinking hard. Then she tossed the towel aside and joined him at the table, taking the seat across from him. She took a deep preparatory breath.

"Why did you want see me tonight?" she asked before she could stop herself.

The noise from the electric coffee maker didn't give him the chance to answer. She stifled a giggle at the irritated look he sent in the direction of the noisy kitchen appliance. Then she got up to pour them each a mug of coffee. Feeling as though coffee was not enough she rampaged through her refrigerator when she stumbled upon a third of a strawberry cheese cake. She cut them both generous slices and grinned at the quizzical look that he gave her when she placed the plate in front of him.

"Strawberry cheese cake," she informed him as she sweetened her coffee.

"I don't eat sweets," he told her flatly then took a sip of the warm bitter contain of his mug. Apparently he didn't like any addictives in his coffee, he preferred it black. Silence enfolded then again until he eyed her curiously, "I don't think you're supposed to be drinking caffeine."

For some strange reason her cheeks stung at what he was insinuating. "It doesn't affect the child in anyway Neji."

"And this strawberry cheesecake junk can't be good either," he pushed his plate aside and arched an eyebrow at her.

Sakura hesitated with her fork halfway to her mouth to shoot him a telling look. She completed the motion, finishing off the last bite of cheesecake, and put down her fork. A tiny bit of strawberry glaze was left on her lips. "My doctor said that there's—"

"You've got something on your..." he pointed out.

"—nothing wrong with eating a little sweet..." her voice trailed then she flushed attempting to rescue the tiny bit of cake with a flick of her tongue. Neji watched, slightly amused. A muted chuckled drew Sakura's eyes to his face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"You missed it," he said evenly.

She rolled her eyes and a sigh escaped her; a smile curved her lips and she wiped at her mouth with the back of her palms. "Got it?" she asked and he nodded. She gave a wry smile and propped her cheek on one hand. The other lay flat on the table between them.

"I haven't told my uncle," he said as though suddenly impatient to bring up the subject that they had been so careful to avoid.

"I keep telling you to forget it," she said dryly.

"Why would you do that?" he asked. "Why would you lie?"

She was silent for a minute. Then she frowned, "This was my fault, you're already engaged — I'm just giving you an easy way out."

Subconsciously his hands covered hers on the table. She sat still for his lengthy study. At last her spoke. "This is our mistake," he said simply. "I can't allow you to pay for it on your own."

"But I don't want to ruin your life," she said softly looking away.

His fingers tightened. "My life is already ruined."

She gave him a sceptical glance then pulled her hand from under the weight of his. "You ought to choose your words carefully," she grated. He accepted her withdrawal and linked his fingers then leaned forward.

"I didn't mean it like that," he told her.

She gave a dry laugh, "Then how did you mean it?"

Suddenly the irritation broke through his carefully maintained demeanour. His mouth twisted with it, sending an answering agony through her. "Are you trying to put words in my mouth?"

"Why are you here?" her voice had taken on the hard edge of steel.

If he was surprised by her directness, he didn't show it by more than a raised eyebrow. "You're carrying my child; I think I have the right to stop by anytime I feel like it."

She muttered a word that he didn't hear, then her voice rose, "You're so quick to claim what is not yours," she spat gingerly.

"The fact that you are nearing five months and you were a—"

"Virgin?" she asked.

"—Speaks for itself," he told her pointedly.

"That doesn't prove a thing Neji."

"But a DNA test will," he watched the slight tremble of her bottom lip and smirked. "When are you going to stop lying Sakura?"

Neji watched her pupils expand, effectively darkening her eyes. "I don't want to complicate anything."

"You keep forgetting that this isn't about you."

His words cut deep. Her eyes were dry, but tears were behind them, ready to break free. "This is about my child," she emphasized the possessive pronoun in her sentence. "I don't want him or her to be a burden to you. I can't bear the thought of my child being a liability to anyone."

"This is our child," he corrected, but there wasn't the slight crack in that stoic mask of his. There was nothing to read from his expression.

"Won't your fiancée..." she swore that the words tasted bitter on her tongue. "...have a problem with this?" she asked referring to relationship between him, herself and their unborned child. "I imagine that she won't be too pleased about having you hang around another woman," she laughed a little.

She saw the trembling hand, heard the slight crack in his voice and felt like a heel. She watched as he struggled to regain control over whatever it was that haunted him. Then he looked at her and spoke. "That's why I'm taking full custody of the child."

**A/N: I'm extremely sorry about the late update. If I get 10 reviews I'll update quickly. Thanks for reading. If the lemon sucked... well it's because I don't know much about those stuff. I'm only 16****—****I wrote based on what I've heard. So do not flame me or I will cry. I absolutely love this pairing by the way.**

**Don't forget to drop suggestions. Happy New Year!**

**Please Review, I am in desperate need of some feedbacks to keep me the motivated****.**** Thanks for the previous ones too. 3**


	9. Chapter 9

**Guilty Passion **

**Chapter Nine**

**A/N: Thank you for the many reviews. Keep them coming and I'll keep updating. Sorry about the late update but I had exams and as much as it pains me to say, school comes first. Hope you understand :) 10 or more reviews earn you another update. **

**Updates will only come if and when I've acquired 10 or more reviews.**

Jaded eyes locked in a mixture of bewilderment and indignation with ivory ones. "What?" she asked, or rather—yelled. Clenching her fist on the table, she snarled at the stoic male; making it quite obvious what she thought of his preposterous intentions. Then he had the audacity to ask her if he had stuttered. She stood, "I want you to leave," she said calmly, wondering what on earth could possibly be going on in that twisted mind of his—because it obviously wasn't thinking—full custody, of whose child? Most definitely not the one she was carrying.

He arched an eyebrow at her then shifted his gaze to nothing in particular.

She ran a hand through her already loose pink tresses and glared at the handsome lad in front of her. The urge to reacquaint her fist with his perfectly chiselled jawbones was so strong that she had to clasp both her hands together. "You can't be serious," the rosette forged a chuckle. His gaze fell upon her once more but instead of flushing she frowned. "You can't do that," she told him firmly.

"Apparently I can," he said setting his coffee mug down. His smooth velvety baritone suddenly sounded like the screeching of tires—not in literal sense. "In court."

On stumbling upon the seriousness in those white orbs, her hands went around her swollen abdomen protectively. "Please leave."

He sighed but there was no movement on his part or any indication that he intended on acknowledging her command though it was more of a plea on her part. "My uncle—"

"I don't give a fuck about your uncle!" she fumed, slamming her fist on the wooden surface of the table. Metal clinked against glass creating a tumultuous strain equivalent to the internal uproar Sakura was currently suffering from. "You can't just pop up in my life declaring ownership over a child for whom you made it quite obvious that you didn't even want."

"—will not take lightly to this situation."

"If you know what's best for you Neji Hyuuga..." she grated. "... You'll leave immediately before my meagre supply of patience runs out on you." Her voice held an obvious deadly menace to it but the dark haired male remained unfazed. Her hand snaked around her coffee mug and she gripped unto it for dear sanity. And that sober expression swimming in those lilac pools of his didn't ease the rash inclination that she felt to allow herself to be drifted away by the anger tides flooding her existence—patience is a virtue, she attempted to compose herself. But she's Sakura Haruno; no fucking cliché statement was going prevent this imminent tsunami.

"It's the only rational way to deal with this situation," he stated flatly.

"So is stuffing this mug up where a doctor has to check for your prostate," she countered grimly.

A faint smirk played on the corner of his thin lips but it only lingered long enough for her to wonder if it was a teasing gesture or that of triumph. "You have a peculiar sense of humour." Whether he was mocking or not, his voice surely didn't betray anything.

"I was dead serious."

"It shouldn't take long to get the paper work done given that you offer very little to no resistance," never the type to beat around the bush; he went brusquely back to the topic. "I know—"

"You don't listen well do you?" she snapped, cutting him off. "I will not hand my child over to you and your slu...snobby fiancée."

"—that my actions will raised many speculations amongst the family," he took a sip from his mug and watched the unsteady twitch of her pink brows. Unknown to him she was actually praying for the mug to explode in his charming visage. She wouldn't mind inflicting a few scratches here and there on his flawless skin, but what she really wanted was to fracture was that oversized ego of his.

There was the sound of mild shuffling and a strangled noise escaped the pinkette's lips, then the glass mug was sent hurdling in the air. Neji who seemed to have anticipated Sakura's next move dodged the incoming object—however narrowly he did. The glass smashed against the tile shattering the fragile silence, startling even the attacker herself.

The flash in Neji's eyes was like the sun reflected on ice. Unexpectedly he made a sound that was almost a sigh, "I'll let you know when the court date is," he announced getting up to take his leave. The saucer followed the mug's previous route and met a gruesome theatrical end against the concrete wall.

"Get out of my house Hyuuga," she grimaced. "And do not return." Her hands were about to reach for his mug when a sharp throbbing sensation in her stomach sent her hands closing around her abdomen then she froze and a muffled sound escaped her throat, almost sounding like a whimper.

"What's wrong?" came Neji's quick response. He was beside her in an instance holding her by her shoulders with a strained mien flaunting on his usually stoic facade. The tight expression on her face didn't ease the sudden panicky feeling consuming him. He felt disturbed—Hyuugas don't panic. "Sakura?" he shook her lightly. "What is it?" he demanded, because patience and comfort weren't things he was taught to have or offer.

Her eyes softened as she looked up at him then a sincere smile crept unto her rosy lips, "The baby just kicked," she announced with heightened glee. Unexpectedly she took his palm and linked it to the pulsing area of her swollen abdomen. Mentally he gaped.

For a minute or two Neji was rendered into a state of reticence. There was really a baby in there, his baby—kicking, healthy and alive. He watched in an eerie rapture as Sakura's face lit up and she giggled with every kick she felt. In fact she looked somewhat at peace, content even; nothing like she did awhile ago, as though she was capable of committing a homicide.

The picture that they painted was strikingly homey—a pregnant woman and her husband feeling their child's first kick—a perfect portrait, that of a peaceful and romantic nature. But he didn't want to think of that child as his, living, or even as an inanimate object. He couldn't, he shouldn't and he wouldn't. And the very prospect of Sakura as his wife chilled him to his bones. His uncle would most certainly behead him if he ever knew that the thought had crossed his nephew's mind once or twice. It would be the wrong thing to do for all the right reasons but... he was too selfish and arrogant to sacrifice his happiness for someone else's. Ironically he's doing the exact same thing in his relationship with his uncle.

Astronauts in space could see that the Hyuugas were prejudice and someone of Sakura's social status would not even be given the slightest thought of considered acceptance. As for the child, there's going to be a shit load of consequences he knew that he would just have to face. But his uncle would eventually come around, after all, the child would have the Hyuuga blood running through its vein and that's all that really mattered—at least to Hiashi.

Deep down he knew that he would always appreciate this moment. The feel of her warm hands covering his as he relished the rhythmic phenomenon and the soft smile that played on her thin lips as she looked up at him. He'd never forget the warmth in those emerald eyes; a warmth that seemed to have leaped from her eyes into his heart. Neji's lips twitched since that was the furthest he ever got towards cracking a smile.

"He's a very active one isn't he?" Sakura chortled tilting her face to study his changing countenance. Regardless of his grunt she beamed at him. "I think he's going to be a martial artist," she added. His hand retreated so fiercely Sakura couldn't prevent herself from wincing.

"That's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard," he commented straightening out obscure creases in his shirt. Back to reality, he snapped mentally then found himself deflecting a blow that was meant to have connected with the side of his forehead. "What—?"

Feverish verdant orbs glowered at the ivory ones, "Weren't you leaving?" she asked pointing to the door. Then she sighed, disregarding his presence she went to tend to her soup on the stove occasionally looking over her shoulders to see if he was gone. But the damn bastard stood rooted on his spot silently watching her with keen, collected chalky eyes.

"I don't have much of a say in this Sakura," Neji seemed to have been saying.

"Don't ruin my night anymore than you have," she dismissed him. "It's almost dinner time; I'd like to keep my appetite."

"I can't—"

"The door's that way Neji," she pointed with one hand while the other stirred the soup. Oh Kami please give me the strength not to pulverize this arrogant man, she prayed silently.

Conversations at this point were meaningless, one would think. He wants the child—she says over her dead body and that was all there was to it. A blind man would be able to see that Neji was being quite unrealistic for a man who just discovered that he had a child. Don't you think full custody is going a little too far? Well newsflash Hyuuga, she's not going to let that happen or her name isn't Sakura fucking Haruno.

"I'll be in touch," with that said he exited the kitchen and it was not until she heard the front door slam then she took out her frustration on the unfortunate kitchen tools and utensils. She broke, tore, kicked, smashed, and punched anything unlucky enough to be in her immediate reach. Then finally she flung her head into her palms and sobbed. But nothing she did could quench the rage.

OoOoOoOo

Apprehensive cerulean and chocolate eyes observed the rosette as she toyed with the contents of her plate. She sighed; she frowned and gripped the fork until her knuckles went pallid. But she didn't breathe a word as to indicate why she was sulking and allowing a perfectly good piece of strawberry cheese cake go to waste—after all it is her favourite.

The wearer of the pair of captivating azure eyes blew a strand of blonde hair from her unearthly beautiful visage and regarded her despondent friend with an anxious expression and a warm smile. All of which seemed to have no effect on the pink-haired lass. Ino rolled her eyes and decided to do what she did best—annoy the shit out of people until she got answers.

"If I knew lunch was going to be this gloomy I would have booked us a table in a nearby cemetery," Tenten mumbled.

"I agree," Ino gave out. "Forehead can you postpone the moodiness until we have finished having lunch?" Ino asked sweetly, though it was clear that she was annoyed.

Looking up from her plate Sakura flaunted a very noticeable plastic smile, "Sorry."

"Like hell you better be," the honey haired girl muttered playfully.

Sakura's gaze darkened and a frown manifested on her brows but still... no words came to account for her sulky demeanour.

"I think it is pre-natal depression," Tenten offered taking a noisy sip from her drink. Sakura's spine went rigid when she met the curiosity that shone in those auburn eyes of Tenten. Yup, an awkward question was about to pop up. "Are you having boy trouble Sakura?"

Ino was the first to react letting out a loud titter and slamming her hands against the table. "She's a pregnant woman Tenten; she couldn't possibly be having boy troubles; what's causing the depression is her lack thereof."

A few months ago Sakura could have proudly said that she was a drama-deficient but after the events that played out over the last couple of months she's now practically a walking Broadway production. For five months her child had a nameless father, now that he was in the picture he wanted to erase Sakura out of it. And the fact that he was a member of what appeared to be a powerful and wealthy family made it easier for him to have his own way.

It is simply inhumane for a woman to endure nine months of insanity and go home empty-handed. Before she allowed such a thing to happen she'd pack up her things and seek settlement in a bizarre foreign country—never to return. He assumes that it's the best thing for the child, but from what she gathered he was just acting out of fear of his uncle. A small part of her felt for him, she pitied the callous brute that he turned out to be. She pitied the fact that he was such a coward. But she didn't care about family issues; she was not going to make him use their child as some plea-bargain for his uncle's and alleged fiancée's acceptance. At least that's what it looked like he's plotting from her point of view.

"What is that suppose to mean pig?" Sakura asked folding her arms.

"Read between the lines forehead," she sang nudging Tenten's arm playfully, but the brunette scoffed then sent the pinkette an apologetic smile, probably mocking her pregnant colleague in her thoughts. Why shouldn't she laugh? Sakura's a living joke. With a failing career and a personal life which could easily be mistaken for a soap opera one would think that she was cursed.

"Why do you look so flustered?" Ino suddenly demanded jolting Sakura out of her thoughts. "Are you alright?"

"Never better," Sakura grinned though her voice lacked conviction, even to herself. Ino eyed her suspiciously, it was obvious that she didn't buy it but for the sake of a peaceful lunch break she kept her mouth shut.

"How's Sasuke doing?" Ino asked Tenten suddenly, as if she didn't know that it was a sensitive topic to bring up when Sakura was around. The damn bitch's probably being her vindictive self.

"I don't think we should be talking about this right now Ino," Tenten scold Ino causing Sakura to sulk even more, Tenten wasn't just saying that out of concern—it was more out of pity. Why must everybody take her for such a weakling?

She had to agree that Sasuke related arguments always did tend to stir up emotional conflicts but there were more important things in the world, such as her life, her child... Neji. She gritted her teeth at the unscrupulous shift of her thoughts, that pearly eyed man was the root of all her problems; in fact he was the problem itself!

"It's okay," Sakura assured softly. "Just pretend that I'm not here," she suggested. Both girls sent blank looks in her direction and were momentarily rendered into a state of reticence.

"Why ever would you want us to do that forehead?" Ino asked in the phoney accent that she always used whenever she mocked someone.

"It's not like you haven't been doing that since we first came in here," Sakura countered.

"Well that's because all you've been doing since we came here is sigh and sulk," Tenten pointed out.

"Yeah," Ino agreed. "That's not a very healthy way of communicating Sakura."

Jamming the fork into her mouth the rosette scowled, "Well... forgive me for having a lot on my mind," she snarled.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything," Tenten said softly patting her back gently. Sakura shrugged her shoulders, hinting her annoyance with the unnecessary trespassing of her personal space.

"You wouldn't understand," she mumbled.

"Try me," Tenten urged.

Seemingly uninterested by whatever Sakura and Tenten were talking about or rather what they intended to talk about, Ino ordered another drink and popped out her phone. To any onlookers it would appear that she was in the middle of a really interesting texting session with a girlfriend, but the other occupants at the table knew that she was just using it as a mirror to decide from which angle she looked better in the restaurant lightening. From the corner of her eyes she watched wordlessly as the anticipated altercation between the other two started to unfold.

"I don't want to talk about it, at least not with you," Sakura rolled her eyes.

"What's that suppose the mean?" Tenten asked, from the exasperated look on her face it was evident that she was offended by Sakura's constant bitching on her.

"It means Tenten..." Ino could have sworn that she tasted the bitterness in the way Sakura had said Tenten's name. "... that I don't think you'd be genuinely concerned about anything that I'm facing."

The brunette blinked continuously.

"Your pity isn't out of genuine concerned it's more out of guilt," Sakura gripped her fork.

The argument was heading down the wrong path and Sakura for once couldn't tell if it was pregnancy hormones, something that she had bottled up inside her or mere pressure that brought on the feeling that Tenten had somehow betrayed her.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about Sasuke?" Ino decided to step in, she had to stand up for Tenten since it was clear that the said girl was too modest to do so for herself. Ironically the role of referee in this never-ending fight over a guy who was just too cool to care had gone to Ino. Apparently Tenten had resigned and has now decided to be a contender.

"Sasuke made his choice," Sakura mumbled. "I got over it Tenten, it's time you acknowledged the fact that I don't need your pity."

"Sakura, I had no idea that you felt that way I—"

"Cliché..."

"—never intended to come off as me seeing you as a pity-party."

It's quite ironic really—the tale of Sasuke and Tenten, but her mind's in too much of a daze for recollection. The fact still remains that no matter what she tried, she'll never get over the fact that the man of her dreams—as corny as the title might seem—practically rejected her for a best friend who hadn't even showed interest in him until he started hinting his. But if she could convince herself that she wasn't still in love with Uchiha Sasuke, then maybe she could convince herself that Hyuuga Neji was a mere apparition and that life was all just an outdated nightmare.

A deafening silence took over their table like a plague. They stared at each other for ponderous seconds as though waiting for answers to wordless questions.

"He wants full custody of the child," Sakura blurted out before she had the chance to stop herself. The strain was insufferable at this point and she feared that if she didn't let it all out, tomorrow morning they'd find her apartment covered in yellow tapes with her corpse hanging from the roof.

"What?" they asked simultaneously. Ino's eyes widen in understanding, Tenten however was beyond confused, after all she had been fed a bogus story. Though she did however try her best to comprehend what she could of Sakura's obvious unfortunate predication.

"When did he? Where did he? What did he?" Ino went off into her questioning rampage.

But she had no intention of going through any details she just wanted to get her head clear. "He's going to take my child away," she repeated throwing her face into her palms. "He wasn't even remorseful about it."

"He can't do that," Ino yelled. "That's absurd!"

Her head throbbed from the voluntary hold up of tears, but she didn't want to cry. She wanted to scream until she was hoarse and the prospect of strangling Hyuuga Neji until he lost the privilege to breathe the next time their paths crosses was looking more and more appealing the angrier she got.

The familiar throbbing sensation was back and instinctively Sakura's arms went around her middle—the baby was kicking. "He's kicking again," she announced wiping her nose with the back of her right palm. Her heart ached at the memory of last night when they had both been there to witness their miracle. The feel of his warm hands on hers and warm breath playing on her skin, not to mention the look that he had sent her, while she couldn't quite puts words as to what it was truly saying it was absolutely heart stopping. For the first time in her life she felt like she was a part of something for the few seconds that it lasted. To her experiencing their child's first kick together was like a dream which was made into a reality but to him she doubted that it meant more than an obligation towards his penance.

"Again?" Tenten enquired as she went to Sakura's side of the table to experience the pulsing miracle for herself. The brunette giggled at the feel of the baby moving inside of her friend. It was truly extraordinary.

"He gave his first kick last night..." Sakura sniffed. "...While we were having an argument."

Ino looked taken aback, "Wait a minute Sakura," she demanded. "He was at your house last night?" she asked incredulously.

The pinkette nodded.

"He who?" Tenten asked while easing up from her stooping position where she had been poking Sakura's polyester-clad tummy.

Before Sakura got the chance to formulate an answer her cell phone went off signalling the end of their lunch break. Cursing she began to gather her belongings. "We have to get back to the hospital Tenten, talk to you later."

The chocolate eyed female pouted and for some reason Sakura was sorely tempted to sit back down and tell her the truth. Silently the rosette wondered if such trickery worked on the almighty Uchiha. Surely Tenten had to sport more than just puppy dog eyes and childish pouts to be the victor during those sometimes insufferable arguments with Sasuke.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that he came to your house forehead, how did he find you?" Ino enquired.

"It's a long story Ino, I'll tell you some other time," Sakura sighed.

Ino was about to start some shit then luckily they were interrupted by the voice of a fourth party.

"Miss Yamanaka I noticed that you are leaving and will not be able to stay for dessert, would you like me to box up your Black Forest cake slices?" the waiter asked when he came to set down the orders and noticed that the party was already clearing out.

"That would be nice thank you," the blonde answered casually. Sakura and Tenten stared at Ino questioningly who smirked at them. "What?" she asked or rather giggled.

"Miss Yamanaka?" Sakura mocked. "Since when are they so formal in here?"

A confident smile crept upon the pink lips of the golden haired woman as she regarded her colleagues, for a moment or two she looked as though she was contemplating on whether or not she should say what was hanging for the tip of her tongue. To Sakura's everlasting bewilderment and to Tenten's indifference, Ino decided against the latter. "I guess it's one of the many props of being engaged to Neji Hyuuga—everyone addresses you in a such formal manner."

**A/N: I'll leave it at that. Another cliffy... sorry it wasn't intentional. This one isn't as bad as the last one though. Remember updates will and only comes after the Tenth review. But I have exams until June so I won't be updating quickly. I know some of you are anti-sasuten and well... it's rather unfortunate that I happen to be the ultimate sasuten/nejisaku fan. I hope that doesn't stop you from reading Guilty Passion though.**

**I know that this chapter was rather uneventful and most of you didn't expect that ending. I tend to do things like this. I hate being predictable so just don't be too quick to jump to conclusion when reading this lol. I love you all and sorry for the outrageously long wait and crappy chapter. But I had to post something.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Ten**

**A/N: I am completely blown away by the number of reviews, thank you so much. When I checked my email I was in awe. At the last a/n there's an apology as well as an explanation as to why I had neglected fanfiction for awhile. I am extremely sorry, but school has kept me busy. I'm on summer break now so updates WILL come weekly or every other week given that I do get 10 or more reviews Lol****.**

"Neji Hyuuga?" Sakura choked. Her stomach contracted and didn't relax. Unconsciously she heaved a whimper of distress and grabbed on to Tenten's arm as if she were a life preserver. "Hyuuga Neji?"

Ino looked at her oddly. "Hyuuga Neji, Neji Hyuuga, however you choose to put it," she said through a forced smile.

Tenten caught sight of the panicky flutter of Sakura's pulse at the side of her throat and regarded her discreetly. She seemed to stiffen and melt a step towards her. Sakura's fingers clamped on her arm and Tenten looked down at it then at her with a frown. "Sakura?" she whispered.

"Tall, dark-haired, handsome...?" she asked with a lopsided smile. "Hyuuga Neji..." she sank towards the floor.

It was a brilliantly executed swoon. A sway, a wrist to the forehead, blinking, the flutter of eyelashes, then her legs gave way and she surrendered to gravity and the mercy of Tenten's reflexes. Spurred by her unforeseen black–out, Tenten and Ino tried to collect and concentrate her weight into a manageable bundle.

"Somebody call an ambulance!" Tenten shrieked hysterically. She scarcely heard the commotion that followed; her heart pounded as if it would jump out of her chest. "Sakura," she shook an ashen unconscious Sakura frantically, but it was to no avail.

"Call an ambulance!" Ino scowled at the gawking spectators. "Fuck," she muttered when they had settled Sakura on the floor.

"What is it?" Tenten asked cradling the rosette's head in her lap while fanning her with the restaurant's menu.

In growing horror Ino looked up from where she knelt inspecting Sakura and spoke, around the panic collected in her throat "I can't get a pulse."

OoOoOoOo

Neji decided to brew coffee first in hopes that a strong shot of caffeine would clear his head and improve his mood. He didn't question the fact that his steady concern for their current situation had jumped straight to annoyance the minute he felt the child kicking last night. Still burned into his vision was the image of a pair of emerald eyes set in a flushed oval face. Last night he had just stood there, staring at her...feeling reason and will abandoning him...caught hard in the between profound bliss and nonchalance.

He froze in the middle of drawing a breath at the memory of how she had gasped his hand and situated it on her throbbing abdomen forcing him to acknowledge the life that they had created. The warmth of her hand over his—the weight of his worry. She had smiled at him—an unnerving smile that rode his conscience and maximized the level of guilt he felt. He had never felt such volcanic fury, despair, or guilt in his entire life, especially not at the same time.

Instead of fetching his mug, he turned on the cold water tap in the sink and stood there watching the rapid flow; thinking about not thinking. When Kako, the housekeeper walked in the kitchen, she was startled to find him standing and glaring at the running tap.

"Sir Hyuuga?" she said in an incredulous voice, the drowsiness going out of her face as she shot an accusing glance in his direction. Turning off the tap, Kako switched on the electric kettle and spooned instant coffee granules into a mug, watching Neji observantly. "Don't you have work tomorrow," she added drily, then she looked at the kitchen clock, pulling a face. "Or rather, today! It's almost two in the morning."

"No cream, no sugar," he told her when she went to retrieve his mug from the cupboard.

While the coffeemaker grumbled she turned to study the slightly disturbed face of the Hyuuga heir. He glanced back at her, looked away then swore under his breath. "Is something the matter?"

"No," he answered tersely.

Kako poured the boiling water into the mug, stirred it and handed it to him, "Then stop frowning, you'll spoil that pretty face of yours."

He scoffed at her playful teasing, irritated by the fact that she reminded him so much of the woman he was so desperately trying to flush out of his system. "Has my uncle returned?" he asked, recalling that his uncle had been called to an emergency at the hospital around noon and hadn't been able to make it to dinner.

"He came in at around eleven and retired to his chambers," she informed him. "Tired but content."

"How's working at the hospital going to prove to the government that he's capable of managing ownership?" he asked himself rather than Kako. Then he addressed her. "In my opinion they should welcome the prospect of privatization given the amount of revenue that will be generated from establishing a place in the private sector for the hospital."

"Spoken like a true Hyuuga," Kako commented, while it wasn't a form of praise it was by no means an insult. "Your uncle said the same thing."

"I suppose it's just a test to see if Hiashi is willing to endure a little servitude in order to acquire ownership—a test to prove that the medical well-being of the people is a priority. While he's not one to go back on his word... we both know that this little investment is just another ego boost."

"I think it's a wonderful thing your uncle is doing."

"Don't forget that the chief objective of investing in any business is to make a profit, therefore medical care will be more expensive and jobs will be lost in order to facilitate the newly formed profit-driven hospital. How's that benefiting anyone, but this family?" he asked pointedly then drained the last of his coffee.

"It seems that you and your uncle have very different views on this matter," she declared taking his empty mug to the sink where she washed it and replaced it at its respective place in the cupboard. "But I think the hospital couldn't have been placed in more capable hands."

"My uncle and I have very different views on almost every topic."

"Except women," Kako supplied with a suggestive grin. "Hyuuga men like them tall, slim and blonde," she teased, seemingly unaware of Neji's murderous glare boring more than just holes in her back. "Congratulations on the engagement, Temari no Sabaku is an excellent choice."

"Save the praise for my uncle," he grated; sarcasm stained his words—forbidding and peeved. "After all it was his decision to make, since he'll be the one spending the rest of his life with the damn woman."

His law career was just taking off, he was earning top dollars and he had an inheritance that could take him through several lifetimes—his life was virtually complete. What on earth would he do with a wife? He had sat atop the matrimonial fence for three long years, unable to surrender to the expectation that he must marry and give up the little independence his position in his family allowed him... all because of a woman. Happiness was the one thing that for all his wealth and privilege, he had never had. While he wasn't happy, he was comfortable and that was enough for him.

"You don't like Temari?" she asked turning around to face him.

"I would've liked her, if I'd been the one to choose her myself," that he doubted. "Don't get me wrong..." his breath caught in his throat. He blinked a countless number of times, subconsciously rubbing his eyes but the image that lay before him was no apparition. It's strange how he hadn't noticed before...

"What is it?" she asked quietly searching him.

His gaze locked awkwardly with hers, searching her brilliant green orbs, eyes much like Sakura's—that warm, swirling green drew the heat from his temper. Then there was that head of golden tresses; long, shiny, silky—locks just like Temari's. Her frown and that childish roll of eyes were identical that of an annoyed Sakura. The slight arch of her left eyebrow and that damn cocky, vindictive smirk spoke of Temari in triumph.

"Sir Hyuuga?" Kako came toe to toe and eye to eye, tilting her head to further study his odd expression.

His head was filled with the faint scent of strawberries. Both their scents. It was enough to drive him crazy. She was the manifestation of his damn problems in human form, possessing both features and qualities of the women—not of his dreams; but of his nightmares.

OoOoOoOo

When Neji sat at the breakfast table in the morning his mood was nothing short of sour. To make matters worse was the presence of an all too familiar yet unwelcomed face, that of his dreaded fiancée—Temari, dressed in a soft blue cotton dress looking every bit as if she belonged there, though she stood out like a sore thumb with her blonde hair amongst the Hyuugas' dark tresses.

"Neji," she greeted with a smile that he knew she only reserved for him—synthetically personal—almost mocking.

"Temari," he returned dryly, failing miserably to suppress a sigh of despair, he found it a bother to cover up his lack of enthusiasm to see her.

His little gesture of apathy didn't go unnoticed by Hiashi who shot him a warning glare then turned to their guest, "It's so lovely of you to join us for breakfast. I've been trying to persuade my nephew to ask you to come but he's a bit shy."

Temari giggled; somehow the sound didn't suit her. "How cute," she exclaimed.

Discreetly Neji scoffed. Sicken to the bone by the prospect of this woman becoming his wife. They were practically strangers and from what he had learned about her, they had close to nothing in common. Marriage with her would be a disaster in the making for they would have nothing to base their relationship upon except for the desire to keep the wealth within the influential families.

"How's work at the firm?" Hiashi asked pouring syrup on the mountain of pancakes stacked on the plate before him. "Hanabi is actually thinking about a career in law," Hiashi was saying, the blonde's dark orbs reverted in the direction of the young Hyuuga whom she seem to study for awhile then she nodded in approval.

"Correction," Neji interrupted. "You're thinking about getting Hanabi enrolled in law school."

The head of the Hyuuga household chuckled but the effect of Neji's blow seemed to have momentarily stunned him. "Are you working on any new case?" he coughed returning his attention to their breakfast guest.

"Actually I'm currently working on a case, nothing big. But it's something that I feel strongly about."

Hiashi raised his mug in acknowledgement, "Fight for what you believe in my dear, that's the only way you'll change the world," he took a sip from his herbal tea.

Neji couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes at his uncle's pathetic attempt to make Temari's appearance at their dining table seem conventional. He couldn't help but notice Hanabi's furrowed brows every time Temari faked a chortle and felt at ease knowing that he wasn't the only who felt unnerved by the blonde's unwanted presence in their lives. This whole engagement was a sham—an injudicious arrangement instigated by the heads of the Hyuuga and Sabaku ménage to increase the families' capital.

"I think it's time we made your engagement public!" Hiashi announced. "Word on the streets is that all the eligible bachelorette's refuse to accept any proposals until my nephew makes his choice," He laughed.

"I heard that he's quite a catch," Temari's pink lips flaunted a sheepish grin. "I'm a lucky girl."

"I beg to differ," Neji declared.

"You do?" His fiancée shot him a bewildered glance and arched an eyebrow; it was an expression he had become accustomed to. Her lips parted as if to say something but she was denied the opportunity to retaliate for Hyuuga Hiashi spoke first.

"What my nephew means..." he glowered at the stoic young man. "...Is that he's the one who should count himself lucky to considering the fact that he's promised to a woman of such fine stature." His ivory orbs seemed to have set ablaze when he looked at his nephew. "Wasn't that what you had meant nephew?"

"Why of course uncle," came Neji's sardonic reply.

"This union is exactly what both families need—"

"I can just bet," Neji muttered uninterestedly.

"—to strengthen our bond."

"I heard about your taking over The Leaf Hospital," Temari addressed the senior Hyuuga. "That's a rather clever venture. Proper medical-care has been a long-standing issue facing our nation."

A sigh was heaved, "And do you think privatization will eradicate all the problems facing the nation regarding medical care?" Neji directed the question at his appointed fiancée.

"More advanced technology will be introduced into the hospital along with certified professionals, better quality service—" she was cut off.

"Have you considered how costly healthcare is going to be, or how many of the young nurses in training are going to be jobless? Are you forgetting that they acquired their jobs through signing up with for that nursing program funded by the government? What happens when the government loses control of the hospital?" For some reason he thought about Sakura and it fuelled the anger that he felt towards his uncle—towards himself.

"Oh yes, Yamanaka Ino is undergo training with that same program," Hiashi recalled smirking. "It's no wonder you feel so strongly about this topic."

Neji gritted his teeth behind sealed lips at how well Temari played the role of jealous fiancée—blazing eyes, twitching eyebrows and all. "Ino Yamanaka?"

"A friend of mine," came his flat reply. Another chapter in the story of my life, he thought grimly.

"Speaking of Yamanaka..." Hiashi cut in seeing the possibility of an approaching conflict. "She brought in a friend of hers yesterday, a junior nurse as well—I think you've met her before," he looked at Neji who in turn stared indifferently. "She collapsed on their lunch break."

"That's awful!" Hinata gasped.

"We're trying to stabilize her but due to severely low blood pressure it's posing a problem especially where saving the foetus is concerned," Hiashi sighed. "Apparently Sakura suffered a vasovagal attack—"

His thoughts went into frenzy at the sound of the pinkette's name. "Haruno Sakura?" He asked in a barely audible voice that didn't seem to belong to him. His heart missed more than just a few beats when Hiashi nodded, confirming Neji's dread. He just sat there—stock-still, feeling as if his insides had collapsed and were sliding down his feet. A cannonball blowing through the chest couldn't have stunned him more.

"—which happened as a result of her blood pressure dropping suddenly reducing circulation to the brain causing loss of consciousness," he looked up, caught Neji's expression of horror and mistook it for peeking interest. "Neurally-mediated syncope, its other name, is a common type of fainting spell. Some people may suffer a fainting spell due to anxiety, fear, pain, intense emotional stress, hunger, or use of alcohol or drugs. Prolong syncope causes seizures, which in her case could result in the death of the foetus."

Not exactly good news but his uncle could have sounded a bit more concerned in the deliverance.

Jolted from shock, Neji barrelled down the hall towards the front door without the slightest turn of his head to see their reactions. Pain-spurred anger billowed beneath his shock bringing with it a surge of adrenaline. He couldn't shake the feeling that her sudden illness had everything to do with him and his insensitively towards their unanticipated parental crisis. He'd rather pull a tooth than face her pallid form lying in a hospital bed—several teeth actually. But his conscience wouldn't allow it. Maybe his decision to take her to court for full custody of the child was going a bit too far. He's only doing what's best for the child, not just giving it the Hyuuga name but guaranteeing him or her a life in a privilege society as well as a healthy inheritance.

"Neji!" his back went rigid at the sound of Temari's voice and the clicking of her accelerating heels behind him. "Leaving so soon?" she panted.

He glanced back at her and frowned. "Yes."

"You're going to the hospital aren't you?" she folded her arms.

"Temari dammit—" he roared. "Get back to breakfast."

"No," she planted herself between the door and his towering form.

All movement stopped in the hall followed by murmurs as the nosey servants watched the unfolding spectacle.

"I'm coming with you," she declared.

OoOoOoOo

He had never seen someone's face transition between so many conflicting emotions. First came the bewilderment that raised her shaped-to-perfection pink eyebrows at his sudden appearance. Then came the irritation that knitted her eyebrows together and darkened her green orbs to an almost menacing colour when it finally registered in the cerebral hemisphere of her brain, that, the asshole who had gotten her pregnant was actually standing in the middle of the room looking as if he were the one laying on a hospital bed. Third came the relief that relaxed her features making her look as vulnerable as he knew she was.

"Sakura..." was all he managed to get out as he stared at her beautiful jade eyes, now reddened and filled with pain. He saw her chin quiver and drop his gaze to the huge bump—their child.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, it was to one simple and desperate attempt to apologize in the only way he knew how to.

"Where are your things?" he moved towards her. "I'm putting you in the private wing."

She studied him briefly and then responded with determination. "No."

"It isn't up for discussion," he frowned at her tear stained cheeks, dishevelled hair and swollen eyes. "You can't stay in here," he grimaced as he surveyed the room. The walls needed repainting, the few furniture present were worn and had definitely seen better days, the curtains once white—now brown and frankly speaking wasn't up to par with Hyuuga standards.

"You haven't the courtesy to ask me how I'm doing..." she said it so clearly, her voice carried through the room. "What are you even doing here?"

His mouth dropped open at that one. "You're carrying my child remember?"

Her face paled, then darkened with a shadow of agony. "Please don't remind me," she rolled her eyes.

"Sakura, please don't make this any more complicated than it has to be," he muttered looking away. Annoyed by the fact that even in a state of extreme frailness she still had the same kind of unique allure she always had—the kind that sent his wits in mayhem. Just by looking at her fragile frame, flushed cheeks, pale skin and bedraggled hair, it rose all of his protective instincts.

"I'm making this complicated?" her voice raised a bit too much for his comfort. "Hyuuga Neji—"

The door opened and a fair head of blonde hair stuck inside, "Neji, I'm going to grab a bite down by the food court—" She peeked behind Neji, "Sakura?" Temari exclaimed stepping inside the room.

"Temari?" Sakura's eyes widen. "What are you doing here?"

"You two know each other?"

"That's right," Sakura shot him smug grin. "She's my attorney."

**A/N:** **I never planned to end it there but oh well. I'm sorry if it lacked entertainment value, I just had to post something because it has been awhile since I updated. ****Ten Reviews**** and I'll consider updating next week. Fifteen Reviews and I'll most definitely update next week. **_**(I started chapter 11 already)**_

**Apology:** **I had seventeen different external examination papers to sit plus 17 internal mock examination papers in preparations for CXC so I had been busy studying over the past few months. Sorry about the long wait but high school comes first especially since this is the most crucial year. The examination is called CXC... it's a Caribbean thing. I study 8 subjects and for each subject there are 2 papers (pratical&theory or theory&multiplechoice) except for Spanish where there are three papers (oral, writing and multiple choice) thus 17—grand total of 34.**

"**Review To Keep Me Motivated****"**


	11. Chapter 11

**Guilty Passion **

**Chapter Eleven**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I understand that there is some confusion regarding what was posted in Chapter Nine and the happenings of Chapter Ten; the confusion was intentional. But everything can't be revealed all at once... that'll just make the story predictable, dissuading you from reading. I have been feeling a bit down lately. Sorry about the wait, I was busy feeling sorry for myself.**

The expression that morphed its way up unto Neji's comely profile was priceless—a mixture of sincere remorse and utter dismay. Sakura had to suppress the urge to giggle. It was the first that she had seen anything but that deadpan façade that he usually flaunted. She guessed that it was a rare occasion that anyone got to witness the slightest crack in the Hyuuga's stoic mask. But she had to admit that his expression, however stupefied it was, it did make him look more charming. Not that he wasn't charming; Hyuuga Neji was nothing short of your average eye candy, in fact, he was way about average—

"Remember that small case that I mentioned this morning at breakfast?" Temari asked dragging Sakura out of thought and rescuing her from the rash shift of her thinking. Mentally she scolded herself for thinking of Neji as anything but the callous brute that he was. Still he was rather handsome…for an asshole. "I'll be representing Sakura at a custody hearing."

Sakura watched in complete amazement as the princely Hyuuga fought with himself to formulate words and maintain his usually cool composure. He finally settled for stuffing his hands inside his pockets and glaring outside the window, seemingly in deep thought. "You don't say," he drawled in a blatantly obvious pretence amused tone.

He was insufferable, she thought to herself. "I intend to fight back," she gritted her teeth, grabbing a handful of the bedspread to prevent herself from lunging at him.

"It's only natural that you would," he turned towards the bed meeting her fiery green gaze. She could have sworn that she saw a twig of distress lurking in those ivory orbs of his. But she knew better than to feel anything besides hatred towards this man. This man, whose unsolicited presence in her life has led to more than just a snag.

"That's right Sakura," Temari agreed. Closing the distance between herself and Neji she linked her arm with his. Sakura didn't miss the faint pink that grazed the blonde's cheeks neither did she miss Neji's grimace. "Don't you worry, when I'm done with that scumbag he won't even be able to come within thirty feet of your child," she said it with so much confidence, so much passion and determination that Sakura would have believed her… if she wasn't clasp unto the putative _scumbag_ looking done up like a blushing bride and acting every bit the part.

Just what the fuck is going on here? The pinkette wondered while twisting her head to the side to further scrutinize the eerie charade unfolding before her eyes.

"Am I missing something here?" she blinked at them, ensuring to keep a look of polite enquiry on her face. Yes, she was aware that they knew each other, after all she had met Neji at Temari's party—the cliché of it was pathetic. But that still didn't explain why it was that she clung unto him like an accessory. In the absence of time she hadn't mentioned Neji's name when she had spoken to Temari about the custody hearing. But even the omission of such vital detail couldn't elucidate the clandestine link that seemed to exist between the two.

Neji was the first to react, with grave difficulty he managed to peel Temari's slender frame from his. With a quick glance at Sakura's quizzical expression his own became slightly pained.

"I've been meaning to tell you," Temari turned to the tall dark-haired male, a flicker of longing in her dark eyes. Then fastened her gaze with Sakura's and smiled seizing Neji's arm again. "Neji and I are engaged."

Her announcement had the effect of a small dynamite detonating at close range. Sakura found her hands grasping a handful of the bedspread yet again, not to suppress the urge to strangle the duo but the urge to strangle herself. The silence that accompanied Temari's proclamation was piercing, until Sakura finally mustered up the courage to trust herself to speak.

"Congratulations," it was all she could do to return even a portion of Temari's smile; her face felt frozen. She could only stare at them. "Congratulations," she repeated through a rigid counterfeit of a smile.

Temari came to the bedside and threw her arms around Sakura in hearty thanks. Feeling both frail and defeated Sakura sag towards Temari and muttered a plain, you're welcome. Raising her head from where it rested on Temari's shoulder she glanced up at Neji and caught the turmoil of emotions in his whole stance. Amongst those she could most definitely sense rage.

On realizing that his gawkiness caught her attention, he turned his head away from her and frowned. Inwardly she screamed and pulled at her hair. This man was unbelievable. Obviously he was putting the blame on her for the sudden cruel twist of their fate. But all jokes aside their fates had been jinxed the moment they rediscovered each other.

His alleged fiancée was going up against him in court because of a child that he had with another woman—it was pathetic, ludicrous even. And Sakura was going to give birth to her friend's fiancé's child—a fairytale in the making. Maybe it had been a coincidence that she hadn't mentioned Neji to Temari, maybe it had been just fate. But whatever the hell it was, it sure did save them both a lot of distress. Trouble was inevitable at this point for as the days rolled by they found themselves digging an even deeper hole for themselves.

"I was heading towards the food court," Temari released Sakura and stood. "Neji do you want anything?" she asked grinning at Sakura for some unapparent reason.

"No," his reply was brusque, almost as though he were dismissing her.

"Would you like anything Sakura?" she offered.

Modesty along with the grief and guilt that she felt would have prevented her from welcoming the small gesture of kindness but she hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday and she was in dire need of an energy boost. "A latte would be nice."

"Most definitely not," Neji declared. Both Sakura and Temari gaped. She didn't need to hear him say it, the annoyance on his face spoke for itself—what did I tell you about feeding that garbage to my child? "She'll have a bottle of vitamin water and a fruit salad," he instructed Temari who nodded in approval and left the room.

"Fiancée?" she whispered aloud as soon as Temari was out of earshot.

"I uhh…" he paused, searching her face in the dim light that came through the slightly parted blinds. "I do not intend to marry Temari," he growled.

She looked up and met his eyes, then fastened her gaze on her palms in front of her. "I'm sure Ino would be delighted to hear that." Of course Sakura couldn't dismiss the real reason why she was currently lying in a hospital bed; she figured that she'd end of in one sooner or later but Ino's admission…

"What does Ino have to do with anything?"

"She informed me of your upcoming nuptials—yours and hers," she gritted her teeth.

Neji froze.

"And on my count Hyuuga, that's gives you one fiancées too many."

OoOoOoOo

Neji stood in the doorway of Sakura's bedroom with his right elbow braced lightly against the frame. One of his hands were stuffed in his pocket and the other hung loosely by his side. He wore a frown along with a pale blue t-shirt with a flannel shirt that lay open over it and soft, snug fit jeans. He was breath taking—every inch of him. Built to perfection—broad shoulders, trim waist, lean hips, a charming profile and chestnut tresses that could rival the sleekness of silk.

Sakura on the other hand was a wreck. Neji found her sitting on the floor beside her plain sapele night table. Her back and head were against the wall. Her feet were flat on the floor and bare, her knees bent. The fold of her wraparound night robe covered the bump—that was their child—and fell between her legs.

"I thought I told you to call me if you were feeling ill," he looked her up and down twice then studied her face making a mental note of the clothes that were scattered on the unmade bed and the shoes that trailed from the closet.

A smug little grin found its way upon Sakura's lips as she steadily met the gaze that sought hers. "I consider breaking and entering a felony."

Through narrowed eyes she watched his approach. His steps slow as he neared. "I called," he said defensively.

From where she sat propped up against the wall, she lifted her shoulders in a weak shrug. "I know…" she held his gaze seemingly not having the strength to look away. But, very slowly she moved her head from one side to the next. "You did this to me," her pale knuckles curled up into a fist that gradually relaxed.

Coming closer Neji squatted before her, "We need to talk," he declare bluntly.

Momentarily confused and thrown off the subject which they hadn't even started, Sakura straightened her head against the wall and closed her eyes. "You did this to me," her words slurred this time.

"Sakura…" he rubbed his temples out of sheer annoyance. Silently he wondered if she was stoned.

"Does Temari know that you're here?" her mouth barely moved and for a second Neji had to wonder if it was she who had really spoken.

"Yes," he nodded.

She inched her head from side to side, "Aren't you afraid that you might raise speculations?" she opened her eyes again, this time they were filled with misery. "I thought that we agreed to not allow what we have between us to hurt anyone."

"And what exactly do we have between us?" he asked bluntly.

She drew a shallow breath but refrained from making a comment. In all honesty she didn't have an answer to that question. What did they have between them—besides Sakura's swollen abdomen—both literally and figuratively speaking. Shrugging her shoulders she asked, "Have you spoken with Ino?"

His look was venomous, "No."

Tears filled her eyes, "This is entirely your fault." She raised both palms to her face.

"Stumbling upon you hasn't exactly granted me any favors either but you don't hear me complaining?" he gritted his teeth because anger was always the best substitute for a Hyuuga's sympathy.

"You've officially screwed up my life," the smile she flashed him didn't quite reach her eyes which came as no surprise. "You should be very proud of yourself," he almost flinched at the bitter sarcasm, then she added gravely. "Because of you I'll be left without a best friend and with a child that I don't even want." At the precise moment that the words came out her breath quickened and became shallow. Her throat seemed to work in a spasmodic sort of way.

Neji knew what was going to happen before she did. Curling his fingers around her wrist he swiftly drew her up to her feet, by that time she had her pallid palm covering her mouth. He led her across the room to the bathroom where she spilled the remains of her stomach inside the toilet. Neji was right there with her providing the support that he knew she couldn't offer herself. He stood behind her, legs set apart, one hand around her waist and the other holding back her hair.

When he was sure she had absolutely nothing more to throw up, he flushed, replaced the toilet lid and propped a shaking Sakura on it. Then he began to wipe around her mouth with a wet cloth.

"I can manage," she argued pulling her face away but Neji wouldn't hear of it. Embarrassed she closed her eyes and muttered, "You must be thoroughly disgusted." If Sakura felt so terribly appalled at herself she could just imagine how sick-to-the-bone the high-born Hyuuga must feel even though his facial expression gave away nothing.

"I'll live, it's you that I'm worried about," Neji acquired another towel, soaked it under the tap at the face basin and proceeded to sponge bathe Sakura's face.

"I'll survive, I'm just a little dizzy," she sighed. She sagged lazily against him and closed her eyes. She could stay like this forever, she thought to herself. Not a care in the world—supported and protected by his strong frame, while listening to the steady beat of his heart and the sound of his breathing that soothed her into serenity.

He slipped his arm around her back and helped her to her feet. "Why don't you go on and take a shower." He grimaced at her night robe; it needed washing—apparently so did she.

"I'm fine," that she wasn't, her skin had paled dramatically, her eyes had gone into dark holes and on top of that, she was damped with perspiration regardless of the fact that the temperature was severely low this winter. In fact she looked on the verge of collapsing. "I need to lay down." she protested when he turned on the shower and gave her a small push towards it.

Setting her against the glass shower door he undid her night robe, letting it fall to the floor. Without allowing himself the pleasure of looking at her, he removed her underwear and helped her into the shower. "Go on," he charged lightly.

She made a strangled sound, bent slightly and held unto her swollen abdomen, "I don't—" she choked on the rest of her words. She had never felt so much embarrassment in her entire life. It wasn't that she was humiliated by her body but having Neji see it in the state that it was went way beyond and against her fantasies. "You don't have to do this," she murmured as soon as the dry heaves had subsided.

"I wouldn't have to be doing this if you hadn't discharged yourself from the hospital," he scowled and slid the glass door shut. "I'm going to give my uncle a ring," and with that said she heard the bathroom door slammed shut.

The house fell silent, except for the sound of water splashing against her skin and the bottom of the tiled interior of her shower. She stood numbly beneath the shower, letting the water run freely along the length of her body. Her pink hair stuck unto her face, making impossible to focus her vision. Not that it mattered, her limbs felt too much like rubber for her to move a muscle let alone turn off the pipe. She felt defeated—both physically and emotionally.

She pressed her head against the tile and sighed feeling all sense of purpose fleeing her being. The water came down with such force on the nape of her neck that it momentarily rendered her giddy. Her eyes fell shut, allowing the sound of the water to drown out the tumult in her head and the chaos stirring up inside her heart. But her peace was short-lived for Neji came barging in barking orders that her perplexed mind could not fully conceive.

"You haven't even moved an inch since I left you in here," he shook his head in disbelief. "Do you want to give the child pneumonia?"

She didn't answer.

He swore then muttered something along the line of, "I can't believe I'm doing this." He slid the glass door open and grabbed unto her wrist, pulling her frail form gently towards him. Mindless of the fact that she was wet, he allowed her to lean against him for support. What he did next, he had to swallow a lot of his manly pride to do—but even more of his Hyuuga arrogance.

"Neji?" she opened her eyes. Something swelled up inside her heart as she watched the Hyuuga through dazed eyes. If she had the strength, she wouldn't have allowed him to do this to her, but she hadn't the strength nor will power to put a stop to it. Her eyes lids drooped, allowing Neji to remain concentrated on washing her face, her hands and her hair. Assuming that the run off would take care of the rest of her, he rinsed her off, turned off the water, ushered her out and wrapped her with a towel he had fetched from the towel rack.

He sat her down on the commode and dried the moisture from her hair with another towel. He worked one damped pink curl, then another, back from her cheek. "Do not move," he ordered rather impatiently.

He returned with a pair of pale pink underpants which he slid upwards along her legs not before a pair of pink panties. "Left leg…good, now right" he instructed. She was very compliant, but her mind seemed distant. He eased the cotton T-shirt over her head, past her shoulders, and down her sides.

She glanced up at him then looked equally as blankly at her feet. "My head hurts."

By the time he was to return with a glass of water and aspirins, Sakura had stumbled her way from the bathroom and collapsed unto the bed. She had curled up into a ball on her side and had buried her face into the pillow.

"Do you love Temari?" she asked suddenly easing up to take the glass and pills from his hands.

"I don't see how that question is relevant?" Neji folded his arms and frowned.

Tearing the package she popped the pills inside her mouth and took a healthy swallow from the glass, handed it back to Neji and sank lifelessly into the softness of the bed. "You must harbor some sort of infatuation if you're engaged to the woman."

Neji fell into his usual comfortable silence, but Sakura wouldn't hear of it. It infuriated her to have him ignore her, let alone sweep his bigamous betrothals under the rug. "Well?" she pressed.

"There are many motives for Hyuuga marriages and love isn't usually one of them," came his candid response. He drew the comforter over her changing the subject he asked gruffly, "Are you hungry?"

"No." Starving? Yes. "Well, she seems to think otherwise…" she drew the sheets up under her chin.

"Convincing herself that this engagement is genuinely out of affection is just Temari's way of coping with the scandalous truth."

"But there must have been something that you saw in her that you hadn't seen in the other candidates that made you choose her above everyone else," she didn't know if she were asking a question or making a statement, but either way it seemed to have gotten what she wanted across.

He was silent for a while then he shrugged. "If it were left up to me, I'll still be a bachelor."

She winced at the edge in his tone.

"The decision wasn't mine to make, to begin with—apparently," he continued. "Enough of that," he waved a hand in dismissal—annoyance. "My child is my only priority and as long as you're still carrying it you're my charge."

The corner of her lips twitched upwards in a coy smile, shamelessly she admitted it to herself; she kind of liked the sound of that. But unconfined sentiments could only result in catastrophe especially since the depth of emotion felt by one party wasn't in the least bit reciprocated. "Explain to me how it is that Ino fits into all of this," she finally asked.

Neji groaned silently when Sakura stared up at him with a look of interest on her delicate features. "It's a long story," he answered pulling his gaze from her. For a moment he was silent then he added. "She was amongst the women my uncle had chosen for me to court…" a sigh was heaved. "…and possibly marry." It sounded as though it grieved him to even pronounce the word.

"She hadn't breathed a word about this to me!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

"My uncle disliked Ino," he continued. "Apparently he couldn't stand arrogance." The irony of it all had them both rolling their eyes. "I decided that since he liked Ino the least…I'd marry her." It was obvious that he wasn't proud of his decision, especially since it left him with two fiancées and a pregnant woman.

"You are unbelievable!" Sakura sat up. The glare she threw at him could have made a lesser person piss their pants—twice. "You've just proven how much of asshole you really are."

"Revenge wasn't the only ground upon which our engagement was built," he admitted softly. "I genuinely liked her," then he quickly added, "In comparison to the others of course. She didn't hide behind a mask like everyone else."

They were silent for awhile, simultaneously pondering the predicament that they were in. Neji didn't want the face the wrath of his uncle in the event that word got out about his second engagement. Neither did he want to face the embarrassment of having a child out of wedlock, let alone while he was engaged. It would tarnish the Hyuuga appellation and undoubtedly result in him being stripped of his titled surname. Above all he wanted to be involved in his child's life, the same way his father had been in his—up until the time of his death. Neji imagined that there was no quiet route to getting unengaged. Regardless of the fact that he hated Hiashi's gut, he didn't wish to bring down such shame upon the man that had been fathering him since the tender age of eight.

His engagement to Ino had been a rash decision made to spite his uncle. They had agreed to keep it quiet for Neji had been waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb and hopefully distribute a few blows. The moment came, but it was Neji who had received the knock. First came Hiashi's decision to wed Neji and the Sabaku heiress then came Sakura into the picture…and a little reminder of that faithful night in the Inn. And just when he thought life couldn't have gotten any more complicated, his uncle-appointed fiancée turned out to be lawyer representing Sakura at the custody hearing where he intended to take full custody of his child. The said child that he had intended to raise with his soon-to-be yet dreaded wife, Temari.

It would have all worked out in his favor especially since Temari couldn't have children. And while his uncle would have been upset he would have eventually warmed up to the idea of being a grandfather to the child. Neji would have his child, Hiashi would have had the daughter-in-law of his dreams and Sakura needn't worry about readjusting her priorities in order to facilitate a child. Yes, Ino would still have to be dealt with, but she wouldn't have posed so much of a threat as oppose to their current scenario. It could have all worked out… He knew that now more than ever Sakura would willingly retaliate. Passing up the opportunity to humiliate him at the custody hearing would be hard but he knew she'd never risk anything that could hurt her friend and possibly result in the end of their friendship.

"Where do we go from here?" Sakura seemed to have read his mind. It changes everything now that she knew Temari, her friend—her lawyer was Neji's fiancée. There was no way around this plight, she sighed falling back unto the pillow. All the possible routes led to dead ends. Going their separate ways seemed most suiting to Sakura, but she knew that that option was out of the question. Neji wouldn't have it.

"I will be a part of my child's life," he held up his head. Arrogance defined his posture.

Sakura closed her eyes for a moment then reopened them, unable to focus fully on the man before her. "I never intended to keep you away in the first place," her voice softened though her hands clenched beneath the blankets. Unwilling to suffer the grimace she knew would surface on his face; she threw the sheet over her face and silently fought the tears she knew would come anyways.

A deafening silence engulfed the duo. It had the contrasting effect of making it impossible for the pinkette to hear her thoughts.

"I have a proposition," Neji declared. "I think it might solve some of your problems."

"Does it involve me putting a bullet hole through your head?"

"No, but it involves you putting a ring on my finger. Marry me," came his monotonous proposal.

**A/N: Just typed this up. I didn't even proof read. 15 Reviews and I'll continue. Sorry if it sucked, I'm at that stage in my adolescent life where I begin to question my purpose. I'm having a bad day…and summer :( Review to cheer me up. I love you all.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twelve**

A pregnant silence followed his reputedly prudent proposition.

Her mind stumbled upon and came to a halt at the last two words that left his mouth. They resounded in her mind, somewhat derisive. Instinctively she removed the quilt from her face to scrutinize the expression on his face but as usual his mien gave away nil. She uttered a sigh and returned an equally blank gaze as the one he had fasten on her. Marry Him? He couldn't possibly be serious, she thought to herself.

For a moment or two the idea of that fairytale happy ending she had always envisioned as a child played on her mind. But how in the world would establishing some sort of conjugal bond between herself and the haughty Hyuuga going to solve anything?

Sakura was the first to break eye contact. Removing the comforter from herself, she swung her legs to the edge of the bed and she sat up with her hands clasped around her middle. "I'm hungry," she merely stated before staggering out of the room mindful that Neji was following closely behind.

"I asked if you were hungry," he pointed out gingerly; she almost flinched at the raw edge that his tone had taken.

It was a pitiful attempt to evade conversation with him but Sakura kept quiet while she rummaged through the cupboards. She wasn't exactly sure what it was that she was looking for, but it kept her thoughts from loitering too much on Neji's preposterous suggestion. She couldn't marry him, could she? The possibility of giving rise to newly found controversy was too great. But given the circumstances under which she has to make a decision and the consequences that will undoubtedly follow any decision made, Sakura knew that either way… she'll inaugurate a fiasco. And while she didn't want to risk her friendship or her happiness, the desire to give her child the life that every child deserved, outdid every other concern.

The growling of her stomach brought her back to the present, "I wasn't hungry then," she answered untruthfully. She didn't need to see his face to know that he wore a glare and that it was drilling holes in her back.

While randomly browsing through the cupboards she bumped her tummy on the counter and hissed. Throwing her hands up in defeat she swore and turned around to face Neji. "What?" She furrowed her brows at him after catching the look of enquiry on his face.

"You have yet to answer my question," his voice seemed to have travelled throughout her flat, though it was barely above a whisper.

She brought her hands to her hips and frowned, "I'm hungry."

He seemed to have sighed out of annoyance before he made his way towards her, "That's no concern of mine. I'm not your housekeeper," he gently pushed her aside and ordered her to sit. He then began to fetch cooking utensils and food items from the refrigerator and cupboard, every once in a while he'd ask where specific things were kept.

Sakura sat by the table watching the man who'd probably never had to lift a finger his entire life, working his way around the kitchen as if he belonged there. She watched in complete amazement as he combined ground beef from her refrigerator with salt, basil, savory, egg, milk, onion and cracker crumbs into meat balls. He then rolled them in combined paprika and flour and added them to the heated cooker that was based with oil.

"Marrying you doesn't automatically solve all of our problems," she muttered, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin on the back of her palms. "...or any of our problems for that matter." From where she sat his shoulders seemed to have tensed.

"In order for any child of mine to inherit the Hyuuga prerogative, he or she has to be born inside of wedlock," he gruffly interjected.

Taking the weight of her long pink hair into her hand, she held it off her neck for a minute. Then twisting it forward over one shoulder, she addressed Neji who was busy fetching produce from her refrigerator. "Many men have fathered children born to women with whom they shared no matrimonial affinity," she pointed out. "And might I add, those children still bear the surnames of their fathers."

"It's not a matter of surname," he said flatly. "This is about securing the future of this child as a legitimate Hyuuga heir."

"How very noble of you," she jeered. "You'd willing sacrifice your dignity in order to ensure that the peasant's child isn't underprivileged."

Neji grunted then sighed, looking at her from over his shoulders he shook his head solemnly, "Peasant? Is that how you really see yourself?"

That comment stung a lot more than it should have. She curled her palm into a fist and pressed her lips against it. Somehow trying to find humor out of their situation backfired on her. Deeming pregnancy hormones as the cause of the tears that formed in her eyes; she shrugged her shoulders and fell into a stony silence as she watched Neji's efficient movement around the kitchen.

While the meatballs browned he went about making what she knew was spaghetti sauce. He heated yet another pot, added oil and brown beef along with an array of seasoning; diced onion, garlic, celery and salt then combined tomato paste, water, chili powder, cayenne pepper and curry powder, stirred then covered the pot securely before turning to address her.

She was rendered silent for a moment, captivated by yet again another rare Hyuuga occurrence. First was the uncharacteristic loss of his cool—that she had taken great joy in witnessing, then came the swallowing an enormous bulk of his pride to give her a bath and now this. She didn't even think Hyuuga and cooking or any other domestic-related word for that matter were supposed to be used in the same sentence.

"I hope you like spaghetti and meatballs," he said dryly before turning away again to tend to the meatballs.

She would have liked it even if it tasted like cardboard. It wasn't often that she had the pleasure of watching someone cook for her, let alone someone so pleasing to the eye sight. "It smells great," she took a loud intake of breath. After seasoning the meatballs with salt, sliced onions, tomatoes and water he then turned to her and she grinned at him, "So the Prince can cook?" she laughed.

The ends of his lips curled upwards slightly. "Prince?" he asked, not bothering to cover up his amusement. Though he would have preferred if Sakura desist from insisting that their relationship was that of a prince and a pauper, or to put it in her terms—peasant. He found it rather humorous how well she maintained the delusive, fairytale theme.

She nodded getting up, "I'll prepare the spaghetti," she offered, astounded at how surprisingly natural it felt to have him around. Her heart stopped at the thought that, this was probably how married life with Neji would feel—normal. Well at least for the few seconds when they could actually get along with each other.

"I can manage," There he goes again with that dismissive wave of his hand.

Regardless of the dark scowl that surfaced on his face, Sakura wobbled her way towards the counter smirking at him. "What are you looking at?" she noted his furrowed brows.

"You're stubborn," he muttered, catching her by the wrist before she was able to snatch whatever it was that she was attempting to fetch from the overhead cupboard. "I'm surprised that you even have the strength to be a pain in the state that you're in."

"I was doing just fine..." her voice trailed. Then she added bitterly, while failing to free her wrist from his iron grip. "...until you came along." Before you resurfaced into my life, she had wanted to clarify.

"I'm sure you were," his voice was low and husky when he stared down at her. His pearly gaze fell upon her slightly flushed face resulting in the frantic and unsteady beating of her heart. There was something impish about the way he was staring at her; it made her knees weak and her heart do somersaults in her chest. Neji was absolutely breathtaking. But the term breathtaking seemed grossly under-exaggerated.

"Unhand me!" she demanded furiously. Her emerald orbs widen at the sound of his deep chuckle—surprised by his little gesture of hilarity.

Threading his fingers through her hair, he placed his index finger beneath her chin and tilted her face upwards. "I said that I could manage."

His hot, minty breath against her face sent tiny flares of excitement through her body. One look at his face told her that he was taking great joy in witnessing the effect of the power they both knew that he had over her. Thoroughly appalled at herself she scoffed and tore her gaze away from his. "Don't you have somewhere to be, like tending to your fiancées?" she slapped his hand away.

"Do I sense some sort of resentment?" he made little effort to conceal what was supposed to come off as humor.

"If that was the case Hyuuga, I would have gladly accepted your proposal," Sakura squirmed at the smug grin that surfaced on his lips—lips that were damn well near edible. Subconsciously she licked her lips. Whether her action roused interest or nonchalance, he didn't indicate.

"So you decline?" for the first time since she had met him, Hyuuga Neji sounded unsure. However, the tone of his voice didn't do much justice towards making her feel as though he actually wanted her to be a part of his absurd scheme. Not that she minded—Haruno Sakura did not play house.

"With a capital D," she assured him succinctly.

Neji arched a brow at her and allowed a minute of silence to pass before he dropped the bomb. "Then I suppose I'll be seeing you in court after all?"

Sakura's jaws dropped. "What?" she asked in a muffled whisper. She studied the glittering light in his eyes and knew in that moment—he was not kidding. The pinkette swallowed hard, "What?" she repeated.

Looking down at her Neji felt a swell of gentleness, but the terseness of his tone betrayed the thoughts going through his head. "You heard me."

Shifting her weight to one leg, she ran her hands through her bubblegum tresses. "I thought that we had agreed to avoid bringing in the law at all cost, considering the amount of bad publicity that this particular case will attract. Not to mention your fiancée is my attorney!"

"Then get another attorney," he suggested bluntly.

She growled. "Trying to save your hide?"

"It doesn't need saving," he reached out and smoothed a long strand of hair from cheek. "Sooner or later everyone would have found out about the child." He shrugged and met her emerald gaze with leveled hardness. "So we're back to square one. Again."

Square one meant a custody hearing. And whether or not Temari represented her, Sakura knew that she was fighting a losing battle. The word Hyuuga, Sakura had come to learn, was so much more than just a name. It was brand, subjected to preferential treatment. It wouldn't matter that Hyuuga Neji had fathered a lovechild; that alone would come off as recklessness in the event were a lesser individual was involved. But given the wealthy background and the elite appellation, the court would automatically deem him the more stable parent, ruling in his favour.

"You can't possibly be serious."

Lightly he stroked her hair. "I am very serious Miss Haruno."

"This is blackmail," she whispered, feeling herself melt beneath his ivory gaze. And just for a moment, she forgot about their current predicament and savored the gentleness of his hands as they cradled her head. She kept her gaze on his lips, anxiously awaiting their descent. Much to her disappointment they remained hovering above hers.

"I tried negotiating," he leaned in closer.

Taken aback she immediately fell out of her trance, "A baby isn't negotiable," she declared hotly.

A shiver raced up his spine as her words echoed down through every layer of his awareness, all the way to his well-guarded core. Warmth welled up unexpectedly in him, softening his posture and pooling in his cold eyes. "Well this is a rare occurrence, we actually agree on something."

Sakura was momentarily disarmed by his softening. She had been primed for a royal battle and, instead, found herself facing no discernible opposition. "You're a hypocrite Hyuuga Neji."

"How so?" he didn't seem the least bit interested in knowing the answer. The wearisome expression on his face along with the monotonousness of his voice was all the more confirmation she needed, that yes, he really didn't value her opinion.

"By threatening to proceed with the court hearing unless I marry you, that's blackmail."

"Hn."

"And blackmailing is usually one of the first measures taken in order to gain compliance when all hopes of a successful negotiation has crumbled." Emphasis was placed on the last three words.

"You have yet to make a sensible point," he lifted his chin.

Sakura stared at him intently, then threw up her hand and gave a huff of exasperation. "For your sake and mine, I hope that this child is nothing like you."

"Hn."

"Arrogant, cruel, impertinent, prejudice, headstrong, tactless..."

He bent his head, maintaining the visual bridge between them, along which all sorts of breathtaking commerce was passing. "You flatter me," he chuckled. His head now completely filled with the faint scent of strawberries.

"How clumsy of me," suddenly the fact that they had come toe to toe and eye to eye while making their points took an entirely different potential. "I meant to have insulted you."

A wicked grin curled one side of his mouth as it lowered towards hers. Her eyes sought his as she felt his breath bathing her lips. He dragged his lips lightly across hers, back and forth, mesmerizing her with the "almost" of the kiss that was coming.

"Sakura?"

That soft, caressing motion, that endlessly pleasurable contact, was dizzying. If she raised her chin just a fraction of an inch... then she'd be able to fulfill that luscious promise of contact. "Yes," she answered distantly.

"Marry me." It wasn't a question nor was it a demand. It was a plea. It had never occurred to her that maybe...just maybe they could rescue each other from the cruel fate that life had deck out for them.

While marriage could give rise to new issues, it should be able to solve some of the more pressing ones. Their child would have stability in its life, Sakura wouldn't have to worry about losing her child to Neji in court and the dreaded union between the Sabaku heiress and the princely Hyuuga would be history.

"I can't," she murmured.

"Marry me." He slid his free arm around her waist and pulled her against him.

The possibility of provoking further controversies seemed too great to risk a few marriage benefits.

It was like being engulfed by a warm tide, she thought. His lips were soft and deliciously expressive against hers. Pleasure shot through her, beginning at the point of contact and spreading slowly down her throat and under her skin. His hand found the nape of her neck, then he gently guided her closer and she tilted her head to fit her mouth more fully to his.

She gave a whimper of protest when he suddenly pulled away. Momentarily abandoning all sense of plight, she practically demanded, "What is it?"

"Your stomach poked me."

She glanced down at her stomach and flushed. "The baby's—"shock ate the rest of her sentence. "W-what a-are you do-doing?" she stuttered wide-eyed.

Through the thin fabric of the garment she wore, she felt the warmth of his hands spread throughout her and settled within her heart. Neji had gone to his knees and was pressing his ears against her stomach. He was listening, feeling, and in his own little way, Neji Hyuuga was actually communicating with their baby. Just the very thought made her heart swell and left her feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

"A bit too spry for a four and a half month old fetus," he eased away from her stomach and frowned.

"What do you mean?" she folded her arms against the sudden chill that seemed to have engulfed the kitchen. "Is something wrong?"

"It is rather abnormal for such a relatively young fetus to be this active." Seeing the anxiety that surfaced on Sakura's face he quickly and calmly added. "It's nothing to worry about, but if it'll make you feel better then I'll schedule an appointment for tomorrow."

"The spaghetti..." she suddenly reminded him.

Coming to his feet, he nodded and returned his attention to finish preparing the meal. "Please sit," he instructed then paused to glance over his shoulder at her standing in the middle of the kitchen looking as though she had just seen her death. "Hn?"

"You leave me no choice—" her voice wavered.

"Hn?"

"—But I can't marry you."

"Fine," he shrugged his shoulders dismissively.

"No it's not fine!" her voice rose.

"It's not?" sarcasm sweetened his accent.

Neji was reaching for a plate when out of the blues Sakura growled a heartfelt, "Fuck you."

There was a lengthy silence until Neji spoke. "If you hadn't, then we wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place."

Deafening Silence...

Sakura was absolutely flabbergasted. Gritting her teeth she asked tightly, "Are you suggesting that I'm the one at fault here?" His vehemence had caught her off guard and now it was her turn to blow off some steam. "I'm only the vessel carrying the mistake you made." She pointed an accusing finger at him.

"A mistake we both made," he corrected. Had his eyes met hers, he would have detected the glimmer of tears.

"I was drunk."

"Is that your excuse in life?" Neji turned and stared hard at her before he began to stack dishes, silverware and glasses on the table. After her arranged everything to his satisfaction, he produced a pitcher of orange juice and ushered a reluctant Sakura to sit down.

"You really didn't have to do all of this," she took the plate he offered and shrugged. "I could have settled for a sandwich."

"Hn." He poured her a glass of orange juice and glanced at his watch.

"Do you have somewhere else you'd rather be?" she asked watching him closely.

He shot her another look but refrained from saying what was hanging off the tip of his tongue. Instead he smirked dryly, sat down and instructed her to eat up her meal.

"So aren't you going to eat anything?" she enquired, savouring the exquisite taste of fine cuisine.

"I'm not hungry."

Sakura studied him in silence. Then held up the tines of the fork against his lips and looked up expectantly. "Try it, it's really good."

His gaze dropped to the fork at his lips, "I'm not hungry."

"Neji..." she wailed softly.

They stared at each other for several seconds, during which Neji studied the curve of her ear, the line of her jaw, the slope of her neck, the flushness of her cheeks and her red satiny lips. Though she was of good height and ample curves, there was something very fragile about her, both physically and emotionally. It cried out to him. It made him feel passionate and compassionate towards her. "I ate already," was his lame excuse.

When she saw that he was intent on being incompliant she huffed and withdrew her fork. She muttered something profanely beneath her breath then resumed her meal. The pregnant lass helped herself to seconds, then thirds. She ate like a starving army. Though in truth, it wasn't unpleasant watching her appreciative appetite.

"I don't get you—"

"Not with your mouth full," he scolded.

"—most men would run away from the responsibility of being a father," she swallowed.

"I'm not most men," he replied flatly.

"Neji, there's a limit to integrity," she touched his hand. "Marrying me because of a child is just going to complicate both our lives. It's no different from marrying Temari because of wealth. And it's certainly no different from marrying Ino out of sheer retaliation."

"You carry something far more important than anything that they have to offer."

The weight in her midsection shifted and she knew in that moment that no matter what she did, it would be impossible to purge Hyuuga Neji from her system. A piece of him will forever remain within her—with her. Still how was she to convince Neji that they were no good for each other when she was having trouble convincing herself?

"Marriage is a too much of a big step don't you think? We're practically strangers."

"Such is the case with both my fiancées," A smoothing feeling settled over his chest, he took a deep, determined breath and dispelled the feeling. "This isn't about me nor is it about you. This is about the child you carry, and Hyuuga rules governs the condition under which a child is to be deemed a Hyuuga."

"Well that's bullshit," she prompted with a glower. "Is that why I should marry you?"

"I'd like to think that it's the next best option to a custody hearing," he said thickly.

"Here we go again." Her fork stopped mid-way to her lips, "Why are you making this so fucking difficult?"

"If my father had been this way with my mother, perhaps she would still be here," he answered, but the moment he did, he regretted it.

"Your mom?" Her voice was a bit uneven but gentle. In the moment he stared at her, frustration consumed his countenance, his jaws set and his shoulders squared, betokening annoyance being exerted from him.

"My parents had been in a similar situation. The only difference was that my father had already been married when he and my mother made the dreadful discovery."

She winced at his choice of words—dreadful discovery.

"His parents had disapproved of my father courting my mother as she was not of an affluent enough background. So they married him off to some wealthy dukes' daughter." With an oath of disgust he stood and walked towards the sink. "In the Hyuuga family it is traditional for first born sons to have their parents choose their spouses. And since my father was the eldest twin there was no way out of an arranged marriage."

And you suffer the same fate, she thought to herself. "What happened?"

He sighed, contemplating whether or not he should continue. "What do you think happened?" he asked thickly. "My mother wanted nothing to do with my father," he said a bit more calmly. "Are you finished?" he pointed at her empty plate and she nodded.

"Was your uncle your father's twin?" she asked as if she hadn't already figured that part out.

He nodded. "Besides my parents, Hiashi was the only one who knew about me. My father trusted him more that he trusted his own self." After clearing the table of dishes, he placed them in the dish washer and made himself a mug of espresso. "On the night of my birth my father had been away on his honeymoon. My mom passed away shortly after I was born. Hiashi said it was as a result of heart failure," he grimaced.

"I'm so sorry," she lowered her gaze feeling guilty for having made him recall such painful memories. And all this while she thought there was some sick motive behind him wanting his child.

"I want to be there for you the way my father wasn't able to be there for my mother."

That statement was like a knife through the heart, by the time she opened her mouth to speak, tears were rolling freely. "I'm sorry," she gave an anguished cry.

Going by her side, he took her face into her hand and turned it up to his. "There's no need to cry Sakura." His voice was at the same time firm, but gentle and pleading like his eyes. "My parents couldn't help the situation that they were in. But we can."

"I feel so horribly," she held her eyes downcast. "I can't imagine how upset your father must have been with himself."

"He blamed himself up until his death, but he loved me dearly. He and my stepmother spoiled me rotten," he chuckled to himself. "It's probably why I'm so headstrong. All in all I had a pretty privileged life. Wipe your tears," he instructed.

She understood him a little better now and where he was coming from. Though he had a very peculiar way of showing it, Hyuuga Neji was a very considerate and compassionate individual. "And to think I'm always bitching about my mother..." she said more to herself than him.

"On the subject of parents...shall I ask yours for your hand in marriage?" he suddenly asked.

Sakura sighed and rested her weight against him. She would have smiled if her heart wasn't occupied with fending off conflicting emotions. "There's no need," she said softly. "They want nothing to do with me," she shook her head, feeling purged and tired.

"Why?"

She shook her head once more. "Because I got pregnant for a guy with whom I had a one night stand."

"So it's my fault," he stated rather than asked.

"Entirely," she snuggled closer. Then mustering the sum total of strength she had left, which wasn't much, but it did the trick, she levered herself off him and stood up. "I'm going to bed," she announced. "Thanks for dinner," then she added with an impish grin, "...and the bath."

He followed her into bedroom, watched her pull back the comforter and slide between the sheets. He caught fleeting glimpse of nice things like manicured toenails, delicate feet and slender legs before they disappeared. But those things were of little significance at the moment. His attention was affixed on her pale face.

She laid on her side and indicated for him to come and squat by the side of the bed. "Don't leave until I fall asleep," she dragged in an uneven breath closing her eyes.

"Hn."

He said nothing more, satisfied to study her features in silence. They were delicately sculptured by fine genetic tool. Lightly, he brushed the pad of his thumb to wipe away the moisture beneath her closed lids. Assuming that she was asleep he was surprised when she called his name.

"Neji?"

"Hn?" he whispered back.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"I'll marry you," she murmured but her eyelids didn't flutter, they were too heavy for that.

Her breathing slowed and softened. When he called her name, she didn't respond. Slowing rising to his full height, he stood watching her for several minutes. Then, very quietly, he left the room.

After securely closing all windows and doors he paused at the door to give the flat another survey. Upon opening the door he stumbled upon yet another blonde chapter in the heart-rending story of his life. Silently he wondered if it'd be too much to ask for the ground to open up and swallow him.

"You're not Sakura," she puzzled, dropping the bags she carried in a haze of fatigue disbelief.

Neji shivered at the curious once-over that she gave him. Ocean blue met snow white; simultaneously they wondered what business the other had here.

"Neji?"

"Ino?"

"What are you doing here at this hour?" they chorused.

**A/N: So so sorry about the late update :( I've recently been promoted to the 12****th**** grade. But I'm finding it rather impossible to adjust, let alone, fit in. I feel like a complete outcast, and often times I wish I could just escape this feeling of purposelessness that has somewhat became a part of my being. I'm kind of alone in this battle...no one seems to understand my struggles. But I'm asking you all to be patient with me. I'll update when I can, because the truth of the matter is that, writing is my only escape. :( **

**Please Review, updates are solely dependent on your reviews, 15 or more would be nice.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**A/N: I was supposed to end this story at chapter fifteen (15) but judging by the pace, the twist and turns that the plot has taken, it'll be around 18 chapters. Thanks for reading and all the awesome reviews; where and what would I be without you all? I love you guys. *mwah***

Her cerulean orbs ran along the length of his body, supposedly formulating their own assumption as to why it was that he was leaving Sakura's house—at this hour! Her frown gradually grew deeper as their gaze held again; this time however, the tension in the atmosphere seemed almost tangible.

"It's three minutes past eleven," Ino confirmed looking at the piece of gold jewelry she wore on her wrist.

He had the strongest urge to ask her what her point was but decided against it. Instead he maintained his relaxed composure and politely asked if she needed any assistance with her bags.

She arched a brow at his obviously forged courtesy. "I must be at the wrong flat," she glanced to her left.

"No," Neji said and stood back. "Come in."

But Ino didn't move. She stared at him with dawning awareness, "Forehead?" she leaned forward and called, not once removing her eyes from the princely Hyuuga. "Forehead!" she shouted.

With his index finger to her lips he rendered her silent, "Sakura's asleep," he informed her.

"Fancy seeing you here," she muttered before retrieving her bags and stalking past him into the flat, not without roughly bumping into his side.

He followed her into the kitchen and stood to the side with his hands in his pockets. He felt oddly jittery—it was unsettling—while he watched her unpack the contents of her bags onto the cupboards and into refrigerator. "Would you like me to wake her?" he finally offered, breaking the stifling silence that has crept upon them yet again.

"That won't be necessary," Ino drawled. "I would have been here sooner but I was held up at the hospital," she found herself explaining. Then as though suddenly struck by a thought that she had been itching to voice, she turned to face him. "What are you doing here?" she asked sternly, tossing her blonde mane towards him.

"Checking up," he answered flatly.

She gave him another slow once-over. "Checking up?" she urged him on curiously. But when she saw that he wasn't going to further explain she asked, "On Sakura?"

He nodded then offered to help unpack the rest of what he presumed was Sakura's groceries. "Is any of this healthy?" he asked while he scrutinized the contents of the bags. "Sodas, microwave meals, potato chips," he noted as he threw the items one by one on the counter. "Among other garbage..." he commented.

"What's it to you?" the blonde challenged fiercely.

Slightly stirred but not conquered Neji blurted out the obvious, hoping that maybe his shallow companion would get the brighter picture, "Sakura's pregnant, she's not suppose to be feeding on this kind of junk," he tossed a bag of nachos into the garbage bin.

Ino's eyes followed the snack's flight towards its disposal and shuddered. Sakura was going to be pissed however sensible of a point Neji was making. But she'd never give him the pleasure of knowing that she agreed with him.

"Again Neji," she dragged out the last syllable of his name, "What's it to you?"

"My uncle strictly advised her against eating these high calorie grubs," he tersely replied. "And judging by how flooded her cupboards are with these things," he scoffed, "I'd say that she has developed a habit."

"These are merely sympathy snacks," she explained. "If your uncle knew anything at all he'd know that Sakura is undergoing a lot of stress and these..." she made air quotes "...garbage, as you put it, offers her temporary relief."

Neji shook his dark head, "That's one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Resorting to seeking comfort from food isn't just desperate, it's pathetic."

"Is it Neji?"

"Didn't I just say that it was?" he responded sharply.

Hands on her hips, she glared at him. "Sometimes I forget how much of a charming asshole you can be. Of course I don't expect you to understand anything Sakura's going through."

He mirrored her angry stance, planting his own hands on his hips. "And I suppose you do?"

"She's not the only one who has been done wrong by a bastard," Her eyes bore into him. "So we can relate."

Neji couldn't say that he was stunned but he was momentarily taken aback. "You're aware of the circumstances under which I got engaged to Temari. So if you're making reference to that—"

"—you were suppose to marry me Neji!" she jabbed her chest with her thumb. "Me!"

"You're going to wake Sakura," he scolded while trying to keep his voice even and low. In all honesty he never expected to get that kind of reaction from her.

"Don't tell me to be quiet!" she barked. "Do you think I'd honestly believe that your arrogant uncle whose only concern with passing on the Hyuuga name would really approve of Temari No Sabaku for your wife?"

There was nothing from Neji's end of the conversation or rather—argument.

"Hiashi is obsessed with the idea of grandchildren. Temari isn't even able to carry a damn child. It doesn't take a genius to work out that problem. And it is a problem!" Running her hand through her hair she looked away. "How is it possible that he'd give her preference over me? When I'm able to and would willingly carry your children." It sounded desperate and indeed it was.

"We've already talked about this," he reminded her.

"Why do I get the feeling that you have been stringing me along all this while?"

"I did no such thing," the Hyuuga defended himself. "Of all the women my uncle forced me into courting, you were the only one whom I had taken a genuine liking to."

"Then why Temari?" she had to asked.

"Hiashi handpicked Temari. As it turned out, it was never my decision to make to begin with."

"That is fucking absurd," she sent a helpless glance skyward.

"It is tradition," he corrected her, however reluctantly he did.

Looking him into the eye she asked, but it came off as a statement, "So we're just supposed to throw away all that we had for the sake of tradition."

Neji pondered on her question for a minute then answered, "What exactly did we have between us, Ino?" he asked seriously calm. "What besides our shared dislike of my uncle?"

She swallowed hard, "I don't have time for this shit," she waved him off. "You gave me a ring and asked me to marry you, only to find out from an article in a newspaper that you're engaged to another woman!" she laughed out. "Then you have the nerve to blame it on Hyuuga tradition."

"It is traditional for the first born sons to have arranged marriages."

"Let me guess, it slipped your mind and you forgot to cue me in, didn't it?" came her sarcastic remark.

"Actually..." he started, feeling as though he at least owed her a proper explanation. "...I am well aware of our family practices but since my parents are deceased I didn't think that particular one would apply to me."

With an agonized groan, Ino threw her arms up in the air. "I've had just about enough of this, fuck this shit, fuck your stinking tradition, fuck off and fuck you—"

Neji found himself wincing every time that profane word escaped her lips. And if looks could kill, the look Ino sent him before she stomped out of the room would have killed him, twice. Then as though she had lost all sense of direction, she strutted back helplessly into the room.

"Oh..." came her disdainful drawl. "And when you see Temari, tell her I said fuck her too."

"I didn't peg you as a..." he couldn't find a word to express his thoughts.

"A bitch?" she finished off nicely for him. "I speak my mind, Hyuuga. How did you expect me to react huh?" she glared at him. "Did you expect a pat on the back and a hearty congratulation?"

"I expected you to be mature," he gritted his teeth.

Ino looked annoyed, but then again she looked a lot of things, including homicidal. "Mature!"

"Keep your voice down, you're going to wake Sakura," he warned quietly.

"Maybe I ought to wake the whole fucking building," she pounded her fist into the palm of her other hand.

"It's not like you hadn't already succeeded in doing so," his eyes wandered to the kitchen entrance.

Seeming to have caught on, Ino spun around and stumbled upon the sight of a frowning Sakura dressed comfortably in a pair of pink boxers and a cotton t-shirt. A sad smile found its way onto the blonde's lips. "Sakura," she said in acknowledgement.

"Neji. Ino. What's going on?" the pinkette arched a brow, cautiously studying their varied facial expression. Ino didn't glare at her and Neji was still intact which means they hadn't gotten around to the part where Sakura and the baby fitted into their love-pentagon. Shucks, she was hoping to have been spared the task of doing so herself.

"Look at you!" Ino gave out snatching Sakura's arm. "If I didn't know any better, I would have mistaken you for a pink headed ghost. Tomorrow I'm taking you out for some sun."

"Ino..." Sakura growled.

"Have you had anything to eat?" Ino did her usual checkups. Sakura nodded and stole a glance at Neji who had suddenly gone rigid, supposedly considering the task at hand. "Damn it forehead, you've got a temperature!" she felt Sakura's neck with the back of her palm. "Come sit, I'll fetch a thermometer from the bathroom."

"I'm fine..."

"The last time you told me that we found out you were pregnant." And with that said she would have been off, but she felt like being a bitch. "Where are my manners?" she touched her chest. "I know that you two have already met...but what the hell," she flashed her wrist. "Sakura, meet my fucking asshole of an ex-fiancé. My fucking asshole of an ex-fiancé meet Sakura."

And with THAT said she left the room leaving Neji to fume and Sakura to puzzle at her abnormally unique sense of humor.

"I'm sorry; I didn't expect her to come over this late."

"There's no need for apologies, this confrontation was bound to happen. The sooner we get it out of the way, the better."

"For all parties involved..." she added then grinned. "You've certainly done a superb job of pissing her off."

"And to that I owe an article in the newspaper."

"You mean, she found out about the engagement through the newspaper?"

"I've tried talking to her before..." Neji admitted, then out of frustration he added. "It was my uncle's doing."

"Neji, she's like a sister to me," Sakura glanced over her shoulder to check if Ino was back among them—that she wasn't. "I value our friendship too much to do this to her," she flickered her finger from him to herself repeatedly.

"And we've already discussed that this was never about me or you, it most certainly has nothing to do with Ino either."

"She's involved!" she cried.

"You care too much."

"And you care too little," she countered.

"She'll find out eventually."

"Then let's wait until eventually," Sakura mouthed when Ino re-entered the kitchen.

"Your bathroom's a mess!" she announced sticking the thermometer between Sakura's lips. "It looks like a pack of wild animals were let loose in there."

"I would have—" Sakura protested.

"—Don't talk with the thermometer in your mouth," She warned. "It affects the reading."

Stillness pervaded the kitchen atmosphere for the few sweet minutes it lasted. In those ponderous minutes Sakura and Neji considered possible approaches to take with regards to their blonde guest. And Ino, oblivious of the wordless conversation going on around her, made herself a strong cup of coffee and was looking out the window at the dark skies when a thought struck her. "Why would you be checking up on Sakura?"

"What?" Sakura asked, the glass tube falling from lips.

Placing her cup down Ino retrieved the medical instrument and began to examine it. "When I met him at your door, he told me that he was checking up on you," then she added, "Your temperature is fine."

"I told you."

Neji shifted his weight from one leg to the other but maintained his silence.

"Neither of you had indicated that you knew each other to me before. How is it that you two became acquainted?" She narrowed her eyes at Neji. "And last time I checked, you were a lawyer. Checking up is something doctors do... unless you're a bit more familiar with each other than you let on."

"It's a long story," Sakura and Neji said in unison. Indeed it was.

"Feel free to cut it short and share," her eyes drifted suspiciously from one individual to the next. "He didn't ask you to marry him too, did he?" they knew it was sarcasm but she had hit the nail so accurately on the head, it was frightening.

"Actually—" Neji went on.

"—No!" Sakura said a bit too quickly.

Ino's azure gaze fell upon her for few seconds, "...Because he's supposedly spoken for by some infertile rich bitch," the rhyming words at the end had the effect of making her sound bitter. In fact she was.

"We met through mutual friends," Neji spoke, it wasn't a lie but it was vaguely true.

"At a party," Sakura added.

"So you find the time to party but not to clean your bathroom?"

Sakura gave a dry laugh. "A girl's only young once."

"The last time you told me that, you had eight Margarita shots too many."

"You've been drinking?" Neji fixed her an intense look.

She shook her head, silently fending off memories of the night she was about to recall. "No, that was at Temari's birthday party."

"I don't know why I had attended that party," Ino was saying. "I hated that bitch," she glowered at Neji. "And now I hate her even more."

He sighed.

"Coming to think of it forehead," Ino was frowning. "After Temari's party, you never went to another." Sakura swallowed, was that growing suspicion or was Ino just being inquisitive? "Though I'm not surprised you'd forget. After all you did drink enough alcohol to fill a wine cellar."

Sakura dry laughed again, this time Ino joined in the hilarity. Only, Ino's laughter faded and Sakura's turned into tears.

"What's wrong?" Ino held her shoulders.

"Nothing," she responded, shrugging Ino's hands from her shoulders.

"There's something that you ought to know," Neji stated, when it became clear that Sakura hadn't the slightest intention of expounding.

"You've already said enough. Anything else that you might want to add—save it!" she snarled. "Sakura, what's wrong with you?" she demanded.

"I'm not going to marry Temari," Neji said on impulse.

Ino went silent, bit her lips, looked irritably off towards the wall, then dropped her head and shook it slowly. She cleared her throat, simultaneously clearing her mind. "And I suppose you think I'd find it as some sort of consolation?" Chin held high, Ino sat down, crossed her legs with elegant flourish, and laced her fingers together on her lap. "I'm not going to marry Temari," she mimicked.

"Ino, I'm pregnant," Sakura stated hoarsely.

Thoroughly annoyed Ino rolled her eyes and replied sardonically, "Could have fooled me, and here I thought you were just fat."

Sakura would have snickered, only, this was no joking matter. "Do you remember the story that I told you about how it all happened?" She indicated what she was making reference to by pointing on her swollen abdomen.

Nodding, Ino's brows furrowed, her voice was unpleasant when she spoke, "Speaking of that, any update as to when this alleged custody hearing is?"

Sakura shrugged her shoulders.

Turning to Neji, she sat forward, "And that's where you come in?" she figured.

He nodded, however much of a misleading nod that it was.

"For both Sakura's and your sake, I hope you're a hell of a better lawyer than you are a person," she snarled. She addressed Sakura now. "You seem to have a soft spot for assholes. Here you are, with wrinkles to rival those of my grandmother's; stressing about a custody hearing for an unborn child and where's the douche bag?" She asked and was about to answer her own question when Neji beat her to it.

"Right here."

Ino looked dazedly at Neji.

Sakura blinked feeling a twinge of relief that was beyond her grasp.

There was total silence. Then Ino took a breath and asked in a voice that did seem to belong to her, "What?"

"The guy five months ago," Sakura said slowly. "It was Neji."

"What...?" she echoed, but even as she said the word, she had the awful feeling that she understood. Everything added up; Sakura's description of Neji, both their recollection of the party, Sakura's almost five month old feotus among other little details.

"I didn't—"

"—I know," Ino interrupted then quickly went silent. She should have picked it up sooner, but she had been too preoccupied with her anger towards Neji and his family, it slipped. She supposed that she had reached the pinnacle of her detestation for anything Hyuuga for she felt no need to stir up some serious shit, which was rather rare for Ino. But Neji Hyuuga... Neji Hyuuga and Sakura? She couldn't believe it. "Sakura?" she asked hoping that maybe she had somehow mistaken.

Sakura nodded.

Ino stared wide eyed as Neji came towards her—carefully. Even in fury, one simply could not disregard a man as spectacular looking as him. He exuded pure masculine confidence. "Sakura's not to blame," he told her in that sweet compelling drawl of his. She understood why Sakura would have so easily fallen into the clutches of his arm. But she just couldn't fathom any reasons as to why Neji would she.

She felt a flash of anger. Losing to Temari was something that she had gotten used to. But to Sakura... that never happened. It wasn't fair that Sakura had everything, and apparently now she had Neji to top things off. But Ino wasn't about to make a fool of herself in front of Neji. She was enough of a social animal to be gracious regardless of what she was feeling inside.

So she smiled a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "At least now I'm positive that my God child wasn't fathered by a psychopath," Her back straightened against the chair, "Though I'm not too sure the category Neji falls under is much of a step up from a maniac."

One look at Ino, and Sakura knew exactly what she was doing and feeling, "If I had known..."

She stood, "Don't be ridiculous Sakura. I have to go," she had her coat in her hand in a flash and was turning it over her shoulders as she headed towards the door.

Concerned Sakura got up then, "Ino, let's talk—"

"It's late," came her brusque reply.

"Actually, there's something else..." Sakura toyed with her fingers.

But Ino held up her hands, "Enough!" She shouted then apologized quickly. "There are only some many bombs you can drop on one person for a night."

"I'll take you home," Neji offered.

But Ino wanted to leave and leave quickly. She was failing miserably at pulling off the show she thought she'd be able to pull off with ease. She wanted to scream, yell and have a drink in the comfort and privacy of her own home...away from Sakura and Neji.

"I took my car," she informed him. "But thanks."

Sakura slipped in front of Neji; "We're still on for tomorrow?" she asked, worried that Ino would be too upset hang with her tomorrow.

"Most definitely, I'll pick you up at ten," then she bolted through the door which she slammed with such force Sakura's teeth rattled in her mouth.

It took her five minutes to digest that which she had learned of the relationship between Neji and Sakura, and another five minutes to regain her composure before she finally decided to head to the parking lot. She wasn't jealous, she told herself, nor was she angry, she was just hurt...Who was she kidding? The murderous glint in those blue eyes of hers wasn't fooling anyone. It most certainly didn't fool the young lass with whom she collided by door 127 in her effort to get to the parking lot quickly.

"Watch where you're going!" Ino barked.

"I ought to tell you to do the same!" the hooded figure growled while trying to collect the spilled contents of the hand bag she carried.

Stooping to help the woman recollect her fallen items, Ino grumbled, "Isn't it a bit too late to be snooping around?"

"I'd like to ask you the same thing."

Body lotion, mousse, mouthwash, deodorant...Ino noted. This woman carried her bathroom around. Maybe she was homeless; her attire certainly didn't do any justice to making Ino think otherwise. Toothbrush, dental floss, comb, pencil...wait, that's not a pencil. "A pregnancy test?" Ino thought aloud.

The woman snatched it away so quickly Ino was thrown off balance. "Give me that!"

They must have been making quite a ruckus because door number 127 was suddenly flung open and out came an all too familiar face. "Babe, I thought you left already?" Shikamaru asked dropping his gaze to where they were both stooping. "Babe, is everything alright?"

The woman didn't reply.

Seemingly annoyed he growled, "What is it Temari?"

"I left my keys."

His eyes widen at the sight of the Yamanaka heiress. "Ino?"

Ino was brought to a standstill, "Temari?" she asked in bewilderment. The woman's back went stiff. Then reluctantly she lifted her head to reveal bloodshot onyx eyes and a fair head of blonde hair masked beneath the hood.

"Ino?" Temari squinted her eyes to make sure she was seeing right. She hurriedly retrieved the rest of her things, stood, dusted her hands off in her jeans and asked in an impatient whisper, "What are you doing here?

"I'd like to ask you the same thing," Ino quoted her.

**A/N: It's like 11:57pm and I'm tired. I'm so sorry about the late update. I notice that I post a chapter every month and that's simply unacceptable. As I said, I'm going through a tough time. I should be updating twice a month, but as we go further into the school year, I find that I have less time to do anything. THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS and the PMS. I'm glad to know that you guys are here for me. I love you all.**

**Please Review**

**Let's see if I can get 20 :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Sadly, I've lost interest in this; but I made this chapter really long to make up for the late update. I really hope it doesn't suck.**

"Mr. Hyuuga," Neji's secretary called as Temari rounded the corner and came into sight. Holding the telephone receiver high enough to be seen above the plants rimming her station, she wiggled it and mouthed, "Your fiancée."

Burying his face into his palms Neji swore silently then mouthed regrettably, "Send her in." Her unannounced visits had become too frequent over the past months for it to be pardoned. He had a sick feeling that she was up to something but he wasn't able to wrap his finger around it. He sighed, and the fact that on every occasion Temari stopped by, she attempted to make a pass at him didn't do any justice to make him think otherwise. If she were another woman, he'd peg her strange behaviour as pre-wedding jitters. But considering that she was Temari, nothing was ever certain.

Forcing a smile to her lips Aya greeted Neji's most consistent visitor, "Good morning Miss Sa—"

"Where is my fiancé?" Temari demanded discourteously. "Is he in?"

Being accustomed to the blonde's brusque nature Aya nodded. "Yes ma'am."

Hearing this Temari increased her already rapid step, somehow managing to look thoroughly placid though she was obviously feeling otherwise. She was nearly flying, yet the only thing at all unsettling about her was the loosely fitted blazer she wore that flared out as she whisked past. Aya had always admired her conscientious disposition, if not anything else. It was by far the best quality she possessed. Temari was too vain and tactless for a woman of such charming physiognomy. She was a bitch by nature and a witch by definition and in all honesty there couldn't be a more perfect woman for Hyuuga Neji in her opinion.

"Aya," she called from over her shoulders. "Call my law firm and have my secretary check to see if any news came back on autopsy on the Natsuki case from the local precinct."

"Yes ma'am."

"Right away," she instructed, her straight skirt shifted smoothly around her legs as she entered the office. Neji Hyuuga was perched on the edge of his rib-high mahogany desk looking every bit as impatient as she felt highly strung. Strutting across the room she grinned at him.

"What is it?" he asked taking mental notes of the fact that she had stepped out of her heels and had situated two cups of coffee on his desk. Clearly she intended to stay a while. Great.

Finding her way behind his desk, she flung herself down on his lap, threw her arms around his neck and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips. It seemed somewhat ritualistic, whenever she stopped by her actions took a patterned procedure, "Good morning to you too sweetheart."

What's good about the morning, he had wanted to ask but settled for an "I'm working."

Toying with his tie she pouted, "Easy on the enthusiasm. I know you're happy to see me."

That he wasn't. "Shouldn't you be working?" he grated.

"Well..." she drawled. "I thought I'd bring my fiancé a cup of coffee," she landed another kiss on his reluctant lips and rose to her feet.

He made no attempt to hide his squirm when he wiped his lips with the back of his palm. "That's a rather polite gesture, but I'm perfectly fine with the coffee they serve here."

"You actually drink the bathwater that they pass off as coffee here?" she giggled, another uncharacteristic quirk which she had supposedly picked up.

Always one to get to the point Neji did just that, "It's highly unusual for you to come into my office and make idle chatter about something as trivial as coffee."

"What do you mean?" she sipped her latte.

"Something's obviously on your mind, what is it?" he enquired, not out of concern but because he felt obligated to ask.

"Wh-what gave you that im-impression?" she stuttered, her fingers fumbling around the cup.

He fixed her a look then took a sip from his own cup.

She took a visibly deep breath and sighed. "I spoke to Ino."

In that instant he knew where the conversation was going and it was probably in their best interest that they were both sitting for what was about to come. "Hn," was all that he managed to get out.

"You were engaged to her?"

Clandestine engagement—check, he ticked off on his invisible list of things to cover. He had been brooding over how his confrontation with Ino had gone back at Sakura's. He did very little to indicate that he hadn't wanted anybody else to know about Sakura until he was ready to break the news. Then again, even if he had, Ino wouldn't have taken it up into consideration. She wouldn't have wanted to miss out on the opportunity to cause Temari some amount of heartache or distress. Not to mention getting back at him.

"How were you going to pull off marrying two women?" she sputtered a laugh.

The long stretched out silence that followed would have stifled them both if the ringing of the telephone hadn't come to their rescue. Snatching up the receiver Neji answered. "Hyuuga."

"Sir, there's a Miss Yamanaka here to see you."

Perfect timing, just perfect!

If he were a lesser person, Hyuuga Neji would have had a heart failure. Instead he took a reassuring breath and told Aya to inform Ino that he was in a very important meeting and was unable to see her. Having both women within the same vicinity would undoubtedly result in the third world war. "Tell her I'm busy."

But after hearing that Ino was being very insistent upon seeing the Hyuuga prodigy, he felt a bit uneasy. If Ino wasn't good at anything else; she was good at making scenes. And that was the last thing that he needed. Temari on the other hand was a bit more civil, she understood boundaries. But when opposing Ino there was no telling when she'd be pushed too far.

"Tell her I'll see her in a few," he replaced the receiver and found a pair of apprehensive onyx eyes studying him closely. His spine went still. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Why would you tell Aya to tell your visitor that you're in a meeting when you're clearly not?"

"For the same reason you do it all the time," came his flat reply. "Besides I want to ensure that you have my undivided attention." It was a pitiful attempt at expressing regard, even for the stoic, lordly natured Hyuuga.

Temari who would usually just eat up the slightest indication of liking from Neji was awfully skeptic. "Who was that?" she arched an eyebrow.

It all made sense now; Temari wasn't just taking him lunch, bringing him coffee or making passes at him. She was making a statement; reminding them both of the matrimonial bond they shared. Almost as though she were unsure of where they stood. To be honest, Neji wasn't sure himself. But it was rather odd for the overly confident woman to second guess herself. Unless it was that someone made her doubtful. He wasn't sure whether it was out of retaliation or sheer mischief but he knew for a fact that the whole thing reeked of Ino.

"It was Ino."

"Ino?" Temari scoffed clutching the end of her skirt until her knuckles went white. "What is she doing here?"

"I'd like to ask you to same question," the topic of conversation stormed into the room with a frantic Aya rushing in after her. With her hands on her hips and a monstrous glint in her cerulean eyes she glowered at the rivaling blonde. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry sir; she marched right past me—"

"Leave us," he instructed with an urgent, dismissive wave of his hand. He can't say that he hadn't anticipated Ino's barging in, but he hadn't expected it to be so sudden. Aya must have mentioned that Temari was here as well. Poor thing... she didn't linger a second longer than necessary least she was forcibly dragged into what could result in a calamitous climax.

"I'm his fiancée," Temari declared in response to Ino's redirected question.

"So was I," Ino reminded her.

"Well you must not have been too good at it because I got the job now," Temari countered smugly.

"Don't flatter yourself."

"It's hard to believe that a man of such fine stature as Neji would stoop to the level of picking up street trash like yourself." She crossed her legs and folded her arms across her chest.

"And I was the best piece of street trash that he ever had," she seem to gloat.

"You have no class."

"And yet that's still more class than you can ever dream of having."

Neji sat back in his chair sipping his coffee thinking that he'd sit this one out. It was rather pretentious of him but he did relish chick conflict to some extent. And what's better than being an actual participant in the feud... being the actual cause of it. Though his reasoning behind keeping his lips sealed was quite legit; interrupting might trigger bad reactions from both females. Ino could retaliate by making mention of Sakura and Temari, having had enough would most likely confront his uncle. So he decided that when they were ready to behave like mature women, then and only then he'd step in. Well, given that they refrained from any bloodshed.

Uncrossing her legs Temari rose to full length, "You have no right to be here. So Leave!"

Never one to back down from a challenge Ino took a bold step towards her. But instead of granting Temari the privilege of a crude comeback she shifted her weight to the other foot and addressed Neji, "I came here to talk to you, not to argue with your bitch," seeing the frown deepen on Temari's face, she smirked and requested sweetly, "Neji please put this thing on a leash."

"That's enough," he held up his hands, no one deserved to be spoken about in such a degrading manner.

"Why you little witch!" Temari made a grab but Ino had already stepped around her.

"Easy girl," Ino laughed.

Temari who clearly wanted to give Ino a piece of her mind, refused to succumb to the ways of a lowlife. "You have no business here," she finally said through clenched teeth.

Ino burst into a peeling gaiety of laughter. "Well neither do you sweetheart. Because the sign outside clearly stated that no pets were allowed." Making a theatrical gesture Ino cried, "How ever did you get in?"

"Not the same way you got in, I can guarantee you that," Temari flashed her blonde mane. "Unlike you, I don't have to spread my legs as a means of persuasion."

"Neji didn't need persuasion," she shook her head and said as-a-matter-of-factly. "In fact—"

"—In fact I've heard enough and if you two plan on continuing this pointless argument, I suggest that you take your nonsense elsewhere," Neji boldly interjected, realizing that their conversation would probably take a turn for the worst.

"How could you have been blinded by this wretched thing? She's hardly in any position to be classified as a woman."

"I'm all woman," she turned up her nose—proud as a peacock, "Neji can attest to that. Can't you Neji-kun?" she purred his name and winked. "But I'm not here to gloat..." she grinned wickedly. "...unless you'd like us to swap stories of our encounters with your fiancé?"

Temari was utterly appalled, "I've got enough of my own, thank you very much."

She giggled in triumph.

Neji shuddered, "What do you want Ino?"

"Yes, what do you want tramp?" Temari hissed.

"It's okay sweetheart," Ino told her. "There's no need to translate, I don't speak bitch."

Groaning out of frustration Temari took a short walk around the room. Clearly counting from one to ten did nothing to calm her. Each time she made it ten she saw herself strangling the life out of that she-devil.

"I might have to get animal control on the line; we can't have an angry bitch on the loose now, can we?"

"You've made your point, I'm a bitch," she rolled her eyes. "It's only because I've learnt from the best."

"Glad to have been of service," Ino was thoroughly flattered. Sliding her derriere along the smooth surface of the desk, she crossed her legs and sat leaning towards Neji. Mindful of the envious fair-headed beauty boring holes in her back she snatched Neji's tie and ran a hand along the length of it.

"Get off my desk," he warned removing her hand from his clothes. "It's not appropriate."

Ino pouted, batting her long lashes, "Why are you being so civil all of a sudden? You hadn't told me to get out of your bed because it was inappropriate, what's so different about a desk?"

Temari's eyes and nostrils flared.

Neji growled and turned away from Ino's penetrating gaze, "Get off."

Ignoring his death glare she chortled and poked his nose. "You were always so cute when you're being an asshole."

"You're passing your place," Temari tugged Ino's arm, relieving the desk of her weight. She looked as though she was ready to wrestle Ino to the ground. Oh how much she wanted to.

"Get your hands off me!" Wriggling her arm free of Temari's iron grip Ino straightened her skirt, "It's my place to pass," she admitted boldly.

The phone rang; almost reluctantly Neji picked it up, "What's the matter now?" he demanded. "I specifically gave you instructions..."

It sounded like a personal call, Temari thought to herself. Taking advantage of the fact that Neji seemed to have gotten completely engrossed in his conversation on the phone she turned to address the witch.

"Why are you really here?" She whispered urgently. "Surely you aren't here for the purpose of flirting with my fiancé."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say someone's a tad bit too jumpy when I'm around Neji," Ino smirked. "Neji isn't on my agenda anymore, that ship has sailed."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to congratulate Neji," she smiled cruelly. "Fatherhood proves to be a new and exciting chapter in his life."

Temari's brow and lips came together in a frown. "What are you talking about?" she asked with a strange tightness Ino had never heard in her voice before.

There was a moment of silence inaugurated by Ino to build tension and suspense...tsk, drama queen.

"You haven't told him?" she asked in pretence oblivion—pointing at Temari's relatively flat abdomen. "This baby is but a miracle, why keep it a secret?"

Temari's gaze shifted awkwardly to Neji then returned to Ino's artificial sympathizing facade. She fidgeted visibly and swallowed, "I don't know what you're talking about..."

"Drop the act!" her voice rose a little bit over a whisper. "The pregnancy test you took read positive."

"I don't know what you're getting at but—"

"You're pregnant."

"And?" she demanded defensively.

Ino growled then continued in her hushed tone, "And it isn't Neji's child."

"I wouldn't bet money on it," she dared.

"You two have never slept together before," Ino pointed out bluntly.

She was completely taken aback. "An-and how wo-would you know th-that?" she stuttered.

Her eyes bore into Temari. "Neji and I are far closer than he actually lets on," the suggestive look on her face spoke for itself. "Besides if you two had... then you'd be a lot less bitter."

"Please don't say anything to Neji I—" she seemed to have choked on her words.

"—am a whore," Ino finished her sentence knowing damn well that Temari wasn't about to say that but found the ending rather suiting anyways.

"I'm going to get rid of it!" Temari announced having long forgotten the importance of keeping her voice down.

Ino didn't respond at first, and when she did, her eyes were averted. "Don't be stupid. After the accident you were told that you'd never be able to conceive—"

"I lied."

Ino was stunned, "What?"

"I lied," she repeated in a voice much calmer and steadier than her insides.

"Why?"

She took a deep breath and look from Ino to Neji, "Both our families were insistent that we marry each other," she looked at her bare feet. "Neji clearly loathed the idea and I..."

Softening Ino asked, "You what?"

"I was already pregnant."

Ino's eyes widen but her brows furrowed. "But you'd be showing by now if you had been pregnant that long."

"That's because I had terminated that pregnancy," she whispered quickly, almost inaudibly. Then hesitantly she continued. "I hadn't told my folks about the relationship that I had been in at the time, out of fear that they'd disapprove. So when I was forced into courtship with Neji, there was little that I could do."

It didn't take a genius to interpret the stricken look on Ino's face. She was quiet but obviously in deep thought.

"I had no choice," Temari said but it did little to relinquish the look on Ino's face. "If it's any consolation my boyfriend dumped me when he found out," she shook her head and chuckled sadly.

"I don't blame him."

"Then the Hyuuga brought up the prospect of marriage. My family thought it was the natural thing to do as I had grown so fond of Neji and his family, though it was obviously not a mutual feeling on Neji's part. I could see why," she looked Ino up and down. "But Neji's indifference towards me became the least of concern when I found out that I was with-child."

"So killed your own child for a shot at what? Savaging what was left of your pride?"

Temari openly winced. "It was never a matter of pride. After I found out, I was utterly mortified. I knew that birthing Neji's child would ultimately seal an alliance between both our families and that it was the prime reason behind our engagement. They wanted a merger between the Hyuuga and Sabaku bloodline..." she broke off into tears. "I figured that if I couldn't give them that, then they'd see our engagement as pointless."

"So you staged an accident and lied about being unable to conceive as a result of that accident?" Ino figured, but asked anyways.

"Yes."

"And then what?"

"And then nothing," Temari cried bitterly. "Hiashi simply explained the concept of having my eggs fertilized outside my womb then implanted in a female carrier," she took a long deep sad sigh. "I didn't even know that was possible, but with evolving technology I guess anything is."

"Did your ex find out about the baby?"

She nodded but offered nothing more.

"Was that after or before you had the abortion?" Ino snarled.

"I panicked," she gritted her teeth. "I couldn't risk the shame it would have brought down on my family." Temari said and focused unseeingly at Neji who had turned his back to them, gone deep into his conversation. "Most importantly, I didn't want to lose Neji."

"Have you no respect for human life?"

"It was for the greater good," she argued with hushed urgency. "I can always have another child, there's only one Neji."

"You're fucking sick," Ino shook her head and drew away from her. "And you're willing to do the same thing again for what?"

"The man I love."

"You don't love Neji, Temari," Ino said quietly. "If you did, you'd have never gotten yourself into this situation...again."

"I made a mistake, and I'll fix it," she grumbled.

"At the cost of a life?" she whispered, having realized that Neji was awfully quiet. "What you assume that you feel for Neji isn't real. If it was, then you wouldn't be sneaking around with Shika—"

"—I gave up a lot for Neji."

Ino's eyes were hard, Temari saw with an inward flinch. "No you gave up a lot for you!" she said and heard the anger in her voice.

"We're not all like you. Not all women are after money, some of us are genuine," she snapped though her eyes glazed. With her hair flying, she whirled around, gathered her things and left while she still had the last word.

The door slammed jolting Neji's head in the direction of the closed door. He did not look pleased—pissed being an understatement.

If Temari had exited right after she had confessed that she wasn't carrying Neji's child, then Ino would have smiled at a job well done. But given the turn their conversation took and the data that her brain was still trying to process, she was awfully resentful. She felt sympathy towards her; the woman had obviously gone through a lot. She couldn't imagine having to choose between terminating her pregnancy or face disgracing her family.

Then she thought of Sakura who kept her baby and faced the humiliation it brought upon herself and her parents. The blonde guessed that she and Temari were more alike than she thought. Because if it were that she was in Temari's position, she wouldn't have continued with the pregnancy either, given what was at stake—the man they both loved.

It seemed rather hypocritical of her to regret that she hadn't pushed the idea of abortion more, now that she knew Sakura was pregnant with Neji's child. It made her a horrible person, a terrible friend and a bitch. But she was okay with that. Sometimes, in order to get that which is desired, one has to be a bitch.

"Where's Temari?" Neji asked dragging Ino out of thought.

She gave a weak smile as she watched him walk towards her. "She left," Ino beamed proudly.

His eyes widened only a fraction, "What did you—"

Neji Hyuuga was among many things, smart, irresistibly charming, arrogant, devastating handsome, a heartbreaker and perhaps the faltering centre of all their worlds—the sun which they revolve around—the planet to which their varying obligations orbits. Temari, the successful lawyer of wealthy background and distinguish family finds her top priority being earning his affections because she had sacrificed so much to be with him—an obligation which could very well lead to an obsession. Sakura, the pregnant nurse who finds her life undergoing construction in order to facilitate living on his terms, because she's obligated to make him a part of their child's life. Then there's Ino, the glamorous blonde beauty of equally fine stature as the lawyer though choosing to dedicate her life to saving lives and keeping the man she loves out of the clutches either women.

It then occurred to her that Neji might be the villain here, "—I told her the truth," she left her sentence hanging feeling the need to induce some heartache on the stoic male.

Thrusting a handful of fingers through his hair, which fell right back down on his brows, he glanced towards the door. Frustration was written all over his face. "I think you should leave," he said after a while.

"I didn't mention Sakura," she sighed.

He studied her closely, mumbling what could very well be considered a sorry excuse of expressed gratitude, "Thank you."

The more vindictive side of her wanted to have mentioned Sakura to Temari. But she respected their friendship too much to set a raging sociopath (Temari) on her case. Regardless of the fact that right now, she liked Sakura just as much as she did Temari, forehead didn't deserve such an upset.

"I didn't do it for you," she spat gingerly.

"But I'm still grateful."

"I still can't believe it...you and Sakura," she looked at him, startled to see his expression. "I half anticipated you and Temari, she always stole my boyfriends," again she gave him a weak smile, but it didn't last long. In the instant before she closed her eyes, he could have sworn he saw a well of sadness in them.

"I'm sorry," he touched her cheek and lightly stroked her hair. "I didn't intend for any of this to happen."

"I know," she said opening her eyes. "But sorry is not going to fix anything."

"You deserve better Ino. I can't offer you that."

"But you can offer Sakura better?" she frowned, pulling away from him.

"We're having a child together Ino, I have—"

"—just stop it," she demanded. "Stop throwing your child in my face."

He felt a sudden and unexpected twinge of sadness. "That's not what I was doing."

She shook her head and closed her eyes, "I deserve to be happy too," her eyes began to water.

Expressing sympathy wasn't something that came easily when one grew up in the Hyuuga household. On impulse he pulled her into an awkward embrace. "Don't cry," he pled.

Her smile was full this time, if a bit helpless. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He could be so sweet and gentle when he was ready, she thought. And she was just grateful that she was one of the few who got to witness this side of him. "You make me happy."

Neji lightly stroke her tear-stained cheek, "I'm flattered."

Half expecting invitation and half expecting rejection, she threw her arm around his neck and opened her mouth over his. In the instant their lips made contact he jerked his head with an expression of disgust not at her, but at himself. They stared at each other.

Simultaneously their lips parted. Ino's gaze washed over his features, studying, probing, searching for something.

At first his countenance appeared frozen, absolutely unyielding, but then she watched, his features seemed to sag. "What was that?"

Shrugging her shoulders, she turned her head, looking away from his questioning eyes. An odd embarrassment inhabited her mind. "I guess I misread the way you were looking at me."

He was staring at her, and just for a second, just before he blinked and rearranged his expression, she caught a glimpse of his confusion. "How?" he asked.

"Like the way you look at Sakura."

Ino's words played over and over again in his head, even after she had exited his office. What was she insinuating? Had he subconsciously given her something to ponder on that may have led to this insinuation? Did he look at Sakura any differently than how he would another person? Pfft...Such notion was ridiculous; of course, insupportable by logics prompted only by Ino's pure resentment.

OoOoOoOo

The driver had barely braked to a stop before Ino jumped out and stalked into the building in pursuit of Sakura's apartment. She was stumbling through the door of Sakura's flat when she noted that the place was still in darkness which meant that Sakura was probably still asleep.

Ino's first glance at the kitchen clock caused a painful grimace, "That's great Ino, its eleven o'clock. Which means that Forehead's appointment was two hours ago," she muttered to herself as she headed towards Sakura's open bedroom door. She had already turned and thrown open the draperies to let in the sun when she belatedly realized that Sakura's bed this morning, for the first time since she had known her, held two sleepers.

She turned, despite her embarrassment, to verify what she had seen, but what her mind had not yet accepted. It seemed the soft light of morning that stole into the room did not disturb the other occupant of the four post bed as much as it did Ino who was sent into spasms of terror. She would have cleared her throat but Neji's eyes were already open, watching her reaction. They filled with amusement at the sudden flood of colour in her cheeks.

Quietly through narrowed eyes she watched as Sakura Haruno slept—the pink banner of her curls spread across the pillow they shared, her cheek cushioned against Neji's shoulder, and her slim fingers lost in the cotton t-shirt which covered his chest. One of her long slender legs lay across his body; probably placed there on purpose, Ino thought bitterly.

"Pardon my intrusion," she said aloud, beginning her retreat backward across the tiled floor.

"Ino?" Sakura's head shot up, but before she got the chance to say another word the door slammed, followed by the sound of another. Wiping the grogginess from her eyes she turned to Neji and asked, "What happened?" Her lips parted after she caught up with the reality of what had transpired. "Oh no…"

Seeing the look on her face he felt the need to reassure her, "You weren't feeling well, I was worried, it was late…" She sat up and fixed him a face, "Nothing happened," he said finally.

"I know that. Ino doesn't."

He held her eyes a moment, "She'll come around."

"I thought I could do this..." she threw back the covers and slipped into a silk robe. Lazily flinging her feet into a pair of bed slippers she smoothed down her hair and began pouncing about the room. "She hates me. She really hates me," she cried. "And after Temari finds out, she's going to hate me too. Then when your uncle finds out, I'll be out of a job."

He stood, "You shouldn't be working in the first place."

"How else am I supposed to support myself—?"

"—by leaning on me."

"I can't allow myself to do that."

"Why not?"

"Because that's what people do when their in love, this..." she pointed from him to herself repeatedly, "...this isn't love, it's a business arrangement."

"Indeed it is." He took her hands in his, "But you have to understand that I'm trying to do what's best for my child. If you're feeling skeptic, have your lawyer look it over but I promise that you'll find the terms of the contract suiting," he pointed to the papers lying by her dressing table.

"Contract?" she snatched her hand away, quickly fetched the sheets of paper and ran her eyes over its content. Part-way through the document, she was brought to an incredulous halt after the printed words finally sunk in her head. Sakura's mouth dropped in a surprised circle. Could one man be this infuriating?

She glanced back up at him and frowned, her hand dropping mindlessly to her side. "You're unbelievable. Surely you don't expect me to sign over five years of my life to you."

"I didn't mean to upset you," his face cleared like sunrise as he apologized, his strong and chiselled features were tampered with a charming vulnerability. "But I'm a lawyer, I like having everything formalized in writing."

"I already agreed to marry you..." she argued then a thought struck her. "You don't trust me do you...?" She pressed her lips together in a white line of frustration, and her voice was bitterly petulant. "I gave you my word!"

"Even so, how can I be sure that one day you won't take my child and leave?" He asked quietly searching her eyes.

She gave a dry laugh, "A contract is not going to guarantee that or any other concerns you may have."

"I guess you haven't gotten around to reading the consequences for a breech in the contract yet," he shrugged.

She looked down at the paper in her hand, read through it quickly then looked back at him with an expression of stupefaction. "If any regulations outlined in the contract is violated, full custody of the child goes to—"

"Me."

"That's not fair."

"I'm just taking the necessary precautions. As I said before, feel free to have a lawyer look it over."

"How about I have Temari look it over?" she challenged.

"I'm sure she'd agree with me that it's a pretty solid contract," he smirked.

Sakura was just sucking in a huge breath that was bound to explode when something on the paper before her caught her attention. "It says here that I'm entitled to a third of your riches after five years?" she indulged the thought for a moment.

"Yes. And during the five years you're welcome to the option of seeking further employment, staying home with our child or going back to school. It's your call."

Sakura shook her head sadly, closed her eyes and let a long sigh escape from her pursed lips. "I can't do this!" she exclaimed finally. The terms of the contract all seemed legit, in fact he seemed to have everything all planned out and under control but this was blackmail. One had to be completely out of his or her mind to agree to five years of servitude under the command of this Hyuuga brute. A lot can happen in a year, imagine what those little flutters in her heart can evolve into after five years.

"I understand that it's a lot to digest in one sitting—"

"—No you don't understand. I can't agree to this. It goes against everything I stand for." The thought brought her to a pause, and she went quiet. What exactly did she stand for? "I'm almost eight months along the way; you said that in order for the baby to be a legitimate heir he or she has to be born inside of wedlock," she mumbled to point out.

There it was again, the old conflict between instinct and rational thought. He couldn't help but feel like the villain when she looked at him as though he had annihilated any hope of her ever witnessing bliss again. And yet, try as he might to dispel the feeling, it startled him. "Once you've signed the contract we're legally married."

Her eyes held his, "No ceremony?"

At this, Neji's mouth twitched slightly, as if he would smile, but all he did was nod once. "Sentimental type?" he asked.

"I just thought that a traditional wedding would be more convincing," she said casually glancing down at her feet, or at least what she could see of it. That shit had to be illegal...though coming to think of it, a couple is not legally married after the ceremony but after the signing off of the documents.

"For the sake of keeping everything on a professional level..." he argued.

She lifted her eyes slowly to Neji's face, absolutely powerless to move, mystified by the realization of what he said. Her face flushed with emotion, her eyes bright. Somewhere along the line of planning a travestied life together she had allowed herself to anticipate the real thing. Her mouth opened as if to speak but helplessly closed again.

Neji caught his breath at the sight of Sakura's face, suddenly sagging with the dull heartbreaking astonishment of one who had seen hope fragmented and thrown out. "A ceremony can be arranged..." he murmured, cursing himself for the unknown mistake that had shattered the light in her eyes and visibly upset her.

She said nothing, merely turned her head away.

He took her gently by the shoulders and bent his handsome head to study her expression closer. "What's wrong?" He captured her chin between thumbs and forefinger then tipped it upward gently. "Sakura... What is it?"

She shook her head slightly then looked down once more, "I can't do this." The tears came freely, "If we do this, I'll lose everything. I can't afford that."

"You'll have me," he didn't know what possessed him to past such a misleading remark, arrogance perhaps.

"No, I'll have a part in this charade which you initiated," she cried pushing flat-handed against his chest.

"You're not doing this for me," he said quietly. "You keep forgetting that."

"I'm beginning to doubt that."

It was his time to close his eyes and rub his hand across his mouth. "We're doing this for our child," he said thickly. He sensed that there was two conversation taking place here, one in words and one on a sunken level of raw emotions that could never find meaning through words alone. He frowned at the way her faced tightened, then crumpled as she dropped her chin to her chest. He said her name pleadingly.

Sakura sagged a little as if his words had taken all the air out of her, "I'm only a priority until I've had your child," she admitted bitterly, then raised her eyes to meet his.

He didn't need to hear more. Lowering his mouth he captured her mouth in a kiss that was as profound as the guilty passion they shared. She mirrored his every stroke, welcoming the intrusion of his tongue as it sidled against hers. Fearful that the slightest sound of protest from her would result in a halt she threw her arms around his neck, strained against his frame then burst into flames.

So many nights she'd lain awake, alone and lonely at night, lost in fantasy. She half thought she was fantasizing now. The insecurities that had plagued her were forgotten, crowded out by the wealth of the sensation his mouth brought on. The gentleness of his hands as they held her head, the strength of his body as he bent to her, it all excited her. The chill of the morning's air on his cheek and the scent of heated male skin beneath his clothes intrigued her.

But within a matter of seconds Neji drew back, all trace of the passion, she swore she had seen earlier dispersed into the thin air. "Get dressed; I've scheduled an appointment for you with a private obstetrician".

Her cheeks pale, stunned at his sudden mood change and abruptness. "That must have been why Ino came over," she slammed her palm against her forehead in frustration. "She's never going to accept this."

"Hn"

"The same way you'll never accept this relationship either."

He stared at her, completely taken aback. He drew his chin back, searching himself, testing his assertion against his own experience, his own heart. And found it appallingly true. "The circumstance under which we're forming our union is rather unfortunate," he said, his voice softening despite of him. Then some perversely arrogant part of him added, "But I can't allow room for scandal."

She groaned inwardly, "People are not toys Neji; you can't manipulate them with your money and power just to get what you want."

"I clearly remember you accepting the offer I made to have your hand in marriage," he pointed out.

Pain-roused defiance raced up her spine, straightening it. "Do you think that you can bribe me with your influence and wealth?"

She could scarcely catch her breath as he edged forward on her, clearly wrestling with something inside him. "Do you think so little of me?" he sort of smirk.

"Why shouldn't I?" her face began to flame. "After all you used your power and influence to blackmail me into marriage."

"I can't recall ever exercising societal power against you," with every word he drew closer again. Then suddenly he was towering over her, radiating heat and tension and filling her every sense. "So maybe you're speaking of another power..."

He saw her struggling with her emotions and realized that the shell she had drawn around her since their rediscovery of each other was thinner that he expected. She swallowed, "What time is the appointment?" she started awkwardly past him for the bathroom.

In that moment his throat constricted. His mouth dried. And his insides began sliding towards his knees as he realized Ino's inaccuracy. It was never a matter of how he looked at Sakura per se; it was how Sakura looked at him!

OoOoOoOo

Patience has never been Neji's forte. He hated it. And the mere fact that in all his few years he had only ever had people waiting on him, it made waiting to see Sakura's doctor all the more infuriating. In the half an hour that they had been waiting Sakura had kept her nose buried in a magazine that he swore she had browsed through at least twelve times. She was probably just trying to evade conversation, he concluded. This was fine with him anyways since he wasn't much of a talker. He valued silence, but as much as he hated to admit it this one was a bit too loud for his liking.

"We never spoke of living arrangements," Sakura offered, having read his mind.

"I've been meaning to get to that," Neji admitted but offered nothing more, not wanting to appear too anxious about having eradicated of the stillness that had engulfed them.

Sakura gave him an eye, "We all can't fit in my apartment."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

She rolled her eyes at his obvious lack of appreciation for an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I've already sold your apartment," he announced, Sakura's jaws dropped. "In a few days the buyer will be moving in, which means that in a few days you need to be moving out."

Disbelief clouded her features, "That's absurd. How can you sell what doesn't belong to you?"

"You signed the contract," was all the explanation needed. Then he went on to add, "The money would have been wired into your account except that it was used to pay off the loan you had borrowed for the purchase in the first place."

"The money could not have covered the—"

"—debt? Yes I know. The apartment even had to be sold for a little under what you had originally paid for it. But I made up the difference from the loan so that's taken care of."

There was a long pause, "Honestly, I don't know whether to be grateful or upset," she grinded her teeth. "You went behind my back!" she exclaimed. "When did you do all of this?"

"After you signed the contract..."

"Three hours ago?" she looked at her wrist watch for confirmation. "How exactly?" she asked but then all those phone-conversations during breakfast at the restaurant and the drive to the doctor's office started to make sense. "Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe I would have liked to voice my opinion on the matter, considering that it was my apartment?"

He had the audacity to shake his head. Then to top it all off he added his signature "Hn".

It sent Sakura into raging bitch mode. "Carrying your child doesn't make me your puppet or property," she snapped aloud.

Three words came to mind. What. The. Fuck? Sighing, he responded bluntly, "No, but being my wife does."

"Low blow, even from you," her voice rose—echoes bouncing off the walls of the empty and narrow hallway.

"You're overreacting."

"You fucking sold my house without my consent," she gritted her teeth. "This is under-reacting!" The vehemence in her voice stunned even Sakura herself.

"Calm down," he said cautiously, having realized that this could result in another one her pregnancy episodes—code for hysteria. He was just grateful there were no sharp objects nearby at least he hopes. Least she feel the need to reenact a scene from their breakfast this morning where she threatened their waiter with a fork. It was mighty serious at the time, though looking back, he felt like curling up and dying of hysteric laughter. But if she kept this up, he'd personally make sure that they passed a law against pregnant women. Anywhere within a twenty metre radius of one should be deemed a hazard zone.

"I'm thirsty!" she announced getting up on wobbly legs.

Neji stood, ushering her to sit. "I'll get it—"

"—I've got it!" she barked.

"You clearly don't. Now sit," he demanded. "You can barely manage yourself as it is."

One minute he heard sobbing, the next he found himself conscience-stricken for having indirectly called Sakura fat. And then before he knew it, he was sitting on the bench alone wondering why the hell he had allowed her to go to the cafe down the road by herself. Sigh, pregnant women...

When Sakura returned minutes later her countenance seem to have gone through complete transformation. Neji however wore a dark scowl on his face. "I know that's not coffee in your hand," sarcasm at its best.

Her mouth went dry, "Of course not," she replied equally contemptuous. "It's orange juice."

"Sure smells like it, and I'll have that cup," Neji held out his hand. Such indiscipline, he thought to himself.

"Don't you have a home?" she frowned. "Go there and make your own damn coffee," she was defiant but in the end the cup was effortlessly removed from her grasp.

"How thoughtful of you to have brought me coffee," came the repulsive laughter that sadly hadn't been followed by the sound of choking as Sakura had hoped.

"Hyuuga!" a fair head of flame red curls stuck out from inside the doctor's office.

"That's us," Neji said setting his cup aside. "Let's go."

Clutching unto Neji's arm Sakura quietly entered the room.

Dr. Takumi was a busty redhead in her early thirties. Green eyed and curvy, she must have all the men from here to Suna swooning over her, Sakura thought to herself. She stole a quick sideway glance at Neji who seemed too caught up in his own beauty to notice anybody else's. For once she was grateful the heavens had blessed him with arrogance. But the lovely lady seemed to be more interested in Neji's arm candy rather than the handsome hunk himself. It was rather unusual; Neji had the type of face and presence that commands attention...and affection.

"Sakura right?" Dr. Takumi asked.

She nodded in response.

"How are you feeling today Sakura?" she beamed brightly.

Lousy, fat, tired, nauseous, fat, miserable... "I'm doing fine."

"That's great," she conjured up another one of those silly grins. "Let's see what the little one is up to today," After she instructed Sakura to lie so she could examine her, she went about making preparations for the conduction of Sakura's ultrasound. Unable to resist the urge Dr. Takumi tried to engage Neji in small talk. However all her efforts were politely shot down.

"It's likely that you'll go into labour in a few weeks. Keep all activities on your feet to a minimal," she resorted to conversing with the glowering pinkette. "I trust that you'll ensure she does this?" she turned to Neji once more.

The woman looked as though she would have squealed when he finally addressed her, "You can count on that," he gave Sakura a stern look.

Sakura wanted to puke. Can women stoop any lower? Men did the _coming on_; women were responsible for the _turning on__._ Not the other around. So please keep in alignment with the _fucking tradition_—pun intended. At least Sakura had an excuse, she was drunk and not just by the alcohol but by Neji's deceiving charm. But this woman was stone sober, not to mention a pedophile. She could be his mother! Okay, so maybe she was exaggerating, but who could blame her? The bitch was trespassing private property.

"Sweetie..." ironically the word sounded bitter when referring to Neji. "Could you get me a bottle of water?"

He arched a brow at her but yield nevertheless.

When he left, Sakura grinned in victory. Seemingly having caught up with Sakura, Dr. Takumi flushed, flashing Sakura a sort of kiss-my-ass smile. "Have you had any contractions lately?" she asked, assuming the role she was supposed to be playing from the beginning. Not that of the foolish woman hitting on a man who she'll probably end up getting hit for.

"Plenty."

She began to document things on her notepad. "Do you still suffer from morning sickness?"

"Occasionally..."

"Are you on any medication?"

"Yes, my husband..." the phrase sounded so foreign coming from her mouth. "...has a copy of the last prescription I received."

There was a moment of silence as she continued to jot down things. Then suddenly Dr. Takumi's head rose from the clip board, "How long have you two been married?"

The question seemed every bit as out of place as it did innocent. "Not long," Sakura answered.

"Ahh...young love," she heaved a long sigh as if being brought on a trip down memory lane. "How did you meet? Were you high-school sweethearts?"

Well we were formally introduced five months after we slept together. "Something like that."

"I'm about to begin, but I would like it if your husband is in here too."

I bet you would, Sakura thought rolling her eyes inwardly.

"He tells me that this is your first appointment together. It's such a shame you're almost through your last trimester. I trust that when baby number two comes around you'll take all your appointments together. Child-birth is such a beautiful process—every aspect of it."

Baby number who?

There certainly won't be a number two.

She gave a nervous laugh, "That'd be in the distant future." Very distant...

"Best have them whilst you're still young."

While she was applying a jelly-like substance to Sakura's stomach she heard shuffling in the room. From where she laid she couldn't see a thing beyond her huge gut. But she figured Neji had arrived. Reclaiming peace of mind, she closed her eyes and relished the feel of the cool gel on her skin and his presence.

"You're here already?" the red-head announced blissfully. "I'm about to do an ultra-sound. You're welcome to stay if you'd like to see what a baby looks like inside the womb."

"I'll pass; every minute spent looking at that thing is going to make me wish I had tried to get rid of this sooner."

That voice.

She knew it anywhere.

Sakura's eyes flew open at the blatant resentment evident in the cruel statement.

"There's always adoption..."

"Going through with this was never an option. You knew that, but instead you for manipulated me into making the period where abortion was possible pass. I ought to sue you." It wasn't just a threat; it was a promise that would be kept.

"Sue me and this scandalous arrangement goes public," Takumi threatened. Pity, Sakura didn't peg her as the blackmailing type.

The pinkette sat up, turning towards the quarrelling duo, stupefied at the negative implications the current plight has for her relationship with Neji.

Then suddenly the door opened again, this time to reveal a terribly mortified Neji, who upon stumbling upon the scene unfolding before his eyes and the ensuing chaos, dropped the water bottle. At that precise moment everyone seemed to have spoken at the same time.

"There you are, are you ready to see your baby?" Takumi managed to smile at him.

"You tried to have an abortion?" Sakura's voice was low and laden with suppressed emotion. On impulse she wrapped her arms around her mid-section, her eyes glowering at their unanticipated guest. She in turn snarled at Sakura.

It didn't take the genius side of Neji to put two and two together, "Temari you're pregnant?" Neji asked with a hint of surprise, his eyes filled with renewed tension.

"Neji's baby?" Temari's voice choked, trembling all the way to her knees. "Neji's baby?" she repeated, looking back and forth at the guilt-stricken faces. "Dr. Takumi what's the meaning of this?"

**A/N: Yes I know. What. The. Fuck? Another Cliffy but if you expected anything less then you obviously don't know me that well. **

**I'm so sorry for the late update but school has been such a bitch these days. There's always so much to do and so little time. I had originally wrote a Christmas chapter but I was having computer problems and by the time everything was all sorted out Christmas was long gone so I had to start the chapter over. I'm so sorry guys, believe me I wish I could publish a chapter for you every week. But school forbids that. Please do review! I'm seriously going to need the feedback for inspiration and motivation.**

**15 to 20 Reviews and you've guaranteed yourselves an UPDATE ^-^**


	15. Chapter 15

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**A/N: Sorry about the late update but I decided to finish all my exams first before I posted anything. Couldn't handle the distraction as I'm at crucial point in my life, you know how it is. And now I've actually landed a summer job at an insurance company, and it gets hectic. My sincere apologies. Thanks for your patience, understanding and your reviews ^_^ believe it or not this will be wrapped up in the next couple of chapters and hence the chapters here on after will be long and very eventful. **

The tension in the room was palpable.

It was almost as though the seconds prior to the first outburst were prolonged. The entire world around them went into a state of reticence in preparation for the looming mayhem. For a moment they all just stared at each other, not trusting themselves to utter a word. The only movement was that of the plastic bottle rolling from where it had hit the ground to stop before Temari. Her dark eyes drifted south then followed suit the bottle's previous route. It was like fire meeting ice when her gaze locked with Neji's.

"Sakura couldn't possibly be carrying Neji's baby?" she sounded rusty, quite unsure whether she was making a statement or enquiring. "There is no way..." she studied them both with grave curiosity.

Nobody saw it fit to respond which sort of drove the blonde a little bit closer to the edge. Sakura didn't know what to make of the sudden resentment that sprung up between them. But she knew this emotional tug of war would not end well, for either of them. And she wasn't just saying that because Temari looked as though she'd commit a double—possible triple homicide.

"Sakura, it isn't true is it?" she asked or rather—demanded.

The pinkette's breath caught in her throat as Temari's head swung in her direction scorching her with the most compelling glare she had ever received.

"You're pregnant?" Neji asked baffled, sidetracking the huntress from her prey.

"Not for long," she threw a threatening glance in Takumi's direction then returned a questioning eye to her newly appointed adversary. "Well..."

"It was an accident..." Sakura answered barely above a whisper.

"An accident?" Temari elevated an ebony brow. The shrill that followed was a mixture of cruel mirth and malicious mockery. If it had cracked a few windows Sakura wasn't aware, she was too busy trying to hide the blatant blush which took up residence upon her face.

This could get ugly.

The laughter gradually faded into a sob, "Neji can't be..." Temari held unto her own stomach as the realization began to dawn on her. "That's not possible..." but even as she began to deny it, the story Sakura had shared when she first required her legal services suddenly started to make sense. "The inn...several months ago?" she asked.

Sakura nodded reluctantly after failing to reclaim enough peace of mind to speak. The unsettling look on Temari's face was enough to send her on a guilt trip. But when she opened her mouth to speak her words came out awfully slurred and babbly.

Temari held up a hand commanding silence at once, then her exterior softened and a sad smile graced her thin lips. That is why it took both the on-lookers and the receiver of a heavy blow to the face by surprise when the stillness of the room was stirred by the crack of flesh against bone.

Sakura blinked continuously, the shock of it momentarily thwarted the pain. But the force of the powerful strike soon left the taste of blood in her mouth. Her throat ached with the effort of not crying; then slowly her lips parted, swollen and trembling, she felt herself waver and allowed the tears to flow freely.

Takumi gasped.

"You're all alike!" Temari screamed lunging on Sakura who she grabbed by the collar. "You seduced him and got yourself pregnant!" then she added in astonishment, "You're after his money aren't you?" she shook her roughly. "That's probably not even his child!" Temari concluded, tightening her grip.

"Speak for yourself," Sakura sneered revealing rows of once perfectly white teeth—now stained with crimson. Her arms went frantic trying to free herself of the arm Temari snaked around her neck.

"Why you little—"

The onslaught would have continued if upon primitive instincts Neji hadn't grab a hold of Temari, who probably would have given Sakura a healthy punch or two in the gut.

"Unhand me!" she yelled kicking and screaming hysterically. "I've had enough of this."

"Believe me he has had enough of you too," Sakura pointed out boldly now that Neji had Temari's arms pinned behind her and her feet in midair.

"Another smack ought to remind you where you stand," she struggled to break free but it was to no avail.

"If you lay another finger on her, I'll have her hit you back," the harshness of his tone would have sent many crawling into a corner. But Temari, apparently accustomed to his brusque nature found some sort of hilarity in it.

Smirking she drawled, "She wouldn't dare…"

"But I would," he challenged darkly.

Takumi shuddered momentarily reminding the others of her presence.

Completely taken aback Temari wriggled free, spun around, looked him dead in the eyes and realized—he was serious. She studied him, secretly shocked by his expression. His lips pressed to a firm line, eye brows furrowed, but it was his eyes that held her, they were like bottomless wells of rage.

"You'd really hit me?" she planted her arms on her hips, shifted her weight to one leg and fixed him a daring look that might have won over many men inferior to the Hyuuga heir.

"If it comes to that," he said flatly.

"For her?" she scoffed.

"Why not?" he asked bluntly.

She looked back and forth at the Sakura and Neji's faces much like she did earlier, almost as though she was conjuring up an explanation for her own unfortunate plight given that they had caught on to her. But she resorted to trashing Sakura. "First Ino, now this…" Temari grimaced at her, "You need to find a new hobby Neji, because picking up trash isn't your thing."

"But he did such a good job on finding you," Sakura pouted, derisiveness overpowering her entire demeanor. "So why stop now?" Having grown bolder knowing that the handsome Hyuuga sided with her she felt the need to make her thoughts be known. But she was quickly shot down by a silencing glance from Neji.

"You are dead to me!" Temari spat gingerly. "And you…" she turned an accusing eye to Neji, "I thought you were cultured!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here," Neji said casually, "You're carrying another man's child."

Upon hearing this Sakura released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

Folding her arms, Temari stewed, "How's that any different from getting another woman pregnant?" There was a sting of bitterness in the words, and he could taste it even as she did. "You had a commitment to fulfill with me…" she crossed the floor, stopping by Takumi's desk.

Neji growled, "Temari, I never wanted your hand in marriage."

Her heart crumbled. Unable to face him—the truth, she turned her back as he spoke. She had remembered that dark anger in him, that restless passion. It had drawn her to him the first time they met, heck it drew her to him even now—however odd it was that it did.

"You don't mean that," she said failing miserably to convince even herself.

"Frankly speaking, you're not my type," the fact that it was said equally as flat as the look he gave her made the comment sting even more.

"And I suppose Sakura is?" Sarcasm dripped like acid as she spoke. "Ino…I can understand. Naturally a man of your prestige and affluent background will be attracted to a woman of equal stature but—"

Sakura made a sound from in her throat and was deliberately sent an icy look by Temari.

"—Ino isn't just sitting on top of the social ladder because she basks in the glory of her family's name; I'm told she has made a name for herself…" then she added impishly, "…In a not-so-reputable manner…"

"Seems to me like you're headed for the top as well, and you're taking the steps three at a time."

"Spit-fire aren't we?" she studied him for one long moment, but that slightly annoyed expression on his face didn't waver.

"No, I simply call them like I see them."

She glanced absently at Takumi, with just a hint of a frown in her eyes, "It's incredible that he has such high opinions of me."

"It's incredible that he has any opinion of you at all," Takumi muttered underneath her breath.

Temari drew a long breath, "How much do you want?" she asked tossing back her hair, there were diamond chips at her ears. "Name your price," she waved, the beautiful golden band she wore around her finger sparkling in the afternoon sun which crept into the room.

Without her realizing it, Sakura stared down at her own finger, naked. "I'm afraid I'm not up for sale," there was bite, a quick, nasty nip, in her tone that had Neji looking back at her. His ivory, almond-shaped orbs watched her with a studied coolness.

"If its money you're after…" her voice trailed.

"You seem to be of the opinion that every woman is like you," Sakura wiped at her mouth with the back of her palms. "Like I said, it was an accident. If I had known who he was, I wouldn't have slept with him, even in my drunken state of mind." She scoffed at Temari's surprised expression.

The look Neji sent her was a mixture of disbelief and she dare say it—woe. But as usual she only had the privilege of glimpsing such changes in his features because within a matter of seconds his stoic mask was back in place.

"I despise wealthy people," she found herself explaining. "They seem to think that money is the ultimatum for very problem."

"Is it not?" Temari asked distantly then added hastily, "How much do you want?"

"I don't want your money."

A smile surfaced followed by a long sigh, "You don't want my money because you want something else that I possess, but you can't have him Sakura."

"What?" Sakura seemed flabbergasted.

"It's Neji you're after…" Temari straightened herself. "You're living in a fantasy world, thinking that this child will give you clearance to running off into the sunset with him."

Neji sent her a look of interest and she drew an uneven breath, "Don't be ridiculous Temari," Sakura shook her head, her voice might have been cold, but the heat was pumping off her skin.

"You're in love with him, you said—"

"Of course she's in love with him, why else would she marry him?" Takumi cut her off without hesitation. She had other patients to look after; hosting what could possibly result in world war three in her office would not end well for her business. "Now, if you'll excuse me your highness, I have a medical procedure to carry out and like everyone else you've got to wait your turn."

"Married?" Temari shrieked. The image of Neji and Sakura together flashed through her mind. It came too easily. She fought to clamp down on her emotions, and Neji marveled at her struggle. It was an impressive one. "Is that what the contract was for?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"How does she know about the contract?" Sakura gave out.

"How do I know about the contract?" Temari raised her index finger at Sakura accusingly, "I've been unto you for months," she confessed. "But I didn't expect this. Neji's obvious concern with your wellbeing and constant visits to your pathetic excuse for a home raised speculation amongst us all. But everyone bought his story about helping out a friend in need—except me!"

Roughly brushing aside loose strands of her hair, Temari continued, "You really ought not to keep your room so organized Neji, it was so easy to find what I was looking for."

"Snooping?" Sakura asked. "How very classy," she jeered. Neji seem oblivious to the conversation going on, instead he was studying Sakura quite intently. She flushed beneath his gaze, only he had the power to make her feel so small and vulnerable and unsure of herself with just one look.

"At first I thought that the contract was something his family put together but the terms didn't add up. I couldn't understand why it made mention of a child and shared custody after five years. Then I saw the appointment card, and I knew something was not right. Why had Neji been making and paying for appointments with obstetricians for Sakura? Then it hit me."

"How unfortunate that it hadn't killed you when it did," Takumi murmured.

"I had to find out for myself why Neji had been sleeping out and coming in after hours. The head of security at the Hyuuga mansion had been concerned and so was I. It was by chance that our appointments were on the same day, so I decided to come in early and get to the bottom of it. I fended off any claim made by my gut that there's a possibility that you could be carrying Neji's child. It didn't make any sense but then again it made perfect sense. Why else would he be so involved in everything which involved you."

"So you knew all along?"

"I'm a lawyer; it didn't take long to fit the pieces of the puzzle together."

"Yet you said nothing…" Sakura thought for a moment. "Perhaps it was because you were busy trying to sort your way through your own misfortune."

"I like to think of it as a complication," her voice was clear and calm. "And it's under control."

"Are you really here for an abortion?" Sakura dropped her voice.

Temari visibly flinched, "What's it to you?"

"There are other options," Sakura, though looking thoroughly appalled at the blonde's chosen course of action sounded genuinely concerned.

Takumi sighed, "Temari's well acquainted with the procedure to know that she has to consider other alternatives because she's too far along."

Sakura and Neji spoke at the same time.

"Well acquainted?" They chorused.

"You mean abortion is not possible at this stage?" Sakura asked.

"It is possible, but it comes with a risk," she informed them, everyone was listening keenly, well except for Temari who had folded her arms and was glowering at the doctor. "As this is Miss Sabaku's second abortion and she's well into her pregnancy it means that carrying out the procedure might reduce her chances of ever conceiving."

Sakura's jaws dropped.

They were quiet for awhile until Neji having grown impatient announced that he has had enough. Temari looked as though she were close to tears with the look of loathing she received from Neji.

"Second abortion?" he asked incredulously when Sakura had disappeared behind a curtained cubicle to change in a gown because they couldn't risk the gel soiling her top any more.

"I can explain," she pled.

"How long ago was the first one?" he ignored Temari and asked Takumi who was busy getting ready of some other equipments.

"A couple months ago…" she answered.

"So you were pregnant before we got engaged?" he said rather than asked.

"Yes," she answered quickly, it was clear from her tone that she was becoming more panicky. "But it's not like that, you have to allow me to explain myself," Neji turned his head away from her, "Please…you can't marry Sakura. We can work our way through this together. We've both made mistakes, but we owe it to both our families to make right what we did wrong."

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

She walked around to straighten before him. Her gaze held his; she felt a jolt, the punch of heat that would always melt her knees. Throwing her pride aside she reached up and cupped his face in her palms, "Everything I've done, I did it because I love you."

There's was nothing from Neji's end.

"I don't want to lose you," she sobbed.

He continued to stare at her, almost as though he could see into her soul. And then as it cued, he frowned and twisted his face out of her gasp with a grimace.

"You can't lose something that you've never had."

Sakura came back eyeing them cautiously. She didn't trust Temari to not come into possession of something sharp that could be used to further assault her. So went she was ushered to lie back down for examination Sakura was awfully reluctant.

"Do as the doctor says," Neji instructed her sternly who eventually complied.

"I'll be ready in a minute," Takumi told her.

"Married?" Temari repeated, turning her back to them in wonderment. "That can't be legit…"

Disregarding Temari's presence as he had become so accustomed to doing, Neji went over to where Sakura laid rigid on the examination bed and dabbed at her bruised lips with a piece of napkin which Takumi had moistened with alcohol.

"I'm fine," she protested slapping his hand away from her face, she would have slit her tongue in half before admitting that her jaw and lips throbbed like a bad tooth but she was mindful of Temari.

"Let me take a look at it," he demanded, catching her chin between his thumb and index finger with little grace. The sight of her bruised lips knotted his stomach; and knowing that Temari had been the cause of it made him even more furious.

"Neji!" she flinched.

"I didn't want you here when all of this played out," his gaze fell upon her face.

She heaved a sigh, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear with shaky fingers. In his own twisted little way she knew he was making an attempt at an apology. "Can I take you up on that offer?"

His gaze wandered to where her fingers had found their way into his hair then back up unto her porcelain face. "Which is?"

Her fingers were gentle as she stroked his hair, "To hit her back," she simply stated.

Somehow he couldn't help himself, the childish determination that sparked within the depths of her emerald orbs sent the rich sound of male chuckle whizzing through the air.

Temari looked over her shoulders, her eyes scorching the duo, "I'd like to see you try," she turned around, stood back on her heels and trembled all over.

Sakura paused to look up at him to watch for his reaction, then at Temari, and then back into his eyes, and a strained, pale, helpless smile twisted her quivering lips at the tableau they made—the man, the jilted ex-betrothed, the wife. Maybe he was reading her mind again because Neji moved his hand on her shoulder as if he was trying to use it as plea.

"Miss Sabaku, please show yourself out, if not I'll have security do it for you," Takumi threatened but Temari glared and remained rooted on spot watching through blurred eyes as the two before her interacted.

"Neji…" She took a step towards them but must have thought the better of it because she froze then turned on her heels and left.

"Well…" Takumi beamed, "Let's begin."

Sakura's eyes drifted from Neji's face to the door indicating that he should go after her, but the princely-natured man drew up a chair beside the bed and sat—determined that he wouldn't chase after any woman.

Her eyes, pure green, burned into the snowiness his eyes, "You don't have to stay if you don't want to…" she told him wrinkling her nose at the smell of antiseptic.

Much to her confusion he smirked at her and took her hand in his, while Takumi smeared her belly again with the gel that was cool enough to make her gasp.

Seconds later Takumi pointed at the screen. "See, there's the baby."

Neji's hand tightened around hers. "Sakura are you seeing it?" His voice sounded hoarse, as though his throat, too, was burning with suppressed emotion.

She peeped sideways at him. He sat hunched forward, staring at the monitor with an intensity one didn't usually have the privilege of witnessing.

They both listened to the amplified heartbeat thinking that it was the most wonderful sound that they've ever heard. "Yes," she nodded and whispered, wondering if it was possible to explode with joy. "That's our baby."

"I think that you have been misinformed Miss Haruno—"

"—Hyuuga," Neji corrected. "Misinformed?" Neji inquired tartly.

Takumi had gone very quiet.

Sakura flushed. A pang of anxiety pierced her as she stared at the blipping movement Takumi had indicated. "What do you mean?" The hair was standing up on the back of her neck. "What is it?" Sakura pressed. She looked at Neji for reassurance as Takumi continued her investigation.

"Just a minute, please," she requested, focusing all of her attention on the screen. "Can you hear that?"

Sakura strained her ears, only to realize that she was squeezing the life out of Neji's hand.

"I don't believe it…there is another heart beat," she studied the monitor closely. "Waiting for visual confirmation…"

"Another?" Sakura said, bewildered, trying to make sense of the movement on the screen.

"Didn't you think that your excessive weight-gain meant something?" She paused to study her patient keenly.

"Twins?" Neji caught on quicker. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely sure," Takumi assured him. "Here…you can see for yourself." She pointed out first one clearly defined baby and then the other.

Sakura flinched wanting to steal a glance at Neji, but feared what she might see on his face. Twins? That was more than she bargained for…more than he bargained for. Thick tears wrapped themselves around her throat. How much more will he have to suffer for wanting to do the right thing? He had two near hysterical ex-fiancées, a stung, stunned and stupidly naïve wife to deal with and two babies, which totally, utterly overwhelmed the importance of everything else.

For a couple of seconds silence hung between them. Then Sakura said in a subdued voice "That's not possible."

Takumi retrieved her notepad from the desk and started to jot down things like she had been doing before Temari had come bursting into the room. "Do you have twins in your family?"

She tried to concentrate. "No I don't," she answered slowly, still trying to come to terms with the shock, and thinking about the upheaval the discovery would cause her and Neji.

Neji sent her a scolding look and was about to mention his father when Takumi beat him to it. "Neji, your father and uncle were identical twins weren't they?"

"Yes, but that's hardly even the point," he answered tartly, "Sakura's eight months pregnant which means that it is highly unlikely that an ultrasound would have missed the presence of a second feotus, as it would have been clearly visible after the twentieth week."

"Indeed," Takumi answered thoroughly impressed that the young Hyuuga was so informed; no doubt resulting from pursuing his education at one of the finest universities that money had to offer. "Your Uncle may have another doctor on his hands," she smiled, as though the prospect of working alongside Neji in a hospital was overly appealing.

It was too much of a bother to object and justify why he preferred law to medicine, instead he pressed Takumi for an explanation as to the occurrence of the alleged _Hidden Twin._

"A little above three percent of every twin born are undetectable until birth," She began to explain, walking around the room casually. "Whether it was due to misleading or misinterpretation of ultra-sounds carried out early in the pregnancy, more than likely by an incompetent technician." She paused to catch the expression on Sakura's face then returned her attention to the notepad. "It says here, that you took your first ultrasound at seven weeks gestation—"

"—Yes, and it clearly revealed one distinct embryo. Now at thirty two weeks, it's revealing two heads, four arms and four legs. Did that other baby materialize along the way?" he asked sardonically.

"Not at all," the doctor chuckled a little. "The two dimensional perspective of the first scan only caught a glimpse of one embryo. The other was probably shadowed, meaning that it was positioned directly behind the other, and not visible from the view of the ultrasound tool—almost like an eclipse."

Sakura was lost for words. Neji who seemed to have been well acquainted with all the medical specifications was casually engaging Takumi in conversation.

"The babies were contained in a single chorion, hence them being positioned closely together so their shadowed position could not be detected in a quick scan."

"But wouldn't there have been differences in the pace of their heart beats, how could they not have picked that up?" Sakura could hear the urgency with which he spoke, that dark husky rasp.

"Judging by what I'm seeing on the monitor now, these are monozygotic twins, meaning—"

"—Meaning that one egg had split into two embryos, they'll share the same genetic material, hence being identical," he said monotonously. "Don't bore us with the details…"

Beyond impressed she continued to explain that as a result of that, there'd be a very slight, possibly undetectable difference in the pace of the babies' hearts. "The rhythms of their heart beat had been meshing at the time, but you find that as they develop inside the womb that may change."

"But there is no mistaking the presence of twins on her second ultrasound, at twenty weeks gestation?" he asked.

She went into deep thought, rummaging through the loose sheets of paper she had been scrutinizing on her notepad. "Except that there hadn't been another ultrasound prior to this one or after the one at seven weeks," she suddenly noted uncertainly while she scanned her notepad. "Sakura…" she turned her attention to the brooding female. "Is this really your second ultra sound?"

She nodded slowly under the monstrous glare Neji sent her.

"That is preposterous!" he gave out, releasing the hand he held in his. He hadn't looked surprised, just angry. Which told Sakura everything that she needed to know.

She felt like a kid who had been caught stealing cookies. Takumi gave her a scolding look but smiled nevertheless, much like a forgiving mother would. Neji on the other hand looked like a parent who was ready to ground her until she was moving around in a wheelchair.

"It's very important that you have regular checkups with your doctor to see if things are progressing as they should, especially in cases of multiple births. Being a nurse, I'd expect that you'd know the risk attached to such negligence. What if the ovum hadn't separated properly? What if the umbilical cord had wrapped itself around one of the babies, restricting proper growth and development? What if—"

"—That's enough, I think you've made your point," Neji waved his hand dismissively. "Just check to see that everything is progressing as it should. I'll deal with Sakura later," the scowl she received gave Sakura the impression that she had won for herself a death sentence.

However, perversely, her reaction was the exact opposite of what it should have been. "What are you going to do?" Sakura grinned coyly, batting her eye lashes. "Punish me?"

Neji grunted but his expression was as deadpan as always when he replied, "Perhaps it's time we confronted my uncle."

Sakura shuddered.

OoOoOoOo

As it turned out, Neji was dead serious; in fact he was adamant that they spoke to him this afternoon. From what Sakura gathered, with Neji being the Hyuuga Heir, his marriage to her could only be legitimized through approval by the clan head. That prospect was not looking probable at the moment, especially if Temari got to Hiashi before they did. Without Hiashi's support there's an automatic annulment. Unless Neji renounced his title, she supposed…but she was not prepared to let him do that. Renouncing his title would mean that he would no longer bear the Hyuuga prerogative and what good would that do for his twins?

They were fighting a losing battle in her opinion.

When they made it down to the hospital's car park, he asked, "We're in this together, no matter what right?"

Just like that he said it—just like any normal person would say it. Only he wasn't just a normal person, and Sakura had difficulty coming up with a normal answer. She just stood there mute for a moment as his few hundred thousand dollars' worth of sleek silver sports car came into view and he yanked out his keys.

"There's only one way for this to go…" She put on a plummy voice and raised her nose in distaste at his stunning car. "Downhill…"

"Just get in," he muttered, opening the passenger door for her, Sakura peered inside at the immaculate leather upholstery. "Would you like me to pull back the seat?"

"No, I'm fine," Sakura gave a sigh and climbed into the seat wriggling down the in the baby-bottom-soft leather, then watched as he joined her and punched his address into the sat nav. Somewhere along the line she forgot to be nervous—just like that they purred off into the afternoon sunset.

"What will happen if Hiashi doesn't approve?" she asked some minutes later having grown annoyed of the silence.

"It's a matter of acceptance rather than approval," he stepped on the gas.

"I'm afraid that I don't understand," she held her chest as the car sped along the highway.

"The contract that I had drawn up for us is an unavoidable clause in the rules that governs Hyuuga tradition." Seeing the confused expression on Sakura's face he began to explain. "That contract ties us together for five years which means that I am exempted from establishing any form of conjugal bond with any other female during that time."

"You've never been one to point out the obvious…" she rolled her eyes in frustration.

"According to Hyuuga Laws, arranged marriages can only be put off if there are other legal obligations which prohibit it. And since you signed the contract earlier today—"

"—You can't marry until the five years are up?" she asked.

"I'm already married," he pointed out stealing a quick glance at her, she went red. "After five years, our arrangement is up; then I am indeed once again at the mercy of my clan elders. But In court our marriage is merely a business arrangement between you and I, hence there is little that my family can testify against us with."

Sakura shivered at the cold bitterness of his expression, "You had thought this through a long time ago hadn't you?"

A wintry smile swept across his face, "The five years represents the maximum length of time which any external legal arrangements can postpone clan duties. In fact my uncle had been the one to point out this flaw in our family laws. So I decided to use it to our advantage."

She blushed at the sound of the word _our_, it had such a beautiful sound, especially when it came from his mouth. "So you manipulated your uncle into revealing loopholes in your family statute, then used those findings to create a contract which you blackmailed me into signing…" she noted in awe.

He lifted an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "You seem at lost for words?" he smirked, unnerving her.

She nodded dumbly; she would have given anything to say how she really felt. But she could only resort to watching his stunning profile behind the wheel with a sigh. Perhaps it was wishful thinking to ponder on the possibilities of him growing fond of her over the course of the years they would embark upon together.

After the five years, all her efforts to keep her life together would have gone in vain, for she wouldn't have only lost Ino and Temari, but Neji as well. And five years was going to be too long of a time to contain her feelings towards him. She was already at that point of no return, fighting a battle where she was already declared the loser before it even commenced.

"You know it's never too late to call it quits. Rather than subjecting yourself to the torture of a five year long marriage with me, why not keep this under the quiet, marry the heiress and visit on the weekends. Why not—" she was gruffly interrupted.

"Because I didn't go through all this trouble just so that I could see my kids on the weekends," Neji bit out a curse.

"Your uncle will not take this very lightly," her expression froze and wariness stole over her face.

Neji frowned in concern. "You're getting worked up about nothing. That can't be healthy. Why don't you put your seat back and rest? I expect the drive to take a while."

"I'm not really tired—"

"It's bad enough that you don't take your own health into consideration, now you've got two others to think of. And that's three more persons than you can actually care for," he grated.

Every last protest vanished beneath the logic of that one statement. When it came to pushing buttons, this man was good. Grumbling beneath her breath, Sakura reclined the seat and closed her eyes. She didn't actually nod off. Instead she lay in that dreamy world somewhere between consciousness and sleep. It wasn't until the car slowed that she sat up again. They turned onto a long, sweeping driveway. Pressing her lips together, she just stared at the shadowy shapes of an alien landscape sweeping past her window.

"I suspect that my cousins are home," he said before a pair of huge pair of heavy iron gates swung open and the car glided through them, and then proceeded on through extensive gardens to a smooth halt beneath a covered portico to the side of the beautiful three-storey Victorian house.

A swarm of household staff came out to meet the vehicle. Doors were opened for them; the still heat of the night became filled with warm smiles. "Pleasant afternoon, Sir," they greeted.

Sakura snickered as one of them alighted her from the car. She could hear and smell the ocean though she couldn't see it, and the heavy scent of tropical jasmine hung like a drug in the air. The house looked as if it had been transported here right off the set of a period movie.

Inside the house was just as impressive as the exterior, decorated in cool pastel shades. Sakura took around the huge open hallway with a white marble staircase sweeping upwards to a galleried first floor. A huge fan hung from the ceiling gently humming away and disturbing her hair as she spun slowly around.

Swinging to face Neji, she found him standing with his eyes carefully hooded and his face like a blank piece of paper. Her own eyes flickered slightly as she moved them sideways to where a young woman with neat blonde hair and rivaling green eyes stood smiling shyly at her.

"This is Kako," Neji's carefully modulated voice explained. "She's a good friend of mine."

"Welcome Miss Sakura," Kako grinned at Neji.

Finding a smile from somewhere, Sakura stepped up to say hello and to offer Kako her hand. "You know my name?" she enquired.

"Of course ma'am, Sir Hyuuga mentions you all the time," at this Neji frowned so she added quickly, "I'm head of the kitchen, I'd be more than willing to indulge you in one of my homemade croissants."

As food was the furthest thing from her mind, she politely declined.

"Has my uncle arrived as yet?" Neji suddenly asked.

Kako shook her head, "We're not to expect him until late tonight. But Lady Hinata and Hanabi have both arrived and are having dinner at the moment. Shall I fetch them?"

"No," Sakura answered feeling a peculiar tinge of relief. "We're leaving. We'll come see Hiashi tomorrow," she took a hold of Neji's arm and began leading him towards the massive oak wood double door they had come through.

"I'm afraid that you won't be seeing Mr. Hyuuga tomorrow, he will be away on business after he comes here to retrieve his luggage tonight," Kako informed them.

Neji came to a halt, "We've got to see him before he leaves."

Sakura shook her head stubbornly.

"My wife will want to go upstairs to—freshen up and change," he said calmly, with the 'my wife' sounding hollow to Sakura's sensitized ears. "It's going to be a long night."

"What?" Sakura gave out. "I am not staying here!"

Kako grinned, seeming to have reached a level of understanding with the haughty Hyuuga, she nodded. "Please, this way, Madam Hyuuga," she invited, tugging the arm of a reluctant Sakura.

She walked in Kako's wake, aware that Neji remained standing where he was watching her. She was halfway up the stairs when she heard his footsteps echo off the marble floor, but refused to look down and check where he'd gone.

The bedroom suite was beautiful, a soothing melody of pale blues and ivory and soft eau-de-Nil. Another fan spun quietly above a huge mahogany four-poster bed, and yet another one hummed across the room above the French windows in front of which a table and two chairs stood, looking as though it were set for two.

"There is a bathroom, through here," Kako was saying, pulling Sakura's attention to the door she was holding open to reveal soft gold and cream tones of marble. "Would you like one of the maids to draw you a bath?"

"Is this Neji's room?" Sakura asked peering around the room cautiously.

Kako nodded, letting go of the bathroom door. "I thought you'd feel most comfortable in here."

"That I doubt," she admitted then wilted like a dying flower into a chair, shoulders sinking, face paling, eyes feeling suddenly very empty as she stared at the huge four-poster bed with its drapes of fine white silk. "Tell me something…"

"Yes ma'am."

"What exactly has Mr. Hyuuga been saying about me?" Sakura could tell that the question had caught the young woman off guard for her eyes wandered from the huge bed to the two large dark mahogany wardrobes.

"Perhaps I better leave you to get settled in. Mr. Hyuuga has requested that the time spent on your feet be kept to a minimal so I shall take up your dinner."

Sakura kept her smile fixed until Kako had left the room.

Sighing, she turned and headed for the bathroom, then stood looking around it. One wickedly decadent deep plunge bath with optional whirlpool, two big shower cubicles, one toilet bowl and two white porcelain basins standing side by side above which hung mirrors and several glass shelves filled with bottles and tubes and jars of every beauty aid a woman could wish for. She couldn't help but wonder if they had belonged to Temari or Ino perhaps.

Shaking aside the though she stripped off, picked a shower cubicle and stepped into it. Ten minutes later she walked back into the bedroom, wryly unsurprised to find that the maids had been in and brought fresh clothing while she'd been showering. Wrapped in one of the toweling bathrobes she'd found hanging behind the door, she rubbed at her wet hair with a towel and she wandered over to the window to look out. On impulse she tried the handle and found that the window was unlocked. Pushing it open showed her a bleach-boarded veranda with white slatted rails.

The wood was warm beneath her bare feet as she stepped onto it, the heat of the night kind of soothing, and she stood leaning lightly against the rail and rubbing her hair while she tried to make out what the view in front of her was like. It was truly pitch-dark out there but she caught the frothing white roll of a wave as it came into shore. It wasn't far away, perhaps a few hundred yards at most. And as her eyes grew more used to the darkness she managed to make out the shape of a white-painted gazebo not far from the beach.

"You will get bitten by mosquitoes if you stay out here for much longer," Neji's cool voice crept up from behind her.

Sakura spun around, slightly hassled. She was about to rile at him when she noticed the presence of two younger females each owning a pair of lavender orbs, indigenous to Hyuugas only. The younger of the two had long dark hair that hung loosely over her shoulders and two diamond studs lodged in both ears. She possessed the same clean, clear skin that Neji was blessed with and there was unmistakably one of his signature scowl on her pretty little face. Dressed in a short black floral print dress belted to her tiny waist and black leggings that stretched only to mid- calf, she looked like the miniature female replica of Neji. She left the impression on Sakura that she was the rebel of the household, spoilt to the bone, uptight and judging from the curious onceover she gave Sakura—she did not very often take a liking to Neji's female companions.

"This is Hanabi," he urged the little girl forward. But the child froze, her gaze wandering towards the blatant bump which had become Sakura's stomach.

Hanabi sent a questioning glance up at Neji and frowned, "Nii-san?"

He rubbed her shoulders affectionately, "This is Sakura."

"It's very nice to meet you Hanabi," Sakura beamed, but had to withdraw her outstretched arm for her efforts were met with grave hostility. It took an inconsiderable amount of will power to suppress the shudder that was threatening to surface. Never had she been under such careful and partial scrutiny.

"Likewise," Hanabi mumbled while moving possessively closer to Neji.

"I'm Hinata," the older girl spoke softly, trying to cover up the blush that crept across her pale face. She was dressed in a mauve embroidered overlay dress with gold covair beading on the empire bodice and a hem that stopped well above the knee to show off her leg. The dress wasn't flashy, but she had to admit it was eye-catching. With her long sleek, dark blue hair caught in a loose ponytail, Hinata resembled one of the princesses from the fairytales she read to child patients at the hospital.

She had always suspected that Neji's cousins would be beautiful but they had surpassed all her expectations. "That's a pretty name," Sakura shook her hand, immensely relieved that at least this one didn't seem to find her presence in their home a nuisance.

"Thank you, Sakura-chan," Hinata bowed her head slightly.

"Are you really carrying nii-san's babies?" Hanabi asked lightly as though she had just thought about it, instead of at least a couple of times before she made her way upstairs.

Sakura was somewhat surprised at the child's boldness. "That's right."

"How old are you?" she asked quickly, before Neji had anytime to object to her forwardness.

"I'll be twenty-one in a couple of—"

"Are you in love with nii-san?" she challenged.

Sakura gave a little laugh and glanced up at Neji, who was gazing at her with an intensity that dried the breath in her lungs, the laughter on her lips.

"Sakura…" he began, his voice low, and Sakura's heart flipped.

"This isn't an interrogation Hanabi," Hinata reprimanded her sister softly.

"Please pardon Hanabi's forthrightness," he sounded lost in thought.

Hanabi shrugged and admitted with a quick, wry smile "Pink's not your colour nii-san. So perhaps I ought to redirect my question?" she inquired, studying her cousin keenly.

Neji scoffed.

Sakura indulged the thought for a little, but the more she pondered on the possibilities, the more her heart crumbled. She was only married to Neji because she was bearing his children, not because he loved her.

Pain splintered through her chest as she shattered. Her heart withered and cracked, falling in pieces around her. He'd never love a commoner such as herself. The tortured cry that ripped from her mouth echoed through the room. She clamped a hand over her lips, but it was too late. Everyone looked her way. Hinata flinched, and an odd discomfort settled over Hanabi's face. She met Neji's gaze, and she could see the truth in his eyes. And with that knowledge, she kept her eyes on the floor, going teary and she knew exactly why. She felt utterly sick at heart.

Hanabi frowned irritably. "I liked Lady Yamanaka, she was—"

"That's enough Hanabi," Neji silenced her. "Whether or not you like it, Sakura is my wife."

Sakura smiled weakly at the possessive declaration.

At this Hanabi latched her arm around Neji's and glared at the pinkette. "I'm sorry nii-san."

It was then that Sakura understood the child's feel of enmity towards her. Concern flitted through her glorious green eyes before she suppressed it. Hanabi's rejection of her was clearly because she was of the opinion that Sakura wasn't good enough for or was worthy of Hyuuga Neji. It was sort of cute when you thought about it, excluding the fact that Sakura was being mentally mutilated by the young girl.

Something twisted painfully inside her, the room spun dizzily round her and Sakura had to cling to the banister for support.

Neji obviously concerned, reached out to her, "Are you alright?" As he started across the room toward her, she backed away, stumbling as she did.

"I'm fine," she assured him but even as she denied it pain cycled through her body, an unending stream of agony. She closed her eyes as Neji's strong hands slid around her body. In an urgent voice, he demanded to know if she was hurt, but she was incapable of answering him.

Her knees buckled beneath her, but Neji supported her, picking her up, she could hear him saying her name while barking orders at his cousins to summon a doctor.

A few moments later he lowered her to the bed, she curled herself into a tight ball and turned away from him, flinching when he placed his hand on her, his touch light and concerned. "Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?"

For the pain that which I feel, they is no medicine, no cure but acceptance by another soul, she thought dully. She gasped, closing her eyes, but the hot tears streamed down her cheeks, even as Neji wiped them away with his fingers. She felt the familiar bile rise in her throat but nothing came but the bitter taste and stinging sensation in her throat.

Through the fog, she heard Neji conversing with a familiar voice. A moment later, she felt a prick in her arm, but she didn't react. She didn't care. And then she floated away, so grateful that the pain had receded. Her mind grew fuzzy as the veil of sleep descended over her. Oblivion. She reached for it. Embraced it and wrapped it around her as she slipped away to a place where sanity prevailed.

OoOoOoOo

When Sakura regained consciousness, the first thing she heard was a furious voice beckoning orders. As her eyes opened and her gaze flickered around her surroundings, she realized she was on unfamiliar territory. It took a few moments before the events of the past couple of hours replayed in her mind. Then memories of Neji's house and cousins came back to her.

"It was a good thing you had brought her here, who knows what would have happened if she went home by herself?" This voice belonged to Hinata Sakura presumed.

Neji's back was turned to her; he was interrogating a woman standing in front of him.

"Neji," she murmured weakly.

He spun around immediately and hurried over to where she lay. "Are you all right?" His hands swept over her body even as his eyes bored intensely into hers. "Are you still in pain?" She tried to smile, but she felt shaky. The doctor, Sakura realized was the infamous Takumi from earlier on this morning. She moved in front of Neji and held a cup toward her.

"Your blood sugar level is critically low, have a cup of this," she offered.

Neji took the cup then curled an arm underneath her neck to help her sit up. He held the cup to her lips as she cautiously sipped at the sweet liquid.

"You said everything was fine," Neji grated.

"Yes," Takumi answered revising her notes. "Except that I hadn't tested her sugar level."

"What kind of doctor are you?" he gave out.

"Nii-san," Hinata tried to calm him.

And as anticipated Hanabi sided with Neji, "This is an outrage!"

Sakura gave them both a wan smile, "I'm fine," she began to ease herself out of the bed.

"Oh, no you don't," Hanabi warned with a bit of a hiss. "Her blood sugar level would explain the fatigue, but what accounts for the pain," she pinned Takumi with an inquiring stare.

"Sakura is almost through her final trimester, which means that as the time draws nearer to delivery, the contractions will increase in frequency and intensity." Takumi cleared her throat, "Please do keep off your feet ma'am."

"That wasn't a request Sakura, it was an order," Neji told her grimly after witnessing the stubborn pouting of her lips. "You will do as you're told; I've allowed you to get away with murder these few months. It's as a result of my negligence why you're carrying twins and we hadn't a clue. I should—"

"It's not your fault," Sakura sighed. He was taking her ailment personally. He fairly bristled with guilt, and she knew there'd be no swaying him from his course. She might as well resign herself to the rest of her pregnancy in bed.

"It's my job to ensure that you're taken care of," It was said with ironclad resoluteness, his voice solemn, and she knew he took his vow very seriously. Realizing she wouldn't win any arguments with him today, she relaxed and sank further into the softness of her quilt.

"I have a few concerns…" Neji was saying to Takumi as he led her out. "The drugs you prescribed—" the door closed behind them.

The room fell silent once more.

"Father will not take very lightly to this," Hanabi confessed, her frustration visibly and audibly evident both on her face and in her tone.

Ironically Sakura had said the same thing to Neji, but was feeling too dejected and tired to point it out to the intolerant little girl.

"I agree, but he has to understand that nii-san is taking responsibility for his actions. Something father has been keen on teaching us," Hinata spoke quietly. "I personally—"

"—Damn it, Hinata, there is no need for him to marry her. He could have put her up in an apartment somewhere until the babies come. What sense is there in tying himself to her, giving her access to everything he owns?"

Sakura's mouth rounded in shock at Hanabi's angry words.

"She is pregnant with his children," Hinata said icily. "That he chooses to marry her is none of our concern."

Hanabi's shrill voice rose, "Father will have that marriage annulled once he hears about this ridiculous marriage. She holds no credit to her name, nothing! Such things are unheard of in this household."

"Their children—"

"—Don't be ridiculous Hinata, how do we even know those are nii-san's children?" she looked accusingly at the frail woman lying on the bed.

A haze blew through Sakura's mind. Red hot. Like a swarm of angry bees. And suddenly it was as if a dam broke. "I didn't ask for any of this! Do you think that I would have agreed to become a part of your family if I had a choice?"

It seemed that everything Hanabi had tried to keep locked up in the back of her mind came roaring through with vicious velocity. "A marriage through a contract is the silliest thing that I have ever heard; it hardly counts you as a Hyuuga."

She glanced down at her finger automatically as Hanabi spoke. No ring adorned it. She frowned at it before she quickly looked back up, trying to make the uneasiness disappear once more.

"Hanabi!" Hinata warned, but it wasn't nearly as convincing. "This is too much of a delicate time for you to be causing her such distress Hanabi," she cried.

Sakura sat up, determined to get unto her feet and leave but Hinata rushed over pleading to her not to disobey the doctor's orders. "I'm getting out of here," she got to her feet, swayed but managed to get to door.

"Sakura-chan please," Hinata plead. "Get back in bed."

"Let her go Hinata, allow her to respectfully go where she belongs."

Sakura turned facing her, gripping the door handle tighter, nausea boiling in her stomach, "And to think I always thought Neji was a spoilt brat, I look at you, and I pity the future of the Hyuuga family. For the day when a rotten bitch like you becomes the family head, this clan shall burn in the pit of hell."

"Think whatever you'd like to think, but if father somehow finds a way to void the contract, then nii-san is willing to renounce his title to be with you, and I can't accept that he'd throw his life away because of some random girl he met at a bar."

"It's not your decision to make. Just accept it."

"Then accept this, my brother will never love you. Accept that this bogus marriage was not created out of love nor convenience, but pity. Accept that he's noble enough to marry you just so he could correct your mistake."

Sakura hunched her shoulders forward and turned away, but not before Hanabi saw the reemergence of tears.

She gave a cruel laugh, "Lady Sabaku was right about you…pathetic. Whoever said money couldn't buy love clearly hadn't met you."

Tears burned the corners of her eyes. Hanabi had looked at her with such…loathing. A shiver took over her body, and she desired nothing more than to be as far away from this house as possible. Just then she felt the door handle slipping away from beneath her fingers followed by the sound of an angry Neji. "What do you think you're doing?" he barked.

Her eyes widened but she remained defiant. "I'm leaving," she declared.

The sight of Sakura's tears and the hurt in her voice gave him pause. One look at Hanabi's guilty-stricken face and he knew who to blame. "Just get out," he shook his head at her disapprovingly. He had never looked so angry yet so at peace at the same time.

She was hesitant a first but complied. "Have you no eyes at all, to see what you're giving up for nothing?" Hanabi screamed at him before she stormed out.

Steering Sakura back into the room, he closed the door behind them looking at Hinata for some explanation because the pinkette refused to speak to him.

"Temari was here earlier on…" and that was all the explanation he needed.

"Forget Hanabi" he caught her elbow.

When he turned her around, he was gutted by the tears streaking down her cheeks. She turned her face away and swiped blindly at her eyes with her other hand.

"Please, just take me home," she choked out. "Your family doesn't want me here anymore than you do."

It came out bitter and full of hurt, and he realized that he hadn't fooled her at all. But he didn't want her here for reasons she wouldn't understand. Once he has had a chance to speak with his uncle, then there probably wouldn't be any reason for either of them to return to this house. He reached for her chin and gently tugged until she faced him. With his thumb, he wiped at a tear that slipped over her cheekbone.

She glanced up at him, her eyes shining with moisture. "She's right, you've got your whole future ahead of you, why jeopardize it because of me?"

He pressed his lips tightly together, as though trying to find a way to make verbal what he had to say without being blunt. His cell phone went off and he snatched it up.

While Hinata forced her back beneath the covers, Sakura strained to hear who he was speaking to, but she only heard his command to come up.

"Your dinner will be up shortly, along with the nurse."

"Nurse?"

"I'm not taking any chances; Hiashi won't be home for the next couple of hours. Someone has to be up here monitoring you while I wait for his return."

"Then why can't you stay with me?" She hated the hopeful, almost mournful quality to her voice. She sounded pathetic and clingy.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but the door burst opened revealing two young maids pushing a trolley laden with delicacies and a casually dressed brunette carrying a large handbag. Sakura presumed that she was the nurse.

"Lady Sakura, I am nurse Natsumi," she beamed walking over to Sakura collecting her fragile hands in hers for a hearty handshake. "I'm pleased to meet you, not to worry you are in good hands for the night."

She returned the woman's smile but glared at Neji, his concern over her well-being seemed almost obsessive. But she had to keep reminding herself that he wasn't doing this for her, but for their children.

"I'm fine, I just want to go home," Sakura huffed after a few seconds of staring at the woman's broad smile.

"There's no harm in being extra careful especially when the doctor senses that there'll likely be complications."

Sakura gaped.

"Hinata'll show you where the kitchen is, help yourself to anything that you so desire," Neji said quickly. "The maids will put up your things."

"What is she talking about?" Sakura demanded when Hinata and Natsumi exited the room.

"Please close the windows and the door to the balcony, we can't have mosquitoes coming in for a late night bite," he instructed one of the maids with a chuckle while the other tied a napkin around Sakura's neck. It was utterly appalling having to be treated like a baby let alone looking every bit like one in a bib.

"Neji what is going on?" she demanded.

"Would you like me to turn on the air conditioning Lady Sakura?" the one closing the windows asked.

She mumbled a 'yes' while choosing between soya bean soup and a sesame seed salad for appetizer. Ironically neither of the two seemed appetizing. "I don't want any of this!" she folded her arms and stuck her head to the side. "I want to go home."

She needn't a three course meal, or a nurse, but whatever Neji wants, Neji gets.

"Shall I skip to the main course then?" the maid enquired.

"Not unless it's a hamburger with fries."

Neji blinked in surprise, "Give her the soup," he suggested coldly.

Cautiously the maid approached the bed with the hot bowl of soup, a silver spoon and another napkin on a silver tray. "Here you go ma'am," she offered but it was to no avail.

"Give that to me," Neji hissed at the maid, taking the tray from her hands. "Can't you be more cooperative? Do I have to make you do everything?"

"You can't make me drink that," she rolled her eyes.

But she found herself swallowing both her words and the soup after Neji sat at the edge of the bed holding the spoon up to her lips. She had felt a smile threatening to surface, but had to bite her lips when she saw the look of triumph in Neji's eyes after she drank the first spoon of soup. Both maids giggled like teenage girls as they witnessed the fall of a woman in love and the rise of a man in control.

The soup didn't taste as awful as she thought it would have, or perhaps it did. Maybe she was too distracted by the handsome man feeding it to her.

"Now was that so bad?" he set the bowl aside. She shook her head dumbly. "Alright Taiyou, she's all yours," he addressed the blonde maid who was handling the trolley.

"Hai," she grinned bringing the trolley to Sakura's bedside. When she lifted the lids on several silver chafing dishes a tantalizing aroma of rosemary and lemon wafted from a dish of roasted chicken. Taiyou placed some on a plate, along with fresh asparagus and new potatoes and placed it on the tray that rested on her lap.

Sakura's mouth watered at the sight of another plate hosting sliced chicken fillet with Roquefort sauce placed on her tray. "I take back what I said about the hamburger."

Taiyou laughed, "Leave space for dessert."

Her mouth gaped as she enjoyed a crisp salad with local green olives and olive oil, and the hard, tasty cheese made only in Konoha from the milk of the ewes pastured high in the mountains. "By the look of this tray I won't have space for dessert."

"But you'll make space for dessert, once you've heard what it'll be, Sir Hyuuga tells me, it's your favourite."

She raised an eyebrow then grinned shyly at him, "I don't believe it," she exclaimed.

He shrugged his shoulders.

Unexpectedly she threw one of her arms around his shoulders, pulled him towards her and kissed him on the cheek. His eyebrows twitched for awhile until she released him and he was granted the privilege of breathing again.

"How cute," Taiyou commented while the other maid blushed and grinned. Neji however looked slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry," embarrassment crept over Sakura's cheeks, leaving them tight and heated.

An awkward stillness fell amongst them. Neji, who appreciated silence more than anything else found it unnerving whenever he had to share it with Sakura. It was pure torture having to guess what she was going through her mind. Sakura ate, Neji watched keenly, no doubt making sure that she ate her vegetables and the maids, after sensing that something was amidst, left giggling.

"You know what'd make this meal absolutely perfect?" Sakura asked after the door closed leaving them alone.

Thinking that she was probably going to say something to tick him off he answered, "A bottle of white wine?"

She laughed, "That too, and if you'd eat with me," she pouted, "Just this once."

He got up from where he sat on the bed and turned his back to her, the muscles rippling through his body as if he were under a great strain. "Some other time," he sighed.

She glanced up at him from her strawberry cheese cake having eaten her way through the entire main course. "Why do you keep fighting me?"

"Hn?"

"You keep shutting me out."

"Hn."

"Damn it Neji!"

"Language Sakura…" he warned.

"One minute I think we're making some sort of progress, only to have the door slam shut in my face," she choked, and it was only then that he turned to look at her. "Are you embarrassed by me Neji?"

"Have some water," he instructed. "The medication you took should be taking its effect soon."

"Medication? I didn't take any medication," she finished her glass of water in a couple gulps.

"I knew you'd object to the drug Dr. Takumi prescribed so I had the kitchen staff incorporated it into the soup and the salad."

Surprised filtered across her face, "What kind of drug?"

"The babies are in distress; according to Takumi you're overdue."

"What? At eight months? That is absurd!"

"You're carrying twins, it's possible. Given their sizes, if I allow you have them when they decide to come there'll likely be complications."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I," he confessed. "I can only cooperate to ensure the greatest possibility of yours and the babies' safety."

"What kind of medication?" she pressed.

"The kind that you need not worry about..." he answered retrieving her empty tray, settling it on the trolley.

"What kind of drug?"

Annoyance flickered across his face, but then he gave a resigned sigh. He sank down on the bed next to her. "Something of a sedative nature."

She couldn't help but feel that he was lying to her but thought better than to argue. "Hanabi seems nice,"  
>she said changing the subject.<p>

She glanced up to check his reaction. His lips came together in a firm line as he stared back at her. "She'll come around," he said grimly. "Hanabi is the least of your worries. I'll deal with her."

"I like your room," she said out of the blue while glancing around the impressive room. "Fit for a king."

He chuckled softly, "You ought to get some rest," he rose from the bed.

"I'd hate to kick you out of your own room. Why don't you stay with me?" she suggested coyly. "You must be tired too."

If he hadn't looked so tortured, she would've laugh. Though it was hard work to keep her expression neutral as he grappled with her request.

"No," came his flat response.

An exasperated shriek left her lips, startling him with her ferocity. Anger and disappointment burned in her eyes. She felt like crying, and she did just that, after all it was public knowledge that the great Neji Hyuuga was not immune to tears.

"Sakura please don't do that," he pled running his hands through his hair.

She laid on her side, turning her back to him sobbing, "I don't mean to be a bother to you."

He cursed beneath his breath finding himself settling down beside her as though compelled. "I'll stay, just until you've fallen asleep," he sighed, tucking her into his arms. "Please stop the crying."

Sakura couldn't believe the ease with which he gave in. A victorious smirk curled the ends of her lips while she twisted about trying to find just the right spot.

"Quit moving around," he growled in her ear. He clamped his arms around her, rendering her immobile. Her cheeks flaming, she tried to relax. The moment he'd touched her, her fatigue had fled. Now she was faced with the challenge of trying to sleep with him wrapped around every inch of her body.

"I should cry for things more often," she said to herself sighing in contentment as his hand glided down her arm, to her hip, coming to rest on her swollen abdomen. The warmth of his hand bled into her.

She felt a wave of such utter rightness, though she was still trying to comprehend the depth of her feelings towards this man. He was complicated, there was no disputing that. Complex, hard and reserved. Well, if she'd broken down his barriers once, then surely she could do so again. And just maybe—maybe, she wouldn't have to devote the entire five years to making him fall in love with her.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura discovered she was in labor halfway down the stairs. Alone. She gripped the banister and doubled over as a contraction rippled across her abdomen. When she woke to the discomfort she had felt around the sheets for Neji but he wasn't there—somewhat expectedly. The room showed no signs of the nurse's return either. On the verge of panicking Sakura wobbled her way down the hall in hopes of finding someone.

Neji was going to be furious with her for attempting to dismount the stairs without someone by her side and, if the pain ripping out her insides was any clue, about to deliver. She stood on the step, holding on to the railing and taking deep breaths. She'd have called out if she weren't so busy sucking air through her nose.

She tried to stay calm, but her mind was buzzing with reasons why it was too soon to be going into labour. She hadn't an overnight bag packed. The nursery at her apartment wasn't built to accommodate two. Neji hadn't gotten a chance to speak with his uncle. She hadn't thought about baby names. She hadn't shaved her legs. And the most frightening one of them all, she was not mentally prepared for this moment.

She was almost down the stairs when she heard footsteps echoing across marble floor. She straightened and tried her best to look as though nothing was wrong but it was to no avail she doubled over again as another contraction hit. Her vision blurred with its intensity.

"Neejiii!" she yelped grabbing a hold of her turning stomach.

"Are you alright?"

"I swear on my life Neji, if these babies don't come now, I'm going up there for them myself!"

"Sakura?" he started towards her a disapproving expression marring his face. "What are you doing here?"

She had come to the realization that Neji made a habit out of asking the dumbest fucking questions, and at the most crucial times. What the fuck did he mean by what she was doing here? She was about to fucking push out what he'd put in!

Dropping a briefcase that he'd been carrying, he scooped her into his arms and hurtled down the stairs, shouting for a helicopter pilot. "I'm not paying you all to stand and look around," he barked at three maids who filed into the massive hall after they heard his booming request.

It was then that she realized that it wasn't Neji who had been holding her up for support all along.

A sob ripped from her throat as she dissolved into tears, "Hiashi-sama?"

Then her water broke; now she had all rights to panic. Shit just got real.

**A/N: So I don't know if this was worth the wait. Hopefully it hadn't sucked. **

**ONE REQUEST: ****In your reviews please comment boy/girl to indicate the gender you want Sakura's babies to be. Whichever gender gets the most votes shall be the gender of the babies****.**

**I feel like I'll have to beg for reviews after this chapter :( so it's 15 to 20 reviews that'll land another update. I hate doing this lol, makes me feel like a bitch haha. But I'm obsessed with getting feedback. Reading without reviewing is a crime, so help to put a stop to violence on fanfiction by clicking the review button.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**A/N: I guess you've all figured that my interest in this story has dwindled somewhat. I'm surprised that I haven't quit because it's something I've become accustomed to doing. But when you've got loyal readers, you just got to continue for their sake ^-^ **

**You guys are amazing! I love you all! Seriously \o/ Thanks for reading, reviewing and the name suggestions :) I wish that I could use them all! *sobs dramatically***

A surge of panic hit her. Sakura swallowed and worked to keep her expression bland. Her skin had taken on a clammy sheen and her eyes had flickered once too often with increasing pain. She squeezed her eyes shut against the wave of nausea that swept through her and by sheer will-power kept down the exquisite meal she had eaten earlier.

"What are you doing here?" Hiashi's demand pierced through her misery.

She hesitated for a brief second. "Where's Neji?" Another wave of nausea hit. "I need to go home." she muttered through gritted teeth. She couldn't possibly be going into labour, she thought to herself. It was too early, not here! Not right now!

His eyes popped open—only slightly, in disbelief. "Don't make such rash decisions you foolish girl." He glanced over his shoulders at the endless flight of stairs she had attempted to dismount. "What I'd like to know..." his voice rose, "...Is what a pregnant woman was doing climbing the stairs unaccompanied by someone!"

The servants shuffled nervously about as though willing one another to speak on their behalf.

"My Lord if I could just—" one of the more outspoken maids interjected but was coldly put in her place by the overbearing household head. He looked just about ready to behead the poor woman.

"Silence!" he roared settling Sakura in a wheelchair provided by the said maid. "I have zero tolerance for such negligence in my household."

She sat nervously in the wheelchair, her fingers clutched tightly around the blanket a maid had draped over her lap. "Really, I'm fine. I just really need to see Neji..." Sakura squinted in pain.

The man's nostrils flared in anger. Though he appeared calm and collected on the surface, she observed a raw quality gnawing at the edges of his restraint, a ferocity struggling for expression. He focused his ashen gaze on her and she met it head-on. Slowly the anger eased and when he spoke it was with impressive composure. "Why are you so taken with my nephew?"

His enquiry had distracted her and some of the tension in her gut ebbed.

A succession of emotions churned through her, knotting painfully inside her chest and tightening her throat so that she could hardly breathe. Tears welled up in her eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop them from falling. "That's a question I often ask myself," she mumbled inaudibly.

She had never truly understood the depth of her feelings towards Neji. She thought it only natural that she felt some sort of emotional attachment to him since she was carrying his children. But she couldn't fathom why, when or how it had evolved beyond that. She had been determined not to fall in love with him. She had warned herself a countless number of times against giving him more than he was prepared to offer her—more than what he deserved.

Hiashi frowned at her.

She suspected that it all happened around the time he suggested marriage. It had stunned her just how far he was willing to go just to secure his children's heritage. He was willing to blackmail her into a marriage, sabotage his engagement with Temari and exploit Hyuuga laws, and strangely enough Sakura had admired that greatly. It led her to wonder the sort of loyalty and commitment he would show her if he was actually in love with her.

He kept her best interest at heart even if he weren't too keen on admitting it. He made sure that after their five year long charade she'd have something to show for it. A third of all he owned would be hers as the contract had outlined and she would also be able to further her studies during the five years at his expense. And then it occurred to her that he wasn't just securing the future of his children as heirs but also hers and her career as well. She found that most of the provisions his contact stated were more to her benefit rather than his, he intended to spare no expenses at facilitating her usual luxuries—not that she had many.

She respected his intentions though there was something so cruel about the way he'd willingly manipulated situations to suit his liking. Yet, he was handing her the moon and possibly the sun and stars. With patronage from him her career would be assured. Her children would not be in need of anything. Could she do that though? Share his bed knowing that some day in the future he'd be letting her go, albeit leaving her with a glittering career as a token?

It was pathetic but at that thought, all the ambition that Sakura had always harboured felt very flat. If she had the choice then she'd take Neji's love over launching a successful career. A career could always be pursued, love on the other hand... But clearly love was not a word in his vocabulary—and if he were to truly ever settle down, she was absolutely sure it would be with someone prominently more suitable than herself. It was evident that it never occurred to Neji to think of her as someone he might love and want to commit to permanently. She should hate him for showing her how indifferent he was to her, Sakura told herself, but somehow she felt too sick at heart to do it.

She had been plagued by guilt at the fact that she hadn't signed Neji's contract for the sake of giving into his persuasion but into her own. It was a gamble of the heart but she thought a shot was all she needed to make him realize that they shared more than just two children.

She had to exercise caution around him. He had developed self-reliance and rigid self-discipline at a very early age while learning to hide and suppress his emotions.

She loved him wholeheartedly yes, but she wasn't entirely sure where she stood with him.

If she wasn't careful she'd end up getting her heart broken. There was a hesitation about him that niggled at her, as though he wanted to keep a certain amount of distance between them. She didn't want that. She wanted him to love her as she loved him—though_ love_ couldn't sum what she felt for him.

Well, she had won him over once—she had a pair of twins to show for it—but in her current state, seduction was out of the question. So this time she opted to doing it the old-fashioned way by making him fall in love with her.

"Summon my nephew at once," Hiashi ordered dragging Sakura from her thoughts.

No, she thought with a gasp but had to refrain from making her displeasure vocal for she winced as another wave of pain came rippling through her abdomen. She smoothed a hand over the swell of her belly as one of the maids grasped the handles of the wheelchair and began pushing Sakura down the hallway towards the entrance.

She could hear the sound of the helicopter somewhere outside, she felt it in the way the wheelchair seemed to be vibrating as it went down the marbled hallway. Then the front door burst open, the window blew a frenzy, and she shivered against the slight chill. Her hair was blown out of its ponytail with the harshness of the wind current, courtesy of the chopper which gracefully landed in their massive front yard which seemed to have been designed for such accommodation.

"My Lady, Sir Hyuuga will be with you momentarily," the maid whispered apologetically.

"No," Sakura held unto the woman's hand. "Neji mustn't be dragged into this."

"My Lady, surely he'll want to be there for the birthing of his children," the woman's dark gaze studied Sakura.

"Hiashi..." she tried to speak but a cry wrenched from her throat. She felt wetness on her cheeks and realized she'd been crying. Her heart still raced with panic, and she couldn't dispel the awful feeling of foreboding that had gripped her.

"You needn't worry about my uncle," Neji's voice startled her even as his hands closed around her shoulders, and he came to stand beside her. The wind rustled his dark hair leaving many loose strands to frame his face. He looked like sensual, celestial being in all his glory. "You have more important concerns," he said it as placid as she supposed anyone could have said something.

But his eyes hadn't met hers and she knew instantly, that he was just as nervy as she was. Mind you, Neji didn't eagerly flaunt his emotions but Sakura had grown to notice even the slightest crack in his stoic mask. And if the slight flare of his nostrils, the slight furrow of his brows and the slight twitch of the grim line of his lips were any consolation, Hyuuga Neji was having both a mental and emotional meltdown.

She stared up at him, watched slow mortification burn its way through his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat, and all she could do was tilt her head to the side against his thigh as he stood beside her. His spicy scent surrounded her, blocking out the salt in the air and the fragrance of the nearby garden. Warmth enveloped her and bled into her body. "This is it," she whispered.

She felt him shudder and imagined the frantic rhythmic beating of her heart meshing with his.

It wasn't like they'd offer him any comfort but the words I love you involuntarily rushed up from her pounding heart, and she had to press her lips together to keep herself from saying them out loud. They weren't words she took lightly, though she had been thoroughly convinced that she was in love with Sasuke at some point. But she'd never been tempted to utter them to anyone before, until now…

It was definitely too soon to tell him, too inappropriate the time. He'd not only think she was crazy, she'd probably scare him off. There was no need to rush; they'd be living in the same house for the next couple of years. Things were bound to get heated at some point. He was a man after all and she was determined to prove herself as a woman.

That realization suffused her with a profound sense of peace, and she could almost feel the out-of-alignment parts of her life shifting back into balance—like car gears slipping into place.

But it wasn't enough. And she intended to see to it that it didn't have to be.

Neji dismissed the help and began to steer Sakura towards the open door of the awaiting helicopter where Hiashi stood grating at the pilot. "Hanabi what are you doing?" he turned to look at the incoming party.

Neji glanced over his shoulders to see his little cousin struggling with an overnight bag. She didn't look the slightest bit pleased at her own actions yet she managed a smile for nii-san. But Hanabi's smile faded when Hiashi's eyes went cold and hard. A shiver worked its way up her spine, and a knot formed in her stomach. He looked angry. No, he looked furious.

"It was Hinata's idea," she admitted.

The elder's clipped tone had her backing away. "Get back inside child."

Reaching down Neji swept Sakura into his arms. She let out a startled gasp as she landed against his hard chest. "It's fine, let her stay," he suggested. "I'll take her home later."

But Hiashi was resolute when he told both Hanabi and Neji that neither of them would accompany Sakura to the hospital. After hearing this Neji paled but he climbed into the helicopter with Sakura and Hanabi merely followed inside.

"The pilot will safely escort her to the hospital where I've already phoned the nurses and from there they shall take charge," he informed them.

Coldness wrapped around Neji's chest, squeezing until he couldn't draw a breath. "Surely you don't expect me to follow such orders." Though it was said with such audacity Sakura felt Neji's hands trembled as it held unto hers. But she felt a tremor that seemed to have raked from the very essence of her own being.

Hiashi looked tiredly at his nephew. "I honestly don't know what has gotten into you these days. You're not—"

All heads turned in Sakura's direction. She had her hands latched around her stomach and she was moaning in utter agony, thrashing her pink head from side to side. Despite the cool interior of the small aircraft sweat was trickling down her temples. Her skin had paled dramatically and her eyes gone red from reacting naturally to her ordeal.

Hanabi whimpered curving her arm over her chest in a moment of alarm.

Neji bit his lips, horror threatening to overtake him. "What's the matter?"

"Neji!" Her insides felt as though it was being obliterated then liquefied. She felt something pool up in the bottom of her stomach then sought exit. It was warm and thick and had her screaming at the top of her lungs. "Neji I'm bleeding!"

The Hyuuga froze.

OoOoOoOo

Neji rubbed his arms, fighting a rising sense of panic—near hysteria—as he paced the outside of Sakura's private room. The doors, he knew, were locked. He'd tried them, rattled the handles helplessly, unable to believe they'd actually locked him outside without a word of explanation…without his damn wife.

He pressed a fist to his trembling lips—having long forgotten to keep his cool—and willed the panic to recede. He needed to be calm, to think clearly, rationally. His uncle was in there with her, she would be fine. No, he decided, she'd only be fine if he was in there with her.

He knew enough about fetal distress to know that Sakura was doing far worse than he was at the moment. An unusual case it was, though he had suspected the possibility during the earlier stages of her pregnancy because she had often been unwell and uncomfortable. But over time she gradually began to adjust and was well enough to be an occasional pain in his ass. So he doubted that it would have ever been a problem until they discovered she had been carrying twins all along.

It had been an hour and a half, an endless ninety minutes. He resisted the urge to go to the door and rattle the knob once more, to pound and kick and scream until he was heard. Such antics would surely only weaken his position, and he needed to be calm.

A sound at the door had all sense of calm leaving him as he flew to it, his breath heaving in his chest. The door opened and Hiashi stood there, looking all too calm, all too unruffled in his green overalls and face mask. The other doctors dispersed and ventured into different directions.

"What's happening?" he demanded.

"Father what is going on?" Hanabi enquired as well.

Hiashi moved out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. "Sakura's babies are under severe fetal distress. With their sizes exceeding the capacity of her womb it's somehow reducing their oxygen supply via the umbilical cord." He tore the mask from his face. "Her twins are long overdue and on top of that her contractions are coming too fast."

Neji frowned, an uneasy confusion filling him. Even though his uncle was still with his gaze on the tiled floor, Neji sensed an uncertainty in him…a restless darkness that told him Hiashi hadn't much fate in Sakura's situation.

"What does that mean?" Hanabi asked.

Neji felt an uncharacteristic hiccupy sob rise from his throat and he swallowed it back as Hiashi explained the previous procedures carried out on Sakura to come by such conclusions.

Apparently they had taken blood samples from each twin via a metal tube which they had inserted in Sakura. Through the tube they had sprayed each head with a cold anaesthetic, then carefully inserted a small needle along the metal tube. This Hiashi told them had not hurt either child as the needle made only a pinprick on their heads. From the blob of blood that appeared on their scalps they captured a small bit into individual glass tubes and tested its oxygen-level.

"Well. it means that we've got to keep Sakura under EFM, electronic fetal monitoring. We're monitoring her contractions and the babies' heartbeats."

His voice rose with particularly this question until it neared a shriek. "Not by FSE?" his lips pressed together, his face turning hard again.

"The fetal scalp electrode gives a more accurate reading of the baby's heartbeat than a sensor on the belly. And since her water had broken the other doctors thought it best," Hiashi stated brusquely. "I can assure you that it does no harm to the baby. We've given her an—"

Neji cut him off with a furious hand "May I see her?" he suddenly asked.

Hiashi did not look pleased by his nephew's brusqueness. A frown worked over his face, and his lips turned down into a dissatisfied moue. "I'd like to think that its only family members…but I suppose—"

The door opened then shut and before he knew it, he was glaring at the spot where Neji had stood impatiently just seconds ago.

The sight Neji stumbled upon was not that of the Sakura he was accustomed to seeing. This one looked frail and broken—too vulnerable—as she laid on her left side watching the movement of the monitor where three lines were graphed on its screen.

One of the graphs he realized, indicated her contractions and the other two showed Baby A's and Baby B's heart rates. Coming to think of it, he and Sakura had never discussed names before. And seeing them label his children as though they were supermarket items made him wished he hadn't tried to evade such intimate discussions with the pinkette.

He faintly heard his name over the sound of her oxygen mask.

"Sakura?" he crept further into the dim room.

She stirred a little but didn't turn to look at him, this he was thankful for because in that moment, after seeing all her wires and tubes, he felt guilty.

He had done this to her.

He noted with slight relief that they had an epidural catheter set up; this one had a pump attached to the other end as a means of continuously feeding pain-relieving epidural solution into her back.

At least she wouldn't be in any pain, he thought. But Neji could just imagine how uncomfortable she must be, having to lie on one side because of that needle embedded into the space between a layer of tissue in her spinal column. She was rendered nearly immobile being limited to made do with only one hand. The other, he realized had nested a Syntocinon drip.

They intended to induce labour, he realized with a shock. This meant that the babies may need to be born with the aid of forceps, as epidurals make it difficult for babies to move into the best position for birth. He did not like the idea one bit. Sakura would probably have to get stitches after that.

"I'm never having another child," she muttered barely audibly.

She was talking. Neji let his breath out, relief sliding over him and lightening his worry.

With a light shake of his dark head he pulled a chair to the side of the bed and settled his large frame into it. He was mildly surprised when she reached out for his hand, and despite his instinct to do so, he didn't retract it.

The shadows gave her expression a sensual intensity, a passionate power that caught at his throat and increased his heartbeat to a drum roll. He needed to compose himself.

He studied her for a moment; her pale face bathed in the pale light from the monitor casting a rosy glow on her features, framed by her pink hair. She was beautiful; he couldn't deny her that, even in the state that she was in. And before his mind could even process what he was doing, he brought her wrist to his lips.

She looked at him with a jumble of emotions swirling in her eyes, one of which was fear. It stunned him momentarily. He had never seen her quail at anything. She was always stubborn and self-possessed and intent on provoking him. But just now, in those arresting emerald orbs he glimpsed a weakness in her internal fortress, a vulnerability in those impenetrable—or so he thought—walls.

He had known that she felt something for him way before she became aware of it herself. He had seen it in her eyes from the first night; that look which told you her stomach had swooped downward as though she was falling. It seemed crazy, but that was precisely how he felt—as if he was in an emotional free fall. But Sakura had gone from zero to lust to halfway in love in a millisecond. Or so it would seem, what else could have explained her willingness to yield to him like a weapon would to its wielder?

Of course this gave him the advantage that he needed, but long gone were the days when he'd use people's emotions against them for his gain. Especially if engaging in such would mean gambling his own fragile belief in devotion.

The reality had hit him like an open-handed slap. How was it possible that he'd struck her so fiercely, so completely and quickly? That she felt so in tune with him, liked him so much, after such a short acquaintance and after he'd manipulated her into this love-less marriage? He shook his head; maybe love was too much of a strong word.

"I couldn't agree more," he finally said in response to her declaration. He stroked her hair, "What are the doctors saying?"

"They're considering assisted birth," she said weakly.

"Labour induction?" Not that he hadn't already figure that part out already, he was after all, a doctor's nephew.

She coughed and he winced seeing the blatant discomfort on her face. Slowly the tight knot in his belly unraveled, and he observed her closely. The quiet sadness in her voice disarmed him. "Your uncle was rather rough with me earlier. It led me to think that perhaps you had spoken with him?"

Neji half shrugged, embarrassed. He closed his eyes, rubbed his jaw and admitted to both himself and Sakura that he hadn't the slightest clue how he should approach his uncle about their scandalous affair.

She gave his hand a squeeze, her unusually tender eyes flashing. "Then we'll do it together." At this Neji scoffed, it didn't go unnoticed by Sakura. Was that a hint of satisfaction in those rich green eyes?

He was thoroughly appalled at the idea that she thought him not brave enough to face up to an old man. His response wasn't swift but he managed to free his hand of her gasp. His eyes must have grown cold because he sensed her withdrawal as well.

"Neji…" her voice wavered.

He instantly recognised his mistake. He could see the hurt spread across her face, even thoughshe made an effort to hide it, and an apology formed on his lips. But he remained silent. In that light, his humiliation seemed silly. What he'd perceived as mockery had in fact been an act of caring on her part. His shoulders sagged as his breath escaped in a sigh.

"You and that damned male pride of yours!" he found himself staring into angry eyes, her voice clipped. "I don't think many women would have been able to put up with your antics if you hadn't that pretty face of yours." But instead of looking abashed, her lips curved upward into a wicked smile, creasing that sexy dimple in her cheek, though it didn't quite reach her eyes…her beautiful jaded orb that usually sparkled with mirth and mischief.

He wanted them to sparkle again.

"I'm sorry," to his relief the chill left her eyes at his apology but she rolled them nevertheless and practically hissed.

"Just get me something to eat; I'm your respon—" He sensed the lump growing in her throat as he knelt before her, carefully putting his hands on her belly. "—Neji Hyuuga what are you doing?"

The heat that flared in her eyes raised his temperature several degrees, as did the low groan that escaped him. As he knelt down before her he didn't know why he found it a challenge for him to take his eyes from her. "Surely you don't expect to carrying on with this Baby A and Baby B non-sense."

Visibly she flushed underneath his touch and oddly enough, the knowledge pleased him. "We hadn't talked about names," Her grin flashed, but her eyes remained serious, searching his, "But if they're boys I'm naming them."

Neji winced, aside from names, he'd never thought of the twins as bearing genders either.

He only thought of them as heirs. Somewhere along the line of pretending their arrangement was merely just a business negotiation he hadn't considered such petty things as important. It was just another one of those bridges he decided that they would've to cross when they got there.

"Hn." Under his hand one of the babies moved—a tiny flutter of life. His eyes lit up with wonder.

"And you'd get to name them if they turn out to be girls."

Besides Sakura, Hinata and Hanabi were the only names that came to his indifferent mind. He regretted making that thought vocal because Sakura gave a derisive snort and muttered something along the line of him being a fucking pain.

Well he'd like to think they shared a trait. Though he couldn't help smirking at the way she tore his hand from her swollen middle. Yes, he managed to tick her off. Again.

"I thought about Hitomi," she tried to keep her tone even, and her gaze polite.

Neji looked at her with a slightly startled expression. "Pupil?"

Sakura swore softly. "It's usually given to girls with especially beautiful eyes." He waited for the word _idiot_ to follow but she went on, "But if they don't get your eyes then I guess not."

His chest contracted. "You think my eyes are beautiful?" he asked before being able to stop himself.

She blushed furiously but her face had assumed a deadpan expression when she nodded almost reluctantly.

Neji shut his eyes, feeling each second pass in time to his heartbeat. A scowl surfaced shortly after he felt himself going a little red. "I think it's best to decide on names after you've delivered."

"How about Akio?" she enquired lightly, peering up at him through her lashes.

Love-child, he thought with skepticism. They may have been conceived out of wedlock but he and Sakura were married now—even if she hadn't a ring to show for it—so he had ruled out branding any offspring of his as a love-child, however lovely of a name Akio was.

"No," he said with a reluctance that unaccountably annoyed Sakura.

"Kimiko?"

He liked that one, empress child; noble child—a name suiting for any child of his—a Hyuuga. He nodded once, Sakura didn't look pleased.

"I'm not surprised that you liked that one," she snarled. "You arrogant, vain—"

He stopped her right there, "Says the woman who puts up with me because of my apparent good looks."

Something flashed in her eyes, she glared at him. "They're not apparent," she narrowed her eyes. "And I put up with you because I have to."

He almost laughed in disbelief, not too sure why he was teasing.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura stared up at him as her heart lurched crazily into her ribs. She had never seen him looked this amused before. It wasn't until she realized what she had said that it began to dawn on her that she wore her heart on her sleeve. She was absolutely transparent. But seeing as though Neji only cracked a smile once in a blue moon…she decided that she'd entertain his ego a while so as to bask in this rare occurrence, because it was nice.

Her eyes moved over his face, he was too beautiful to be just an ordinary man. So tall and strapping, with long black hair that hung in loosely over his shoulders, he looked like an angel. "My husband's prettier than I am," she tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ears with her free hand.

She could envision her sons now, they'd have Neji's features and perhaps a little of his arrogance. They would look at her with Neji's eyes and she would melt with love for them and the man who had fathered them. But she also saw two daughters—long, dark satiny hair, green eyes that rivaled that of lush vegetation and beauty that would go without envy even by the Gods themselves.

He shook his head slowly. His hand touched her cheek. It was warm, hot actually. Slowly it moved up her cheek in a sensual caress that sent Sakura into a head spin of dizziness. Fainting was a definite possibility. But then he didn't seem the least bit amused anymore. And without the amusement, he didn't seem quite so angelic either. Brought down to earth, as it were, he was just a man, and possibly dangerous.

"Don't say silly things like that," he said, still gazing at her face.

She laughed—however painful it was to do so—while recalling a snide remark Naruto had made about Neji when they had faced off in her apartments months ago. Shouldn't you be in a box somewhere on a shelf, waiting for some unfortunate girl to come along? Naruto had asked him.

"Certainly my uncle will be wondering what I'm doing in here this long," he rose to full length.

He was going to leave; she realized having felt the warmth of his hand retracting and the emptiness assuming its usual place in her heart. She wanted to ask him to stay but she thought better of it. He had obligations to fulfill; surely one couldn't expect him to stay in the hospital nursing his pregnant wife. Nope, he had more important matters to attend to.

The door opened, a head popped in, "Nii-san?"

Sakura knew that voice anywhere.

"Just so there are no questions Sakura…" Neji was saying but she wasn't following. It was not until Hinata came into the room and sat before her that Sakura understood. Her eyes widened as she looked down at the rings in the large leather case Hinata had opened in her lap. "We had the jeweller send a variety of rings for you to choose from."

There were solitaires in a variety of shapes and cuts, coloured diamonds surrounded by diamonds, diamonds surrounded by diamonds—so much in fact the light reflected from the rings almost dazzled her.

Her heart started to thump loudly until it felt as though it took a nosedive into her stomach. She couldn't believe this at all. "This really isn't necessary," she looked up at him, tears stinging her eyes, not sure why. But of course her excuse was always the same—pregnancy hormones.

A wedding band made a statement. It would serve as a constant reminder of the commitment she was forced into making with him. But that wasn't the problem…a ring would symbolize the love that was not reciprocated. It'd make things seem too finalized, too real and she didn't wish to be hopeful.

"I don't like any of them."

Hinata turned to look uncertainly at Neji.

"Why not?" she asked.

"They're all too big and eye-catching," Sakura wanted something that she wouldn't notice was there. "I want something much smaller."

"Just how much smaller?" Neji asked dryly, she could tell that he was little irritated. He was after all a Hyuuga, accustomed to the lavish lifestyle of a prince. Obviously we wanted his wife—even if she was just for show—to look up to par with their family standards. But not all gold glitters and not all that glitters was gold.

In order words an expensive ring may deceive outside eyes but it wouldn't change a thing between the parties involved. She sighed.

"How about something like this?" he asked, reaching into his pockets and removed a small white velvet box which he opened to reveal a plain, perfectly pain solitaire set in what Sakura assumed must be platinum—on a narrow platinum band. Neji didn't know why this particular ring made him think of Sakura, but he had asked for it to be boxed separately. And seeing the expression that morphed unto her face he knew just how she felt about it.

The ring was so simple, so perfect that Sakura fell in love with it immediately.

Neji removed the ring from the box and held it out to her, but for some reason, automatically, really, without thinking about what she was doing—rather than take it from him, Sakura extended her finger towards him instead.

There was a moment of tangible silence. Hinata played nervously with her fingers. Neji looked at Sakura and she looked back at him.

"Sorry," she mumbled finally opening her palm to receive the ornate piece of jewelry but had to retract her hand after realizing that Neji made no attempt to give her the ring. Yet precisely before the single tear that threatened to escape could fall Neji caught her hand, curled his fingers around her wrist and slowly slid the ring onto her wedding ring finger.

"It's beautiful nii-san," Hinata voluntarily exclaimed seeing that Sakura did not offer an input.

It fitted her perfectly. It looked and felt as though it had been made for her. She was at lost for words—literally. Emotion choked her voice and tears stung her eyes. She didn't want to acknowledge the ring as a symbol of their love and commitment, or as something binding them together but it suddenly began to possess a significance that touched her far more deeply than she had expected.

She looked up in his face, tears pooling in her eyes, it was all too overwhelming for her to stop them. It was as though all that she had once felt and all that she felt collided and spread throughout her aching heart.

"You're not looking to pull that card again?" Neji asked looking a bit uneasy. Both females knew of Neji's hatred of tears, but what they didn't know was that his dislike amounted to a phobia when it came to Sakura's.

"I can't do this," Sakura said. But as she spoke she heard her own voice crack. She pressed her quivering lips together and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears from falling.

At this Hinata got to her feet allowing Neji to reclaim his seat and rub away the tracks Sakura's tears had made on her face. "What is it? Are you uncomfortable?"

She blinked and her vulnerability slowly disappeared as she slapped his hand away from her face, "You make me uncomfortable," she spat almost bitterly. She settled for anger because in her quest to find balance, Neji threw her heart and thoughts in mayhem.

"How so?" Why did he seem so genuinely displeased at the thought?

"You make me feel as though I've got to hide behind a mask every time I'm around you."

Hinata stood nervously drawing circles on the floor with her foot, not too sure if she was to disrupt the two by begging them pardon.

Neji cupped Sakura's face in his palm. For a long moment, he stared at her. "Why is that?"

"Because I…I have to…because," words failed her. Light blazed in her green eyes; giving into frustration she threw her hand around his neck and lowered his head to hers. Her breath caught in her throat and hung there as his lips hovered over hers. A fierce longing ignited within her, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than his mouth on hers. Then he kissed her, or she kissed him…she really wasn't sure how their lips met, but meet they did, and it was the most profound kiss in the history of kisses.

A bolt of electricity shot down her spine and rebounded, spreading through her body like wildfire. "It's because I have to pretend that I don't love you."

With unexpected abruptness, he pulled back from the kiss.

She stared at him in startled silence. All she could hear was the sound of her own breathing and the rapid beating of her heart. All she could see was his face, his expression intense but unreadable. He still held unto her, but not so tightly as before.

A blushing Hinata excused herself after another moment of awkward silence. Neither of the two seemed to have taken notice of her departure.

Tension was evident in every line of his body, and in profile his face showed an expression that was as rigid as the rest of him. His eyes were on her and his voice was as hard as his body language. "What?"

He just stared at her in absolute shock. His chest felt rigid and drawing breath was suddenly hard.

She stared up at him with wide eyes, looking uncertain even though she was the one who'd said the unfathomable thing. Blood was thudding relentlessly in her temples, making it almost impossible to think straight. She couldn't bring herself to say it again, not after the way he was looking at her.

A horrible sensation churned in the pit of her stomach as she watched him clenched his teeth, biting back the turmoil that she knew was rising within him. He looked away briefly.

The shattered bits of her heart became dust. She bit her lower lip and meeting his eyes with a cloudy green gaze. Still neither of them said anything.

She watched him, waiting for his response—but he said nothing. A second later he stood up and made his way across the room. Sakura stared after him in shock.

She'd never expected him to be angry, then again, she hadn't expected to glimpse the expression of pure horror that had flashed across his face as he left. He looked utterly appalled. She stared at his back, feeling curiously detached from the situation, he was nearly out the door.

"Sakura?"

Sakura stared at him in bewilderment. A glimmer of hope was growing in her heart, but she wouldn't give free rein to it—not yet. She listened expectantly.

"Thank you."

Then he was gone. Along with the pile of crumbs which had become her heart. And she was left to feel stupid. No not stupid, that was far too weak a word. Anger raged inside of her, at herself. Sickening, gut-churning, it was like acid inside her. Eating her up. Would she ever learn? How much longer would she continue to be this insanely, criminally stupid—so pathetically, abjectly naïve?

If Sasuke didn't…if she doesn't… she suspected that she couldn't expect Neji…to love her.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura woke up in a strange bed for the first time since that night at the inn. It was a comfortable bed with soft sheets and duvet weight. The sense of warmth and safety that enveloped her would have lured her back into slumber except that a nurse was standing by her bedside placing a cuff around her arm to take her blood pressure.

"Her blood pressure has decreased significantly," she mumbled. "Great, she's awake. Would you like something to eat Sakura?" she asked brightly as she removed the cuff.

The very thought of food made her nauseous.

Sakura looked up in surprise to see Neji looming behind the nurse, a determined look on his face. The woman turned and smiled at him then reached back and patted Sakura's arm. "Anxious lad he is," she must have been referring to Neji. "He hasn't left your side since you fell asleep."

She spared him a glance but was only reminded of the pain which no amount of medication could relieve.

"Are you hungry?" he queried as his gaze slid over her rumpled form.

"No," oh how she wished she could turn on the other side. She didn't want to look at him and she didn't want him to look at her either.

"Very well then Sakura, I'll be down the hall if you need me," she said as she turned to go.

When the door shut behind the nurse, Neji pulled the chair closer to her bed again. Then he settled in front of her once more. He remained quiet however staring blankly at her with those all-seeing eyes which seemed to have a blind spot for love.

Their gaze met briefly and that was all it took to send a jolt through her central nervous system. Her blood thundered in her ears and surged through her veins. Then the beeping sound of the machines went haywire. And before she got the opportunity to panic the room was filled with green suits and white masks. The place was in a complete frenzy and though she couldn't see the faces behind the mask she could sense the tension amongst the doctors.

She scowled while watching a much smaller figure handing Neji complimentary gears as well. She would have protested except that she was busy squirming when she recognized the petite form to be that of Hanabi Hyuuga. She grimaced at the thought of either one of them being allowed to witness her giving birth.

Of course Neji was probably well acquainted with her anatomy by now, having slept with her and given her a bath before. But then she had been half way between actuality and delusion, now that she was sober and sane it was no desire of hers for him to take such a thorough inventory. Especially given the state of her body.

She cringed.

"The cervix isn't fully dilated to 10 centimetres," one of the doctors was saying urgently.

"The babies' heart rates are falling; there is no time for that," the cold voice sounded like Hiashi's. What was he still doing here?

"Are you suggesting caesarean delivery?" another voice asked.

"What?" Sakura gasped in shock. "No! No!" she screamed. "Neji tell them no!"

She felt a hand—or rather—hands steadying her to lie on her back. They nudged up her legs and she laid there feeling exposed, embarrassed and a little awkward. She knew the contractions were coming on strongly judging from the graphs on the monitor, luckily she felt numb or she'd surely die from their intensity. Still, she had the most overwhelming urge to push, regardless of the fact that she hadn't a clue how to.

Sweat broke across her temples, this was really happening.

"Don't push just yet Sakura," a female voice addressed her this time, supposedly having read her mind.

Just how many of them were actually in the room with her? The terrible migraine that the epidural had initiated made it impossible for her to focus through the haze that clouded her field of vision. Her eyes felt as if they had been stabbed with roofing nails, pain pulsed from her temples like hammer blows. She felt like someone had stuck her head inside a steel helmet was continuously banging at it with a bat.

She could vaguely make out Hinata standing from afar watching keenly or perhaps ensuring that her video recorder was doing just that. Sakura shrieked, putting a hand to her throbbing temple, "Turn that damned thing off!"

"Language…" Neji growled.

"I'm allowed to express myself whichever way I find suiting. I'm in labour!" she yelled angrily then felt herself pushing without the desire to do so. A searing pain broke between her thighs and she yelped feeling herself tear. Neji offered her his hand but she scoffed and told him that he looked ridiculous in his get-up.

"She shouldn't be feeling any pain, this is bad," one of the doctors positioned her spectacles on the bridge of her nose.

Sakura shivered when she felt a cold substance much like the one Takumi had used being rubbed over her belly. Then came the weight of the familiar small device that trailed over the slippery tracks made by the gel.

All eyes were glued to the large screen above the smaller monitors, "There's movement along the lower abdomen region but the baby doesn't seem to be progressing any lower," Hiashi was explaining now. "Her pelvis is not big enough to accommodate both babies and so it's hindering the delivery route."

"In not so many words, they're stuck?" Neji asked incredulously. "Uncle?"

His expression twisted with remorse beneath his mask as he continued. "At this point a caesarean section is her best hope."

"Stuck?" dizziness washed over her.

Neji brushed his fingertips over the gentle slope of her cheek, "That's out of the question. She said it herself that she doesn't want one,"

Hanabi touched his arm, "You heard what father said nii-san."

"The decision is not for either of you to make," another doctor grated impatiently at the young Hyuuga duo. "Hiashi-sama sir," the man addressed the elder politely though there was nothing polite about how he chose to voice his displeasure with the permitting of Neji, Hanabi and Hinata into the room. "This is not a family fair; I'll have to ask your children to leave."

Hiashi gave the man a pained look, "If the patient hadn't a problem with them being in here, I don't see why you should. Instead of wasting time taking note of insignificant things you really ought to be thinking of a way to work around this young girl's plight."

"The cervix is at 8 centimetres sir, it's a gamble—"

"Make preparations for a caesarean section immediately," Hiashi instructed and the other doctors went scurrying about the room.

Sakura forgot to be angry at him and grabbed Neji's arm, "No! Make them stop!"

Being the nervy mess that he was at the moment he yielded to her childish demand but it was to no avail, Hiashi was adamant. "That's not your call."

"But isn't it hers?" he spat bitterly.

"I'm afraid my son, that's no longer the case."

Neji stood so still and so silent, as if he had stopped breathing.

She could only imagine the mental ordeal he must be facing given that he didn't express himself through physical release like the average person. His uncle had stuck around to guide Sakura's delivery even though this was protested against by Neji and his concerned siblings. They didn't wish to drop the bomb just yet, and she knew they hadn't, because Neji was still pretty much intact.

She rubbed his hand, whether it came off as a comforting or pleading gesture he didn't make her aware.

"It'll be fine Sakura," one of the doctors touched her arm, "Trust me."

"Tsunade?"

Sakura looked up in stunned relief at the blonde whom she hadn't seen in months. "I don't want to be cut opened." It wasn't your typical greeting but it worked.

"You won't feel a thing," she assured the pinkette.

Sakura did not look convinced.

"Your babies' heart rates are slowing; they need to be born within the next couple of minutes. You may not be feeling the contractions but physically you're not ready to deliver naturally."

"I can do this," she pressed.

"You'll only end up endangering yourself and the babies," she just wouldn't hear of it.

Neji eyed them both. "This isn't the time to make small talk."

Tsunade's eyebrows twitched continuously, the veins on her temples pulsed visibly. It took a considerable amount of willpower to suppress the urge to smack Hiashi's prized heir across his head. "Who the hell let the toddlers in?" she asked loudly. "This isn't a play ground, Hyuuga, even if your uncle owns the damned place."

"This probably isn't a good time," Sakura twisted uncomfortably in her spot. "But Neji, this is my mentor, Tsunade; Tsunade meet my husband, Neji."

The two stared at each other for a long while until Neji scoffed and looked away.

The heavily endowed woman rolled her eyes knowing damn well that such puerile display of arrogance was only indigenous to Hyuugas.

"You can't be serious Sakura, Hyuuga Neji is the guy from the inn?" she asked in disbelief. "He's betrothed to the Sabaku heiress, is he not?" Tsunade lowered her voice dangerously. "How then can he be your husband?" she gaped at an assumption that came to mind. "I don't believe this!"

"Hn?" Sakura adopted Neji's nasty little habit.

"He's Hiashi's nephew! Are you trying to put your career on the line?"

Now they saw another emotion on the older woman's face, a heat raising that had nothing to do with curiosity. But then the machine buzzed again, all eyes diverted to the monitor. The tearing pain was back again, Sakura gasped the bed spread and arched her back.

"Do not attempt to push!" the unsuspecting Hyuuga head ordered.

But Sakura was already swirling, she felt them drifting downwards along with the splitting throb that was building up in her lower mid section. Apparently the epidural only worked for her contractions. "What are they doing standing around, N-neji?" she asked angrily thrashing her head from side the side. The headache, the heartache, the muscle ache, they attacked all at once. "They're coming!"

"I don't believe this," Tsunade was saying. "The first head is already in view."

"Sakura stop!" Neji sensed the ensuing danger. His mouth thinned to a tight line. There was enough to worry about with Hiashi's presence, he couldn't allow the possibility of harm to his children be added to this list. "Sedate her," he instructed, his light tone at odds with the worry in his eyes.

"No!" Hiashi objected calmly.

All movement in the room ceased. Everyone was looking towards him for some sort of explanations or further instructions since he retracted the previous ones.

Sakura's husband stood beside her, all signs of the respect she knew he held for the elder evaporating, as angry as she'd ever seen him. "What?"

The man folded his arms, his voice was cold, "If Sakura wants to do this the hard way, then let it be."

"Her cervix is not fully diluted—"

"There are potential risks—"

"We haven't much time to spare—"

"Sir her birth canal cannot—"

The excuses came like a tumultuous chorus but he dismissed all of them. "The woman wants to give birth naturally, who are we to deny her that?"

"But father…" Hinata started but had to settle for finishing with a sob after the man fixed her with a coldly formidable glare.

Hiashi's gaze was cold and intent, but so was Neji's. "How very hypocritical of you," he gave out. "You said it yourself that she hadn't much hope in that regard."

"There isn't much that we can do at this point; we have visible confirmation of the first foetus. She has already started the birthing process; we can only see her through it."

Sakura groaned, her face now soaked with sweat and tears. Neji felt useless standing around listening to her ragged breathing and occasional curses. His heart was splintering slowly, crumbling into small shards of pain. A turbulent mixture of rebellion and remembered remorse stiffened his spine. Muttering something explosive, Neji made a single, lithe movement—and stopped before his uncle. His face was set in stern, angry lines.

"How can you decide upon something so cruel?"

With everyone of Sakura's agonized groan Neji crept a little closer to his uncle. He was probably a second away from yanking the man by his collars when Hanabi threw her arms around his waist and pulled him back from behind. "Easy nii-san," she suggested tugging at the very reluctant Neji.

Hiashi looked at Sakura, then back at his pride and joy—though of late Neji was becoming more the product of his privileged childhood, frankly speaking—spoilt. Hiashi began to remove his gloves, "I've got a plane to catch," nobody believed the nerve of this man. "I've already wasted enough time. Tsunade shall take over."

"But we're in the middle—"

"—I'd like to think that I'm leaving everything in capable hands," he said with grave terseness. "I trust that you'll avoid any fatalities," he added sounding the least bit concerned.

Meanwhile Tsunade was coaxing Sakura along, telling her that she was doing great when in fact she had made no progress whatsoever. Everything was progressing too slowly regardless of her speedy contractions. "Push a little harder, there we go."

"Ne-ne-ne…" his name drowned in a sob. Neji was by her side in an instant again. His eyes were now on her, never flickering by a fraction. But there was something in their depths, something she could not recognize…something powerful and veiled.

"It's okay Sakura," he cooed. There was a profound seriousness with which he spoke when he requested a pair of gloves. "We're going to remove the epidural, its delaying the second stage of labour."

"That's precisely why we gave her the Syntocinon drip—to speed up the process," Tsunade said. "If you stop the continuous flow of the drug into her system, she'll be in immense pain."

"Just do it!" he growled.

Of course, with him being Hiashi's nephew and seeing as though his uncle made no objections the doctors went about getting Sakura into a sitting position to carry out the instructed procedure.

She threw back her head, pressing her lips together to stop the scream that seek escape. With the removal of the needle from her spine came an unsettling discomfort. "Ne-ne-ne!"

"Father!" Hinata begged this time, "Do something!"

"Be quiet Hinata!" Hiashi shouted. "And put that thing away," he said referring to the video recorder. "I don't know what has gotten into all of you?"

He glowered at Hanabi, whose behaviour shocked him the most. She was holding unto Sakura's hand and hating every minute of it, but the bottom line was, she was offering compassion and solace to the woman—a rather rare occurrence. The youngest Hyuuga didn't often regard anyone beside herself and her older cousin whom she idolized. By the look on her face she was concerned about Sakura but judging from the tears in her eyes as she watched Neji, her concern only amounted from her love for him.

Hiashi sighed, with Neji going rogue there's no doubt in his mind that Hanabi would soon follow suit. "Child, get over here!" he told her gruffly. And like he expected, because he raised her to respect authority, she came over. Two down, one more to go, he thought to himself. Honestly, raising three children was a piece of work, though they were mostly obedient. It was in these infrequent moments that their sense of righteousness got the better of their acquiescence. He understood that Sakura was their friend and that they were just offering the support that she clearly hadn't. But even he had to admit that there was a limit to integrity. He taught them morals yes, but he also taught them pride. What the hell was Neji doing with his arms outstretched between the young woman's legs?

Shock held him silent for a long moment. Until he heard it, the faint sound of a smack across skin and the piercing sound of a baby's cry. He couldn't believe that she—Sakura—did it, even without the aid of a suction device.

Hanabi disappeared from his side; Hinata was at it again with the camcorder and Neji…Hiashi cringed up his nose at Neji who now held the bloody mess of a child in his arms. He couldn't remember ever seeing Hyuuga Neji as anything less than supremely confident. In fact the boy looked just about ready to start wailing as well. It would appear that delivering a child was enough to shake even his equilibrium.

"Take that damned thing from him!" his voice cracked. "You don't get paid for my nephew to do your job!" Hiashi fumed. It was simply unacceptable that they'd allow his nephew to be tainted with common blood. Neji wouldn't hear the end of it later, he should have known better!

"Sir…" a nurse stole into the room after being summoned.

Neji looked at her, hard and cold. His pale eyes were icy and his jaw was clenched so tightly it was a wonder his teeth weren't powder. But he didn't answer.

The woman's mouth snapped closed, but she shot a look at the baby in his arm. Neji followed her gaze and Hiashi watched as the expression on his nephew's face shifted, going from cool disinterest to uncertainty.

"What?" he asked tightly, his eyes boring into hers.

The nurse chewed at her bottom lip, folded her arms over her chest as if she were trying to hold herself together and finally said, "The baby, sir…"

Neji looked at her then to the child he was now shaking lightly in his arms but he made no indication that he intended to hand her the baby.

"Just once more," Hanabi said wiping at Sakura's wet temples with her napkin. Hiashi arched a brow at this; it wasn't so much the notion but the artifact itself. The young girl was very partial when it came to things that were passed unto her by her late mother. "Have some water," she pressed a bottle to Sakura's mouth with strained grace.

But Hanabi's uncharacteristic conduct had stopped there. The young girl had squirmed a great deal when Tsunade handed her the second twin in order to cut the umbilical cord. She threw Hinata a panicked look as the both babies' cries reached an ear-splitting range. The one in her hand thrashed and kicked and waved its little arms furiously. She was beyond relieved when the nurse came to her rescue.

"He has already gotten nii-san's temper," Hanabi commented while Hinata came for a close-up of a thoroughly exhausted Sakura. "Father told you to put that thing away," she scolded her older sister.

"He?" the rise and fall of Sakura's chest slowed. Those blasted tears burned her eyes again and she blinked frantically to clear them away. She wasn't going to cry, not in front of all these people.

"Yes Sakura, twin boys," Tsunade beamed at her from above the rim of her notepad.

Fuck pride, the tears that had been threatening like black clouds on a summer day came in a sobbing rush that frightened her with its intensity. She would have been able to better appreciate the moment if she wasn't presently under the careful scrutiny of Hyuuga Hiashi.

She wondered what he was still doing here, or why he hadn't thrown the fit she knew he wanted to. He was studying her, a little too closely for comfort. It was like he could see through her defense; see the scandalous bride that she was.

"Sakura," Neji said her name. Was this giddy, soaring feeling inside her really because she was so weak from delivery or because the look Neji gave her had butterflies doing somersaults in her stomach? Instead of filling her with desire, _**that look **_filled her with a complex mix of emotions so fierce that they clogged in her throat with tears. But the tears were mostly for Neji who she knew would never share the same unique feeling that came along with knowing they created life together.

They were his heirs, weapons that would be sharpened, polished and shined in preparation for the war ahead.

The huge tremor of emotion that seized her shook her whole body, overwhelming her with a flood of love and pain in equal proportions.

"Sakura…" he said her name again, or perhaps his voice was merely echoing in her mind. His hand covered hers. She could barely keep the smile back from her lips either when he smiled at her, a big, all-encompassing smile. Though what accompanied his gesture had her feeling like a knife had twisted in her heart. He patted her on hand and told her she did a great job today.

Sakura had to blink fast to disperse her threatening tears. Neji obviously had no idea just how hurtful his casual words were. She hadn't expected an automatic _I love you _but she hadn't expected _that_ either. She would have satisfied with a slap to the face, because she had suffered too many blows to her heart.

"Follow me sir," the nurse said to Neji.

Not particularly thrilled at the sight of blood neither Hyuuga girls trailed behind Neji nor the nurse who went to get the babies cleaned up.

His departure granted Sakura a well deserved breath. She told him today that he made it hard to be herself and that was the truth. But she had grown to find comfort in the midst of the discomfort. He made her insecure and uncertain of herself especially when it came to him. In learning to love him, she had come to dislike herself, and she realized now, that their relationship would go absolutely nowhere.

"You did a great job," Hinata said repeating Neji's word. Sakura felt like ripping out her hair.

For a second nothing happened. Hiashi was still looking at her aghast. And then it came, his voice so sardonic that Sakura winced. Conversely, at the same time, an awful silence seemed to descend.

"What was that Hanabi?" he asked after the doctors had finished tending to Sakura and had left them alone.

"What was what father?"

"That remark you made earlier," he said casually, "About Sakura's son having Neji's temper…"

"Hai," Hanabi said shakily. Her father's terse words, along with his grim expression, were increasing her fear.

"I'm sure you heard wrong Hiashi-sama," Sakura spat quickly, but beneath that sharpness Hiashi caught the quiver of uncertainty in her voice, and his anger softened into something that caught at his throat.

"I'm pretty sure that I hadn't," he said flatly. "Just the same as I hadn't mistaken the sudden appearance of a wedding band on your finger."

Stillness surrounded them, thick and heavy, the muted sounds of a baby's shrieks coming from behind the closed bathroom door.

"Sometimes you've got to play the fool to catch the wise," he said, shaking his head, sparing a quick glance over his shoulders then looked back at the trio with wide, interested eyes. "Am I to assume that you'll return the ring or shall I do the honours?"

That thread of worry thickened and became a ribbon that kept unwinding, spreading a dark chill through her bloodstream that nearly had Sakura shivering as she asked, "So you knew all along?"

"Don't be foolish girl. If I had, then this charade wouldn't have been going on for this long." He waved one hand as if brushing aside something that didn't really matter. "Coming to think of it, I'm mighty pleased that I hadn't figured it out until now. I would have cancelled the nuptials and his sons would have been born out of wedlock. How very fortunate on their part."

"It was never my intention—"

"—I knew Neji meant well when he proposed marriage but let's face it, he's a man of stature and significance, a woman like you would only make him lose sight of what he really wants," he said, interrupting her before she could really get going. "If you truly do love my nephew, and don't deny that you do, you'll let him be."

"Father!"

"Hush up Hanabi!" he grimaced. "Neji's a bit misguided; a shove in the right direction is all he needs. By attempting to do right by you," he pointed at Sakura. "He's doing wrong by himself, by his family, by the legacy that his father left him to lead."

With the sting of unshed tears filling her eyes, she remained quiet least her voice failed her.

"I'm not about to rile at you given the state that you are in. After all Neji is partly to blame, besides what is done is already done. There's no sense is quarrelling over spilled milk."

A sob broke.

"I'm aware of the contract," Sakura's eyes widen at this. "Consider it voided for violating rule 563 of the Hyuuga code. _No member of the Hyuuga House may be joined in marriage without consent of the ruler. Any such union concluded results in exclusion and deprivation of honors and privileges_. Hence all marital affinity between yourself and my nephew has been disestablished. Neji is hereby forbidden from seeing you again," he said it as though it brought him great joy to witness her misery.

By this point Sakura had gone numb and dumbfounded. Deprivation of honours and privileges?

"What about their children?" Hinata asked in an outrage that stunned the girl herself.

"They can only be deemed as Hyuugas given that they pass a DNA test..." His voice went on doubtfully then he said, "Since the elders haven't officially declared their marriage fraudulent, I suppose his son is still likely a legitimate heir," Brusque and to the point as always, that was Hiashi. He spared no thought for imagination nor waited for reactions.

"Sons," Hanabi corrected him.

"First borns are always given preference, twins are no exception. Sakura is after all, not a legal Hyuuga, so the family will only be responsible for the child with whom the future of our clan will reside."

"You can't bastardize one child and then protect the other with privilege. It's not fair. They're twins."

"No pair of twin is born equal, Hanabi. At least our family is perceptive enough to acknowledge that."

**A/N: Thanks for reading some feedback would be greatly appreciated. ****Reviews are the only things that I look forward to, besides emails from my amazing penpal ^-^**


	17. Chapter 17

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**A/N: I would have updated weeks ago guys, but I had been in the hospital for quite a while. I've been having severe headaches for the last month and had been admitted in the hospital for ongoing investigation after the left side of my body collapsed. Here's the really weird part, the doctors are saying that there's a 50/50 chance I had a stroke. I'm completely freaking out because I'm only a teenager o.O but I'm out now, and thankfully back to normal. **

**I'm not particularly pleased at the turn out of this chapter but I just had to post something… So here goes…**

"No pair of twin is born equal. At least our family is perceptive enough to acknowledge that."

They all stared at Hiashi in shock. His ugly proclamation hung between them. Sakura had a feeling of being a distance away and seeing the man as if for what he truly was for the first time. A callous brute.

"What?" She could feel his words exploding inside her skull, as she battled with her own disbelief.

"Well…" his voice dragged on. "Given the stir that my late brother and I had caused, the elders have opted to only acknowledging first born twins as being heir-worthy." he told her casually. "It's a step in the right direction I'd like to think. One can only imagine the amount of chaos that'll surface within the clan when the issue of leadership is rose."

Sakura blew out an exasperated sigh. Yes, it was already established that her marriage to Neji was solely for the purpose of securing her sons' inheritance. But they weren't even an hour old yet for Hiashi to be making such a rash declaration. And there was absolutely no moral in deeming one child illegitimate and the other royalty simply because he was born first, or because the family only needed one leader. Wouldn't the more cultured thing to do was to give both boys the opportunity to prove which was more capable of leading the household?

She gave a small shrug having come to the conclusion that, "The Hyuuga bastard child is not a title I want for my son. The truth is I don't want a title for either of them. I can't have one of them being shunned while the other is spoilt by family heritage. They are my children and they were born as equals."

"The fact still remains that _**if**_ they are Hyuugas, the family is liable to—"

"If they are Hyuugas?" she arched a brow, anger in her heart pressing down on her like an unwanted heavy weight. She did not need this right now.

"—take the heir into its care."

"Over my dead body!" Anger flashed in Sakura's eyes when his words finally sunk in. "I will not have my son living the kind of controlled and confined life that Neji has to live. I want for them both the kind of personal freedom that he doesn't have and won't be able to give any child of his."

When Hiashi spoke, his voice was harsh with impatience and anger, "You always find a way to bring my nephew into this," he growled. "He's already walking on chalk line with the elders. I'm afraid that he's in no position to object," Hiashi continued, quite content at Sakura's disquiet.

"Object to what?"

"The first son will reside in the Hyuuga Household under the title of his father's heir. Neji has a position to maintain and his son will be taught how to come to terms with his role and significance," despite herself Sakura felt chilled by the seriousness of the man's expression. He made everything sound final.

"These are my children Hiashi, no amount of your power and influence can change that," she said through gritted teeth, determined to stay defiant.

"They are my nephew's sons," he corrected rather than added.

She knew what he implying, that given Neji's plight, the young man was rendered a puppet, bound to the strings controlled by his uncle. If Neji didn't comply, his position would be compromised, depriving him of his privileges and honours. She didn't want that for him, and though he'd not likely admit it, he wouldn't want that for himself either.

It suddenly seemed like they were back to square one again. Except that this time she wasn't going up against Neji Hyuuga—the man who chose to take her children because he thought he was doing what was best; she would be going up against Neji Hyuuga—her husband, the man who had no other choice…

"I will not hear of it. My son deserves to grow up in a home filled with love. That is wherever I am—wherever his brother is. I don't want his future to be corrupted by wealth and position. I don't want his brother feeling inferior to him just because he was born a few minutes afterwards. Most importantly, I can't have him carrying the burdens I see Neji carrying. I may not be able to give him the things that Neji had as a child, but I am able to give them both the rights to define their own life. And to me that is far more valuable that anything you claim he will inherit."

Hiashi was silent and Sakura knew he was waiting, just as she was waiting for the applause that ironically followed his scoff. "Are you finished yet?"

She bit her lips to stop herself from uttering the string of profanities begging to be vocalized.

"That little speech means nothing if you'll only swallow your words." There was just enough light for her to see the gleam in his eyes. "If not for a future for your son, you'll do it because of your love for my nephew."

A small, sad shadow darkened her eye, "If you thought that what I feel for Neji could ever in this lifetime amount to the love I have for my sons, then you've been mistaken."

"I have?" sarcasm didn't suit him well. "Then by all means, we'll take this to the court. But remember, by the laws of our clan Neji's to be stripped of his title given his illicit marriage to you. The judge will not overlook such a thing."

He was playing his cards so well, weighing the love she held for his nephew against that which she had for her sons. If she didn't hand over her child to be imprisoned by some apparent birthright then Neji would have his title renounced. It wasn't exactly blackmail per se but she now understood where her husband got his negotiating skills from. After all he was the one who taught her that it's only fair play if one party left slightly more disappointed than the other.

Like a tiny candle flame shivering vulnerably in the dark, she quivered fearfully. And then the look in Hiashi's eyes extinguished it as cruelly as a hand callously over the face of a dying person to stem their breath.

"If only you could see that ridiculous expression on your face," Hiashi chuckled coldly. The smile on his mouth was slow and scornful and in the depths of those fathomless eyes was a wicked triumph.

Sakura knuckled her forehead and closed her eyes, fighting a sudden, overwhelming wave of weariness. She didn't have the strength or patience to deal rationally with this man.

"When children fall out of line, they ought to be punished. But if you thought that I would allow Neji to suffer such ghastly ruination then you've also been mistaken. Having to wed the likes of you is punishment enough for him in my book. Too much sweat and blood have been invested in rearing him into the man that he is today for a mere snag to jeopardize everything."

"So I'm a snag am I?" she asked him brokenly.

"A complication," he told her. "Neji's thoroughly convinced otherwise, but I know better than to think your first encounter wasn't premeditated."

With her not being a member of any notably affluent family, she could understand why both Hanabi and Hiashi would insinuate that she might have targeted Neji because of his wealth. They must not have come across many persons who could see beyond their good looks, social status and riches for they failed to acknowledge Sakura's loathing for such things.

"I was drunk," she said in her own defense. "My only premeditated thoughts were that of fetching another bottle of beer. I had no knowledge of who he was."

If there was anything she hated about Neji besides his arrogance, that'd be his social status and his money. She found them to be least appealing because they made him into the cold and brooding man that he was. But she knew that there had to be a way over or through that wall he built around himself. And when she did find that faulty region in his carefully constructed layer of resistance, she planned to plant a large enough hole in it for herself to slip through.

Almost Hiashi smiled. There was the tiniest quirk of his mouth, quickly suppressed, "I'd say the same thing, if I were in your shoes."

"If my memory serves right Neji was as sober as I had been drunk." She pointed out, "We're both consenting adults yet you make me out to be some pedophile who de-flowered your innocent little heir. It's time you realize that Neji is not a boy anymore. He's a man," she said it so smugly, it seemed like a gloat.

"Don't you dare speak to me in that tone girl!" He stood tall before her seething with anger.

"Haven't you ever wondered why your nephew fell into bed with me so easily, rather than one of the women he was forced into courting—?"

Hiashi's response was suitably appalled, "You were nothing more than a lousy lay."

Hinata's face morphed through a million shades of red at the turn their argument seemed to be taking. Hanabi proposed that she went to offer Neji some assistance then bolted, obviously not comfortable with the path the conversation was threading along.

"—It's because I was a decision that he could have made on his own," she was suddenly serious. "A lousy lay you say?"

Hiashi's icy scorn flayed her like a whip. "It would appear that baring children of such distinguished legacy have led you to believe that you suddenly are woman enough for Neji."

"I'd like to think that if I was woman enough to have shared his bed then, what's to stop me from doing so now?" She brought her ponytail loose with one rake of her fingers.

"Once my nephew learns that his son will not be exempted from the family and that his marriage to you is no longer necessary, you Miss Haruno will be nothing but history."

She shifted uncomfortably against the softness of the hospital bed. "Except that Neji wouldn't have one of his son's out of his care."

"That's just something he'll have to live with." His eyes glittered with an ice-cold expression that chilled Sakura to the bone. What he said next not only shattered her heart, it scarred her soul. "Maybe if he hadn't intervened just now, neither of you would have been burdened by the existence of a second child."

For several stunned seconds she couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Could only stare at him in disbelief in silence. Blood pounded so hard in her ears she felt light‐headed with the force of it. Distress, fear and fury were a sour mix on her tongue.

"What justice is there for a young boy in watching his older brother thrive while he withers?" he asked seriously.

The wanted and the unwanted.

She sat further back on the bed and covered her body with the sheet, watching him. His words resounded in her head; it felt a little like dying inside. But this was crueler, harder, because she'd allowed herself to hope that Neji's uncle really wasn't as cold-hearted as he made himself out to be. But if he considered it unfortunate that one of her sons hadn't died during labour, Sakura wasn't led to feel anything but complete loathing towards him.

As if struck by a second thought Sakura tried to get to her feet, but was stopped by Hinata. "Father how could you say such a thing?"

His voice sliced the air like a cold steel blade, raising the hairs on the back of her neck. "What good would a bastard child have on our family's reputation?"

"But they were both born in wedlock," Hinata turned her head to protest but shivered at the deadly intent she read in her father's taut features.

"Haven't you been listening to a single word I've said?" he scolded. "Because Sakura is not rightfully a Hyuuga and only first born sons are acknowledged the second child cannot be granted the Hyuuga prerogative. He is to be acknowledged as his mother's child—a Haruno."

"Surely there must be something you—"

"The situation cannot be helped. The younger of the two will remain in his mother's custody," he looked at Sakura as though it were some sort of consolation. "And the eldest will return home with his father," Hiashi paused. "It is the laws of our clan, though I simply find the thought of her raising a child comical and very distasteful."

Hinata whimpered.

"Sakura is very lucky to have had boys. Girls cannot pass on the Hyuuga name so there would be no need for the family to take claim of illegitimate children. Hence the kind of marriage that she has with Neji would have led to instant bastardization."

"You have two daughters yourself," Sakura's breath expelled in a silent hiss.

"But unlike you, Hinata and Hanabi's mother wasn't married illegally to me."

Prejudice was the Hyuuga way of life, she had come to realize. And she understood now that legitimacy was dependent on the parent's marital status. Though she and Neji were married, their union hadn't been approved by the family head, this accounted for her sons' plight. Under normal circumstances one of them would be heir-worthy and the other probably second in command. They would be of equal esteem up until the time of ruling and would've both led a very privileged life. But given her illegal wed to their father only one of her child could ever know such luxuries.

Perhaps she would have considered herself lucky if she had girls. Because then Hyuuga Hiashi would have thought twice about establishing some sort of affinity—enmity—between himself and the mother of Neji's children. Her main concern at this point was whether Neji would yield to his uncle's demand or resist and keep the promise he made to her. She figured that it would be the former of the two. Bile rose in her throat as she realized that some forlorn part of her had wanted just that. She didn't want his position jeopardize because of her, but she didn't want to lose one of her boys either.

"I had always known that something was amidst between the two of them." Hiashi was saying to Hinata now, "The first night when I had stopped by her apartment I was completely taken aback by the way she held my gaze, and with a hint of familiarity as well. But then her eyes wondered over my features and I saw the disappointment…as though she had hoped I was someone else."

Sakura remembered that day all too well, it was like reopening an old wound. He had belittled her profession and demanded that she did the same as a means of scaring his young aspiring daughter. She didn't understand why he himself had begun to work at the hospital but then Neji had explained to her that Hiashi intended a takeover, so in order to convince the government that he was truly in it for the welfare of the people he started offering his expertise there. At the time she couldn't see how that would've worked out considering that he practically called her a servant and chastised her_ impoverish_ lifestyle.

"And then you saw Neji," he sounded bitter. "The odd expression returned to your face." Hiashi addressed Sakura now, "You reached out for him. He caught you just in time, you passed out mumbling something along the line of…" he paused as though trying to recall exactly what she had said, "It's really you…"

She blushed guiltily.

"After that night his interest in his family duties began to diminish and his nightly excursions became frequent. Some nights, he wouldn't return. I had assumed that he was staying with Temari only to have her show up in the mornings without Neji present."

Sakura's face registered an expression of scowling indifference as she folded her arms. "If you knew all along, why not confront us about it?"

"Who prosecutes a culprit without solid evidence?" Hiashi's eyebrows shot up.

She heard Hinata sigh beside her.

"Once Neji accepted that you were carrying his child, I expected him to make amends with you and try to make right your misfortunes. But being the stubborn and proud lad that he is, I suspect that he was hesitant and resentful about proposing marriage for the sake of uplifting the Hyuuga name. I purposely announced that he was to be wedded to Temari No Sabaku earlier than intended, so as to give him the scare that he needed."

She tried to understand but she couldn't fathom what he was getting at.

He continued, "Sure that complicated things a bit but at least it forced him to deal with the situation with the urgency it needed to be dealt with."

Her green eyes looked cloudy. Confused.

"Who do you think pointed out the loophole in our family laws to Neji?" He seemed almost proud of himself. "He was too restless, too inquisitive and too interested in the matter for me to past it off as a momentary loss of his cool. It was all the confirmation that I needed, that he was indeed trying to find a way out of marriage with Temari and into one with you. Why? Because you were carrying his child."

"I don't understand," Hinata said. "You said that you were glad you hadn't found out until now but—"

"—but in fact he had be pawning us all along," Sakura snapped having put two and two together. "What I don't get is why you'd lead Neji into marrying me if you loathe me so much."

"It was never about you Sakura. It has always been about Neji's sons—legitimatizing his heir."

"But father, why not retract the proposal to wed Lady Sabaku?" Hinata asked toying with her fingers.

The elder looked thoroughly appalled at such a thought, "There was never a need to. Surely you don't expect me to have Neji tied to the likes of this woman any longer than necessary," he grimaced at Sakura. "Temari was amongst the first to become aware of my intentions. She was already on board with my plans, especially after Sakura came to her requesting her legal services. And since she couldn't have a child of her—"

"Then how is she pregnant?" Sakura lashed out.

Hiashi's laughter filled the room, "I assume you bought that?"

Sakura reared back, staring aghast into his grim face, hearing his hollow tone. "What do you mean?"

"Temari was never pregnant."

It didn't make any more sense than it did back then. A searing blast of confused feeling struck her, roiling in her gut, rising in her throat. "But Dr. Takumi said—"

After a moment his lips moved again, this time in a twitch that might have signified amusement. "I'm always one step ahead of the game Sakura."

Shock hummed through her. Was he being serious? Had Takumi been cued in long before Neji made the appointment to see her? Did Temari know all along that it had been Neji who fathered her child? Was her life really one big sick game played by Hiashi and his subordinates?

"I don't see the sense in having Temari fake a pregnancy," she admitted. She could easily comprehend Takumi's role in the charade—reporting all the medical details of Sakura's appointment to Hiashi. But she just didn't get how Temari's pregnancy fitted into anything.

"It was all about lending the extra push."

Sakura's pink brow arched. "You were purposely leading us to think that we had her out of the way since she was carrying the child of another man?"

There it was again, that ghost of a smile. It was sickening.

"I'm confused," Hinata cried. "After confirming that Sakura was carrying Nii-san's child why not approve a marriage between the two?"

"Our family has standards to uphold girl. Neji is the most eligible bachelor in town, having him wed a bimbo would make it appear as though we've lowered them."

His words lashed her, his hatred stinging like the blast of a sandstorm on bare skin. "This bimbo birthed his children," Sakura wouldn't be insulted but it undermined her confidence and depressed her terribly.

"The DNA results will give us confirmation of that," He peered down into her face. "We can never be too sure. Who knows how many other men you have gotten drunk with and taken to bed," his words were harsh, but not nearly as forbidding as the look in his opal eyes.

She flew up from beneath the covers and unto her feet in fury. Despite Hinata's pleas and her aching torso she marched right over to where the towering, lordly Hyuuga Hiashi stood looking as stoic as ever. He caught her arm as it arched up with the obvious intention of slapping his face.

His eyes briefly skimmed her hospital gown with such a disdainful expression that Sakura itched to slap him. "Have I struck a nerve that you'd want to hit me?"

He was the most arrogant, prejudice, despicable, sadistic, thoughtless, impudent…Sakura ran out of adjectives and glared at him with such heated fury that he should have fried on the spot. "I've been called many things, but a slut…?"

How Neji and Hinata had survived this man as a child, she had no idea. Hanabi and her father were very much alike so it would be no surprise if she got along better with him than the other two. But it was evident that the old man held a higher level for respect for his nephew because he was the only male and suiting heir of their pack. The more she got to know Hiashi, the more she appreciated her asshole of a husband. Because really, comparing Neji to Hiashi was like comparing a rectangle to a square.

Sure they were both quadrilaterals but one had more lines of symmetry than the other. In other words, one of them was actually capable of seeing things from more than one perspective. Even if he thought it was beneath him to temporary remove his head from up his ass and be human. There was more to Neji than met the eyes. Hiashi however was sadly just as overpowering and ruthless as the aura he emitted.

"You know what they say, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck. It probably is a—"

Sakura had slapped him soundly. The solid blow with her fist that struck the side of his head had staggered him with dizziness. She felt a surge of satisfaction, even though her knuckles throbbed where they scraped against his teeth. It would appear that the blood that smeared his lips where not only his, but also hers that had trickled from the vein in her wrist where her IV had nestled.

"You dare to raise your hand at me child!"

Hinata gasped and reached for Sakura but Hiashi caught her first. He grabbed her arms and gave her a rough shaking. He was furious, a dark rage contorting his aristocratic features, turning them ugly. The image of his monstrous hands snaking around her slender neck came easily. She felt a sickening twist of fear which red-hot anger soon strangled. She struggled against his hold kicking with all the strength her sagging limbs could muster.

"Uncle!"

"Father!"

She was probably a hair's breadth away from being thrown across the room when Hanabi and Neji returned.

"She provoked me!" He growled abrasively while releasing her. She fell with a mild thud then he stood back and those eyes she had thought so beautifully lilac seemed filled with menace now as they locked with hers. Slowly he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Provoked you?" Neji's eyes lifted slowly, finally fixing on his uncle's angry features. His face was red. There was an ugly slant to his mouth. He was not so handsome in his anger. Neji's own look dismissed him, as if he were no more worthy of his attention than a rangy dog.

The room fell silence—the calm before the storm. Sakura knew Neji all too well to not cower in fear that he might do or say something that'd end in his detriment. Whenever he got angry, he'd shout, he'd bluster even knock heads together. But when he was furious, he got deadly calm. And only Kami could help the unfortunate soul that shattered that calm.

"What is going on?" Neji helped her to her feet, his face set in hard angry lines. "Why are you not in bed as the doctors instructed?"

"Your uncle…" she panted, the exhaustion that came with delivery finally catching up with her. She closed her eyes briefly feeling faint. Her legs wobbled. "He set me up. He set us up."

"Hanabi get a nurse," Neji lifted his petite wife and settled her back on the bed. "Sakura what are you talking about?" he felt her forehead with the back of his hands.

She opened her eyes and inhaled deeply. "He knew all along that I was pregnant with your child. He cued in Temari as well and ever since they've been plotting my destruction."

"Plotting your destruction?"

Sakura was confused at the sudden cool mockery in Neji's voice. Where had that come from?

But to be frank, who wouldn't think her to be delirious. Her words were slurring, her body was trembling and her eyes were drooping. The woman did take enough shots to supply an entire armory. It's a wonder how she had been able to be on her feet.

She gazed up at him, his lavender eyes reflecting a worrying combination of anger and fear. And then it occurred to her that Neji wasn't aware that Hiashi knew he fathered her sons. He was probably even more on the edge than she was. From what she had seen over the course of time they had been together—correction—spent together, Neji was an even better masker than he was an asshole. And that was merely putting it lightly. But it was a tad bit discerning that he was taking so calmly to their situation.

The hunt was on, given Hiashi's bitter demeanor. She supposed the kill would soon be instigated, but Neji hadn't a clue of his apparent death wish though Hiashi's bloodlust was blatantly obvious.

Neji took a deep breath and let his shoulders sag, his relief that Sakura was fine for the most part was quickly followed by raw anger. This he directed to the most deserving target. "What is she talking about?"

"How would I know?" Hiashi asked bluntly.

"Temari knew that I was pregnant all along. Hiashi told her."

"Well of course he did, you passed out once and he tended to you," he answered, his gaze not wavering from where his uncle stood. His heart jumped when he felt her cold hands grasping his own tightly. He was forced to look down at her face, her eyes troubled him.

"No. I mean that they knew you were the father long before we told anyone. Temari's pregnancy was a conspiracy; Takumi was in on it too. Hiashi led you into marrying me without you actually realizing it."

His laugh was utterly humorless, "Why would he do that Sakura?" He might as well have added, "Hiashi hates you…" because the expression on his face clearly told her that there was a not-a-chance-in-hell possibility that Hiashi would have selected someone from such unbecoming upbringings to rule alongside his prized nephew.

"Tell him," she shouted at Hiashi, tears brimming her eyes. "Tell him how you staged everything. Tell him how you tricked him into writing that contract. Tell him how it pained you that one of my sons hadn't died," by this point she was screaming, rage billowing inside her as she shook with repressed anger and hatred.

"What I will tell him is that you have excess stimulants in your system." Hiashi's eyes narrowed at her then he spoke to his nephew in an exasperated tone as though to give the impression that Sakura had been saying things to upset him since the very beginning. "It'd be in her best interest to sleep it off. I can assure you that not everyone will take a slap to the face and let it pass."

"She slapped you?" Neji exclaimed in confused disbelief.

"Yes, after I dismissed a rather preposterous claim she made."

"Claim?"

"Yes, she claimed that you fathered her sons," Hiashi waved it off, and turned to Hinata with a smirk on his lips as he watched Neji's reaction from the corner of his eyes. "The poor girl doesn't know what she's saying," he drawled rubbing at his jaw. "But she sure does know how to pack a mean punch. Wouldn't you agree Hinata?"

The said girl grounded her toes into the carpeted floor, twirling them around and around. Her fingers weren't toying nervously with each other as they usually would. Nope, they were peeling off the flesh of each other. Neji looked at her and she fixated her gaze on the floor beneath her feet.

"Nii-san…"

He hadn't doubted the veracity of Sakura's allegations against his uncle for a second. He had only needed confirmation that it hadn't been the drugs talking, and Hinata had just given him that. But having his initial belief corroborated hadn't granted him any calm, in fact it was quite the opposite. He felt his panic, his fear subside into revulsion, into dread.

Hiashi-sama knew.

He knew.

He knew.

Sakura still had her hand clasping around his arm. He was faintly aware that she was calling his name or even tugging at the arm she held. He wasn't one for theatrics but his entire empire seemed to be colliding, brick by brick. But even more torturous was having the end approach in such a prolonged manner. It was like waiting for a time bomb to explode. And that statement was made light of considering the topic of the conversation was Hyuuga Hiashi.

Neji's disheveled mind could only fret about losing the respect of his clan and of his uncle the same as how he lost it for himself. He felt like a lone cherry blossom _branch _now confided to the ground after being cut down. Compelled by the wind he'll be forced to across and away from the grassy plains while losing every last bit of barren leaves he had been grown to cherish.

Lone _branch _in that, he never felt as though he belonged amongst them—the grassy plain—that soft nourishing barrier intent on breaking the fall that gravity had destined for him since the time of his birth. But they took him in, raised him in the luxuries of a prince and treated him as such. Just as how the earth could nuture a mere seed into a beautiful sakura plant. Never once had they seen him in the light that he saw himself. And yet he couldn't love them, but as much as he hated to admit it, they were family and that made them everything. One night, one girl, one mistake shouldn't equate to losing that. But it did, a little voice told him as equally candid as Neji's resentment.

Those dries leaves, symbolic to all things he had worked hard to achieve, now insignificant. His past honours and glories shall be nothing but haunting memories of the pride he can no longer call his own. But what had he to show for such an enormous sacrifice? A woman who has foolishly convinced herself that she was actually in love with him and two boys, who, for the next couple of years will have no idea they resulted in their father's downfall.

He stopped himself realizing that he was pointing fingers. That was not the Hyuuga way of passing judgment, though it seemed entirely bias and unjust which was oddly enough, entirely Hyuuga.

"Miss Haruno is infatuated by you," Hiashi chuckled looking over his shoulders to note Neji's surprise, except his assertion was met with grave indifference. "Clearly spending as much time as you did together has led her to believe that there is more to your relationship than you let on."

Was there really more? Did he want more? Could there even be more? He wasn't damn sure. He had spent so many years eschewing love that when it found its way into his life he'd done everything in his powers to pretend it wasn't there…to pretend she wasn't there. For she was love, and he was not. She deserved something much more that the residue of the legacy of torment he led, but he didn't owe it to her to give her that. Not that he could, even if he wanted to. And this was why he had denied any deeper feeling and denied the surfacing of yearning, because he knew better.

Wasn't it ironic how different their pasts had been but how identical their futures would be? No family, no friends, just each other.

She had not withheld her true emotions from him, even out of fear of facing rejection. And how had he awarded such bravery? By expressing gratitude for her affections which could very much have been translated as a hearty pat on the back. In his defense, he handled it the only way he knew how, by being polite. He didn't like to lie, even if it was for a worthy cause.

"Father is this really necessary?" Hinata didn't know where she found the courage to lash out. But it went as soon as it came for she quietly apologized and exited the room, which then fell silent, as it so frequently did.

"Uncle I'm—" Neji began breaking the stifling silence.

"Appalled," Hiashi finished, turning to face them both. "As am I Neji, but can we really blame her? The woman's half way between worlds, she doesn't know what she's saying. I shouldn't have had them setup that epidural pump in the first place. She is after all allergic, now she's delirious."

That response truly shocked Neji, who made no attempt to hide this. He glanced at Sakura and his brain short-circuited. It took him a while to gather up his thoughts and say something. But Sakura's previous accusations kept reverberating in his mind.

"_Tell him how it pained you that one of my sons hadn't died."_

"You were aware that she was allergic to the drug and gave the go anyway?" he asked harshly, shoving Sakura's hand aside in his anger. "You do realize that she could have suffered fatalities."

It seemed that Hiashi was at the pinnacle of his frustration too and could no longer keep up his charade of being in the dark. "What's it to you?" he sneered cruelly.

"You could get sued for—"

"—and will you be the one to sue me Neji! Because I think I was doing you a bloody favour. One Hyuuga bastard is already enough, adding two more to a list that you already head is social suicide."

Sakura saw it coming before Neji himself decided that he would retaliate by joining his fist and swinging at his uncle. The blow slammed Hiashi unto the nurse's desk, scattering a few file folders and pens on the ground. Over the noise Hiashi's collision had made, Sakura could hear Hinata and Hanabi's shrieks and looked to see them rushing through the door. But they were joined by Tsunade and a long lost blonde friend of hers who she presumed had been the nurse Hanabi went to fetch—out of spite of course.

"Ino…" Sakura stared in disbelief.

Hanabi and Tsunade rushed to Hiashi's aid, but did not let go of him, though he was struggling and blustering. "After all that we have done for you, this is how you repay the Hyuuga name?"

"I have never disrespected you Hiashi-sama," Neji shook his head softly then added with conviction, "But if you dare try to harm Sakura or my sons I will open your cheekbone with my fist," he felt himself exploding in fury.

His own uncle, a man that he looked up to, worshipped as a boy…would stoop as low as to kill a child to salvage family pride. His own flesh and blood…And here he thought family bonds would be the only thing stopping his clan from passing the final judgment. He had hoped that while they wouldn't pardon his sin, that his sons would be not exempt from the family. But if the head of the household would condemn a newborn—his newborn—to death then they are better off living in exile.

Neji had never known himself to hope for anything because everything had always been defined and designed to suit his liking. The world was his ouster as was the future. But this time around there was uncertainty regarding that and he was forced to have faith in a source he had never had to call upon before, Hope. And she failed him…miserably.

Apparently family didn't count for much…or anything for that matter. As always the only person that he could depend on or trust was himself. Now he knew why he had never loved them, because there was never really love in the first place that needed to be reciprocated. He was his father's heir nothing more, which had only been a role that he needed to fulfill and a position that rendered fear and commanded respect. He was Neji Hyuuga, and they all treated him that way. The respect his family had for him was bred under an illusion and as such there is no sense in mourning something that was never really there.

"That woman has led you to lose sight of who you truly are," Hiashi snarled at Sakura, shrugging Tsunade and Hanabi off.

"Who I truly am?" Neji entertained the thought for a moment. "The first Hyuuga bastard child?"

"He didn't mean for it to come out that way Neji," Sakura said quickly, not too sure why she was defending Hiashi. But she had seen that look on Neji's face before, that night when he told her the tragic story of how he lost the mother he never got to know. He blamed his birth for her death, just as how he blamed himself for everything that they were going through now. It was a look of distraught, quite similar to the one she herself wore when the reality of Neji's apathy towards her love had finally hit home. Her heart ached for him and in an answering cry she tried to at least dispel his uncle's harsh words as reprisal.

"Then how the fuck did he intend for it to?" It was Ino who spoke this time, outrage pumping through her. "Are you defending this douche bag Sakura?"

"I know that this might sound completely farfetched but Hiashi loves Neji like a son. If he didn't he wouldn't have gone as far as to—"

"For crying out loud forehead, please shut the fuck up. Hand her a napkin Hinata, she still has some bullshit left on her lips," Ino snapped, all heads turned in her direction. "Hiashi doesn't give a crap about anything besides the family name."

"Neji is family," she felt her eyes going moist again. "And family comes first."

"Family comes first?" Ino threw back at her. "The same way your family put you first when you told them you were pregnant?" she shifted her weight to one leg and planted her hands on her hips.

"Ino…" Neji growled sensing a rise in Sakura's discomfort level.

Tears coursed down her cheeks, a luxury her pride would not usually tolerate. A portion of her grief was for herself alone. "I don't want my pregnancy to come between them they way it did with my family," she sobbed and sniffed and Neji panicked as always, because he hated when she cried.

"Sakura none of this is your fault," Neji tried to reassure her. Ino rolled her eyes.

"If I had just had that abortion several months ago, none of this would be happening," she wiped her eyes.

"Precisely…" Hiashi muttered to himself.

"I wouldn't have allowed it," Tsunade said sternly.

Ino glared at him. "Hiashi, the only reason why they're in this mess is because you're a pussy."

The elder shook his head solemnly, "I can see why it is your friend and not you whom my nephew chose to take down the aisle."

"Her vocabulary is just as foul, she's only putting up a good front for Neji's sake," then Ino paused having realized that she ignored a few key words in Hiashi's last sentence. Take. Down. Aisle? "What did you say?"

Hiashi's eyes went widen with cruel mischief and triumph. "She didn't tell you?" his voice laced with sarcasm. "They are married."

"Married?" Ino bit her tongue. "Wow, I most certainly did not see that one coming," she wisped her hand through her hair in obvious but mild frustration. "You didn't tell me about our mutual companion, you didn't tell me about the twins, you didn't tell me about the wedding…" she looked to catch Neji's reaction. "Is there anything that you are not hiding from me?"

"What was I supposed to do, you weren't speaking to me!"

"Ladies please," Tsunade silenced them. "Give it a rest. This is not about either of you."

"It's about me because they are my sons," Sakura suddenly got serious. She was maternal and panicking, the emerald of her eyes dark and telling. "Neji where are my babies?"

"DNA took them for testing," Hiashi answered. "In the next hour we'll have the results."

"I didn't agree to that," Sakura shook her head and bit the interior of her jaw. She felt the weight of Neji's palm on her shoulders and knew that he had agreed just to get his uncle out of their hair. She made no further arguments because a part of her wanted to see the look on Hiashi's face when he read the results.

"Do you think that Sakura would have really gone through all this trouble if she was pregnant with another man's child," Tsunade tried to talk sense into the man.

"She said it herself, she was drunk," Hiashi reminded them all.

"But I was not," Neji said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"And you should have known better," his uncle scolded. "But there could have been others before you."

"She was a virgin."

A bit thrown off or perhaps offended by Neji's bold response, Hiashi had to take a moment. Hanabi and Hinata bit their lips and went flustered while Tsunade scowled at Hiashi's lewd insinuation.

"Even so, there might have been others after," the old man said tightly.

"What do you take her for, a whore?" Ino asked loudly, beating Sakura to it. "The woman who you should be keeping under careful scrutiny is the very woman you've tied your nephew to." Seeing the look that morphed unto Hiashi's face, Ino continued. "Yes, Neji's fiancée is walking around with some other guy's kid embedded in her uterus. She's probably at a drugs store finding something to flush that little fucker out with as we speak. It is after all not the first time she has had to—"

"—Temari isn't pregnant Ino," Sakura grumbled. "She was never pregnant."

Fair brows furrowed in bafflement. "But I saw her with the pregnancy test and it read positive."

"Hiashi wanted us to think that Temari was pregnant. It was incentive for Neji and I to get married"

Her furrow deepened, "No offence kiddo but if the man thinks you're a whore, I don't see why he'd want his heir to marry you?"

Hiashi sighed out of exasperation, "Great minds think alone. And it's clear that's not the case with either of you because Sakura asked the same absurd question." Then he began to speak slowly as though reciting the alphabet to three year olds. "It was the only way to secure the future heir's position in the family. Legitimacy is dependent on the marital status of the parent."

"Since when? I was born out of wedlock and I'm still a Hyuuga," Neji found this a bit suspicious and supercilious.

"Things and time have changed since then. Our clan has to be strict about certain policies. We can't have any old riffraff tainting our family name."

"It's awfully mature of you to want to cement Neji's sons' role in the family, even though their mother hasn't the credentials to match the norms of your household wives," Tsunade commented cautiously. But in an obvious attempt to nurse Hiashi's ego she had affronted Sakura.

"It's only natural," Hiashi brushed her off. "My daughter's children will not carry the Hyuuga name and only immediate family members can rule, hence Neji's significance stretches to any offsprings of his."

"If they are so important why is it that you conveniently forget to mention Sakura's negative reaction to a certain drug?" Neji's fist clenched at his sides. Everyone in the room gasped, safe for Sakura who was already aware of the Hiashi's failed killing spree.

"Father?" Hanabi's eyes grew not out of shock but disappointment.

"Hiashi?" Tsunade was disgusted. "I thought there was something rather odd about Sakura's complication. I'd never in a million years guess that it led back to you."

"Sakura's marriage to Neji is an abomination to the Hyuuga dynasty," Hiashi's voice rose a little too high for comfort. But the man felt as if every cell in his body was in a strangle-hold. His blood was racing. "The family will only accept the first born of the two, given the latest law changes. The second son will not be recognized as a Hyuuga and is to take the surname of his mother."

The room grew quiet.

Hiashi gave them all time for everything to sink in before he continued. "I'll have the marriage annulled as soon as all the paper work for the children has been completed. With that being done, Neji is to return to post with his son, marry the Sabaku heiress and Sakura is to remain as a ghost from the past. Any leakage of our arrangement to the press may result in serious consequences."

Neji scoffed, "This is outrageous!"

"This is mercy!" Hiashi objected. "You violated a very serious law. I don't think you realize the consequences for your action. You should have been stripped of everything but instead I begged the elders pardon," He straightened himself after realizing he was getting a bit too sentimental. "Now, you will do as you're told or truly lose your status."

Tsunade stopped him right there, "This isn't your call, Hiashi—"

"—Lady Tsunade do you love your job?"

Offended Tsunade answered tartly, "There are other jobs."

Hiashi's cold gaze felt upon her, bringing with it a menacing chill, then his lips twitched. "Good, because you're fired."

Ino looked stunned, her mouth dropping open, her big, cerulean eyes going even wider than usual. She shook her head fiercely but said nothing. Instead she chewed at her bottom lip, folded her arms over her chest as if she were trying to hold herself together.

"I cannot accept the mercy of the elders' at the expense of losing a son," Neji told Hiashi and for the few empty seconds that's hung before the remainder of his statement Sakura felt a swell of pride rise up in her. Neji was not considering his uncle's proposal for all the right reasons…or so she thought until he added, "That would result in a breach in my contract with Sakura, which ultimately remove the children from my custody."

"The contract has been declared voided."

"By whom?"

"Myself and the Hyuuga handbook," he patted his pants pocket. "A contract of such nature as yours would have to be approved by me, and it wasn't."

Sakura slapped one hand over her mouth in disbelief. Hiashi had everything planned out, from the joining their hands in holy matrimony to disestablishing the said conjugal bond. The contract too, like many other variables had been manipulation tools. He had them thinking that they had the upper hand when the truth of the matter was that, they were never contenders to begin with, merely the pieces on the board.

"Then they aren't actually married?" Ino asked sounding a bit expectant.

"They have my approval in that regard but it extends no further. After one month I can have their marriage annulled. Sakura will be heavily compensated for this of course, not because of the terms in Neji's contract but because of the child."

"And what if Sakura and Neji don't want to have their sons living separate lives?"

Hiashi considered something for a moment, until his face grew stern and his everyone-is-beneath-me gaze graced each person in the room. "I'd hate to imagine that Neji would turn down such a generous offer after he broke an unpardonable law. But in that case, he'd have his title renounced. The marriage and the contract would then be legit because he wouldn't be a Hyuuga in needed of the head's approval anymore."

Sakura swallowed, the decision was as much hers as it was Neji's. But it was a losing battle either way. In Sakura gaining everything, Neji would lose everything. And in Neji gaining some things, Sakura would lose some as well. It all didn't seem fair.

"You make it sound as if Neji has a choice?" Sakura stated but it came out as a question.

"He doesn't," Hiashi said flatly reaching into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. "But you do…" his voice trailed off as he began to speak rapidly into the gadget. "Yes, two boys…" they heard him saying before he headed out the room and closed the door behind him.

"Nii-san?" Hanabi urged seeing that Neji had gone rigid and speechless.

Sakura risked a glance at him, and his snowy eyes connected with hers for a heart-stopping second. She longed to touch him. "Neji?"

Ino growled, "Your uncle is nothing short of a piece of work. Having a stick up your ass is hereditary I've realized."

"You aren't considering isolating the twins from each other, are you nii-san?" Hinata asked concerned.

"Neji has worked really hard to achieve all that he has, Hinata. Throwing it all away will not benefit anyone," Hanabi volunteered.

"I don't see why Sakura has to suffer the loss of a son!" Ino argued. "She went as far as to sign a contract to ensure that she didn't lose either or both of her boys. Now you're asking her to give up her child to save Neji's hide. This is a human being we're talking about, not some plea bargain."

"And I can sympathize with that, but like father said, she will be heavily compensated."

"Money doesn't solve everything," Ino threw up her hands. "Above all, I still don't see what Sakura has to gain from letting your family into her child's life. Heck, I don't see what the boy himself has to gain but grief."

"And what has Sakura have to offer the twins or nii-san?" Hanabi shot back, her features tightened.

"Let me get this straight, all of a sudden Sakura isn't good enough for or worthy of Neji?" Ino laughed drily even though her eyes flashed with banked emotion. She knew it was a thought that Sakura had, at some point, entertained. But the moment Sakura's eyes found hers, Ino felt like crumbling in tears.

Hanabi's face remained twisted into a cynical expression. "No one is."

"Yeah well, maybe it is Neji who isn't deserving of Sakura," the blonde concluded realizing that she was counted amongst the _**no ones**_ as well.

"Listen," Tsunade cleared her throat. "I know that you are both concerned but perhaps it's time we left them to talk things through," she suggested, then told them sternly. "Alone…" she stared accusingly at Ino and Hanabi who looked ready to continue their heated debate.

The party left in silent agreement after Sakura had been taken care of and had her IV drip replaced.

"I'll give your mother a phone call," Ino said before squeezing Sakura's hand and leaving.

A threatening silence engulfed the room making it feel a lot smaller than it actually was. As the stifling stillness pressed down on them, Sakura grew more giddy and light-head. She could feel Neji's anger radiating out despite the rigid way he held himself. She was unsure of what to say to him so she kept her mouth shut. There were a millions thoughts running a wild goose chase in her head but she couldn't single-handedly ponder on one at a time.

"You've already removed your ring," Neji noted from the post he took at the window.

A tinge of pink grazed across Sakura's pale cheeks, there was something so remorseful about the tone he spoke to her with.

"I had Hinata phoned your parents," he closed the curtains and retreated to his chair beside her bed. "Your father is held up in a meeting but your mother is on her way over here now."

Sakura's heart pattered, "You shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?"

She laid her hands on her stomach amazed that mere hours ago it hadn't been this reduced. "My mother and I haven't spoken since she kicked me out eight months ago."

Neji gave her a look of interest as he watched her lips quiver and she fought with the tears that threatened to fall. But it wasn't her tears that wrenched his heart so cruelly—it was the look of utter desolation on her face. The muscle of his heart clenched and his throat tightened painfully. He already hated his in-laws for making Sakura so miserable.

"If my own parents are willing to desert me whilst I'm vulnerable then I'm better off without them," she sucked in a startled breathed and look at Neji with wide shocked eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not like your parents," he took her hand in his, "For better or for worst…" he slowly slid the ring back on her finger.

Her heart started to thump in her chest and her mouth suddenly felt dry. She pressed her front teeth into her lower lip to stop her jaw trembling. She stared down at the expensive gem adorning her finger; it felt as though it belonged there. But she knew better than to believe that. "Neji?"

"I'm putting _us_ above all, because family comes first."

Sakura continued to stare at him in bewilderment. Tears blurred her vision, but Neji's expression seemed to reflect the agony she felt. "You don't owe me a damned thing."

"I owe it to my sons to not be the kind of father that would dispose of them to secure wealth."

Sakura's brain couldn't compute the significance of what he was saying, and certainly couldn't compute the tumult of emotions that threatened to swamp her when he called her _his_ family. She flung her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, emotion coursing through them both. "Thank you."

"No, Sakura. Thank you," he closed his arms around her, breathing in her scent and basking in the warmth of her body against his.

They stayed that way for a long while until Neji was under the impression that Sakura had fallen asleep atop his shoulders. It was not until they heard the side door open that they pulled apart, flushing. Two nurses dressed in pink made their way into the room carrying identical blue bundles in their arms.

Sakura squealed in excitement and wiped at her eyes. "I'm a mother," she said to herself in awe then smiled at Neji. "And you're a father. We're parents!" she announced. The nurses had to indicate to her that one of the boys was sleeping to stop her from clapping and screaming. In all her elation she neither growled nor glowered at the nurse ogling Neji.

"They have your eyes," one of them commented touching Neji's arm. "Light eyes and dark hair, such contrasting beauty," her gaze shifted from the baby's to Neji's profile.

"He's the youngest," the other nurse informed Sakura as she handed her the bundle.

She looked back down at the sleeping baby, his tiny mouth pursed in seeming concentration. "Oh Neji, he's beautiful," she said stroking the soft skin of his cheek. "He looks a lot like you."

"You think so?" he asked glancing down at the twin he held in his arms. Unlike his brother this little one was awake and staring intently up into the Neji's lavender orbs as though sizing up to his father. Well it was clear which one inherited the Hyuuga arrogance.

"They're golden," she placed her forefinger against the baby's hand and marveled at the reflex action that brought his tiny fingers around it.

"Hyuuga Kintaro?" his golden first son wriggled in his arm, a sign of approval, Neji convinced himself.

"I think he likes it," the nurse grinned stroking Taro's little fingers with her own.

Sakura's left temple pulsed. Her annoyance must have seeped through somehow because the baby's mouth suddenly pursed tighter and then he hiccupped, his body racked with the sudden onslaught. "I'm sorry little one," she murmured, moving him to rest against her shoulder. Her hand moved rhythmically against his back.

Neji smirked, watching—his mind filled with promised images of Sakura and their sons. The gentle expression on her face as she'd looked at the sleeping babies. The way she'd stroked the top of their heads and kiss their foreheads. It somehow seemed breathtakingly natural to have such an idyll burned in the back of his psyche.

Her heart ached at the tender, familiar way he looked at her. She could just kiss him, but knew she must keep her hands to her side, for both of their sakes. "I can't believe that mere hours ago, they were inside me," she kept her voice light, but it was an effort. Sakura rubbed her own cheek against the softness of her son's head. His body was warm against her chest and he smelt of baby and talcum powder. There was nothing more perfect than that of a clean newborn scent.

"Is he going to be alright?" Neji asked the nurses out of concern.

They blushed guiltily then looked at each other as though accusing the other of something. "We fear that he might have developed a respiratory disease," the one who had been excessively trying to catch Neji's eye spoke. "Asthma is a very common case; most children eventually grow out of it," she said more to Sakura's reassurance than Neji's.

"He's a healthy boy," the other nurse offered. "There is nothing to worry about; babies who are born with asthma have a greater chance of getting rid of it than a person who develops it over time."

"I think I'll call you Kenjiro," she said, loving the way his legs were still tucked beneath him, much as he would have been in the womb. Fuck asthma, he was achingly perfect—their healthy second son. "You like that don't you Jiro?" she laughed as the nurses departed.

"Hyuuga Kintaro and Hyuuga Kenjiro," Neji repeated aloud.

Sakura heaved a dreamy sigh, "I like the sound of that."

"Hyuuga Hitomi and Hyuuga Naomi?" Neji threw out there relishing the way her high cheekbones flushed with colour, the fluttering of her long black lashes as she blinked those jade eyes at him, just once. The way her full lips parted slightly in surprise then lifted infinitesimally at the corners resembling something approaching delight.

"Is it time already for that talk?" she joked.

"What talk?"

"The lets-have-another-baby talk."

It was Neji's turn to go red. "I see your sense of humor has returned."

"You were suggesting names…" she giggled motioning for him to draw closer so that she could see Taro. "They really do look exactly alike. I can't promise that I won't mix them up."

"Hn."

"They look a lot like you," her heart twisted painfully in her chest as love for all three of them swamped her. "This is unreal."

"What is?"

"Being here with the three most important persons in my life," she leaned in and murmured against his mouth. To her surprise he didn't flinch nor push her away. He allowed her to move her lips back and forth over his until her lack of proficiently led him to cover her mouth with his, in a mind-blowing kiss.

She had utterly disarmed him with that slow, gentle kiss, brushing her mouth over his with feather-light strokes that teased and made him ache for more. But gentle nibbles could soon turn into a lazy swirling of tongues so he drew back. "About what I said earlier…" Neji said putting some distance between their faces.

"Huh?" She made a breathy noise that sounded self-conscious.

Neji hesitated for a moment, "You said that you loved me?" he asked, his voice filled with quiet concern that matched the look in his eyes

She laughed nervously, a lonely chill filling her heart. "I…uh, I…uh," she stuttered.

The door suddenly burst opened and in came Hinata, Hanabi, and Hiashi looking aghast. A tousled looking nurse that Sakura didn't recognize followed them inside the room. She greeted them, straightened her glasses on the bridge of her nose and spoke softly and urgently with Hiashi.

"Take the twins," Hiashi instructed his daughters tersely.

Panic iced through Sakura's whose grasp tightened around Jiro. "You will do no such thing!"

"Uncle what is the meaning of this?" Neji scowled, their moment lost.

The nurse brushed aside a few loose strands of hair out of her face, "There has been some mix-up with the blood sample testing for DNA," she informed them while browsing through some files on her clipboard. "We're just going to take a second set of samples. It's standard procedure."

"Is any of this really necessary? You know these are Neji's children," Sakura's gaze was intent and purposeful, maternal instincts alone preventing her from handing the baby to Hinata who looked the least bit threatening.

"Father they have got Hyuuga eyes," Hinata said peering over at Jiro in Sakura's arms.

Hiashi frowned, "That counts for nothing."

"Indeed it doesn't…" The nurse said skimping through a few sheets of paper. "According to this, it was Neji's samples that were mixed up, not the twins," she looked up at them with shock-filled eyes, "But interestingly enough, there had been a positive match between his and the sample that it was tested against."

"Which concludes that one of the twin's samples was mixed up after all," Hiashi stated proving Sakura's original theory that he knew her sons were Neji's from the very beginning.

"No," the nurse shook her head, pulling a face at the clip board. "Neither of the twin's samples were touched."

"What?" Sakura asked, confused and horrified by what she was hearing. "Then whose sample was Neji's tested with?"

The nurse's mouth fell open; her eyes flickered across the room to land on her boss. "Hiashi-sama's."

They all stared at her in startled silence. All that could be heard was the sound of their breathing and rapidly beating hearts. Sakura looked at Hiashi, his expression intense but unreadable.

The blood drained from Neji's face with startling speed and for a moment he appeared completely stunned as well. "What are you saying?"

"You are actually your uncle's son."

**A/N: Well, there you have it. I can honestly say that was a pretty fucked up chapter.**

** For those of you who still don't understand Hiashi's motive for indirectly influencing Neji's decision to marry Sakura, he was only trying to ensure that Neji's first born was secured as a Hyuuga. Only through marriage could the child have been legitimate. **

**Neji's engagement to Temari served as a setback rather than as the push factor Hiashi had intended. So by having Neji think Temari was pregnant with some random guy's child, he would then be able to freely marry Sakura without the fear of tainting the Hyuuga name. This is because ultimately Temari's bethrotal to him would have been called off after both family found out about her pregnancy. So really, there was nothing to lose.  
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** Pride would not allow Hiashi to wed Neji to a commoner such as Sakura, so he staged everything, with the intent of breaking all ties they (Sakura and Neji) shared after the birth of the child. Of course he hadn't counted on her having twins...which resulted in everything spinning out of his control because Hyuuga laws only permitted first born rulers. Which meant that Neji either accepted that he could only keep one of his sons in order to safeguard his position or choose to keep both of them and lose everything. Think about it...  
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**It's sad that I felt the need to explain this chapter, which meant I've lost the non-existent confidence I had in my ability to convey ideas. If you found this as painful to read as I think you all did, then I suppose I had better quit this shit.**

**Reviews? Any final words? This is probably goodbye...**


	18. Chapter 18

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Eighteen**

By all means a good tale is one that captures interest, provokes emotion, and keeps a reader on the edge of his or her seat every chapter. But never in a million years had she thought anyone to be such a psychologically fucked-up author. Such an unforeseen quirk in any plot was one step too many when crossing the line. The limit of bombshells one should ever have thrown at them in a lifetime has been breached.

Hiashi. Is. Neji's. Father?

Sakura could bet that not even Hiashi himself saw it coming. Really, this was proof enough that the main antagonist in this parable was neither her conniving father-in-law nor his blonde accomplice, it was the mastermind herself—a descendant of and Misery's one true heir. Just what kind of justice was she trying to extract from their situation, what moral was being taught? No one had a clue.

While the story of her life contained all the elements of a potentially captivating novel, Sakura did not take pleasure in turning the pages of this page-turner. She found that as the number of chapters increased so too did the level of torment in her life. And as the saga came to a climax, that damn point where she thinks it can't possibly get anymore intolerable; the puppeteer would abruptly bring an end to it, leaving behind a torturous cliffhanger, which left even Sakura completely mind-fucked.

There were times when she thought the author needed to check herself into a mental facility. It was simply inhumane for one bitch to take such joy in inducing angst and being so twisted-minded. Then there were times she felt like bringing the curtains down on her role in this charade. But that was easier said than done, especially if waving the white flag wouldn't automatically bring an end to the raging war in her heart. The hardest battles were fought by the strongest soldiers yes, but Sakura's incredible will to continue fighting probably didn't stand a chance against the reality of what was happening.

There was something so artistically abstract about her chaotic life. Through the haze she had always suspected that the pandemonium had been organized, very much like a painter splashing colours on a white sheet of paper and passing it off as art. Except that beauty hadn't been in the eyes of the beholder, it was something along the line of abhor and dread. For it was like a tragic story told through and a hideous piece of art. Her story—a piece that rendered fear, because as it turned out, this Guilty Passion they claimed was never truly theirs.

The mastermind, the puppeteer, the author, reality, destiny, fate…she went by many aliases. It was all hers and hers alone. They were merely spectators of the spectacle which had become their lives; a set of protagonists whose role was to not have a role at all.

It seemed that the only person who genuinely had a role which hadn't been scripted was Hiashi. But current issues have left this notion under question along with several others. As it turned out it was nobody's game, Reality had screwed them all over.

The confirmed DNA results were no less shocking the second time they were read. It was like a cold slap to Neji's face, delivered brutally without emotions. Something inside Sakura shriveled and died and she hurt so much for him that she couldn't speak. He felt cheated, angry, disappointed, shocked…it was all blatantly evident in the aura he emitted—to her at least.

"Nii-san…" Hinata reached to touch his arm.

But Neji's hard-won composure assumed its place, collecting himself he shrugged and met his uncle's eyes with all the confidence he possessed, "This has got to be some sort of sick joke." He made for the door with such masculine grace one had to be as closely in sync with him as Sakura to notice the fury in his steps and the anger that squared his shoulders.

"Come back this instance," Hiashi's tone iced across her nerves, but she heard the underlying plea in his crisp voice.

Neji turned fiercely, his voice cold and angry. "You were having an affair with my mother?"

"These tests have been proven to have some amount of inaccuracy," Hiashi's voice was losing its bluster.

Neji had looked at him in such disgust Sakura shivered, "Your own brother…?"

For the first time since Sakura had met him, the elder's mask cracked to show some level of disquiet and uncertainty, "Don't be so quick to speak of things which you know nothing of boy," Hiashi himself had gone pale.

"Then deny it! Deny that there is even the slightest chance that the results will come back the same!" He was shouting this time only pausing to gain control of himself. His next words were a cold and contemptuous whisper. "We're taking that test again."

Hiashi's failure to outright repudiate the possibility of his paternity had led Sakura to think the man was hiding the true nature of his relationship with Neji's mother. Had they been lovers too? Neji was clearly appalled at the thought that his mother could have been as desperate as to fall into the arms of a man like Hiashi. And from his uncle's arrogant scowl he must have thought it impossible that he fathered such an uncultured boy.

From what Neji had shared with her, she knew that his parents hadn't been married. His father had already been engaged to marry some other woman when he was conceived. But where did Hiashi fit into the picture?

"That's fine by me," the elder closed his eyes briefly.

Neji held the door open, his eyes narrowed and a cynical smile curled his controlled mouth. "I'm going to ask that you all leave," he said after a taut few moments. "My wife would like to rest."

Hiashi growled at this, he knew that Neji was just using his loathing towards Sakura as bait to draw him out but he couldn't help it. She wasn't deserving of the title of Neji's wife—of his son's wife. "Very well then," he said casually and indicated to his daughters that they were to leave. "You and I have matters to discuss, I expect you to come home at some point, certainly you don't intend—"

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear; I want nothing to do with you or this family," Neji drawled in a tone of pure ice.

He didn't slam the door, as Hiashi thought he would have done. He closed it with a soft little click that ricocheted through the household head like a gunshot. Hanabi was frozen where she stood, tears rained down her face because she knew it in her heart, nii-san was dead serious.

"Please pardon that intrusion," he said without looking at her.

Intrusion? Is that what he thought of it as?

"Neji…?" Sakura stared at him waiting for an explanation, and yet it was all clear in her head that the reason he didn't unleash all the anger boiling inside him was because he didn't want to get her caught in the cross fire. "What are you thinking?" she asked softly.

Visibly he stiffened and his expression twisted with remorse. "I'm thinking that I need to get you out of here, how are you on your feet?" he asked after a long moment of silence.

Avoidance—his favourite technique.

Her eyes flashed at him angrily but then she sighed and nodded, her breath locked in her throat. She realized that it was probably best not to pick at such a fresh wound. Besides his bald refusal to let her get even a fraction too close to him was discouragement enough from ever venturing into his private matters. Most importantly, she didn't want to hurt him any further through her prying.

"I think I can manage."

"Good, my chauffer will take you home. I'll have you discharged in a bit," he would have been out the door with that said but she stopped him.

"Neji?" His name was the only thing that managed to escape her lips.

"Are you not well?"

She kept silent, and it was then that he looked at her. She closed her eyes; not wanting him to see what she suspected lurked in them. The sheen of tears—and a whole lot of genuine emotion. Maybe even the sympathy she felt for him and the love he wouldn't accept or even come to understand. Finally feeling capable of speaking—and looking at him—she opened them again. "I'm here for you."

A look of such tenderness appeared on her face, he merely stared. "I'll station a nurse at home to be on the safe side."

She hung her head in defeat, there was absolutely no way around this man. His self-protective walls had been built brick by brick with the help of his hard-edged uncle, his reputation, money and his family. He protected himself the only way he knew how, by keeping everyone at arm's length apart. Not genuinely trusting anyone. He had laid down the boundaries—something Sakura had failed miserably at disestablishing—went in expecting no emotion, no true feelings so that neither of them could get hurt.

Her heart ached for him. She couldn't imagine what it was like to keep all his emotions bottled up inside, never allowing not even the smallest drop of it to seep through. "Whenever you're ready…" she told him.

And as she expected he chose to ignore the true meaning behind her statement and left, "Take your time."

But was it possible that his last words too held double denotations? And if so, what could it mean?

Sighing, she finally got up and made her way to the bathroom. She splashed cool water on her face in an effort to rid herself of the ghost of a self she stumbled upon in the mirror. Her gaze had skimmed her reflection then went screeching back to it. She winced, she looked absolutely ghastly. Her hair was spilling all over the place and those wide set vibrant green eyes of her had dulled to the point where they looked haunted. It was enough to make her retch.

If she ever wanted to fit in her clothes again, she'd have to go without eating for weeks. She could see it now, her diet for the next month or two would comprise solely of fish and water. She'd have to go to the gym three days a week. She spun around, scrutinizing her figure in the mirror. Make that five days a week.

Her bathroom door flew open just as she was contemplating what to do with the cluster of pink seaweed that had become her hair.

"If you continue to look this awful you won't be married for long," it was the same advice she had just given herself.

Sakura rolled her eyes, straightened to grin at her blonde companion. Muted midday sunshine filtered in from a shaded window and gilded the hospital room with the faintest golden glow, a glow that flowed over and around him like a halo and gave him the appearance of a fallen angel.

"Naruto!" She exclaimed and ran straight for him.

He grinned just before she launched herself into his arms. She hit his chest and as she'd known he would, he caught her and whirled her around. "The last time I saw you, your stomach was sprouting an oversized water melon. It looks like I've missed the harvest."

Watermelon? Harvest? To what was he alluding?

"I can't say that I'm sorry that you had," she flung her arms around him in an exuberant hug. "And I've missed you too moron."

His big arms surrounded her in a hug that nearly squeezed the breath out of her. "I thought you would have delayed popping that thing out until I returned from my voyage," he chuckled.

She elbowed him. Same old Naruto, his trip with Jiraiya hadn't change much about him, at least not his insatiable knack for mischief and his pitiful jokes. No really, if she wasn't so happy to see him she would have pulverized the boy for speaking about her body as if it were a vending machine. Pop that thing out?

"I stopped by the hospital nursery on my way over here," he squinted in pain but grinned nevertheless. "I spent quite awhile trying to distinguish between Taro and Jiro," he laughed. "I had to put a mark on the ill-tempered one to be able to tell them apart."

He must have heard about her going into labour from Ino. Heck, the entire Konoha must have known about it due to the woman's proficiency with the various social networking sites.

She elevated a pink brow, "What do you mean by mark?"

"I drew a bowl of ramen on his forehead," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well Naruto equals ramen, so it kind of was. "He was awfully impolite about it but I think—"

She punched him in the gut. "You had better hope Neji doesn't find out."

"Sakura-chan," Naruto groaned, holding his stomach. "Speaking of pretty boy, I saw him on his way out; I think he still hasn't gotten over that time we met back at your apartment. He had barely even acknowledged me when I greeted him. Is something the matter?"

A curious little puddle of silence washed between them.

"A bowl of ramen, seriously?" She ignored his enquiry. That was conversation for another time, right now she much rather enjoy his company and the feel of being treated as an equal rather than as an obligation or liability. She missed the thrill of a good friendly argument.

"And what's up with their names, Kintaro and Kenjiro? How boring, couldn't you have tried to make their names a bit cooler?" he grimaced. "You should have named the ill-tempered one Raiden."

Sakura gritted her teeth, "Stop calling him the ill-tempered one, he has a name!"

"A very crappy one," He made a face. "Raiden is way cooler. It means God of lightning and thunder," Naruto continued. "It sure fits his fiery little personality. He's not even a day old and has already learned how to glare. What's up with that?"

Sakura giggled.

"And the spoilt one, I'd have named him Ryuhiko—dragon prince. The nurses all flock in his direction as soon as he makes a sound. I get that he's kind of a big shot around here because Neji's family own the place but I mean he's too young to be picking chicks."

She laughed again. "Bitter much?"

He pouted.

"And Jiro is not spoilt! Naturally a child that young needs to be constantly looked after," she said in her son's defence.

"Naturally my ass!" Naruto barked. "Ino couldn't put him down for a second without him wailing like a siren."

"He's a baby you idiot!" she yelled back. "Now shut up and help me out of this damn hospital gown."

"Are you happy Sakura?" Naruto questioned cautiously.

She peered up at him, "What do you mean?"

He flashed a foxy grin, "I know you how much you loved Sasuke and well, now that he has made his choice and you're married to Neji, what will become of you two?"

Her frown deepened, she hadn't thought of Sasuke in a long while and a part of her knew that it wasn't because her mind was so occupied with Neji, it was because recalling the love she had for him was too painful. If she thought of him and the lovelorn life he pushed her into, then her situation with Neji would seem too much like a repeat of history. And while it probably was, pondering on it would undoubtedly break her beyond repair.

Sasuke never gave her a chance, she wasn't even too sure if Neji was, but he was giving her five years and in her book that was chance enough. It was pathetic and somewhat selfish that she had entered their marriage for the sake of love when the rules had been carefully laid down on the table. What was even more pathetic was thinking that Neji's disownment of his family had moved his relationship with her up to something else.

"He has made his choice and I've made mine," she sniffed, Naruto didn't have to look at her to see the tears.

"Screw teme, Neji is a great guy," he chided as he nudged her chin for her to look up at him.

"You don't even know him!" she twisted her face from his grasp.

"When someone talks about a person as much as Hinata does about Neji, after awhile you begin to feel like you know the guy."

She held his gaze for a moment longer and then smiled but it didn't linger for too long. She pulled away from his embrace and briefly looked away, "Do you believe in fate Naruto?"

He looked at her questionably.

"I mean do you think things happen because they were destined to?"

There was a moment of stillness, he blinked continuously then burst in a gaiety of laughter, "I see Neji has burned his philosophy into your psyche."

"It's not like that at all," she shook her hands fiercely then responded quietly. "Sometimes I feel as though certain events in our lives were premeditated by a power that holds no form, one that is far more superior to any that mankind possesses."

Naruto slung an arm over her shoulders again and planted an affectionate kiss on her cheek, "Sakura, the story of our lives is an open book, but the pages are blank. They were left blank for us to ink our own fates, choosing to believe otherwise is proof of our own cowardice towards writing our own destiny. We are our own authors."

Something sparked in her, something almost like reluctant admiration or at least a certain grudging respect and she inclined her head. When had Naruto gotten so perceptive? Sakura turned away, impatient with her own maudlin reflections. "We are our own authors you say?"

"Believe it!" he stuck out his thumb.

Her expression turned serious, "Then my story just got fucked."

"Why's that?"

"Because I've arrived at an author's block."

OoOoOoOo

In complete silence they made a forty-five minute drive to a suburban region across the city. When Neji had said that the driver would take her and their boys home, Sakura thought he meant to her apartment. Never had she imagined that they would be driving to the far end of Konoha's to a unique beach community with upscale architecturally designed contemporary houses.

According to chauffer whose name she learnt was Daisuke, this particular community offered about three miles of pristine sandy beaches, common-areas, walking, biking and jogging trails, professional tennis courts, volleyball and basketball courts, game arcades for kids, fitness centres and a spa. She didn't see the sense in pointing out something so irrelevant but he went on to talk about the exquisite restaurants and the extensive bird population which he told her was a main attraction for both locals and tourists.

She glanced over at Taro and Jiro who were both fast asleep in their respective car seats which Neji had obviously went ahead and purchased. They had both worked her weary self to the point of running on reserves and she was just content at having them finally settled in those damn things. Okay, so maybe Naruto was right, Jiro was a little spoilt and did not like to be put down, but that was only because his ill-tempered brother got all the attention so whenever he got a little recognition he exploited it.

She huffed a breath, was she really trying to psychoanalyze her sons to justify their behaviour? They were newborns. That alone was justification in itself. She looked out the window at the passing traffic and the magnificent horizon ablaze in the afternoon sunset, "Where exactly are we headed?" she asked in a moment of anxiety.

Daisuke casted a surreptitious little glance into his rear vision mirror that made her a tad bit uneasy. "You mean to tell me that you've been driving around with me for almost an hour without actually knowing our destination?"

"I was busy wrestling those monsters to sleep," she tore her gaze away from the window, her light features going sardonic. The thin strap of her top fell off her shoulder and she pushed it back up with a look of irritation. "They'll be the death of me."

"Better them than anyone else, besides boys will be boys." He simply flashed a straightforward, guileless smile in the rear view mirror and steered the Mercedes into a long, curved driveway.

Entering the courtyard through a pair of wrought iron gates, a loggia of stone-covered pillars and arched openings travelled the length of the home. With its terracotta-hued barrel roof tiles, limestone sheathed walls, stone accents and golden-hued stucco façade; she suspected that the house was a quintessential Tuscan-inspired home.

She was filled with admiration and awe as she gazed at the house's perfect proportions, outlined against the bright blue sky. It was the early days of December the green of the lawns complimented the avenue of jacarandas trees lining the straight driveway. The flowering miracles of the tropics, the poincianas filled the park-like grounds with their sumptuous colour and their beautiful lacy branches threw shadows on the ground. The whole scene in front of her was one of visual harmony.

"It's so beautiful," she pressed her nose against the glass much like a child would and drank in the scenery. She could just bet the beach was only a step out the back door. The view from the car was breathtaking; the deep blue that stretched far out behind the house was enough to make her squeal in delight.

The vehicle came to a sudden stop in the driveway which was large enough to fix six cars. Three vehicles were already parked there, one of the two sports car being Neji's. Did he not know of the concept of living on a budget?

"Welcome home Mrs. Hyuuga," Daisuke exited the vehicle and opened the door on her side. He reached inside and carefully drew her from the vehicle. She stepped to the sidewalk on shaky feet, and he tucked her to his side. "Steady, will you be alright on your feet or should I ask for a wheelchair?"

Sakura frowned, "That won't be necessary—" she turned to fetch her boys but to her surprise two young women dressed in uniforms beat her to it. "What are you doing?" Sakura all but breathed fire, where the hell had they come from?

"A thousand pardons Madam we didn't mean to startle you," they bowed in unison introducing themselves as Hana and Mai, the nannies. Hana was a fair-headed lass of medium built around the same age as Sakura. Her steely, calculating grey gaze seemed somewhat more suiting in place of her immaculate red-haired coworker's azure ones.

"We were instructed to take the babies to the nursery at once," Hana told her, trying to wrestle Taro from his car seat without disrupting his nap. Too late for that, his little cries pierced the entire driveway. "Now, now don't cry little one," she cooed almost timidly.

Sakura found herself so quickly on the other side of the car, she wondered if her newly found maternal nature had granted her super powers. "I'll take care of that," she eased both nannies out of her way, bent down and scooped her son into her arms. Cradling him against her bosom she asked, "Instructed by whom?"

"Your husband ma'am."

She didn't bother to hide her annoyance. She hated whenever persons referred to her as ma'am or madam. Neji had to do something about his staff's impeccable formality. She would not stand for it.

"Well please inform Mr. Hyuuga that Taro and Jiro won't be going anywhere unless he himself explains why he has brought us here."

Both girls were quiet for a while, "Hana, I think she's actually being serious," Mai spoke for the first time revealing a heavy accent that Sakura could not pin.

The warm, pliant weight of Taro and his annoyed expression made Sakura smile. She looked down at Jiro and drew the tip of her finger along his cheek. The infant turned his face into that familiar touch and opened his eyes. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest as she stared down into those lavender eyes so much like their father's.

"You damn right I'm serious," she didn't joke when it came to her babies. "Now I want answers!"

"I don't think that you understand ma'am," Mai was saying. "Your husband has been brooding over the fact that you are an hour late and was adamant about having you settled before dinner."

"And he's in a particularly rotten mood today," Hana added as a warning.

"When is he ever not in a rotten mood?" she shot back, her green eyes large and searching. "Hmmm…?

They obviously had never heard of a rhetorical question before because both girls were shuffling awkwardly in their spots silently urging the other to speak.

"Well…" Hana drawled nervously, "He's your husband, you would know of his frequent mood changes better than anyone," she finished off shyly.

Sakura wanted to laugh. She had never held enough authority over anyone to have them fear her, let alone peers within the same age group. "Where is this husband of mine that you speak so fearfully of?"

She heard her name from above the whisper of the ocean and the sea breeze rustling the trees. It was him of course. Neji was coming towards her, his placid mask in place as usual. And naturally she felt an involuntary tug of emotion at the first sight of him.

"You're late," he scolded.

"There you are," she scowled at him and cuddled Taro closer. As he drew nearer she tilted her pink head to study him more keenly. "What's going on?"

He didn't answer, but just looked down at her and she found to her dismay that she was trembling. With a vague wave of his hand the nannies fled the scene taking the babies with them. He had to clasp Sakura's wrist in an iron grip to prevent her from helplessly following them inside the house.

"No!" she drew a sharp, amazed breath. "Why have you brought us here?"

"Is it not obvious?" he took a deep long exasperated breath. "We live here."

She glanced over at Daisuke who was busy heaving suitcases out of the car trunk. It was funny; one of the suitcases looked vaguely familiar.

"W-we?" she stuttered, "L-live he-here?"

For a second he looked mildly amused, "That's what I said wasn't it?"

"I am aware that you sold my apartment but I still have a couple more days before I have to clear out."

"And?" he arched a brow.

She stomped her feet into the ground, "And damn it Neji I wish you had talk to me about this first."

"There wasn't time," he said flatly. "But if it makes you feel any better we've moved your all your belongings into the basement. The maids are sorting through the boxes to place your things in their respective areas for ease of access to you. I'd suggest that when you do have some free time, you assist them so as not to have them dispose of anything you deem valuable."

"But I don't understand…" Was he so controlling that he didn't value her opinion on matters that clearly concerned her?

"You seldom do," he turned on his heels expecting her to follow suit, except that she remained rooted in her spot. "Come."

The most perverse reason made Sakura stood still until he took her hand and impatiently tugged her along. It both pained her and excited her the way her fingers curled into his own. His hand tightened and she looked up at him, a terrible awareness in her green eyes. "Where are you taking me?"

"No questions."

She made a futile effort to pull away. "We need to talk."

"Hn?"

"About Hiashi," she answered knowing she was threading on dangerous grounds. But she couldn't control herself, she was sick with worry. The tension that radiated off him at the mention of Hiashi's name was thick enough to stifle her. She felt completely thrown off balance by his troubled state.

At some note in her voice he looked worriedly at her but discarded the hand he held, "What about him?"

"You tell me…after all he is your father," she had to admit that was cutting it a little too close.

The look he gave her held rage and pain. "Don't ever repeat that."

She blinked, her breath caught in her throat. "It's okay to be upset but it is—"

"—Upset?" Neji's face darkened. "My father held nothing but the highest regards for a man who betrayed his honor." He shook his head, "The image that I've had of my mother has forever been tainted. Hiashi had cheated my father out of many things I just didn't know that I was one of them."

Sakura's heart ached for him. She moved a little closer and wished that they were alone, so that she could put her arms around him and give him the hug he needed right now, even though she suspected he'd push her away if she tried to hold him too close. He'd shut himself off. And she took care not to touch him, not to do anything that might have him crawling further into his shell than he already was.

What was the real reason he held her at such an emotional distance? Did he feel he was incapable of truly being loved, the same way his father had never been by his mother or his uncle?

Yet she felt a surge of sympathy for Hiashi, a man she had always despised. How terrible to have lost a child that you never knew you had until now?

"But what does this mean for you? You're even more of an important figure now that you're the clan head's oldest child." She stared up into the handsome features she'd come to love so much. The snowy eyes, the strong nose and beautifully moulded mouth…

A mouth that tightened into a hard line, lending a toughness to Neji's perfect face. "That changes nothing, we have a contract and I vowed to see it through."

Her face fell with dawning understanding, "Is that the only reason you've stuck with me?"

He gave her a slant look.

"To honour our contract?" she mimicked bitterly, "Or have you another motive in mind?"

He sighed, "What other could there be?"

"An act of rebellion…"

"You mean by shoving our marriage in Hiashi's face?" he asked incredulously, his eyes glinted with silent menace, his lips compressed in a hard line. "When you think so highly of me I don't know what else to think of myself," he retorted with a bitter, sarcastic edge.

Her head jerked up, eyes flashing, voice cold and clipped. "You've used me before."

"Our marriage has nothing to do with either of us, if that's what you're getting at," Neji's eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth going white.

"It doesn't?" she asked, and heard the stinging skepticism in her own voice. Her chest hurt with the effort of keeping all the emotion inside.

He was quiet for a while, his only response was an indifferent jerk of his shoulder; his eyes remained cold. They stared at each other for a long, aching moment; Sakura felt all the pain and sorrow—the disappointed, destroyed hope—rise up within her, threatening to come out in a howl of misery. She felt it in every aching part of her body, knew it was reflected in her tear-filled eyes.

Sakura felt a sudden spurt of rage at his obvious indifference.

"Well I can't handle a relationship of this sort," she said, her voice cold. If she stayed angry, she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't hang on to his sleeve and beg him to deny that he didn't feel anything at all for her. A woman this deeply in love shouldn't be so miserable.

Neji had never given her the slightest inclination that there could be a future between them; at least not one that exceeded their five year arrangement. Not only had she chosen to disregard that glaring point of truth before, but she had stubbornly refused the two options which had been left open to her—either slink away with a discreet lack of fuss or else put aside her silly dreams to continue their relationship, which would have been his preferred path. She must have known he told himself repeatedly, that to fling all her cards on the table would put in him an untenable position.

"Where is all of this coming from?" He asked in a low voice. His eyes and mouth possessed a certain steeliness; making her wonder if she'd actually annoyed him.

"The same place it has always come from—" Tears started at the corners of her eyes, and she bit her lip hard to keep them from sliding down her cold cheeks. "—my heart, you know… that thing you can always count on to wipe your muddy feet clean." She planted her hands on her hips, giving him a glare of angry defiance even as her heart begged her to not press any further least she end up hearing something that'd undoubtedly become the death of her.

"Sakura…"

One tear escaped to trickle down her cheek.

"I don't understand," His hands seemed to reach out for her, resting on her shoulders. Slowly, very slowly, he moved closer, his mouth merely a couple inches away from touching hers. His thumb brushed against her bottom lip but then he eased back.

"You seldom do," she shrugged his arm off her and made for the foyer.

OoOoOoOo

Hyuuga Neji awakened and opened one eye to look at the clock on the bedside table, not surprised to note it was 3:00 a.m. The same time he awoke every morning for the past month. Didn't matter what time he went to sleep, the duo in the nursery down the hall always made sure that he got up at 3:00 a.m. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, then suppressed a groan as the screams filtered into his room through that damned radio-like gadget on his night table.

He climbed groggily out of his bed, snatching the two extra bottles Mai always made for these routine trips to the boy's room, but stopped in his tracks when he heard a familiar soothing voice and little infant squeals.

Sakura.

"Mommy's here don't cry," she spoke in that sweet, soft tone she only reserved for the twins. "Did the dark scare you?"

Sighing, he eased back into his bed and settled the bottles back on his night table. In the morning they'd probably be empty any way because even Sakura knew that she was not enough to satisfy the tots' insatiable appetite. He remembered the first time he had seen her feed the boys; it was a night very much like this one. 3:05 a.m. to be exact and he was the first one on site—fresh diapers, heated bottles, cough medicine, he had all but some earplugs. Jiro's asthma had been acting up and so he had been extremely miserable that night. And between trying to safeguard his hearing, administering medicine, changing diapers and feeding the shrieking babies the Hyuuga became overwhelmed.

"_**Need a hand?"**_

_**He turned to see Sakura standing in the doorway of the nursery. Her face was pale but resolute and her pink hair was tied neatly at the nape of her neck. She was wearing a primrose nightgown. The shade suited her, bringing out the evergreen of her eyes, and the soft draping fabric skimmed alluringly over her body, accentuating her curves. She wore baby fat well.**_

"_**Go back to bed, it's my week," her silent arrival had caught him slightly off guard, but he wouldn't have allowed it to show. **_

_**He thought it sad that they had created a schedule just to avoid running into each other at nights when they tended to their sons. Ever since the first night after their fight Sakura had kept him at arm's length. Their conversations were reduced to polite greetings and occasional inquiries about Jiro's illness. There was no mention of Hiashi and they hadn't spoken directly of or to each other. He can't say that he minded but how much more cooling off can one do after four and a half weeks have past?**_

"_**I can't sleep," she said, not moving from her spot. She had calmed down, but he noticed an unusual brittleness underneath the surface of her composure. "Not while their shrieks are threatening to burst my eardrums."**_

"_**A whole sentence? I'm flabbergasted," dry sarcasm at its best.**_

_**She glared at him, her eyes were flashing green fire again and her calm composure was starting to crack. Perhaps teasing her wasn't so much of a good idea. "That's a nasty cough he has got, give him to me," she motioned towards Jiro with her outstretched arms. **_

_**He complied coming to halt to tower over her. She shivered apprehensively apparently not accustomed to the capacity of his presence to fill even the largest of rooms. "Careful," he warned as she took the baby from his arms.**_

"_**I know what I'm doing," she grated while concentrating on latching Jiro onto her left breast. Her now tanned fingers—mostly from spending so much time down the beach—starkly contrasted with her pale flesh and dusky pink nipple that was revealed as she eased her bra cup aside.**_

_**For a few seconds Neji stared down at her, his eyes glittering with a something fierce. When Jiro drew her fully into his mouth Sakura suddenly looked up. His face momentarily contorted and then he looked away, mainly because it was painful to watch something so intimate. It tightened the knot of dismay within him just a little bit more.**_

"_**I still can't get used to this," her face was flushed.**_

_**He knew her words held double meaning but chose not to investigate, "In due time you will."**_

That was the furthest any exchange between them had gone in the longest while. And even now as he lied on his back recalling memories that held no meaning he wondered why he was reluctant to take initiative and make amendments with her. Maybe he was frightened—remorseful even of her affections towards him, of his towards her. He didn't wish to exercise something that would only end in both their detriments. And he was absolutely sure there was no way to get past the fact that he had basically told her she meant nothing to him. Yes, he may have coached it more diplomatically but not even he could deny that his choice of words were guilty of the charges.

Then there was the issue of his family and their constant interference with his life. The Hyuuga prerogative was no longer something he was proud to bear, heck he cringed everything his employees affiliated him with the cursed name. The betrayal of his uncle coupled with his indirect attempt at his son's life was not something Neji would ever forgive, not in this life, not even in the afterlife. No amount of apologies or excuses could ever bring him to trust the man again. And it still didn't matter how tragic the story behind his conception, the fact of the matter was that his father had been made a fool of.

But as far as Neji was concerned, Hiashi was as dead to him as could be, so in truth, his birth father had died…a long time ago.

"I don't understand him either," Sakura's voice reverberated through him from the speakers; he was immediately drawn out of thought. He pictured her leaning over the crib, her captivating face, the wild pink tresses, those striking jade eyes, and her plump Cupid's bow mouth turned down in a frown. "He doesn't let anyone in."

She was talking to them. It was something she did all the time, they were great listeners. A gurgle here and there proved that they were fascinated by her usual rants about starting college too far into the semester and being slammed with too much home work. If you asked him complaining made her seem a little ungrateful. He bent over backwards for her to get into medical school, no one got in this late without some serious cash, strong links and the ability to coax a deaf man into buying earphones. It was not like he expected anything in return but it wouldn't kill her to be a bit more appreciative.

Yet, he couldn't help but think that at nights when she sat in the nursery telling tales of her day to Jiro and Taro, she was really finding a medium through which to talk to him. A channel by which to share that other side of her that only existed because of him. Surely she must have known that an intercom was set up in his room as well, which meant that nothing that happened in the boys' room went unheard in his. Either that or she trusted that his respect for other people's privacy would have led him to turn off the connection.

And that he did, every night…except for tonight, because she was referring to him.

"This thing with Hiashi has hardened him even more, I can't imagine what he's going through," She spoke clearly, but there was a slight tremor in her voice, he could almost picture the prick of tears that he knew stung her eyes. "And I can't do anything to put him at ease, I can only be angry at him for shutting me out."

Try as he might, he couldn't understand her or her desire to be let in and her willingness to let others in.

"The more I try to get close, the further he pushes me away," he heard her choked back a rising bile then began a cry that segued to a wail. Before he knew it, he was marching down the hallway across the black marble corridor. He paused by the opened large living area with floor-to-ceiling glass walls virtually all along its length. Through them he glanced up at the night sky, studded with stars.

"Why does she keep doing this to herself…" he sighed, looking around the room he had allowed her to tastefully furnish. At the time it had been a peace offering but oddly enough it became his favourite spot in the entire house.

White sofas stood on a black-tiled floor, focused on a modern fireplace in the centre of the room. Picking up a remote, he pressed a button and a wall of the black glass rectangular chimney surrounding the fire slid back to reveal a large television. The local soap network came alive on the screen, an indication that Sakura had been the last to use the TV. He could count on one hand the number of times he caught her watching something other than those overly dramatic, complete waste of valuable air time, poorly scripted, and horribly produced soap operas.

Some nights he'd catch her curled up in a blanket to the far end of the sofa with a bucket of ice-cream nestled between her legs. Every once in a while her spoon would stop midway between her mouth and the sweet frozen treat as though debating with herself whether over indulging would help her weight loss cause. Her eyes were always plastered to the screen before her, seemingly unaware or probably shutting out everything else around her. Enthralled by her beauty bathed in the glow of the television, he always disregarded the presence of her opened textbooks on the couch; it wasn't like she'd listen to anything he had to say. If she wanted to procrastinate and not do her assignments then that was all on her head.

To be honest she earned the right to be a delinquent and that she was—with reason. Medical school was no walk in the park especially if you had a hand in raising two young children while attending. And with Sakura's inability to cope with stress he couldn't imagine it being anything less than unnerving. Though according to her professors (he did regular checkups on her progress at school) she was probably a little ahead of the rest of the students. In rare moments like those he felt a swell of pride to call the brat his wife.

Shaking off such ridiculous sentiments he headed down another windowless corridor of marble and mirrors stopping just outside a door before opening it.

"Need a hand?" he offered.

Sakura gave a gasping cry of shock, the back of her palms going to dry her eyes and wisp the loose strands of hair out of her face. "I've got it under control," she spluttered coming unceremoniously to her feet from where she had been sitting on the ground.

Neji waited until his heart had returned to his chest from where it had leapt into his throat. "It's my week," he sounded as ragged as he felt.

"Don't you think I know that," she snapped. "If you had just gotten off your hide when they started crying, I would still be asleep."

She was giving him the cold shoulder, no surprise there. "If you feel so strongly about it then I'll take over."

She flashed him a livid glare, "Keep your voice down."

"Is everything alright?" his brow shot together.

"Turns out they were just hungry. Jiro has already fallen asleep…" then she added, "…thankfully, but Taro's being stubborn as usual…" Her eyes shifted away from his, her throat moving up and down nervously. "Aside from that, they're good and all yours…" She made for the door but he stopped her.

"I meant is everything okay with you?"

Her gaze returned to his, two small frown lines sectioning her forehead. "Of course, why should it be otherwise?" She pressed her lips together and looked away.

Neji saw the shadow of grief pass through her eyes before she averted her gaze. He fought down his anger, reminding himself that she was behaving this way because of him. "I'm having lunch with an old friend of mine and she has begged that I take you along so she could meet my wife and the boys. Is that alright?"

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, "I can't see why it wouldn't be."

I am after all your dutiful contract wife, she might as well have added because her tone clearly gave way to her actual thoughts on the matter. Disappointment covered the fire in his belly like a wet blanket. Was it his imagination or did she look ever so slightly tousled? This was the woman who a month ago had confessed her love for him, shocking him with her honestly. He had felt as though a gauntlet had been laid down, and it had not been one which he had been inclined to take up.

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

To his surprise she just nodded, no uncivil remark, face still serious, the bright green eyes wrapped in luxurious dark eyelashes, an even to the shape of her mouth. She wouldn't drop the cool mask, Neji realized and all he was seeing now was the saddened, worryingly attractive woman. "Then I guess I won't," she said finally, her face carved from stone.

Something inched up along the length of his spine and made the air shiver as it left his lungs. A knife seemed to enter his chest, stunning him with anguish and surprise. He felt himself pulling inwards as if to avoid a blow. He would make certain that Sakura remained oblivious to the havoc she was wreaking within him. The havoc he couldn't even begin to understand.

She cut across his thoughts, "Goodnight."

The soft swish of their clothing as their bodies brushed while she exited sounded like a force ten gale. He had no rational explanation for the way she made him think and feel, and trying to find one only served to increase his awareness of the effect she was having on him and his desire crush it.

And yet, as much as he wanted to impose his will on his awareness of her, his body refused to accept it. In fact it was quite the opposite. The ache that had been tormenting him flared from a dull presence to a sharp, predatory male clamour. Totally against what he had believed he knew about himself, her admission of her love for him had increased this dreadful feeling rather than destroy it.

Not even so much as a backward glance.

He forced back an unfamiliar feeling settling over him like an impenetrable fog. "You dumb girl, the problem isn't that I won't let you in. It's that I can't keep you out."

OoOoOoOo

The bar was fashionable with walls washed with an ochre shade reminiscent of a Tuscan villa. The wooden refractory-style tables were dark and narrow, and large oil paintings of village scenes hung on the walls. But that was as far as the term quaint went when describing the place. Like any pub, the air was fumed with the stench of tequila, sake and male sweat. And of course the ambience would not have been ideal without the uproar of a good bar brawl.

Ino took a strong swallow of her drink, the alcohol burning all the way to her gut. She narrowed her eyes, giving her a sly little look of amusement from under her lashes. But Sakura couldn't help noticing that the blonde didn't look nearly as amused. "You don't drink?"

She shook her head remembering the last time they were at a bar and Ino had coaxed her into taking a sip from her cup. One thing had led to a next and a mere month after she had an embryo nestled in her uterus. She cringed when she thought of how she must have thrown herself at Neji and how he must have had to pry her hands off him. One thing was for sure, she most certainly wouldn't risk a drink now. In her current emotionally vulnerable frame of mind there was no telling what she might attempt to do, or how much she might try to humiliate herself.

"You do know that the essence of coming to a bar is to have a few beers, flirt with a couple hot guys and then leave like nothing ever happened, right?" Ino asked rolling her eyes at her friend's ridiculous advocacy for abstinence.

"I was perfectly fine with us going to see a movie," Sakura huffed. For the amount of despair one sip of bliss had caused her, she was utterly terrified at even taking a swig of anything that smelled even remotely alcoholic. She had never once looked at Neji without shrinking at the thought that whenever their gaze met all he saw of her was the pathetic drunk she had been.

"Nonsense," Ino waved her off, "If we had gone to see a movie then we wouldn't have gotten a chance to talk."

Talk?

Sakura wasn't sure what had led her to take up Ino's offer to hangout tonight. Perhaps with all that was going on around her she grew a little nostalgic. Back when they were both in high school she could always count on a good night out with her best friend to pull her out of the deepest pool of gloom. However she didn't think that the relationship she and Ino now enjoyed could be exclusively termed. Their earnestly shared attachment to Hyuuga Neji had driven an impenetrable wedge between the two of them. Ino was claiming to have gotten pass everything but Sakura knew better than to dispel or entertain anything other than her own instincts.

"You want to talk?" Sakura arched a suspicious brow.

Ino nodded.

She sighed and relaxed on her stool. Maybe her decision had less to do with the sake of old times and more to do with wanting a break from her hectic life. The boys were driving her crazy; she barely had time for herself. And if she wasn't preoccupied with them, her studies certainly would take their place. Then there was Neji, he filled her very thoughts and her dreams, but never seem to fill the void in her heart or the empty conversations that hung between them.

To be frank when she had first envisioned them living together this was exactly how it all played out in her mind. Them eating breakfast together in stony silence, each taking turns with the boys and spending their free time ignoring the other's presence. It was just as she dreaded and was enough to make her cry her heart's contents to the shadows at night.

"I can't say that a bar is the best place to do so," she prompted her elbows on the counter and ordered a plate of Tempura, a dish that consisted of seafood, vegetables, mushrooms and meat coated with batter and deep fried.

"It's my kind of setting," Ino admitted, and Sakura would be damned if she didn't know why it was.

When it came to capturing attention Ino never failed to impress. The men in the room were practically drooling at her as though her eye-catching waterfall of golden curls, her enormous cerulean eyes and her full quivering pink mouth had given them a hard on. The oyster pink dress she wore was unremarkable. It fitted enough to hug her rounded bust and just short enough to reveal shapely knees and accentuate the pair of silhouettes she wore. But the men didn't stop gawking. Ino relished the knowledge and Sakura felt a prick of envy.

Her dress was a vibrant emerald green and far more impressive than the blonde's. It gave her skin a glow of creamy perfection and highlighted her bright eyes. The glistening fabric shaped her body from bust to hip and flared out into a short skirt. It was the type of dress that'd make someone do a double-take, but seeing as though she was playing wing girl to Yamanaka Ino tonight, the effect of her dress amounted to nothing because all heads have already turned—in a fairer direction.

Okay, so Ino had the advantage of being able to charm any man into ogling—point taken. But Sakura was only interested in one and he didn't grovel like the men in the bar; he was far too decent for that. But just knowing that she had sparked his interest even for the few seconds she had kept her mouth shut was enough to instill a little confidence in her. Her mind flashed back to an hour ago before she left the house.

_**Tall and imposing, with an unmistakable air of power about him, Neji had stood perfectly still at the bottom of the stairs, calmly watching her dismount.**____**Her eyes had flown to his face, and as their gazes met she sucked in a startled breath, partly because she still couldn't get over the fact that he was utterly gorgeous but mostly because of the way he was studying her.**_

_**She felt a shiver of sexual awareness prickle across her skin when his gaze swept arrogantly over her. The intensity in his eyes made her suddenly acutely aware of her body, and of the revealing dress she was wearing.**____**A wave of heat had washed across her exposed skin, but it was unsettling and she did her best to ignore it. **_

"_**That's an awful lot of clothes for a hangout, don't you think?" he had asked sarcastically, running his eyes insultingly over her, starting from the tips of her toes and working his way up in a leisurely fashion, letting his gaze linger on her almost indecently exposed breasts. "Take my jacket and be back before eleven."**_

_**Who did he think he was to be giving her a curfew? **_

"_**I don't tell you what time to come home," she said, trying to ignore the way her skin was burning from his perusal. It was strangely exciting, yet utterly unnerving, to feel the way her body was responding to the touch of his eyes. "And the last time I checked, I'm not a teenage." With that said she walked out the front door, slamming it in the process.**_

Sakura chuckled at the memory's brief intervention of her moment of plagued insecurity. She supposed it was offering her a little reassurance that she was still attractive and desirable. Either that or it was just a reminder of her curfew.

She decided that it had to be the former. Why else would Neji insist that she wore his jacket except for covering her feminine assets from prying eyes? Assets that he thought to be feminine enough to catch other men's eyes…as it did his? Errr...maybe the whole thing was a big misconception and he was merely only appalled at her choice of clothing given that she was married…to _**him**_ of course!

"I think I know how I'll be spending the rest of the night," Ino gave an exuberant little laugh.

Her voice brought Sakura back just in time for her to catch her friend winking at one of the bartenders.

She stifled a giggle and shook her head, "Same old Ino, though he is kinda cute," she deduced studying the man's beautifully chiseled features, though his white mane and rose coloured orbs were a bit striking if not a rare combination. Heck they were odd even on their own. Odd but beautiful either way.

Ino laughed, "Shame on you Sakura," she teased. "You're married."

It didn't feel that way.

She pouted a little, finally relieved when the bartender came back with her meal. "That's an idea I'm still trying to get used to." Along with having two children, she thought while seasoning her Tempura with salt and dipping it in the light sauce that came with it.

"Me too," was Ino's quiet remark. It may not have held any bitterness but it sure as hell held some remorse. It bewildered Sakura.

One bite into the light crispy texture of her snack and Sakura was floating towards savoury heaven. "This is really good," she said with her mouth full, more so to shift the direction their conversation was heading.

"How are my god sons?" Having picked up on Sakura's intentions Ino promptly changed the subject, thinking that she'd touch back on it later.

"Driving me crazy as hell, but I love every minute of it," she flashed a goofy grin that made her cheeks swell to the size of oranges because she had a mouth stuffed with grilled vegetables.

Ino grimaced snatching up a piece of napkin to wipe the grease from Sakura's mouth. "Easy girl, the food ain't going anywhere. It's not like the plate has legs or anything."

"The boys are great. We make memories every day," she spoke in a much softer tone this time. She hadn't understood the true meaning of a mother's love until now. It was a love that knew no boundary, it was wholehearted, pure, and it was something she took pride in knowing she was able to offer to her children. With childbirth came a certain level of natural maturity and she relished it—thrived on it actually. Because regardless of what anyone might think she was proud to be a twenty-one year old mother.

And damn it before she knew it she had gone into a huge rambling session about how Neji would dress the twins in the same colour just so that she couldn't tell them apart. Ino threw her head back in laughter.

"Some mother you are!"

Then there was that time Taro started crying because Neji had taken up Jiro first and when the Hyuuga finally took up the child he would not stop pulling on his father's hair.

Soon enough Sakura went into a rant about how much she hated the fact that Jiro didn't like bottled feed so she had to breast feed him all the time, even when Neji was present. "For some reason he's always conveniently hungry when Neji's around," she scoffed.

Then there was the time Taro puked all over her biology homework which she had coaxed Neji into doing for her. She thought of it as retaliation on the baby's part, she had ignored his cries the entire time she was attempting the question. That was, until a furious Neji got home, took away her notebook and demanded that she fed his son. And as if it wasn't torture enough to have him in the same room when she breast feeds, he went on to mock the answers she had came up with for her assignment.

Soon enough he was joining Sakura on the carpeted floor of the nursery to correct all the mediocre responses she had written down. But Taro was still screaming at the top of his lungs even after he was fed because daddy wasn't paying him any attention either. And well…Neji lost a good couple strands of hair that day.

"And how's Neji?" Ino suddenly asked cutting short Sakura's tale about the first time he changed a diaper and how she had to relieve Jiro of it because not only was it put on incorrectly but it was squeezing the life out of his poor little body.

Of course, she thought, rolling her eyes inwardly and swallowing the bitterness. How was Neji? How was she supposed to answer that? "He's great," she scolded herself thinking that her voice gave way to more than she had intended.

"You've got that look," Ino said running her eyes over Sakura's flushed face.

"What look?" she took a sip of her water, her heart humming in her ears.

"The look of a woman in love."

She choked, nearly spitting water all over the counters. Did she mean a woman not loved? Because that would have been a whole lot more accurate.

"Don't deny that you do," her tone was light, not belying the seriousness of the subject.

Sakura threw her head back and laughed a laugh that sounded like chimes. She shook her head, "I think you're reading too much into nothing."

"Am I?" Ino countered.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she answered tersely. "You of all persons should know that the nature of our marriage does not allow for any such things."

Ino made a face and motioned for the bartender to come over, "You're already starting to sound like him."

"I've been hearing a lot of that lately," she admitted softly.

Ino's eyes flicked to Sakura again, and the pinkette felt heat rise in her face. One blonde brow rose quizzically, "So, have you given him a test ride of that sexy post-baby body of yours yet?" she laughed poking Sakura's boobs and commenting on how big they have grown.

"Wh-what?" she stuttered, there was a dark flush on her cheeks, those gem-like eyes widened and ringed with thick black lashes, staring at her friend like a startled fawn.

Pleased by the reaction it evoked, Ino smirked. "Are you two having sex?"

"I understood the first time!" she shrieked trying to drown out the sound of Ino's laughter by covering her ears.

"Don't be such a prude," she teased. "It's only a matter of time. Six weeks have already passed since you've had the twins which mean that operation sex is a go."

Operation sex?

She grunted, dropping her gaze to her wristwatch. "Look at the time; I've got to go…"

Ino caught her elbow, "It's only nine."

"Neji said to be back before eleven," She gave a cough as uncomfortable as the feeling in her chest. She was not about to indulge in such a conversation with anyone when she had, for the longest while, been failing to steer her thoughts from those very notions.

Ino studied her closely then flashed a knowing grin. "Not unless you've got some late night rendezvous with him that I don't know about."

"If by that you mean having him greet me at the door and sending me to my room then yes," she laughed self-consciously.

Her companion was flabbergasted; her face went under a myriad of emotions. Sakura thought Ino looked mildly insulted. "What sort of man gives his wife a curfew? And what kind of wife allows herself to be bullied like that?" She took another healthy swig from her cup and pulled Sakura back unto her stool, "Sit down forehead. You have the pussy, you make the rules."

"Neji is the pussy, he makes the rules," she corrected but stopped herself having realized that she had been drawn out. Her offhand words hung in the air awkwardly, and she wished she could take them back. Sakura swallowed hard, cursing her slip. "I don't appreciate being spoken to with the use of such foul language," she turned up her nose and scowled.

Ino laughed again, "Neji's has really gotten to you hasn't he? Since when are you offended by expletives? We used to use them all the time. Repeat after me…" she held Sakura's face. "Fu-uck….fu-fuck," she sounded each letter.

She slapped her hands away. "Will you quit it out!"

Ino dipped her head in a mockery bow of apology, "As you wish your highness." She was having a ball making fun of Sakura. "I don't deny that Neji is a pussy, but cut him some slacks, he's just being what he's not getting."

Bubbling with fury, Sakura really had to fight the urge to give her a swift kick. "Seriously Ino, what the fuck?" she was glaring her green eyes stormy and her cheeks stained with angry colour. How could one woman be so crude?

"You're already starting to get the hang of it." Ino took another drink from her cup. Squeezing Sakura's arm she teased, "There is no sense in banishing a word from your vocabulary because it's not applicable to your relationship."

Blushing with a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment, she furiously shook off Ino's arm. "You have some nerve!"

Ino blinked. "I know that Neji is a very thorough man. Didn't your contract make mention of sleeping arrangements?" she laughed again and Sakura looked up, startled.

She shook her head not in response but out of repulsion.

"And I'm not talking about the whole adjoining master bedroom arrangement." Her mouth set in a prim line, disapprovingly. "I can't believe that you sleep in separate rooms." She thought for a moment then asked carefully, "Is there by any chance a door connecting both rooms?"

She nodded with a blush, her breath escaped in a shuddering gasp. "So?"

Ino laughed, "Tonight you're going to knock on it and see what happens."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "I hope you're not suggesting what I'm thinking."

Her smile mirrored one of Naruto's cheesy grins, "If you want to put some spark in a relationship the best way to do it is through sex."

This time she did choke. All the blood drained from Sakura's face but the tip of her ears rivaled tomatoes.

"It's going to have to happen sooner or later. You'll be married to the guy for five years. The sooner you get used to the idea the better it is for both of you."

"Are you forgetting that we're talking about Neji here?" Sakura swallowed again for the umpteenth time tonight. "I couldn't touch him with a twelve feet pole even if I wanted you."

In one go Ino drowned the remaining contents of her cup. "Neji is a gentleman Sakura; he's not going make a go at you unless he's absolutely sure of your intentions," she shrugged her shoulders, toiling a strand of her hair around her fingers. "He just needs to be provoked."

"If it's provoking that he needs, I've done a great deal of it and it hasn't gotten us anywhere."

"I'm sure you know that I'm talking about the sexual kind of provocation."

Seduce Neji? Mission impossible.

"Our problem lies way beyond lack of physical contact," humiliation burned like a raging fire from her head through to her toes. Why was she discussing this with Ino of all people? The woman still clearly had a thing for her beloved.

When she said she wanted to catch up did you mean pry into Sakura's sex life—or lack thereof?

Ino waved her off, "All I'm hearing are excuses. Don't tell me you're scared?"

She sat forward, toying with her fingers, "Well we've only ever done it once, and—" she looked away shyly.

"Clearly it was good!" Ino nudged her, "No ordinary performance could have knocked you up so well and left you this whipped."

"I am not whipped," she scoffed, making air quotes. "And I was drunk then," she added with a frown.

Ino laughed briefly, it sounded so false to Sakura's ears. "Then I'll just have to get you drunk again."

"Not unless you plan on collecting my corpse in the morning," she ran her hand through her hair. The last thing she needed was Ino's ludicrous ideas about Neji's deprivation of intimacy correlating with his indifference towards her to start making sense. It would do nothing but intensify the awkward tension between them.

Get her drunk again? Ino wasn't just tipsy; she must be high as well.

The bartender came over and tapped on the counter. "What can I do for you ladies?"

As usual Ino was in search of fun, frivolity, and flirtation. "That depends entirely on you," she winked.

He smirked, "Be careful what you wish for little missy."

"Or who I wish for?" she purred, drinking in the sight of him.

Sakura face palmed herself. Oh dear, all Ino needed to do now was drool; she was already undressing him with her eyes! Had she not any decency? "Really Ino?"

In that moment the man's pink gaze fell on her. He placed the cup he was holding down on the counter and poured a generous amount of what appeared to be sake in it. "Happy holidays."

"I don't drink," she shook her head fiercely.

Ino flung her arm around Sakura's shoulders and giggled, "Quit being such a party pooper forehead. Put your morals aside because tonight you're_** my**_ bitch," there was an edge to her tone though her voice was just above a whisper.

The green eyes blazed amber, "I'll return the favour if you stop making me feel like I've got to phone the North Pole to let Santa know that he left behind his little ho ho hoe."

She had to nerve to smile as if she had just been complimented.

"You don't drink?" the bartender asked. "How often do you hear that in a bar?" he chuckled refilling Ino's glass with brandy.

"Not often I presume," the blonde laughed scowling at Sakura.

"Why?" he asked suddenly.

Sakura blinked, her voice betraying the straight face she was trying to keep, "Let's just say…I don't hold my liquor well," she gave a nervous laugh.

"That's not the only thing you don't hold well," Ino commented dryly.

She clenched her jaws, "What's that suppose to mean?"

Ino edged the cup towards Sakura, "You know exactly what I mean."

She took a calming deep breath; she wouldn't allow Ino to get to her. "It's just like you to suggest that I do something so demoralizing."

The hardness of the gaze from blue eagle eyes fringed with thick dark lashes speared Sakura like a helpless prey. "Since when is consummating a marriage considered demoralizing?"

The bartender gave Sakura a small twisted smile whilst listening to Ino's rant with a growing sense of incredulity and disbelief. "So you're a runaway bride?"

"It's not like that," Sakura told him self‐deprecatingly.

He gave her a challenging look.

She swallowed against the painful lump of anguish lodged in her throat, shaking her head. Something fierce was beginning to bloom inside her heart. If she behaved like a wife then would Neji treat her as such? Was Ino's non-sense beginning to make sense?

Of course not, so far he hadn't made any indication that he thought of her in such lights. They may have shared a few kisses before but on all occasions it was either because she couldn't keep her hands to herself or because Neji wanted to comfort her. The last thing she wanted to do was to make a fool out of herself by throwing herself at him—again—or make an even bigger fool out of herself by initiating a _pity fuck_ as Ino termed it.

The bartender arched one eyebrow in a silent but unmistakably mocking query, "Is he that appalling that you'd hide out in a bar?"

"The man's a fucking god. Even straight men want a piece of him," Ino told him fiercely. "She knows she does too."

Sakura felt like stomping her foot. Love and lust, if it's not thing it's the other. Now she had far more problems than what she came in with. It had always been a struggle to contain her sexual awareness of Neji, his very presence aroused her but now that Ino had inked this ideology in her head, the very thought of the damn man made her tingle all over. It increased it, enhanced it, made her want him with a suddenly very driven intensity that she had never experience before.

"So why are you here and not at home?" The dark timbre of his deep voice vibrated down her spine and her tummy clenched. Sensual imagery threatened to engulf her and she tensed as though she had been slapped. No matter how hard she policed her mind they continually forged a bold passage into her thoughts.

Sakura refused to answer him. She simply didn't dare.

"Nervous?"

She was thoroughly bemused at his conclusion. If she wasn't nervous before, she sure as hell was now. How will it be possible for her to look at Neji without having her mind venture down more intimate paths? She would always hear Ino's voice telling her _**"If you want to put some spark in a relationship the best way to do it is through sex."**_

"Nervous?" she echoed, snatching up the glass and taking a sip to disguise the fact that her hands were trembling. "Who's nervous?"

The bottom line was that as angry as she had been with Neji for the past month, every night she had fallen asleep aching for him and woken up in a worse state. She didn't like that. But the more he held back, the more determined she was to get closer to him. If she considered testing Ino's theory for even a nanosecond then she was even more of the hormonal teenager she thought of herself as. Was she suffering from some knee-jerk primal reaction to the love that had swell up and consumed her over night? She was becoming increasingly eager for the moment when cool reason was reinstated and she would find him more loathsome than desirable.

He felt nothing for her, he said so himself.

Suddenly all the bewildered misery and anger and hurt she had been holding back just broke free of restraint and overflowed. Another large mouthful of liquor warmed her throat as it went down, sending tendrils of alcohol curling through her limbs.

Clearly misreading Sakura's intention Ino patted her on the back lifting her glass towards the other woman's, "To what's to come."

Tilting her cup to her lips she rolled back the strong tasting liquor around her tongue. "To five long years…"

For a second or two Ino stiffened but made a conscious effort to appear relaxed. "You know that's not what I meant," she sighed, stretching her neck and rolling her shoulders. "But that's not what I called you about," she clenched her fingers around her glass. "We really need to talk."

Sakura forced the ripple of foreboding back down her spine. "I think the humiliating discussion we had about my private life had been talk enough," she gave a nervous laugh.

Ino sat perfectly still, steadying her gaze. "How is Neji?"

"I answered that question already. He's fine," she couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes. Why was Ino torturing herself with the knowledge that she no longer had him in her life? Was she trying to make Sakura feel guiltier than she already did for allowing herself to fall for the man?

"Has he said anything about Hiashi?" A small frown creased her brow, worry in her eyes.

So she was concerned? That made both of them.

Sakura touched her lips with her index finger to shush Ino. "We mustn't speak of he-who-must-not-be-named."

Ino set her glass down having caught on to what Sakura was implying. "I'm guessing that he hasn't opened his copy of the results yet."

She shook her head. "When it came in the mail a couple weeks ago he shoved it into the shredder then went on to sip his coffee like nothing happened."

"So he still doesn't know?"

"I think deep down he already does. I mean what are the odds that it would have come back saying otherwise?" She had seen the way his pain etched in every furrow, every facial muscle, felt it echo in her heart that morning at breakfast when he stared down at the envelope in his hand. He knew.

"How could Hiashi have kept something like this away from him?" Ino fumed, she had learned of the results from Hanabi and told Sakura who couldn't help but feel as like she betrayed Neji's trust by prying in something that he warned her to stay out of.

"I don't think he knew, he was just as surprised as Neji."

"He was guilt-stricken, there's a difference," the flesh under her jaw warmed with angry colour. "What sort of man shacks up with his brother's woman?"

Sakura stared down at her almost empty glass, "I honestly don't know what to think. But we can't jump to conclusion without having heard the story straight from the horse's mouth."

"What's to stop him from feeding us a bunch of lies to make himself not look at fault?"

True, it was no secret that Hiashi was a master of deceit.

"Well Neji exist today and that's all that matter, whether it was through disloyalty or some other complications it is of little relevance," she sure hoped that it didn't appear as if she was siding with Hiashi.

Ino gave a gasp of shocked disbelief, "Wow, only one drink and you're already drunk," she said dryly. "Put yourself in Neji's shoes—"

Sakura cut her off, "—that I can't do. But I can speak for myself and I think we are too quick to point fingers. What about Neji's mother?"

"May her cheating soul rest in peace," Ino bowed her head in forged homage.

"I mean, shouldn't she be held liable for this mess as well?"

"Just think," Ino said, "If it wasn't for you, all of this wouldn't have come out in the opening."

"That's true..." Sakura looked up seemingly in deep, "But what I'd really like to know is what business Hiashi's blood samples had with the twins' DNA testing? The mix up is a bit uncanny."

Ino shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "That's actually what I want to talk to you about. You've got to convince Neji to speak with his uncle."

"He doesn't listen to me as it is, if I bring up his uncle…" she corrected herself, "…his father, then he'll tune me out completely."

Ino was quiet for several seconds then her expression became serious. "Hiashi's blood samples got mixed up with the twins' because both groups of samples were just returning from the hematology lab."

She nodded, "Yes, I am aware that it is now standard procedure for babies to have their blood samples tested for sickle cell and other blood related irregularities." For some reason she found herself holding her breath. She had become so accustomed to the bullshit life kept throwing at her that she knew when to brace herself for storm. "But that still doesn't explain how Hiashi fit into any of this."

"Hiashi has leukemia, Sakura," Ino blurted out. "That's why the samples were mixed up, he had been undergoing treatment and the hematology department needed to monitor his progress. The test tubes must have been switched before they were taken to what should have been their respective labs."

Dismay and sympathy flooded her, but then the significance of Ino's request began to dawn on her. Talk to Neji. This was what she was talking about from the very beginning, reality's cruel knack for torment.

"It was confirmed a few days ago," Ino told her softly. "My guess is that he hadn't tried to reach Neji because it was clear that he doesn't want to be reached and…" she looked at Sakura. "…Hiashi didn't want Neji to think he was using his illness as an excuse to talk to him."

Sakura was a little shell-shocked. Hiashi has cancer? It wasn't what she expected but it was a cliff-hanger nonetheless. "No matter how dire the situation between them, I'm sure that Neji would want to know."

"Of course he would, not just because of that," Ino told her a matter-of-factly. "But because leukemia is hereditary and Hiashi is his father."

Hereditary as in inherited genetically? Oh fuck.

Sakura needn't hear more, it was like another rock added to the heavy weight of her heart. Who knew reality would travel to such lengths just to punish her for a sin she committed ten months ago? It seemed that the only unexercised tragedy to grace the pages of the story of her life was character's death and she didn't want to ponder too much on the possibility, least she gave the puppeteer the wrong idea.

_We are our own authors_? Fuck Naruto and his logics, she wouldn't have written something as fucked up as this shit.

**A/N: Another unpleasant bomb? I'm sorry, even I got severely depressed after rereading this disappointing chapter. **

**Believe it or not, English is not my first language so I always worry about grammar and expression whenever I upload anything. My writing needs more than just improvement before I can say I've actually got talent. Frankly, I kinda suck! **

**Neji's feelings towards Sakura, love or obligation? Please Review to let me know what you think because at times I'm not certain myself.**

**All in favour of calling it quits say "I"**

**I.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**A/N: This story is still rated M for swearing and all the other bullshit.**

* * *

><p>Neji closed his eyes and felt the chill seeping through his blood. Jiro gave a shuddering breath and a cough, his lavender eyes glowing like moon against his pale skin.<p>

"It's okay," he cooed, but even as he did, Neji's entire body trembled, no matter how many times he saw it happen, he would never get used to his son's condition. "It's okay," he said with conviction he did not feel, for this was something completely outside his domain and beyond his control. But his statement was intended to comfort the baby, not simply to ease his own, troubled thoughts.

He felt the rapid-fire of Jiro's little heart against his palm when he touched it and feeling so deep, so pure, so all encompassing, filled him to the point that he couldn't draw a breath, couldn't contain it.

The child's small palm tightened around his finger. He coughed again. This time it was a rack of lungs too full to hold breath. And it went on and on until his little body shook with it.

A worried frown creased Neji handsome forehead. The boy simply refused to take the medicine; he kept pushing the syringe away with his tongue.

"Come on, Jiro," he pled impatiently. "It may taste awful but—" Neji stopped, sniffed the air, then turned an outraged look at Taro. "Did you?" He sniffed again. "You did, didn't you? And to think, I just changed that diaper."

The Hyuuga wasn't just on a role with the number of diapers he had to change in one night; he was on a rugged edge as well. Whose bright idea was it to change the nannies' working hours to eight a day instead of having them on site 24/7? Oh yeah, that's right, the same woman who was out—

His first glance at the clock caused a painful grimace. —at 1:45 a.m. in the morning!

A shaft of annoyance speared through him. He took a calming breath, willing cool rationale to subside the headache the realization had initiated. Perhaps he had overstepped in giving Sakura an eleven o'clock curfew and she was merely rebelling. But damn it, the message couldn't get any clearer after 1:45 a.m. in the morning.

Staring down into the crib where he laid both boys for convenience sake, Neji shoved both hands through his hair. "Must you always find it necessary to pull such stunts when I'm around?" he asked, diverting his wrath on the adorable little creature emitting the offending smell.

The brat had the nerve to gurgle.

A vein pulse on the side of his shaking head as he wrinkled his nose, scrubbed one hand across his face and scowled down into the crib, "It's no wonder your brother's asthma has been bothering him, you smell absolutely horrid." He took a breath and reached into the crib, into the tiny outstretched arms of Taro.

Soon enough the sound of Velcro straps tearing on the disposable diaper and Neji's astonished shriek filled the room. "Save the nasty surprises for your mother, will you?"

Taro gave him one of those rare smiles. It seemed like a promise.

"She deserves it far more than I do, wouldn't you agree?" He sat down with the tot in his arms and watched in amazement as his little lips latched onto his bottle greedily.

In his crib, Jiro hiccupped, screwed up his little face and started to cry. "Of course I expected you to object, you always side with her," Neji chuckled, burying his face in the chestnut silk of Taro's hair and inhaling the sweetness of his son's scent. His heart trembling with the totality of emotions he felt for the twins.

In all honesty, he had never expected to fall so helplessly in love with children who had stir up so much controversy in the nine months prior to their birth. But now, just looking at them, he knew his world had been completed in a way he had never imagined. They had their tiny palms wrapped around his heart so much so that he couldn't imagine life if they were to ever be separated. The boys were the two pieces that made his heart, and Sakura the glue that held together his soul, his world. So what then, would become of him, when his arrangement with her became terminated?

Neji sighed, there was simply too much on his mind to think about that right now. He had five long years ahead of him to ponder on possible solutions to his Sakura problem. He'd much rather revel in all things that were now the centre of his universe, its joys and wonders—the play, the feeding and bath time with his sons. But he could hardly enjoy the comfort of his boys tonight because his mind was preoccupied with unease about the whereabouts of his wife.

She was out with Ino Yamanaka, and that fact alone, was reason enough to be concerned. He just hoped that wherever they were, Sakura refrained from dipping her spoon into whatever pot of mischief Ino would be cooking up for the night. The last thing he wanted to do was have to bail them both out from prison.

"It doesn't seem like either one of us is going to get much sleep tonight until that woman comes home," Neji said, setting Taro on his shoulder and patting his back.

As if in agreement, Taro's stomach suddenly tightened then heaved. Something lukewarm and moist soaked through Neji's shirt to grace the flesh of his shoulder. In truth, he should have cringed, it was disgusting. He should have shrieked, should have fumed, this was his favourite shirt. But like the fool that he was, he grinned. How many Hyuuga men could say that they had been puked on by their child?

Probably none.

In Hyuuga households babies were raised by nannies. Hyuuga men were too supercilious to be domesticated and the wives were often too superficial to be bothered with trivial things such breastfeeding and changing diapers. Neji couldn't help but pity them. They've robbed themselves of the true joys of parenthood.

As a child he never had the level of closeness with his own father that would have only resulted from situations similar to the above. Sure they had a great relationship, he asked and daddy granted. It was as simple and as complex as that. There is no doubt in his mind that he was loved, but was he ever understood?

Good heavens, _**the**_ Neji Hyuuga getting all sentimental over baby vomit is unheard of! Surely his Hyuuga macho must be rebelling against this!

With some amount of effort, he managed to put the squirming child back into his crib. "What did I tell you about those unpleasant little stunts?" he grimaced at Taro as he cleaned the muck off his shirt. It was a course of action taken in vain for Jiro performed a similar feat fifteen minutes later, after having drooled all over his father's face first.

"I will remember that the next time I give you a bath, you hydrophobic little twit," he threatened jokingly.

In response Jiro seemed to grin, revealing his gum and deep dimples identical to Sakura's.

It was the only physical attribute linking the twins to her. They had his dark hair, his fine structured face, his nose, his ears and his eyes though their lilac orbs at times appears to be a pale milky green. It may not have been as big a genetic mishap as their mother's hair colour, but Neji had thought it to be defective enough to call up an urgent appointment with their pediatrician the first time he witnessed the change. According to the optician, it was yet another rare medical occurrence but would cause no ill to the boys' vision.

Jiro's palm closed in around Neji's index finger and as usual, the first thing he thought to do with anything, was to put it in his mouth. "My finger is not a pacifier," he shook his head and laughed while the baby slobbered all over his finger—liquid and warm like the state of his heart.

Jiro beamed at Neji, his wide orbs shining as though he sensed the pride and joy he brought his daddy.

It tore strips away from his heart. This feel of being needed and needing, of being loved and loving was on a more profound level than anything he had ever felt before. His house was a home—a place of solace, where he was wanted and allowed to want. But it only existed because of a certain pink haired lass and for that, he was resentfully grateful. He wished not to be anymore indebt to her than he already was for turning her world upside down so he could set his upright.

He had done nothing but bullied her into doing his biddings from the very beginning, threatened her into a marriage and then limited her freedom as an individual down to a contract. Maybe it was just her way of coping with the reality of their situation, but convincing herself that she was in love with him seemed too desperate a measure. She had already given him children to love and to be loved by, to throw herself in the mix was to be foolishly generous.

Yet no satisfaction was derived from hearing those three torrid little words. They had sucked the sweet from the passion and left him bitter with guilt. It had been the most frightening and confusing admission in the entire universe, one that had knocked the wind out of his lungs the moment it escaped her lips.

He had struggled for the words that never came, and until this day he hasn't been able to figure out where his tongue had gone in that instant. How in the world she came by the notion that she was in love with him was a complete mystery to the Hyuuga. She must have known that this pull she thought he had on her senses would only serve to break her—like a moth drawn to the light that would ultimately destroy it.

This apparent _love_ she haboured for him made absolutely no sense, yet she was certain of its existence. Contrary to he, who held cogent views on the matter but struggled with surety of what it was that he truly felt. It was like being caught in an endless whirlpool of his own turbulent emotions, but drowning was prolonged.

By right she should loathe him for exploiting her feelings the way he did, to the point of converting the unyielding female she had once been into his personal pushover. He weighed her heart against her mind, making her abandon rationality and act on her emotions instead. It wasn't something he was particularly proud of doing but he hardly saw how love could fit into their equation. It defiled every law of logic there was.

Jiro's brows suddenly came together as if to ask his daddy, if he'd ever heard of such an inconceivable concept as a logical love.

But in truth, Sakura had given him more reasons to appreciate her, than he had given her grounds to resent him. He came with a high price which had cost the poor girl her job, her family and friends. Regardless of that, she supported him, trusted him, nursed his pride, entertained his ego and dealt with the wrath of his uncle at her own expense. So why was their situation backwards? Why wasn't it he who was bleeding love after she sold herself short so that he wouldn't make a loss?

He knew the answer.

Simply returning her affections wouldn't be enough, his love alone wouldn't be able to compensate for what it had cost.

"Don't look at me like that," Neji grated finally settling the wriggling and reluctant baby into his crib.

Being the spoilt brat that he was Jiro immediately started off with a sob, then upped his volume to a wail.

"I'm going downstairs to heat up your bottle," he said as if it were any consolation, feeling ridiculous afterwards.

If it was possible the child screamed louder.

Overwhelmed, Neji went to fetch one of the colourful rattles Ino had bought the twins. They were battery operated with flashing lights and music. Jiro who was a fan of noisy toys fell in silent fascination after a few seconds to Neji's relief but Taro began howling when the rattle was switched on.

Neji gritted his teeth and leant forward to switch off the wretched toy. "You're giving me a headache," he said in exasperation. "I'm leaving," he decided, feeling the tension starting to clamp round his head and shoulders like a steel vice.

Content with dribbling all over his rattle handle Jiro didn't seem to pay Neji much attention. However, dark and brooding as always, Taro peered up at him from his crib with an accusing glare. In his annoyance his chubby cheeks looked even chubbier and his small hand seemed to tighten around the foot of the teddy bear stationed in his bed.

"I'm sorry that I startled you," Neji held up his hands in a surrendering gesture.

Taro's features relaxed, but he didn't look pleased. It was not until Neji's intent gaze left his little face that the boy gave a burbling sound and grinned.

He shook his head chuckling, "You're just like your mother."

OoOoOoOo

Neji glanced abstractedly across the large expanse of his front yard through the kitchen window, barely able to see much of it. He leaned against the counter with a steamy hot mug of coffee in his hands while he waited for the boys' bottles to heat up. As bitter as his espresso was, it paled in comparison to his mood which later turned sour as Ino's Mercedes pulled up into his driveway at 2:15 a.m. its headlights flaring in the pitch blackness of the starless night.

On the monitors set up in the kitchen which showed surveillance footage of the entire front yard, he watched as the driver descended from the vehicle, something corrosive burning in his gut when Neji recognized the figure to be male.

He was still struggling with himself to justify his intense and uncharacteristic reaction to the fact that Sakura stayed out so late. Explaining the sense of aloneness and the emptiness of the house without her was something for which he could not find any logical explanation. Why on earth should the absence of a woman who he could barely even get along with affect him to such an extent that he was almost driven to go in pursuit on her?

It infuriated him to have awoken and not see any signs of her return. It infuriated him even more to admit to his own reaction of her absence. And it infuriated him most of all to have to endure his own inner sense of desolation and emptiness of the mansion without her. It was neither logical nor acceptable, yet it challenged everything he believed about himself.

But it was the enormity of what it might mean that truly bothered him.

Annoyed at the shift his thoughts had taken he poured the remainder of his coffee down the sink and watched keenly as the man scrambled to the other side to open the door for an emerging stiletto adorned feet which later materialized into a full-sized, flushed and wild-eyed Sakura.

He noted that there was a slight stagger in her stride as the man wrapped his arm around her waist and steered her towards the front door. The Hyuuga felt icy cold went through him as the realization of her drunken state hollowed out on him.

Behind the frozen mask of his face, as if a searing flame had scorched the ice in his mind, dissolving the chains and padlocks, the bars and bolts he had put around the past. It was like a dam being breached, memory came drowning in. Unbearable, agonizing memory, filling every working cell of his brain. The past, pouring through his head like molten lead…. This was exactly how it had all started out, with an unsuspecting samaritan helping out the damsel in distress. And then a few months later it was the damsel who caused all of _**his**_ distress.

Try as he might, not to convict or undermine Sakura's character because of the past, with catalyst such as his mother's betrayal of his father and Temari's role in Hiashi's scheme, Neji wasn't entirely sure that women could be trusted. Regardless he turned away from the monitor knowing damn well that Sakura would never try anything that would jeopardize her joint custody of the twins, drunk or not, she understood the terms of their contract. She better had.

Neji switched off the monitor, angry adrenaline coursing through his veins. With a sharp, decisive intake of breath, he stuffed the mug into the dishwasher, fetched the heated bottles and would have been on his way upstairs except a loud slam echoed from around the corner of the kitchen causing chaotic commotion to vibrate throughout the house.

Neji stormed towards the entrance hall. Emotion kicked in him, intense, hard. It should have been anger but it was wasn't the predominant emotion. Aside from relief he didn't know what other emotion it could be. He knew only that it came with a leap in his veins that was like a tongue of scorching wind on a forest fire.

"Would you watch where you're going?" Sakura scowled at the coat rack that she collided with by the door, as it fell to the floor she added, "What an unstable guy, he really should eat more."

The male chuckled, looking around in awe, "This is quite an impressive home. Do you live here alone?"

"Technically…yes. In reality…no," her words slurred, but the meaning behind it was all too clear to their silent spectator who couldn't help but feel like an iron mallet fell on his chest.

The man arched a brow, "I'm not entirely sure that makes sense, but whatever floats your boat."

Sakura's eyes suddenly grew wide as though an idea struck, "Boat?" she said to herself softly then looked up, "That's right, the twins love boats, you should meet them," she tugged the man's arm.

"Twins?" he asked quizzically.

It was then that Neji allowed his presence to be known. "Can I help you?"

The man shook off the initial surge of fright, "By any chance does she belong to you?" a sunny smile wreathed his animated features though he was clearly wondering where Neji had came from and why he was staring so fixedly at him.

"I believe she does," he answered with cutting cool, stepping even further into their line of vision.

Sakura glanced up at him and then visibly stiffened, forewarned by the ice chill of his snowy gaze and the forbidding tension of his lean, powerful face that she was in trouble. Hot colour flooded her pale cheeks as her hand rose to her throat, where she felt her heart had migrated.

The silence that followed was alive with the kind of danger that brought up the small hairs on the back of her neck. Sakura found that despite the oppressive atmosphere caused by it she didn't feel brave enough to break it.

"I'm Inuzuka Kiba," the man suddenly introduced himself with an outstretched arm. When he realized that he would get neither an introduction nor a handshake Kiba withdrew his hand and scratched the back of his head. "By any chance does the blonde in the backseat belong to you as well?" he smirked.

"Her address is on the navigation system," Neji told him almost dismissively. For some reason it took great effort to be polite to the man though he had brought home the one thing that was preventing him from sleeping.

Kiba laughed, "I wish I had thought about that, they had me driving to different bars claiming that they live there."

"Is that so?" Neji sent his wife a disapproving glare then turning his attention swiftly back to their most unwelcomed guest, he muttered a quote of gratitude in the most gracefully impolite manner and asked that Kiba saw himself out.

It wasn't the intimacy _(if you can even call it that)_ that Neji witnessed between Sakura and this Kiba character that affected him. Rather it was his anger at her behavior and the effect it might have on his own reputation. _**That**_was the cause of his anger. It had to be…for it seemed perfectly logical.

With a bright smile that refused to betray an ounce of nervous tension, Kiba straightened himself; "Well I guess I should be going…" he spun on his heels almost robotically and left.

It wasn't until the door closed behind Kiba that Sakura had the courage to break the crushing silence Neji had imposed. "There was no need to be rude," she said, her tone without venom owing to the fact that when their eyes locked her heart jolted uneasily in her ribs.

The look Neji slanted her was as steely sharp as a new blade. Even in her drunken state she could sense that a storm was brewing as though she had seen the black clouds building up and growing ominously on the horizon.

"Do you know what time of the night it is?" His voice was like sheets of lightening slicing through the stifling silence.

"No, but I think your watch might," she tried to humor him, but Neji was never one to take to jokes.

"Did I hear you right? Were you about to invite a stranger up into my sons' room?" He challenged coldly. Watching her face was like watching a slideshow of emotions. He realized that he was clenching his fists and he slowly breathed out, unclenched them, and waited for her to explain herself.

Shaking her head, she made for the stairs—only he got there ahead of her, barring her way with his body so that she virtually ran full-tilt into him. She could feel the heat of his breath on her skin and the bite of his fingers into her upper arms. Her only means of escape was to close her eyes and try desperately to shut down her heightened drunk senses.

"Our sons," she corrected quietly.

"The very thought of your children should have reminded you of the potency of strange men and yourself when under the influence of alcohol."

She gaped. What he was insinuating was as insulting as it was incorrect, she thought angrily. "I would never do that," Sakura jabbed her index finger in his chest glaring up at him. Her eyes holding in them an expression that made his stomach turn over… "Never…" she repeated.

His mouth twisted, revulsion involuntarily curled in him, "The twins are living proof that you have."

She flushed guiltily, the memory stabbing through her light head. "But I was three times this drunk and you were five times as hot," she indicated with her fingers almost stumbling over her own feet to get pass him. But it was to no avail.

He caught and steadied her before him, "I'll make you a cup of tea," he gave a rasp of irritation.

"Tea sounds good," she yawned, falling forward to rest her head against his chest. He felt a kick in his throat and felt the thug of her heart corresponding with the thump of his own. "Tea sounds like déjà vu," she mumbled, trembling against him, like the fragile petal of a flower being blown by a very slight breeze.

Recollection of that fated night stung at him, foaming his blood to white hot making him want to damn her and yet protect her at the same time.

As angry as he was with her he couldn't help the light chuckle that escaped him. "You always find the most appropriate time to bring up the most inappropriate memories," he said, smoothing her windblown hair with his hand and felt simultaneously, as though she thought it was an invitation, her arms surrounding him like a prize.

He flinched, her touch like a line of fierce fame sweeping down an arid hillside, scorching everything in its wake with instant combustion. Every sinful, weak skin-cell he possessed was thrumming like a car engine being revved. It took a great deal of control not to squeamishly peel her petite frame away from his. Not in repulsion of her, but himself.

His brain simply refused to register any of the warnings his memories were throwing at him. It was like something strange, weirdly exciting and entirely unexpected had been allowed to rise to the surface.

It was unacceptable.

"What are you doing?"

"Even though you don't want me to be, I'll always be here for you," she vowed softly.

The cords of his throat contract, and could only stand, motionless. Something shot through him. A jumble, a tangle. Inconsistent and confused. Her earnestness was so uncalled for, so out of the blue, that it made something uncoil which seemed to scour him out from the inside.

Why must she talk like that?

A word came from his lips, low, and enunciated with obvious difficulty, "Sakura?"

It was a single word, but it was so much more than credited.

"You smell nice, what are you wearing?" she sighed against his chest, his solid heartbeat beating out a rhythm that beckoned to her.

"Baby puke, courtesy of Taro and Jiro, you like?" He said, trying to force down the ache that somehow managed to surface past his contempt.

She shot up so fast, her head almost clashed with his chin. "I think I will have that cup of tea now," she suggested with a frown then staggered towards the direction of the kitchen, holding onto whatever she could for support.

When their contact broke he released the breath he had unmindfully been holding and a wave of relief washed over him. He needed to get it together; he was reacting like a hormone-driven teenager. "That's the most responsible decision I think I've ever seen you made, drunk or sober," He said more to himself as he fell in step with her.

Once in the kitchen she fiddled about spilling coffee beans unto the counter rather than into the grinder.

"Why does it keep dodging the beans?" she growled then demanded with a drunken pout, "Make it stop!"

"I'll do that," he offered instantly. But she made no attempt to make space for him. "Just how much have you had to drink?" he asked, his pale eyes searching over her rapidly. For just the most fleeting second he thought he saw apprehension in those emerald orbs of hers. Then it had gone.

For a moment she felt silent then scoffed, "Apparently not enough."

Without relinquishing her gaze, he reached into the cupboard to fetch a mug. His eyes held hers—held them as if he were reaching for them from a very, very long way away. Across a divide that engulfed them like a bottomless chasm. Emotion was huge inside him, overwhelming him in its enormity. "Enough for what?" he barely managed to ask.

Her eyes flickered, as if she were seeking refuge.

With a careless flick of his finger he touched her cheek and she gazed up at him. "What is it?" he insisted, a little thrown off by her behaviour—a little thrown off by his own behaviour.

"Nothing."

Her posture seemed relaxed, but it was the way her head was tilted, the way she watched him from beneath those long lashes that made him feel uneasy. The sudden seriousness in her eyes, that tinge of confusion, of dismay, put every nerve in his body on the edge.

"What is it?" he asked again, in the same low intense voice.

"Nothing."

Why did women do that? Neji thought, suppressing the irritation that had sliced through him at her response. Why do they start to say bizarre things and when ask to clarify, say 'nothing' in that tone?

"What is it?" he demanded this time, a few decibels up.

She averted her eyes, but the tension and uncertainty in their green depths were obvious. There was a long pause. Then finally, she answered him. Slowly, as if every word were dragged from her, as if she was forcing herself to speak, "Your father has cancer."

For a long moment, there was complete silence. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.

The word 'father' repeated itself in his head. With connotations that made his breath tighter.

Neji went stone still, made no move at all, even to breathe. His heart might have stopped. Inside, he was nailing something down, very hard, very instant. He stared ahead as if in a trance. Then slowly shook his head as if to exit it. His vacant gaze panned Sakura, trying to direct every ounce of his mental focus on what he would say next.

But instead he laughed, it was a laugh edged with anger and frustration among other things, things that he did not want to hold up for analysis. "My father had cancer…" he emphasized the word _'had'_ with a glint of sadness shadowing his eyes.

She stared at him with a look of dazed disbelief but sensed anger simmering under his calm exterior.

"You've had too much to drink," he said dismissively, in that patronizing tone she had gotten so accustomed to being addressed with. "My father is dead."

"No," she said firmly, "Hiashi is your father, Neji."

As the rich fragrance of the coffee beans struck him, so did a wave of annoyance. Hiashi was a touchy topic that wasn't up for discussion. "I already said that we wouldn't have this conversation," he bristled. "Not now. Not when you're sober. Not ever," he said finally.

Sakura's eyes snared him and he saw something dim in them, "But you already knew, didn't you?" she taunted.

He went rigid with chagrin and disapproval then he exploded, causing Sakura to jump almost knocking over the mug he had placed in front of her. "Enough! I don't care if he's my mother," he told her point blankly, anger flashing across his face. "I still wouldn't give a fuck."

"Come on," she drawled in an inebriated timbre. "You don't mean that."

Neji thrust a hand into his pocket and strode to the window, a little surprised at his reaction. But his blood ran stone cold at the mere mention of the man's name. It ran even colder with the knowledge of the confirmed DNA results. Like he had said, Hiashi cheated his father out of many things and he just couldn't accept that he was one of them. He knew he couldn't change the truth but like the pole of a magnet separated from its opposite, his heart kept reliving the cause of its agony, its complete and absolute fracture.

That part of his life that he had treasured never existed. So it could never come back. Sound reasoning told him that if he became bitter about it, it would only make the pain that tore at him, by day and by night, even worse. After all, he didn't know the full story—or any of the story, for that matter. So who was he to blame his uncle when he wasn't aware of the circumstances leading to his birth?

Yet, even as the exonerating words formed in his mind, another part of him let other thoughts slip through. Harsher words. Without exoneration.

Hiashi should have told you the truth. He shouldn't have slept with his mother. He should have told his brother the truth instead of having him blame himself for his beloved's death.

And back again came yet further thoughts, neither exonerating nor condemning but resigned. Unflinchingly facing up to truths he didn't want to face up to, they crept their way into his consciousness, uninvited but unstoppable—just as the announcement of his paternity had crept upon him at the most vulnerable moment in his life.

He was not just the first Hyuuga bastard child he had been accused him of being. He was the abominable seed of his uncle that hadn't been claimed.

He was never wanted.

"Father or not, he raised you," Sakura persisted. "You may have turned out a little arrogant and spoilt, but that's something to be grateful for," she wagged her fingers at him somehow almost losing her balance and nearly falling off the chair.

He shut his eyes as if to shut out her words, which were not taunting or bitter but simply truthful—however unpalatable the truth.

Cancer was the least the heavens could do to make right all the years his father spent thinking he had done wrong, Neji thought grimly. Hiashi deserved whatever came his way.

His face shuttered, as if protecting himself from the unbearable truth, but a second later he opened his eyes again. He looked at Sakura who had once been just the woman carrying his twins, who could now be more that he would ever care to admit. She of all people should share the same sentiments. Circumstances aside, she was the mother of his children and should not have been subjected to such degradation and disregard from his uncle.

The aggression seemed to go out of him, and it was with supernaturally calm, level gaze resting on her that he spoke, "I'll be grateful once he's out of our lives."

Something seared in her face. Her chin lifted, "You'll come to regret that."

He swallowed against the sharp knife at the back of his throat. His brows snapped together, face darkening and muttered something barely above a whisper before moving to the cupboard. "I've lived with more than a few regrets, I'll survive another," he said simply, his hand closing like a steel voice around a glass bottle. Given what it was, it didn't going to go unnoticed by his wife.

She took a heavy breath, laying her hand flat on the surface of the table. "I don't understand you." There was incomprehension in her voice.

He poured himself a shot but instead of drinking it, instead of taking refuge in the sharp, sedating liquid, with a curse, a howl of pain almost, he hurled the glass into the wall, watching the heavy crystal crack and splinter, not even blinking. "You were never meant to—" A hardness entered his voice that he hadn't registered, his eyes stabbing like knives.

The savagery in his tone would have frightened her hadn't she been under the influence.

"—the same as I was never meant to understand your lack of dignity when it came to defending a man who, all but threw a dollar bill in your face for sleeping with his nephew."

But her resolve didn't last very long, his words fell like stone in the sinking shards of her drunken heart. The words flowed over her and into her, and as she heard them, the lightness of her body seemed to encumber until she sobbed. "His son," she corrected, then asked, "Is that what you think of me as well?"

Anguish slashed at him as did her words.

"No. I'm sorry," he muttered in apology, aware that the ravaged hurt on her face must now be reflected on his own. He didn't like going roughshod on her if she didn't deserve it. "You should drink the coffee before it goes cold," he suggested gruffly, before pouring himself yet another measure of whisky.

He was feeling so incredibly raw and exposed that he had to school his features and restrain himself from downing it in one go.

Why did she have to go and bring up Hiashi? And why should he care that the man had cancer? Death wasn't partial; at his age it was only a matter of time before he kicked the bucket. But that couldn't be the real reason Sakura had gone out drinking, could it? She hated elder just as much as he did.

He took a brooding mouthful, feeling its fire burn down his throat. "Why have you been drinking?" he asked on a more serious note.

She fell silent again, watching him from above the rim of her mug as she pretended to drink the coffee. Then she burst into a hysterical giggle. "Trust me; you're better off not knowing," she slammed her mug down on the table, spilling its content.

A little intrigued, he settled beside her. Sliding an empty glass before her, he asked again. "Why have you been drinking?"

She slanted him a suspicious look. "I may not be able to walk in a straight line but I'm not drunk enough to miss a bribe."

He smirked and filled her glass. In that moment her back stiffened and she looked away from him. Raising the glass to her lips, she retorted with a sardonic bite, "Why do you think?"

There were a number of reasons; school could be stressing her out, the twins could be stressing her out heck, he could be stressing her out. They all were plausible reasons.

And something had been bothering her ever since they moved in together. Now that the opportunity presented itself to figure out what is was, he was not going to make it go to waste. Even if the opportunity seemed somewhat exploitive, he had to find out.

They've never been close per se but her profession of love had driven an ocean between them. And for the love of him, Neji couldn't understand why, it was certainly not of his doing. "Was it something that I said?"

Or never said?

She had played the role he had crafted out for her so well, that he at times got a little confused and thought about her as a husband were to his wife. But he couldn't shake the resentment on his part, the protectiveness with which he had to force himself to accept what they had as merely pretence. He couldn't allow himself to fall irrevocably into what she claimed she felt for him during the process, he reasoned wretchedly. It didn't fall in alignment with anything stated in their contract.

"Why does everything have to be about you?" The words were harsh as she said it, and she paused. When she began again, her voice was controlled. "No it wasn't something you said." Her gaze riveted in the glass before her, her hand clasped around it with more force than necessary.

"Then what is it?" he reached across the table to her, touching her hand, and felt her flinch before the rigid control dropped into place again and her hand was still under his.

"Nothing."

There she goes again, Neji thought exasperatedly, releasing her in an ill-tempered huff to drain the last of his whisky and poured himself another glass. He sucked in his breath and said with sincerity, "I'm sorry for whatever I did—"

"Or didn't do…" she muttered.

"—clearly it was horrible enough to send you drinking. But…" he thought for a moment, reflecting on what she said. "What do you mean?"

Her face tipped but now a tear gathered at the corner of her eye and trickled down her nose. "Do you find me appalling?"

"No," the word fell from his lips like a piano crashing from a seven story building. "No," he repeated as though he thought she hadn't heard him.

The tear slipped off the rest of the way off her chin and was quickly followed by another. "Then why do you treat me that way?"

His heart stuttered and took a painful leap in his chest that stole his breath. He went still as her words confirmed what he feared, quiet and sincere. His throat tightened, so tight it sent a wave of panic through his body. Afraid that he'd completely lose his composure, he attempted to leave his chair.

But Sakura caught his hand, "I love you, but I don't want to."

He stared at her, half expecting to see anger but saw grim determination. He stared at her, scarcely able to breathe, for fear that he would disturb the strange kind of magic her words of love had brought glimmering into the atmosphere once more. A fresh surge of pain nearly paralyzed him. Her love…he wanted it yet feared it so much that it baffled him.

"And you give me so many reasons not to…" she swallowed and shook her head helplessly as the tears fell, "…but I can't."

Those words, they set off another wave of panic. His chest ached so badly at the thought that she would allow his lack of faith in love to ruin hers. And before he could stop himself he asked as though it were an accusation, "How could you love me?"

"Ask me when I'm sober, I guarantee that I still won't have the answer to that."

He reached a tentative hand to brush away the moisture on her cheek. "I'm sorry that you feel that way," he said simply, a note surprise deepening his voice as her emerald eyes burned into him.

How strange, he thought when she kissed the back of his hand, that there should be so much feeling there. That he should feel her lips, pressing warm against his flesh and the softness of her skin, not just in his hand but within his chest.

"I'm not sorry that I love you," she whispered with a light chortle, but then her face changed, "I'm sorry that you can't see it."

Except that he did see it. He felt it, had known it was there all along.

In that instant he pulled her to her feet, cupping her face tenderly within the palms of his hands. Just as she had offered him her heart, she had carved a place in his own a long time ago, a place so deep that no force on earth could ever remove her from it.

Not tradition.

Not Hiashi.

Not Sakura herself.

Not even his own loathing for things that spurred vulnerability.

He looked down at her for a long moment, his face filled with wild, unexpressed emotion, a kind of exultation. "Stop talking," he demanded rawly then lowered his head, the instant his mouth touched the lush softness of hers, he remembered how he felt that night ages ago. The sudden primitive need that had overwhelmingly swept him into a series of stormy reaction was back.

Instead of teasing, he forced her willing lips apart with the hungry driving pressure of his own.

That single kiss had an unholy pulling power. Neji bargained with himself to continue it. One second, just one second more, he thought to himself, hauling her up against him, his hands weaving across her slender back. He had never dreamt that hearing three little words could send his temperature shooting from zero to overload. But he finally understood the very basic reason why he had fallen into bed with her the first time.

Words.

She had a way with them, a way that burned him up like a lightning strike, awakened a hunger that overwhelmed his defenses. "We've both been drinking, we shouldn't do this," he whispered, putting a tantalizing inch between their lips.

He had to make himself immune to her. He had to see that she was drunk and unable to consent to the ill-felt violent feelings the alcohol was releasing. But how could he make himself immune when he too shared similar sentiments?

"I can't do this."

Then a solution came to him, clear and simple logic.

He was after all he was doctor's son—nephew—he corrected his thoughts. He knew that immunity was achieved through exposure. If one exposed oneself to an infection, one gains immunity to it. If it worked with disease, then perhaps it would work with the lethal vulnerability to Sakura that he was infected with.

He felt resolution fill him as the tension left his system. He knew what he must do to desensitize himself to her—to bring her back down to the level she belonged —someone who never had a disastrous impact on him.

He knew.

Though having cup of tea and sleeping it off could have worked as well, probably would have been more effective.

Green eyes fringed by heavy black lashes held him fast, "Why not? You're my husband." Her eyes lit up, giving her an extraordinary appeal that made his insides do acrobatics. Or perhaps it was the whisky finally settling in.

He frowned as though that aspect had only just occurred to him and he was as much amused as irritated by the reality. "I'm just a rat with a marriage certificate."

Her lips curled into a wicked smile, "Well then, you're my rat because you're stuck with me."

Neji controlled himself with visible effort. It was those glittering eyes, that incredibly succulent and inviting mouth of hers; he mused abstractedly, conscious that she somehow hauled fiercely on every libidinous hormone he possessed. She had to power to bring out all the passion of the volatile nature he kept under wraps. He didn't understand it, didn't need to, but without conscious volition he drew that tempting mouth up to his once more and crushed it under his. The taste of her was a rich and fragrant and luscious as the juicy strawberries she seemed to be so fond of.

"Don't talk like that," he told her as her words soaked into his chest, giving comfort he hadn't realized that he needed. How could one woman make a yielding man out of someone as unyielding as he was?

She drew him closer, crushing his chest against her breast, one of his legs insinuated between her own. Their bodies melted together in fluid grace, as it always did. Her softness cradled every hard place on him, molding to his chest, his groin, and his thighs. Every delicate curve offered warmth and welcome and pure feminine invitation.

"You know it's true," she told him, the edge of the table holding her upright.

It was madness. And it felt so right. But even as his hands stirred her body, sweeping up and down in a sensual dance of persuasion, in his own wantonness, he was still coherent enough to know that if he admitted anything, he would be lost. "We have to stop."

"No. I want you," she grated truthfully, casually squeezing the back of his thigh.

It wasn't exactly the most erogenous zone on his body, but still, every molecule inside him leaped to attention. His blood roared in his veins at the feel of her touch and the sincerity in her voice. He tried to steady the rapid pace of his heart. But he didn't succeed. His pulse still raced, his breath grew fast and uneven.

He was completely incapable of stopping the visual images that flooded his mind. "Please don't talk like that," he whispered hoarsely, tugging her ponytail holder off and running his fingers through her hair, spreading it across her shoulders.

He tasted her soft earlobe, moving slowly down the long line of her delicate neck, nibbling lightly, savoring the unique flavors of skin and woman. His hands rounded her, sculpting her like she was clay and he was the master craftsman, his hands setting her skin alight. His mouth laved at her throat, as impatiently, he nuzzled aside her shoulder strap. One side of her bodice slipped away, then the other.

"Stop teasing," she cried, plunging both hands into his luxuriant dark hair and pulling his head up for a kiss that unleashed the wild hunger they had both suppressed. She was a mess of pulsing nerve endings, a mess of need. And there was only one way to ease this interminable ache. She was trembling; already breathing in short, shallow little spurts.

"I'm not," he moved his hands to cup her behind realizing that he mirrored the same seething desperation as she did.

He pressed her to him momentarily, and she felt the full effect of his potent, masculine power against her belly. Then he lifted her, sliding her fractionally onto the hardwood of the table before sliding a hand up her thigh. It forced a long, driven groan out of her. It was raw, appreciative and low in her throat.

He could only look at her, wondering if it was just the liquor or if she'd ever looked more beautiful—with her head thrown back, eyes wild, hair a tangled pink mass. Her lips were wet, her mouth open, and her full, gorgeous breast was topped by puckered, erect nipples printing out through her dress.

"Sakura…" he whispered against her mouth. "Not here."

Reaching for the zipper at the side of her dress, she pulled it down and slid it down with agonizing restraint. "No. Right here," he heard her plea in helpless thrall to the pleasure and to him.

Neji closed his eyes, he didn't look, didn't trust himself to see her yet and not completely lose control. He concentrated instead on kissing her temple, tracing her high cheekbone with his mouth, kissing his way to the lobe of her ear. But she continued to pull the fabric down, inch by inch.

"Sakura," he growled, not giving her the frenzy she wanted.

"I can't wait," She rubbed her face against his jaw, her voice throaty, hungry, her choppy breath hitting his neck as she tried to twist her way out of the dress.

His heart banging in both surprise and excitement at her passion, Neji only worked up the will-power to tear free when his lungs were near to bursting. "If you keep talking like that then I won't be able to either," he muttered, instinctively ashamed of the intensity of his own hunger for her but unable to deny it.

"Then I guess I should keep talking."

He shook his head, wordless, mindless; as if afraid she'd distract him from his unhurried, steady progress. His found her throat again, pressed his lips to the hollow and she twined her fingers in his hair.

"Look at me," she told him, her eyes smoldering him with burning intent, any hope of restraint wrestled from her by the alcohol and the sheer charge of shaken anticipation visibly in her feverishly flushed face.

As he did, he muttered a silent prayer for strength, picturing the endless ways he wanted to savour the twin things of beauty, barely contained by their lacy covering. He dipped his head, letting his mouth skim past the very centre of the pretty frilly bra before dispensing of it.

The bra cups fell from her, and he captured an erect pink nipple and toyed with it before moving to the other throbbing peak. Exposed to the air-conditioned atmosphere, she arched her back involuntarily, thrusting her breast farther into his hands, grinding her hips against his hardness. The maddening twist in his belly was as much a growing torment as the ache in his pants.

He wondered if her breasts were as sweet as her lips, but confirmed it later by covering the taut tip with his mouth, not sure which of them was more shocked by the pleasure of it.

Sakura hitched a sigh which later turned into a moan as he edged lower, kissing his way down her belly, dipping his tongue into her navel for a taste. She made no effort to stop him as he further pulled the dress down and more of her body was revealed. He drew back enough to watch it fall away.

She was left clad in a miniscule pair of panties, a thin, lacy string looped over each full hip. A curious hand wondered into its vicinity, tugging them down. An earthy sound of approbation was wrenched from him when his finger discovered the slick satin heat already waiting for him, and from that point control started to fade.

The way her legs shook, the way her hips moved in tiny, nearly imperceptible thrusts told him just how dangerously close they were both coming to losing it. He could easily give her what she desperately craved, he thought to himself. And then watch that beautiful mouth of hers open and that body of hers writhe as he plunged into that throbbing nub flesh at the top of her mound. But —

"Not here," he said, more to himself.

"Right here," she told him fiercely, giving a strangled cry. Her last shred of control seemed to have evaporated because she slid her hand down his pants, unfastened his fly and freed him. "I can't wait."

The fact that her words so perfectly echoed his thoughts sent desire raging through his veins. His body screamed at him to take her. To mark her and possess her in every primitive way there was for a man to possess a woman. For a husband to possess his wife.

"Neji…" she guided him to her, even as he battled with the reality of what they were doing and where they were doing it.

She didn't have long to wait.

His mouth seemed to dry as the shock of her intentions gripped him. It was no longer desire that motivated him. It was a bone-deep need to possess her, to imprint her on his skin.

Wanting to taste her again, he fit his mouth to hers and licked over the seam of her lips. With an animalistic growl and he pushed her legs apart—far enough apart to accommodate the breadth of him. He felt that jolt of first, come-in-spinner contact, and the tingling invitation of her muscles welcoming him home.

Slowly, with a considerable amount of restraint, he eased into her. Just the tip of his heat, then an inch more, and even more after that. Until he powered into her on one long thrust that took both their breaths away. They stayed locked that way together for what seemed like long seconds, savoring the feel of each other, before he slowly withdrew, a painful goodbye, then blessedly pressed himself home again in another long thrust, and then another.

She wrapped her legs around him, and gave herself up to the sensations, lost herself in a rhythm powered by a far greater primal beat as he lost himself in her as well. He filled her so completely he wondered if she'd break in half.

His name escaped as a whispered plea and her eyes were glazed with passion. She stared at him through half lids, her vibrant green eyes looking drugged and unfocused.

They clung to each other in a wave of such powerful excitement; he thought he might pass out with the sheer overload of sensation. It was wild, wilder than he ever dreamt it could be with her. When she finally convulsed in almost agonized ecstasy, he silence her cry of release with the hot demand of his mouth, stilled the writhing of her hips and ground deep into her one last time. Her nails clenched into the flesh of his arm.

A violent shiver overtook him and he exploded with a force that had him gasping. Pain. Pleasure. It all blended together in a myriad of wicked sensation that he never wanted to end. For long moment he twitched, shuddering deep inside her knowing that he had to retreat from her snug warmth.

Their breaths worked hot and hard, colliding with each other as they both gasped to catch up. When he finally felt his head stopped spinning as though he had just come out of a blackout, he took in his surroundings, his attention lodging in disbelief at the kitchen table. He stood shock still, the realization of what he had done flooding through him now.

It was inexplicable—unforgivable. He felt immediate guilt. From flushed and bothered he went to feeling hot and cold with dread in a split second. It felt as though he had defiled her, defiling himself in the process as well.

Anger bit in his throat, his face took on a closed, brooding expression. He'd been a fool. A total fool.

Just as he had been the last time. He allowed her to tear him to shreds all over again, to take him to heaven and then toss him into hell with guilt. And she did all of that without even being aware of it.

Damn her!

"We shouldn't have done that. You're drunk."

The harsh judgment came out of nowhere causing Sakura to flinch. Even in her dazed state of mind in the aftermath of her release she noted that his lean, powerful face was taut, lilac orbs betraying angry distaste. She reeled off the table in an abrupt movement, suddenly feeling, naked and under attack.

"Just a teeny, tiny bit, but that had never stopped us before," she giggled. It was somewhat of a strain for her to try and enunciate each word with clarity. "What's the matter?"

As he watched her gather up her clothes and attempted to pull back on her dress, Neji's mouth clenched, his whole body in the fierce grip of painful frustration while he questioned how he could have overlooked the state that she was in. How could he have allowed temptation to drown out the less than persuasive whispers of morality?

It was as if his whole body and sense had been hard-wired for that moment, every nerve ending he possessed had reacted to her with silent but violent intensity. It was like being physically attacked by his own body—like being mugged and having the protection of his normal caution stolen from him.

It was a disgrace.

"I'm sorry."

Sakura blinked at him. An apology was the very last thing she had expected, in the circumstances. "Sorry for what?"

Her toes caught in her discarded bra where it had fallen to the floor and she tipped forward, only just managing to throw out her hands to break her own fall. As she went down with a crash, accented by a startled expletive from Neji, she slumped on the cold tile.

"That was fun," she lifted her swimming head to focus on his face. An irreverent grin pulled at her lips and she succumbed to the dreadful urge of launching into a series of uncontrollable giggles. "We should do that more often."

He went down on his knees contemplating with fierce frustration, surveying his wife with thunderous incredulity, wondering what he was going to do with her. He wanted to wring his own neck remembering how he had pushed more alcohol on her when she had clearly had enough.

"Ino said you'd lighten up to me if we did."

He raised his eyebrows at her, scrambling to his feet and hoisting her up as well, "And that's why you've been drinking?" he deduced.

"Gold star," she laughed. "Apparently lightening can strike the same place twice."

He felt insulted. It was an offence of no mean order. His lean, breathtakingly handsome face hard as granite, he flared her with derisive and judgmental eyes. How dare she believe that such harbouring such notions was acceptable to him? Had he been that cold towards her that she thought resorting to sex would somehow make their living arrangement more tolerable. And was he so intimidating that she had to drink herself up a backbone to approach him?

He shook his head shutting off a dangerous train of sympathy and carried her to a bathroom down the hall. "You're playing with fire," he informed her, settling her with some difficulty into the seat in the spacious shower cubicle and hitting the buttons to switch on the water.

Only as the water cascaded down did he appreciate that she'd dragged on her dress. He no longer felt quite comfortable with her completely undressed.

"I'm drowning!" she jolted as the warm water flowed over her.

"No you're not," Neji told her, barring the exit in case she made a sudden leap for freedom.

Far from making a dive for it, in slow motion and wearing an only vaguely surprised expression, Sakura slithered off the seat like a boneless doll into a heap on the floor of the cubicle.

"Get up!" he urged in exasperation.

"I think I'll sleep here, bring me a pillow will you?"

Teeth gritted, Neji stepped into the shower to hit the controls and turn the water cold with a sadistic grin.

Sakura uttered a satisfying yelp of surprise as the water turned icy and tingling. Neji ended up getting wet in his efforts to haul her uncooperative body back up onto the seat. He eventually had to settle for squatting down and holding her up, in turn suffering beneath the same cold gush.

"This dress cost a fortune!"

"Tough luck," he launched, shirt and trousers plastered to his big, powerful body as the same chill invaded him. He withstood the onslaught with masochistic acceptance. Served him damn right he thought grimly. He was just as young and naïve as she was for allowing a few glasses of liquor to set him on the path of repeating history.

Kissing her was a mistake, allowing her words to get the better of him was an even bigger mistake. He didn't care that she was his wife, the fact that she was drunk when she came to him and he had taken her, stirred up a deep sense of injustice. He had never sunk so low in his life.

"I'm cold."

"And I'm a fool," he grated, watching her wet hair trail in the water, looking down at her miserable face which was now—aside of the odd streak of mascara—innocent of all cosmetic enhancement. She still had perfect skin and amazing eyes. And damn it maybe he needed to stay under the cold water a bit longer. He was feeling too provoked.

When he was certain that she had had enough, he turned off the shower, got her out of the dress and took care with wrapping her in a towel. Then he sat her down in the kitchen and made them both two mugs of the strongest coffee.

"That ought to sober you up."

"I don't need sobering up!" she snapped, the chill of the shower turning her mood cold. "And I'm not fucking drinking that," she folded her arms and turned up her nose.

"You're a piece of work, do you know that?" he growled.

"You're a piece of work, do you know that?" she mimicked then fell into a sneezing fit. "See what you did?" she managed to bristle between sneezes.

Scowling, he fetched a piece of napkin thinking how having her as his wife could easily equate to having a third child. It was like babysitting without having to change diapers. And to be honest, Taro and Jiro he could handle, at least they didn't talk back. Sakura was whole different kind of trouble.

The kind of trouble that had his housekeeper shoving a white box into his hand a couple weeks later, demanding that he found out why his wife couldn't keep down the meals she _(the housekeeper) _apparently squanders her time in preparing.

Neji could only stare open-mouthed. What the fuck was he supposed to do with a pregnancy test?

Then it hit him.

Holy fucking shit.

History was a bitch.

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><p><strong>AN: I know that it has been forever since I've updated and I'm so sorry. An explanation is written on my profile if you care to find out why I've been M.I.A. Just know that I was suffering all this while I was away from you guys :(**

**Well I tried as much as I could to write from Neji's perspective, to kind of look at things through different eyes. I'm not particularly pleased with this chapter, but am I ever, with any other chapter? **

**Until I am fluent in English, confidence is just another quality I will have to live without. Lastly, pardon me if the lemon sucked it was never meant to be passionate. It was supposed to be rash and impulsive and it kind of was, so I can pat myself on the back for that.**

**Pleaaaaaseeee Review to keep me motivated.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twenty**

**A/N: This is a lot shorter than the last couple of chapters. I had to chop this one down because it was too long, but you can expect the next chapter to be up quickly. It's practically finished.**

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><p>Neji's brows came together and unease skittered down his spine. "I haven't noticed any symptoms—" he regretted it the moment the word left his mouth. The elderly woman sent him a look of disapproval. It almost sounded as though he were referring to Sakura's alleged state as an ailment. "—I haven't seen any signs," he corrected himself with emphasis.<p>

"With all due respect Sir, the cleaning service spends more hours in this house than you do," there wasn't any bite in her voice, but her passing remark had consolidated all the nebulous fears that had been swimming about in his head. His absenteeism was not going unnoticed. "And that's really saying something because there's hardly anything here for them to clean," she finished off.

He adjusted the beach towel he had casually thrown over his shoulders and fixed her a stern look. "I'm a man of many obligations," he reminded her austerely, in case she had forgotten that he ran a law firm and was currently in the middle of a legal scuffle with his clan. That shit meant trying to fit forty-eight hours of work in one day. He would tell her to do the math, except that it was fucking rocket science.

"Yes sir," she agreed grudgingly. "But one of those obligations is your wife." Now it was her turn to drag his memory.

Painfully aware of suddenly being confronted for his negligence, he avoided the perceptible chill of the housekeeper's hooded dark gaze. "Sakura can take care of herself," he shrugged.

"Look," the woman said, seemingly taking a calming breath. "You two need to sort through your issues because it won't go unnoticed by the children," she dealt the guilt card well. "It most definitely is not going unnoticed by the rest of the staff," but she dealt an accusing appraisal even better.

Crippling self-reproach twisted in his stomach, assailing him in a choking tide. He had gone about it so subtly; he thought his intentions would have gone undetected. Was it obvious that he had taken a keener than usual interest in work just to get Sakura out of his hair?

Naturally, Neji was irritated his employee's choice of tone and tried to restore the natural order of thing by letting her know just exactly who worked for whom.

"Whatever my wife and I have going on between us is of no concern of yours. And whatever it is, it certainly is not an issue," he pronounced with disdain, utilizing a little white lie to conserve his privacy and to avoid having to deliberate over what he considered a very minor inexplicable aspect of his behaviour.

"It may not be an issue sir, but it could be another baby," she pressed, huge eyes that stood out like a sore thumb on her aged face, focusing on him with disturbing intensity.

She had some nerve, Neji huffed. "Have you ever thought that maybe she came down with a stomach bug?" he inquired politely but delivered the last sentence with nothing but cold contempt, "Or perhaps your cooking isn't nearly as appetizing as you think?"

The woman growled low in her throat, turned on her heels and strode away towards the house, muttering that he had better not track sand in the hall.

Neji shifted his weight to one foot, watching the frail, little woman retreat up the path to the house. Her words exploded inside his skull as he battled his own disbelief. Had yet another drunken mistake created a child? Was this karma at work or simply fate?

He decided against the latter. If this was fate, then it was hanging like a sword over his head, just waiting to impale him at any minute.

Something twisted in him.

He didn't want her pregnant. He didn't want it to be true.

Why was it that something so fleeting as sexual pleasure resulted in things like children?

It was unfair.

A complex mixture of something unfamiliar curled their fingers into his chest and tugged hard. She couldn't possibly be pregnant, Neji thought to himself.

She couldn't.

But then he went numb, as if his body had been plunged into cold waters when his mind took a minute to shift into gear. Absolutely no precaution had been taken that night…

It was a night that he was eager to put behind him, out of fear of what it might mean. Yet here he was, possibly with another kid to show for his recklessness.

He was still being haunted by the memory of those silver streaks on her cheeks. They tugged hard on his conscience. Of course it was no secret that he resented tears, but that night, after their fight, when he had walked past her bedroom door and heard her cry herself to sleep, it had forced him to evaluate his treatment of her.

He had taken her with as much finesse as a barbarian. It was impossible to believe he hadn't hurt her and the thought filled him with such bitter self-disgust that he couldn't even bring himself to look at her. The fact that she had begged him and responded to him so fervently did not excise his behaviour. And to add insult to injury he had been equally as cold afterwards, if the situation had been reversed he would have felt utterly used and rejected.

It had left him aching with emotion that he did not understand, and a faint feel of regret he felt helpless to express. Yet when he did, she had told him that he did no wrong. That she was his wife, his woman and his for the taking. If possible, his guilt had grown, knowing that she had devoted herself to him so willingly only because he had forced her hand and she had no other choice than to put up with him.

Her love had been forged from something synthetic —however genuine it may be today—and for that he was everlastingly disgruntled. He hadn't wanted her to fall for him because she felt she had to, but because she wanted to.

Suddenly he felt as if his swim by the beach had done nothing to clear his head. He needed to do something with his hands, something that would stop him from strangling himself to death. A cloud of dismay grew around him at the realization that he had no idea how Sakura would take to this nightmare. That was, if she hadn't already discovered it for herself and had been keeping it from him all along.

At that thought, his nerves seemed to have let go off something sturdy and was now hanging on to something thin and far less reliable.

He purposefully made his way up along the winding path that led from the beach to the back of his house, where a large patio extended and a swimming pool carved in the middle. It entered the house under an elaborate archway with walls of glass designed to provide the view of the ocean in the distance.

As he neared the gate, he heard a roar of feminine laughter cracking through the silence. That's right, he remembered, Sakura had a couple of her school friends over. He would have to save the confrontation for later, he decided. But no later than today, he had to get to the bottom of this.

He turned his attention to the sparklingly water in the pool, thinking he'd better swim off some of the newfound anxiety that was eating away at his stoic façade. He plunged into the refreshing coolness and angled straight to the bottom, then up. As he sliced through its mirrored surface, he concentrated on the tang of chlorine, the pool's aquamarine lining and the burn of his muscles as he headed for the far end with long, slow strokes.

The water was warmed by the afternoon sun but still refreshing enough to make Neji swim length after length without exhaustion. It brought back memories of his childhood, when he had swam in this very pool while his father cheered him on for his prowess in the waters. It had been hard coming back here, it was even harder to live here, but it was the only thing his father had truly ever owned and he felt obliged to keep it close to heart.

As he surfaced at the end of the pool he saw a pair of long legs. His heart probably would have given a stop-start had it belonged to his wife. But it didn't, and as unwelcoming as ever, he scowled at his guest.

Tension lined the girl's features, barely restrained tension that held Neji's broad-shouldered pose rigid and forced the flicker of movement at his jaw. "Who are you?"

A gasped escaped her and Neji scoffed, climbed out of the pool and pushed his wet air out of his face, to further scrutinize the stricken lass. But he was only made conscious that he wore close to nothing safe for a pair of beach shorts as her eyes ate him up like a pack of wild wolves.

The woman visibly swallowed going flustered in the process. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but helplessly closed it back.

Neji cringed a little at the way she was gazing upon him. As if to indicate that against the glittering ocean behind him and infinite skies above, he looked like a sea god, emerging from the oceans to claim the world and everything it contained. And, if he'd been holding a trident, he would have launched directly at her.

The imagery wasn't something to smirk at, especially since the poor girl looked terrified.

"Sakura!" she suddenly screamed and sprinted back into the house, her fiery mob of hair, blazing like a forest fire behind her.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura wiped her hands in her shorts and sighed deeply, appalled at her friend's loudness. "God damn it Yumi, you've woken Taro," she hissed, approaching the frowning child's cradle as if he were a wild tiger that would pounce upon her the very minute he smelled fear. "Never mind sweetie, go back to sleep," she cooed, picking him up and nestling him in the crook of her shoulder. She then proceeded to rub his back in that slow and comforting way that he liked.

If she wasn't certain of anything else, she knew Taro loved to be pampered. He was a very fussy baby and could be very difficult, especially in situations like these.

"I'm sorry," Yumi piped shoving aside a textbook to sit down. Then she lowered her voice, making her grey eyes roll back and fanned herself dramatically. "Your boyfriend is hot," the redhead declared shamelessly.

Sakura deadpanned.

"That is but a gross understatement," Ino volunteered, encouraging the conversation. "And he's not her boyfriend, he's her husband," she corrected almost smugly, then took a swallow from her water bottle and steadied Jiro in her lap. "But you're way hotter than daddy, aren't you Jiro-kun?" she nuzzled his nose.

The baby squealed in excitement. He held on to Ino's hands using them to prop himself to his feet and bobbed up and down, eyes luminous with glee, his grin showing every bit of gum he possessed. He had taken a very unhealthy liking to Ino. But it meant that whenever she was around Sakura had more time for Taro, since his brother's illness meant that he got little attention.

Yumi looked at Sakura with incredulous eyes, "I respect that."

Izumi nodded her dark head in agreement, "Yeah, put a ring on it, because that man is a walking sex hazard just waiting to occur," her brown gaze blazing amber as she said it.

Eri, the quieter of the quarto, who would usually resort the giggling whenever these types of topics came up said something that left Sakura flustered from head to toe. "If he was my man, I'd jump his bones every day."

Crimson washed up her face. She turned away and proceeded to rock Taro, knowing that their eyes were fixated on her, probing to discover exactly how she felt about what had been said. The truth was, she didn't want them to how know uncomfortable and possessive it made her feel when they went about ogling Neji. She didn't want it to seem as if she felt threatened by them or anything. If she was to feel threatened by anyone, it was the damn man himself and the feelings that he didn't return.

"You know forehead…" Ino drawled tauntingly, "You've got a glow."

Sakura flushed under the insinuation of her words, "Not this again…" she warned under her breath, fearful that she might startle Taro out of his sleep again.

"It's not a very distinctive glow," the blonde twisted her neck to try and assess her friend more accurately. "It's more like the hybridization of a many glows."

"Oh?" Sakura arched a pink brow, "So now there are types of glows?" she asked, not in the least bit interested.

"Of course there is," she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "There's the in-love glow, the sex glow, the baby glow, the newlywed glow…" she went on to list them. "Yours is a little bit of everything," she deduced then blew on Jiro's tummy causing him to laugh at the funny feel and noises.

It was then that Sakura turned to scowl at her friend, but the first thing she caught sight of was Neji's unsmiling face as he entered the sitting room. His hair was still a little damped, she knew he had gone swimming. But now he had changed into a soft grey linen suit and a simple t-shirt that made him look cool and casual and superbly stylish and just too fucking sexy to be fair.

He looked at her and something flared in his eyes that made her almost falter as her heart gave a fluttering stir. Then the expression was gone, "Have Hana and Mai get the boys ready," he instructed.

At the sound of Neji's voice, Taro's little head shot up from where Sakura thought he had been sleeping on her shoulder. Deceitful little brat. His eyes crinkled in pleasure at seeing his daddy. He gurgled and kicked in delight, stretching his hands out in Neji's direction.

Sakura felt man and baby lock gazes, and held her breath. There was no doubt about it, she was jealous of the preferential treatment Taro gave his father. He would never have behaved this way had it been her.

Gosh, it was almost like he found religion or something.

"I gave them the day off," she frowned, a little confused. "Where are you going?" she whispered, sharply aware that her friends were watching them.

"On a little trip," he waved it off dismissively. "Have you eaten already?"

She shook her head dumbly with an intense, impossible-to-look-away-from focus. "W-well I was a-about to," she stuttered, pointing at the untouched sandwich lying on the coffee table between two stacks of books. "B-but Ta-taro woke up."

"Give him to me," for some reason it sounded as though she was being reprimanded. His lavender orbs flared her and she felt jumpy all of a sudden. Panic was clawing at her like a wild animal desperate to escape captivity. But he merely resorted to confiding that, "I don't like it when you miss meals."

Someone squealed, and it wasn't either of the boys. It was funny though, that the minute Neji stepped into the room Izumi, Yumi and Eri's heads went back into their books. Ino knew better than to appear intimidated by him, it only increased the effect he had on people.

She crossed the room almost hesitantly, shivering a little when his hand brushed against her arm as she handed him an overenthusiastic Taro. His arms grasped his daddy's neck and he mashed his face into Neji's shoulder affectionately.

"I hear you're being difficult," Neji scolded the child softly; the tot shook his head furiously as if to say they were telling lies on him. The Hyuuga chuckled, but his face went grim when he caught sight of what his wife was eating, "Sakura what in the heaven's name is that?"

"It's a panwich," Ino offered. "Sakura invented it."

Neji shot her an unconvinced look, "A what?"

"A pancake sandwich," she stated more clearly. "You know…bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato and all the good stuff in between two pancakes."

Sakura shivered a little, watching Neji take a deep, calming breath and told her firmly, "Throw that in the garbage."

She pouted, unable to comply with his request. "I will not!" she huffed finally.

"Forehead isn't necessarily a good cook," Ino said coming to her defense, but she may as well have remained quiet. "So she lives off crazy experimental meals."

"We have a cook," Neji pointed out flatly.

"Wise decision, because with Sakura as your wife you'll need one," Ino laughed.

Neji's mask cracked a bit and for a second there was blatant amusement there. Sakura shook her head smiling. "Yeah, at least I know where the kitchen is in my house."

"Do you now?" he asked curiously.

His gaze held hers wordlessly for several long, tension-filled seconds. A not so distant memory reared her head. An immediate blush stained her cheeks as it cut through her.

She didn't linger too much in the kitchen these days. Something would always flash back into her head, and she'd find that just thinking about being in there turned her stomach. Her mouth went dry.

She had the very uncomfortable suspicion that her bizarre reaction was somehow tied into to the fear that something out her control and totally meaningless would happen if they found themselves in a similar situation. Still she closed her eyes briefly, letting the memory wash over her. He had been everything she could have ever fantasized about. A lover beyond comparison—then again, he had been her only lover—a master of the art, more in tune with her body than even she had been.

He elicited a response that made her dizzy with desire all over again. He'd taken her to the brink and past it over and over again. She had been as insatiable as him. Still was, and thought maybe it would have been a headway into their relationship.

That was why anger, hurt and contempt had filled her upon realizing that he had been avoiding her.

He would leave early in the mornings and come back late at nights only coming in time to put the twins to bed when it was his turn to work the _night shifts_, as they termed it.

When she saw him, he was usually too engrossed in his work or playing with the boys to have anytime for her. It was infuriating. And it was primarily the reason why she felt so sick and awful all the time. _It had to be. _Her heartache was transcending into something far more physical than it had been emotional. It was like her heart had been cut out and the rest of her organs were left to fend for themselves.

And yet, it was still beating—in the unfeeling hands of the man, for whom she would not give anything to fall out of love with.

It was pathetic.

Jiro's wail pierced through her thought. He was fidgeting in Ino's arms and looking expectantly at Neji, almost demanding in his approach. Same shit, different toilet. This was how it always was whenever he was around. And being the haughty Hyuuga that he was, he relished in the knowledge that his sons worshipped him.

It cannot be stressed enough, that when it came to Neji, the twins behaved as if they've found religion.

Taro's eyes narrowed at his brother when Ino unceremoniously placed him in Neji's other arm.

"I can't compete with you," Ino admitted disappearing to answer the door.

Sakura looked up at Neji, who was busy trying to steady the weight of both boys in his arms. He wasn't getting anywhere with it because the two of them were hardly keeping steady themselves, babbling off to each other.

"Are you expecting someone?" she asked, hurrying her colleagues to tidy up the mess they've made of the living room.

They sprang to their feet.

"Maybe, are you?" he asked, something different in his voice. "We need to talk," he said surprising her with his abruptness. But in all his placidity, he looked a bit uneasy to her, like he was trying to formulate an acceptable way to say what he wanted to say.

"About?" she inquired nonchalantly.

There was an oppressive moment of silence, and then Neji spoke hushed and heavy, "I need you to take a pregnancy test."

She stopped what she was doing, seemingly struggling with something huge. "What?"

Pregnant? Sakura stifled a bubble of hysterical laughter.

Well, she certainly wasn't.

But then, her brain mentally registered the facts and assembled them: her aching breasts, her sickness, her growing waist, that alleged _glow_…a wave of sickening shock and disbelief thundered through her and all she could hear was Neji asking her anxiously if she was fine.

"Of course," she lied.

She was anything but fine. How could she be when the reason for the sickness she had been suffering for the last couple of weeks, the unexplainable cravings and the fact that, oddly, her waist seemed to have expanded making her clothes feel tight, had suddenly been made blindingly obvious to her.

Was Neji right to make such assumptions? She made some hasty mental calculations, whilst her heart banged anxiously against her ribs. Her lungs emptied as she met Jiro's pale eyes, thinking that maybe another pair could possibly be joining them soon.

The instant she saw the total trust and dependence in little his eyes, she was barely able to restore control. It overwhelmed her. "I can't be pregnant," she told Neji, holding unto her abdomen.

But the dreadful truth was that it didn't matter to her if she was, particularly if it kept Neji with her. Was that wicked? To wish she had a way of turning those five years into a lifetime, if not for the sake of love itself, then for the sake of their children.

"Sakura," Neji said her name with uncertainty.

"Yes?"

He nudged his head downward, dragging her attention to the little people he held in his arm, apparently perched for battle. Taro had gone ahead latching his palm around a fist full of Jiro's shirt and was yanking him forward, mouthing off something only babies understood. But Neji was pretty sure it translated to _'I was here first, go fuck yourself' _or something of the equivalent.

The amusement was short-lived, for Sakura broke it up immediately with the mild crack of her hand against Taro's. "Stop that! Why are you always so cruel to your brother?" she asked, snatching Jiro out of Neji's hazardous arms.

There was a moment of stunned silence. Sakura felt a chill come over her as Taro's disbelieving little gaze held hers. But Taro needed to realize that she would not accept this sort of behaviour.

His eyes filled with tears and his lips jutted out, a sign of the fulmination to come. And it did, loud and ear piercing. It was slightly more theatrical that usual, this owing to the fact that Neji was present and Taro was probably trying to get the man to comfort him or retaliate on his behalf.

"Oh be quiet! I barely touched you," she hissed at him, cradling Jiro to her bosom, his tiny heart was pounding so hard she thought it might jump out of his chest.

"Sakura," Neji said her name in a low drilling voice this time.

She breathed in as deeply as she could, until she felt the thread snap and her breath shuddered as it released. And she watched the pulse beating in the base of his neck. He looked—he looked frighteningly angry, she recognized.

"Yes?" she swallowed.

"Don't ever do that again."

OoOoOoOo

Seated in the plush leather passenger seat of Neji's Jaguar, Naruto titled his head against the headrest and glanced across at the Hyuuga. His hands were clenched on the steering wheel, leashing the torque of the powerful car, his knuckles white as he concentrated on the road ahead. His profile etched against the afternoon light, his hair uncharacteristically messy.

"Man, are you still upset that Sakura slapped the brat?" he sighed. "He's the one who got hit and he has already gotten over it," Naruto stuck his head around the backseat and made a funny face at Taro. "At least I think he's getting over it," he concluded, noting that the child was unmoved by it, in fact he looked utterly annoyed.

Jiro however was kicking up a hysteric, laughing fit. Naruto reached a tentative hand to stroke his cheek.

The twins were polar opposite of each other, safe for their physical appearance. Heck, they could be Neji's clones minus the long flowing hair. But there was no mistaking them at six months old. Jiro was sunny and polite—an absolute peach. His brother on the other hand, good heavens, Naruto mused, that boy was the spawn of the devil. It seemed the only person, aside from his parents, that the boy was fond of, was himself.

The Hyuuga genes ran thick and deep in his veins.

He's awfully uncooperative with his nannies and terribly mean to his younger brother. Let's just say that today was not the first he had taken a swing at poor Jiro. Of course this was unknown to Neji and Sakura, the little wretch always put up a good front for mommy and daddy.

He must have really lost his shit today to have attacked Jiro like that, Naruto thought laughing to himself.

"I don't believe in spanking," Neji bit out ungracefully.

Naruto stretched and yawned, returning his attention to the road ahead. "If I were you, I would be more concerned about getting slapped myself, considering where we're off to without Sakura's permission."

"I don't need anyone's permission," he said, mounting his high horse.

Naruto chuckled, shaking his head, "I'll never understand Sakura's obsession with arrogant men like yourself."

Neji's ears pricked up at this but he wasn't about to ask Naruto what he meant. Least the blonde said something that would have Neji hauling him out of his car and abandoning him on the highway. No, he decided resolutely, he wouldn't risk it; he needed the moron in order to get to Sakura's parents.

"Hn?" he grunted self-possessed. It was more of an indication that the conversation was futile but Naruto took it as an invitation to prolong the dialogue either way.

He folded his arms behind his head and propped his feet unto Neji's dashboard, "Sasuke was just the same and look at where it got her," he sighed. "I think it has left her with more scars than she care to admit."

Neji took his eyes off the road briefly, "Uchiha Sasuke?" he asked throatily.

Naruto nodded, fixing him with a curious glance.

Anger rose like a swift tide of lava inside him. And something else much more potent and disturbing. _Jealousy_. An alien emotion because no other woman had ever aroused it in him.

He had heard about Sasuke from Ino, who had warned him off about hurting Sakura the way the Uchiha had. From what he gathered, they were never romantically involved. But Sakura had cared a great deal for the bastard who was either oblivious or indifferent enough to her feelings, that he dated one of her best friends.

He brought his attention back to the traffic ahead and gritted out finally, "We are nothing alike."

Ino said that Sakura had been distraught, and it was the primary reason why she had gotten drunk that night at Temari's party. So in some way, Neji supposed he was the rebound.

He felt cheapened that he was second best to anyone, but even more so at the thought that Sakura's love for him may be purely superficial. And for some reason, he just couldn't handle that. It was a glum realization, but he felt an almost corrosive insecurity when it came to the truth behind her feelings.

"For the sake of your pretty face, I hope that you're not," Naruto threatened lightly but Neji sensed the dark intent in his voice.

"Naruto," he said coolly. But he kept his gaze dead ahead, his fingers clenched hard to the steering wheel, his jaw set like stone.

"Yes?"

"Tell me about Sakura and Sasuke," he suggested, dismounting his high horse momentarily.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura paced the confines of the entrance hall, the wait for Ino to return an unbearable eternity. She checked the clock and then looked anxiously around, trying to find something to do with herself. Yumi and the others had taken off and she didn't expect Neji to come back any time soon since he and Naruto had taken the boys out. She was curious as to where they had gone off to, especially since Naruto wasn't her husband's first choice for a buddy ole pal—or anything for that matter. But she was even more curious as to what was taking Ino so long to return.

Her pulse bounded when she heard a vehicle in the drive. Her gaze jerked to the window and she sagged in relief when she saw Ino's Mercedes.

A moment later, Ino hurried in the door with a plain, brown paper sack in her hand.

"I bought three," she said as she began pulling a box out of the bag. "It would be better to take multiple tests no matter what the first result is, just to make sure."

Sakura smiled and hugged her tight, "Thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"But I don't understand why you needed these?" Ino pulled carefully away, her cerulean eyes filled with concern. "Have you two been fucking?"

Sakura nudged her in her side, "Gosh Ino, don't say it like that," she croaked with no idea why she was blushing guiltily when she hadn't done anything wrong. Wasn't Ino the one who had coaxed her on to sleep with the damn man in the first place?

"Taro and Jiro aren't even a year old yet," she pointed out. "What does this mean, if you are in fact pregnant, again?"

"I don't know," Sakura said in a low voice.

The blonde smiled, "Maybe this is a good thing."

Sakura laughed but took the box from Ino and hurried toward the bathroom down the hall. "That, I sincerely doubt," she called back.

"Can you imagine having another pair of twins? I would cut my tubes after that," Ino said in an amused voice from just outside the bathroom.

Sakura's hands shook as she hastily tore into the box. They were shaking so badly that she nearly dropped the stick once she freed it from the packaging.

After reading the instructions twice to make sure she did everything accordingly, she forced herself to calm down and focus on the task at hand. And then, so she wouldn't drive herself crazy waiting for the first test's results, she squeezed out just enough to go ahead and take the second and third tests.

She straightened her clothing, washed her hands, and then checked her watch, all the while avoiding the little indicator windows on the sticks lying the counter.

Then she looked.

"Forehead?"

At first she didn't respond.

"Sakura, is everything okay in there?"

"You can come in," Sakura managed to get out.

The door opened and Ino stuck her head in and then looked down at what Sakura was obviously starring at.

"They're all positive," Sakura murmured, and then giddy rush fizzled through her veins much like a shaken up soda. "I'm pregnant Ino."

Her friend gaped.

"How will Neji react to this?" Sakura breathed, tears filled her eyes, and then Ino was hugging her, holding on tight as she fought the wave of emotion engulfing her.

"He'll just have to deal with it," Ino said fiercely. "Congratulations."

"I'm not even sure if congratulations are in order," she cried, pulling away.

Ino shook her head, "Don't let your fear of what Neji may think ruin this moment."

She grabbed a washcloth and ran cold water over it. She wrung out the washcloth and pressed it to her eyes and face. When she pulled it down, she grimaced. "What if he gets upset?"

Ino's face wrinkled in sympathy, "This isn't your fault. The last time I checked it took two people to create a baby."

Sakura bunched up her nose, "Or two bottles of whisky."

Ino's soft chuckle echoed through the bathroom. "I didn't think you had the balls to do it."

"I didn't," Sakura admitted.

"Of course you didn't. He did," she added with a grin. "Pun intended."

Sakura scowled, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Ino dissolved into laughter, grabbing Sakura's hands and jumping around like a crazy school girl. "I can't believe you're having another baby," she stopped, inhaled and exhaled a few times to catch her breath and then said. "It had better be a girl this time, or you'll be terribly outnumbered."

"I know," she said sounding distant.

The wild thumping in her chest wasn't the least bit pleasant. Still she felt like doing something ridiculous. It was tough choice between squealing and twirling around in circles—like the happy mother that she was, or throwing herself over a bridge like a coward. Of course the one that held more appeal was the one she decided against.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This felt like a filler chapter. But I'm merely laying the foundation of what's to come… I'll probably wrap this up in another five chapters.**

**Please Review**

**What are your thoughts? Especially regarding Neji…**


	21. Chapter 21

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

The warm air caressed Neji's skin like silk as he stepped from the vehicle outside the Harunos' Villa. Dusk was claiming the sky, lines of pink strewn across it like ribbons as the sun fell.

Naruto whistled, getting out of the car as well, "I haven't been here in a long time," he said, opening the back door to scoop up Jiro from his car seat. "Are you sure about this?"

Neji followed suit, picking up Taro, "Would I be here if I wasn't?" he jammed his thumb on the car lock remote, straightening himself.

He sucked in the warm air and drank in the sight of the place Sakura once called home. With a few refurbishments it would be stunning but Neji found that he appreciated the slightly crumbling grandeur and the primrose paint that donned its walls as it reflected the glorious glow of the setting sun.

"They seem to be doing pretty well for themselves," he noted, barely keeping the awe from his voice.

The house's simplicity was deceptive. Its low front and flat roof made it look almost modest, but the wide veranda leading up to the huge walnut front door hinted at the luxury that lay inside.

What kept it from looking almost too flat, were the trees that lined the entire front façade. Tall and willowy pine trees, indigenous to this particular region of Konoha, were spaced in such a way as to enhance the view of the house, not distract from it.

"They do alright," Naruto supplied. "The old man's an engineer and her mother is a journalist."

For reasons unknown to him, Neji did not take comfort in knowing the woman's occupation.

"Sakura is going to have your head for this," Naruto warned, but swallowed the rest of his protest when he met Neji's death glare.

Just then the front door opened and a full-bodied figure emerged from behind it. Out came a lady dressed in a tailored black skirt and jacket teamed with a cream silk shirt. She had a very sophisticated air about her which her stern jewel-green eyes did nothing to dispel. Her honey blonde tresses were swept back to rest immaculately on her shoulders. She wore a modest smatter of make-up on her face—a face which seemed to have been sculpted to illustrate power and command rather than grace or splendor.

"Naruto!" the woman greeted, her pink lips curling into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She barely acknowledged Neji, skating a glance over him.

They Hyuuga's stomach dropped. He wasn't accustomed to such indifference from anyone, let alone a female—regardless of age. It both disturbed and offended him. And because he knew with absolute certainty that he was _not_ seeking approbation from this woman, he could only blame his arrogance for the unease caused by her lack of regard.

"Mebuki-san, how are you?" Naruto muffled, trying to pull away Jiro's hand which had been shoved into his mouth. "Cut that out will you?" he caught one of the brat's fingers between his teeth.

The baby giggled, poking him in the eye with his free hand.

Mebuki watched the exchange from her doorway looking both amused and irritated at the same time. She kept her chin high and cleared her throat loudly. "To what do I owe this honour?"

Both Naruto and Jiro immediately ceased their romping, pinning her with equally guilty gazes.

"I've brought visitors," Naruto beamed, walking up onto the veranda, trying to steal a look over her shoulders. "Where's Kizashi-san?"

Neji cast the woman a lingering glance. She was studying Jiro's with a little bit more than keen interest.

Oblivious to the long, steady and curious scrutiny he was under, the boy stretched his hand out to the stoic woman, pouting desperately.

"He's not doing too well," she answered finally, the sad lines around her mouth revealing what her eyes kept hidden.

"That's too bad," Naruto shook his head solemnly. "Is he up for any visitors?"

Mebuki surprised both Neji and the child himself when she relieved Naruto of the small bundle, gathering Jiro against her shoulder, "What a pretty pair of eyes," she exclaimed, tapping his nose with her index finger. "Well come on in, I'll make us some ice tea, Kizashi would be delighted to see you," she ushered.

Naruto scratched his head, thankful that the woman was preoccupied with questioning the burbling infant, and thus not seeing the wordless conversation taking place between himself and Neji. They were both debating over who would break the news to her that the adorable little creature she held, belonged to her daughter.

They both followed her into the house, Naruto seemingly in his element but Neji's pulse was thundering. Jiro was chattier than usual, giggling like a wild goose and neither man could understand why he had taken an instant liking to the woman. She gave Neji the chills.

His mouth went a little dry as they entered the mansion. It was cool and just as breathtaking inside. The decoration a mix of warm colours hung with beautiful tapestries and paintings in ornate gold frames. There was a lot of marble, cream marble shot with very pale yellow on which sat silk rugs in muted colour with elaborate patterns.

They were shown to a table set into a corner of the elegant dining room. Sparkling crystal and polished silver and fine bone china graced the pure white tablecloths.

"You're just in time for supper," she spun around to address them after a moment of endless silence.

"Now you're talking!" Naruto grinned, throwing himself down on one of the chairs around the table and making himself at home. "What are we having?"

Neji noticed the familiar way Mebuki smiled at the man's antics. "Hayashi Raisu," she informed him.

Jiro suddenly leaned away from the woman's chest, reaching for the ground and babbling insistently. He wanted to be put down so he could explore the unfamiliar place and shove into his mouth whatever he crawled across. The twins were at that age where it was dangerous to take your eyes off them for a second. Well at least Jiro was, Taro didn't put random objects in his mouth, he was awfully cautious for a baby.

Hoping to distract the infant, Mebuki pulled off her necklace and gave it to him. Had it been Taro he would have thrown it to the ground and renewed his appeals to be put down. But luckily for the woman, Jiro was easily won over and was just content with shaking the shiny object and slobbering over it.

Naruto's gaze turned deliberately to Neji. "Have you two met?" he asked with somewhat of a foxy grin that Neji was mentally trying to slap from his face.

It was to no avail; even in his mind that sly smirk remained.

Other than behaving impolitely as he had on previous occasions whenever someone treated his presence with nonchalance, the Hyuuga knew he had no other choice than to swallow his pride and initiate the exchange of pleasantries.

"Hyuuga Neji," he said confidently, even as he held out his hand, knowing by the look on the woman's face when he first arrived, that the introduction was unnecessary.

Under other circumstances, the look on her face at exactly who he was, might possibly have amused him, had it not been the most unusual reaction to his identity that he experienced.

"Haruno Mebuki," she returned economically, but made no effort to shake the hand he held out to her. "And there's no need to introduce yourself, I know who you are," she told him ruefully.

Neji's outstretched hand retreated to hoisting Taro up more comfortably; at the same time obviously making great efforts to regain his equilibrium after the shock of the woman's hostility.

As though he had sensed his father's unease, Taro shot the woman a resentful little glare.

"And who is this?" Mebuki smiled at him, ruffling his hair.

Neji saw the tremor that went through her when the boy gruffly shoved her hand aside and turned his face away, burying it in daddy's shirt.

That's my boy.

"Not very friendly is he?" she returned her attention to Jiro who gave her what could only be interpreted as an apologetic smile. It later transcended into crows of delight as Mebuki lifted him above her head. "I didn't think you and that Hyuuga girl were serious enough to have children Naruto."

Neji quirked a brow at this, his light eyes darkening. He did not like the way she said his surname—as though she was eager to get it off her tongue.

Naruto gave a harsh bark of nervous laughter, "These are Sakura's children, Mebuki-san."

Very abruptly, she settled the baby against her chest, turning to Naruto, her expression a puzzling mixture of surprise and dismay. "Excuse me?"

Jiro lilac orbs travelled the distance to Naruto's face, and when it got there, his lips jutted out as though accusing the blonde of interrupting his playtime.

"Say hello to baa-chan Jiro," Naruto urged.

As if the child could understand.

But his snowy eyes, so much like his father's and yet, holding something that spoke terribly of her daughter, settled on the woman in unblinking steadiness. Mebuki wondered if she'd misjudged his comprehension.

"Jiro…" she repeated, locking it in memory. "It's nice to put a name to the face," she held out her hand to the tot and he latched on with a surprisingly fierce grip. A lump of something swelled in her chest until she couldn't draw a breath. "This is Sakura's boy?" she choked on her surprise.

"And Neji's," he expanded cautiously, because it was clear that she hadn't been won over by the man's handsome features, sporty car and distinguished appellation.

She tensed and Jiro leaned forward, putting his palms to her mouth. They stared deeply into each other's eyes—Jiro with a broad grin and his grandmother, with a look of utter stupefaction. Neji watched on, unsure if she was even breathing.

Was she finally beginning to feel remorse for the way she had treated her daughter?

Forging a connection between Sakura's parents and the twins was the only was way he thought he could get his wife to touch base with her folks again. Sakura was just as, if not, almost as headstrong as he was, getting her to do something that she didn't want to do was like pouring water down a duck's back and expecting it to not run off. But he couldn't live with the knowledge that he had driven a wedge between her and her family. Something had to be done to put an end to this ridiculous feud.

His anger with the Harunos for turning their backs on Sakura was irrational, but it was rooted in his own hurt at the way his ties with his family had been severed.

Mebuki turned sharply to face him, her features set in cool challenge as she looked at him questioningly. "So you're the one who ruined my daughter?"

He gave a disgusted shake of his head, "That would be you," he corrected her pointedly before adding dryly, "I didn't leave her to fend on her own."

"Sakura made her bed and had to lie in it," she returned, callously dismissive.

"Well she made a king sized bed!" Naruto interjected with the intention of adding some much needed lightness to the heavily tension-permeated argument. It however, had the complete opposite effect of further stirring up the animosity.

"That's good for her," she snarled. "But I don't care much for his wealth," the last was added scornfully.

Neji took a calming breath, "Neither do I," he confided. "I only care for her well-being."

Mebuki gave a derisive laugh, "You Hyuugas don't care about anything other than wealth and yourselves." She eyed him scathingly, "If she had been looking for a sugar daddy, there were far better options available."

His mouth twisted humorlessly as he tried to offset the offence that had been taken. "And what if she had been looking for a husband?"

She gave him a quizzical look, "Excuse me?"

"Sakura and I are married," he told her lightly, enjoying being the one to have completely disconcerted her this time.

Her jaws dropped. She was too shell-shocked to even remove Jiro's idle fingers from her mouth.

A slightly conflicted Naruto had to peel the wriggling tot off her, for Mebuki looked about ready to lose grip on not only reality, but the baby as well.

Neji's amusement dried up, but with that came an eerie swell of pride, "I can assure you that Sakura isn't in need of a sugar daddy, as you put it," he grimaced even as he made use of the reference. "She just completed her first semester at Medical School and her future looks promising."

"You married my daughter?" she exploded, discrediting everything he said after those words left his mouth. "I don't want to be mixed with your kind!" she protested in frustration.

Again, he didn't expect that sort of reaction from the woman. Most parents, mothers especially, would have taken comfort in the knowledge that their daughter had married the man she had children with. It was usually seen as the decent thing to do, especially in high societies—which the Harunos were clearly apart of—where maintaining a certain image was almost as vital as taking the next breath.

"She's the mother of my children," he reminded her. "Married to me or not, you're already mixed with my kind," he dismissed unconcernedly.

Mebuki looked to be in deep thought for a moment before she threw her head back and laughed, "So the reason we haven't heard any wedding bells ringing for you and that Sabaku heiress is my home wrecker of a daughter?" it was more of an account than a query.

Of course she would have known about that, the entire Konoha knew. But being a journalist had its perks so he couldn't help but wonder just how much she knew.

Still, cold fury barreled through him and Neji felt his blood pressure rising dangerously but battled to bring his seething anger under control. Nothing could be done to quell the protective surge that came from nowhere rational, and on the back of it came the heavy sinking weight of realization—he knew why he felt inordinately solicitous of Sakura's name.

"I don't appreciate you referring to my wife in such derogatory terms," he fixed Mebuki with a look that truly did justice to the snow colour of his eyes. It was utterly cold, utterly ruthless.

She looked away for a second and ran an impatient hand through her short hair, leaving it disheveled. When she spoke her voice rang with bitterness. "You were the one that bestowed the title on her!" she crossed her arm and asked tightly. "How do you think it will look to the press when this comes out?"

He took an oddly quivering breath, the full import of her question hitting him suddenly. They had never really given the prospect much of a thought. But surely they hadn't expected their marriage to be kept under wraps for five years. "Then I will deal with the consequences—alone."

Mebuki looked at him sharply, as if she'd heard something in his voice, and Neji felt a little strange suddenly, as if everything was coming from far away. He heard her mutter something unintelligible, and before he knew it she had taken a reluctant Taro from his arms.

"Do you not realize the harm this could do to Sakura's image?" her voice was gruff, scraping across his exposed nerves. "Why would do something as reckless as this?"

He stuck his hands deep in his pockets and said tersely, "I didn't know that wanting my sons to be born in wedlock was a reckless decision."

Taro fidgeted in her embrace and she smoothed his hair, in an attempt to get him to relax. "Have you ever heard the saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions?"

He kept his eyes on her but could feel his anger turning into something much more vulnerable than he cared to admit under her steely glare. "What are you implying?" Arrogant derision marked his features.

"This is about salvaging pride," her eyes glittered fiercely, unpleasantly. "I cannot imagine it being treated as anything else, other than a legal arrangement. I'm just wondering how long before the novelty wears off and this marriage is dissolved."

A muscle pulsed in his jaw and Neji went very static inside. For a moment he debated with himself on whether or not he should try to correct her very accurate assumptions. He instead chose to hold his tongue, allowing a curious wave of stillness to wash around them.

"Let's not fool ourselves; the only good that will ever come from this union came before it was established," her were eyes enigmatic and unreadable. "You have no genuine interest in my daughter and she'd be a fool not to realize it."

An unhappy wail followed her words, Taro wanted to be put down.

Neji's heart seemed to have stopped and time stood still—as cliché as it may seem—at the realization that Sakura could very much be pregnant and some more _'good' _was probably on the way. "We should be going," he said, suddenly in a hurry to go home to discover his fate.

It was clear coming here had been a mistake.

"We just got here," Naruto complained with a heavy sigh, "Jiro wants to stay for supper, don't you?" he began ticking the baby's round belly.

Mebuki turned to the two, Jiro's giggles making her smile. She lost herself in his darling grin and ran her fingers through Taro's soft hair. "Don't be ridiculous Hyuuga, I haven't been properly introduced to my grandbabies," she snuggled him closer, imprinting his scent in her memories.

And for once, Taro endured it all with good humor, taking his own turn investigating the woman's nose and mouth with his tiny fingers.

"It's clear that I have worn out my welcome and I—"

"Nonsense," she said hastily. "You're family regardless of how you came to being," she acknowledged grudgingly.

"—need to get home, Sakura hasn't been feeling well," Neji finished lamely.

"Is she ill?" she quizzed, unconcealed concern on her face. "What's wrong with her?"

Neji didn't think it was in his place to say nor did he want to offer the woman any reassurance, so he shrugged his shoulders. She deserved to fret.

"At least let Kizashi get a look at them before you go," she suggested finally.

Neji rolled his eyes inwardly. He had at least expected her to try and coax an answer out of him regarding Sakura's health but she had simply dropped it like it was hot. And he meant it in the most apathetic and nonsexual way possible, contrary to what the quotation typically alluded to.

"Very well then," he compromised casually.

"Rika!" Mebuki suddenly called out, startling the twins most of all.

A young brunette girl dressed in white came rushing in at the woman's beck and call. She gave Neji the kind of star-struck look a famous celebrity might have received for an unannounced visit.

"Good evening," she bowed her head in greeting.

"Oui Rika, you're beginning to fill out your nurse's uniform nicely!" Naruto exclaimed.

The girl's face drained of whatever colour the Hyuuga's presence had obviously placed there.

"Uzumaki-san," she returned politely, but Neji had seen the familiar exchange of grins between the two.

As if Jiro had read his father's mind, he slapped Naruto across his head, drawing his dark brows together in a testy little scowl.

"What did I do?" Naruto chuckled. But that laughter later boiled down into a low growl when he realized that he had come under the reproachful scrutiny of Jiro's evil half. "What are you looking at?"

Cue the apocalypse.

Taro cracked a smile at Naruto.

And the smile read, '_that's for Aunty Hinata, you son-of-a-bitch.'_

"Is my husband awake?" Mebuki enquired brusquely.

"Yes, ma'am," Rika nodded. "He has just finished his supper."

"Thank you, that will be all," she informed the girl who quietly excused herself. "Right this way then…" Neji and Naruto were instructed.

They were led up a winding staircase then down a windowless corridor of marble and mirrors, with inset niches, each one containing a carefully lit piece of stone artwork. The entire house was a work of art in itself, Neji recognized. Everything was so polished and sterile; it was hard not to appreciate the stunning design.

Mebuki stopped just outside a door and turned to Neji, "Maybe you should wait out here," she touched his arm.

Neji arched a brow at her.

"He mustn't have any shocks or upsets right now. He's on a waiting list for heart surgery," she explained in an urgent undertone.

"What?" he asked without thought.

"Your uncle denied him surgery so we had to find a state hospital and they've put him on a long waiting list!" she hissed, torn between anxiety, anger and the need to behave civil.

Neji's eyes widened a fraction, his anger mounting. All roads led to Hiashi, as always. "What happened?"

"We couldn't come up with the money quickly enough," her gaze went to her feet, her voice a little broken. "But now…" she turned up her nose as she spoke, "…I'm almost certain it had something to do with our unworthy daughter snatching his prized nephew," she attached a sarcastic bite to the word _unworthy_.

Hiashi was a professional man, Neji would grant him that much. He never allows his personal life to filter out into his work. It couldn't be true, could it? Was Neji yet again the cause of Haruno distress?

"Just wait here," she breathed, ushering Naruto into the room.

When the door cracked open, Neji had a perfect view of Kizashi Haruno. The older man's face was an unhealthy colour, his raspy breathing audible even from where Neji stood outside the room. He was wired up to a monitor and his pink locks looked to have been dramatically reduced in mass even though Neji had never seen the man before.

Before the door closed in his face he heard the man cough, "Whose munchkins are these?"

In the pulsing silence that he found himself in, Neji tried not to ponder too much on the news of Hiashi's latest antics. Had he really denied the man his surgery because of his affiliation with Sakura? Or was it simply a matter of financial position? Though looking around, Neji could hardly believe that the Harunos were unable to foot a hospital bill—however large it was likely to be, because the services of Hiashi's staff did not come cheap.

Neji supposed he now understood the woman's initial belligerence to him, but it only mildly lifted the impression that she was abrasively controlling. And she was far too perceptive and judgmental for Neji's liking.

What did she mean by him not having a genuine interest in her daughter?

If he didn't, he wouldn't have visited in the first place—wouldn't have acted so polite even when his Hyuuga upbringing was dictating that he should not. He wouldn't have come with the intention of mending something that was so broken the pieces were foreign to each other. Nope, he would have left them in the dark about their grand children, leaving it up to some lousy tabloid to drop the bomb on them.

If he didn't care, he wouldn't have done half the things he had for her daughter, inclusive of a number of demeaning feats; giving her a bath and cooking her dinner, to name a few. He'd never swallowed his pride for anyone, not in the way he had for Sakura—repeatedly.

If he hadn't her best interest at heart, he would never have fought to get her into medical school. He'd never have spent big money to ensure her a glittering career. Nope, he would've left her to seek employment at some cheap diner, waiting tables and washing dishes.

Anyone could easily argue that he had only done some of those things because he wanted her to be up to par with the standards expected of the wife of Hyuuga Neji. But had his ambitions not been pure from the very beginning, he would never have married the damn girl. Hell, he would have taken her to court, obtained full custody of his sons and the rest would have been history. It would have been easy too.

But he hadn't.

So when her mother was going to question his intentions, he felt affronted.

Above all, he would never in his wildest dreams, have forsaken his family for a woman if he didn't—

The door clicked open again, Mebuki stuck her head out, "Come on in Hyuuga," she commanded in a light tone.

The ensuing awful silence, that followed Neji's entrance unsettled him a little, he did not know how to fill it, and it cut at his nerves like a slashing whip. He could do nothing to suppress the guilt that crept up along his spine as he looked at the terribly aged man and his various tubes.

"Well come on over here, let me get a good look at my son-in-law," Haruno Kizashi suggested, striving to give Neji a reassuring smile from blue-tinged lips as Mebuki squeezed his hand affectionately.

He wordlessly complied.

"A handsome boy he is," the man commented.

"Well the twins had to get their good looks from somewhere," Mebuki commented dryly.

Neji took the compliment as a grave insult because it had been an indirect jab at Sakura.

"There's a hint of our little girl in there," Kizashi declared, reaching a hand up to stroke Taro's chubby cheeks. The brat turned his face away and Neji had never wanted scold him this much before. "He's definitely a Hyuuga alright," the man commented, chuckling—coughing, it was a little bit of both.

"Don't mind him," Naruto said quickly, mistaking the elder's recoiling hand as a sign of being stung by Taro's actions. "Sakura slapped him for being mean to his brother earlier; it's probably the pink hair that's causing the resentment."

Kizashi chucked some more, his blue eyes crinkling, "Is that right little fellow? Did your mommy really do that?"

Taro's eyes seemed to have gone teary at the memory but he remained quiet, leaving Jiro to babble off as though he were giving an account of the entire incident.

Mebuki rubbed Taro's back, "Adorable little things aren't they?" she asked her husband.

He agreed with a weak smile, "So Sakura went ahead and married a Hyuuga huh?" he sent Neji a calculating glance but it wasn't unpleasant neither was the statement that followed. It was jovial and somewhat mocking. "And here I thought we were done with those people."

"I would just like to apologize on my uncle's behalf for any—" Neji started.

"Don't be ridiculous son, I can't condemn you for a crime you didn't commit," the man interposed, to Mebuki's obvious disgruntlement. "Now tell me, how's my little girl? She hasn't been giving you any trouble has she?"

Neji sighed deeply; trouble was but a gross understatement.

OoOoOoOo

She was pregnant.

Sakura was unable to take it in, even as she rolled out of bed and headed to the laundry room. Thinking of ways to drop the bomb on Neji was a stretch too far at the moment. She needed to do something with herself, or the endless wait for her babies' return was going to kill her.

It was already minutes to nine and she was sick with worry. She kept telling herself that there was no need to panic, no reason to fret, but Neji had never kept the boys out after dusk before. Her heart hardened at the thought of little Jiro and his ailment out in the night waft.

Her husband was going to get an ear full when he got home.

Sakura's hands worked frantically at the garments she collected from the dryer, her face growing flustered at the intimacy of handling Neji's clothes.

It was silly, but she couldn't help getting all hot under the collar whenever she came across his designer boxers and shorts.

She had done his laundry plenty a times before—of course Neji was unaware of this—but forgive her for wanting to experience some semblance of what a normal marriage might have entailed. She knew Neji would throw a tantrum if he knew exactly who was responsible for the shirts that hung in pristine perfection in his wardrobe, his changed bed linen, his vacuumed and dusted bedroom.

That's right, it was all Sakura's doing.

Just as she was making her third trip from the laundry room, to unpack the twin's clothes, the front door opened. She halted in her tracks, dropping the basket at the foot of the stairs rushing towards the incoming party.

She raised her arms in welcome as she advanced to take one of her sons. Murmuring in soothing tones, she plucked Jiro out of Neji's arms and cuddled him. Involuntarily she breathed in the familiar scent of him. Clean, warm and baby overlaid with a hint of something more elusive, and redolently feminine.

Her nose twitched a bit, assessing the alien smell. Her heart thrashed uncomfortably. As a spasm of horrid conclusions afflicted her, she squeezed her eyes tight shut. "Where the hell have you been?" she snarled, kissing her son's head.

"Quiet down, he's sleeping," Neji shot back before cringing. "And Taro needs a bath. What is the matter?" he suddenly demanded fiercely.

She forced her eyes open again, and it was then that she noticed the faint pink smudges of what could only be the imprint of lips on his cheeks. Pain like a poisonous dart pierced her chest. She felt absolutely sick, suspicion and jealousy making mincemeat of all rational thought.

He had been out with a woman, with her sons present.

"Is everything alright?" he clarified boldly.

She gave him a stricken look of condemnation, "Why don't you tell me?" she mumbled, refusing to look at him, staring into space with blank emerald eyes.

"Taro needs a bath," he repeated, drilling the order in her head. "He puked on himself."

"You took my sons out with you on some rendezvous with your mistress?" the blunt question just erupted from Sakura. It was inside her head, but she could not for the love of her, work out how it had slid from her mind and onto her tongue.

Neji studied her without expression. "Tell me you didn't just ask that?"

His eerie lack of reaction completely spooked her. She crimsoned, pinned her lips together and then opened them again, driven by an overwhelming need for reassurance. "It's no wonder you're hardly here," she said without hesitation, using her thumb to remove a glossy smear from Jiro's forehead. "Clearly someone else has been keeping you busy."

"Do not force me to lose my temper," he warned, very soft and low, narrowed his pale eyes, burning lavender between lush black lashes.

"Just leave my damn kids out of it—"

"Do you even have to wonder why I've been alienating myself?" he rasped. "Why would I put myself through the torture of having another woman when you're already driving me to my grave?" Neji asked with a feral flash of even white teeth which suggested that even making that admission went severely against the grain.

Sakura relaxed a little, "Well I can't help having suspicions when you take my sons home reeking of cheap perfume and covered in lipstick stains."

"If you must know," he sighed, making his irritation known. "I was visiting relatives. So quit acting so jealous, it's unattractive." he condemned with whiplash cool.

Utterly unprepared for the counter-attack, Sakura's soft mouth fell wide. All his self-preserving male antennae were working perfectly, she acknowledged at the lowest ebb of self-honestly. She was jealous, and no doubt would always be because jealousy thrived on insecurity. A marriage certificate did not ensure her ownership over Neji, body nor soul.

"And what the hell have you been doing?" he thundered at her accusingly, noting the basket of laundry she had disposed of earlier.

"I needed something to pass the time," she mumbled in bewilderment.

"Pass the time?" he roared back in apparent disbelief. "I pay people to do those things."

"Well I like doing it!" she remarked quietly. "It makes me feel closer to us."

Sudden silence fell.

"Don't say silly things like that," he told her flatly.

His words filled her with savage resentment but she tried to divert the anger down a different route. There was no use getting emotional around an unemotional man. "Look at the hour; they should be in bed by now!" she exclaimed. "Have you eaten?"

"I am not your concern," he spelt out gravely.

Sakura surveyed him with bitter, incredulous eyes. He was impossible. "Well then neither is Taro's mess," she bit out. "I'm going upstairs," she announced, realizing that Jiro was stirring back to full wakefulness.

She carried him upstairs to their large nursery, with its pale blue walls, decorated with sailboats, furnished with two dark cherry cribs, dresser and changing table. It was the most soothing room in the entire house, despite the litter of stuffed animal that crowded the window seat that overlooked the ocean, the baskets on the floor filled with playing blocks and the well-worn books that filled the shelves.

It was the only space in the house that actually looked lived-in. Loved.

She immediately set Jiro on the floor near the basket of toys and began refilling the draws with fresh laundry. A toy ambulance with a siren held his attention for as long as it took her to fill one drawer. After that he crawled to the low bookcase and began pulling out one story book after another.

Seeing the mess that he was making, she abandoned what she was doing and joined him on the floor.

"Who exactly has your daddy been kissing?" she asked, lifting the baby onto her lap and scanning the books.

Jiro shook his head in response.

Sakura laughed, "Your answer to everything is no," she released a gusty sigh and kissed the top of his head. "But I know you'd lie for him, you both would."

He bounced in excitement, pointing at a particular book.

Sakura picked it up, "Do you think I'm jealous?"

Jiro smacked the book with his hand and made impatient noises.

"You're just like your father," Sakura teased. "When it comes to talking about feelings, you're never interested in what I have to say."

He angled his head up to look at her, as if to say it wasn't true.

"Mommy's going to have another baby," she confided, rubbing his head. "I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, what do you think?"

He surprised Sakura by twisting himself in her lap and throwing his little arms about her middle.

Something like terrible sadness gripped her as she felt him nuzzling her tummy with his nose. Her heart skipped a complete beat and she gathered him to her chest, the emotional outburst she'd kept locked inside bursting free. Sobs wrenched at her and Jiro leaned away from his mother, cupping her face in his hand and studying her tear streaked face.

His shrilled shrieks erupted a few seconds after.

"Don't cry, sweetie. I'm so sorry," she cooed, rubbing his back. "I love you, my precious gem," she whispered feelingly. "Mommy's fine."

"What is going on?" Neji asked from the doorway, Taro frowned at the duo.

Sakura wiped her eyes quickly, "Bring that stinky baby over here," she suggested with a smile that didn't involve her eyes. "You're delaying their bath time," she said, with a pout she'd perfected just for Neji.

A look came over him that sent shivers pinging through her. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

You are.

At that stupid question Sakura was tempted to throw something at him. She had fallen hopelessly in love, more deeply in love than she had ever believed possible, and nothing had ever been the same since. He didn't love her, he possibly did not believe in love, and yet, she had made him aware of her feeling. She had given the ounce of such ego-boosting encouragement, that he could walked all over her, and take her feelings for granted the way he had back when it had been a mere infatuation.

Now she had no other chance than to accept how pitiful her love was, how hopelessly without foundation or any prospect of reciprocation.

"Is everything alright?" he asked again.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she rose to her feet, indicating that he was to follow as she made her way to the twin's bathroom. "You know, the university is having a formal dance next week, and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."

It was a pitiful and probably not the best attempt at trying to strike up a conversation but it was all she could come up with to stop herself from blurting out about the pregnancy.

Neji closed his eyes for several seconds of silence and then opened them. "I don't do dances."

"Oh," was all she managed to get out, and it wasn't even effective enough to conceal her disappointment because his flat out rejection had torn at her heart.

He stared at her.

"It's fine, I'll just take Ino," she brushed it off, but it was evidently killing her. Her voice had grown husky and she had to clear her throat. "She has been begging me to take her, anyway." She sounded desolate, more hurt than she had intended. And there was no mistaking the self-loathing, lacing her voice.

"Then it's settled," Neji finalized, running the bathwater while Sakura stripped the boys of their outfits.

Either they were both still energized from their trip or were just feeling riled up, whichever case it was, Sakura had one heck of a time trying to get them out of their clothes.

Taro pointed relentlessly to the small radio by the glass ledge of the face basin and Neji chuckled switching it on. Soulful music filtered through its speakers and the boy sent his father an appreciative grin. It was one condition he had for sharing bath time with his brother. And his parents knew the music was probably just to make Jiro's presence a little more tolerable.

Yes, Taro was just that insufferable and intelligent.

He liked music, so long as it wasn't loud and chaotic. It soothed him, made him pleasant.

Once they were seated in the water, splashing happily, Sakura sat down against the wall and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, following the boys' antics with only half her attention.

Trembling all over, she parted dry lips and muttered, "I'm pregnant."

"You're pregnant," Neji restated as though it was a thought that had never come his way before and innate caution was already telling him to shut up and not say another single sentence.

Watching the flare of volatile glint in his stunning eyes, the fierce cast of his superb bone structure, Sakura was shunned into reticence. Panic held in her in a stifling embrace, Neji was tightlipped and quiet.

For want of something better to focus on, the lyrics of the song playing in the background caught her attention. But the first few melodious lines shattered the pathetic scrap of whatever had remained of her heart.

_**You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?  
>What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose?<strong>_

"I understand that this is not what you wanted, but I can't get rid of it," she told him, her eyes stinging so hard she had to open them wide to hold the tears back.

"Get rid of it?" Neji swung back, "You clearly don't know what I want."

Sakura drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "And what is that?" she whispered painfully, suddenly sick and tired of all the subtleness. "Because I'm pretty sure you know what I want. I think you've always known."

Neji dealt her a grim appraisal in which his powerful personality loomed large. "But why's that?"

"Because I love you damn it!"

Something inside his chest stuttered. "You love me?"

"Yes."

"Like a friend?" he attempted to qualify.

"You know I don't love you like a friend!" Sakura flung at him in condemnation, feeling as though her entire soul was breaking inside her and hating him for not being able to feel what she felt.

"But I do," he declared.

Her face was a stiff mask of disbelief and if it hadn't been for Taro splashing water at her, she might have remained frozen like a statue forever.

Neji chuckled at the boy, "You might as well get used to the wet baths. There will be plenty." He lowered his gaze to her midsection as he said it.

She yanked a towel from the rack, another line of the song hitting too close to home.

_**What's the point in saying you love me like a friend?  
>What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?<br>**_

"I suppose we'll just have to extent the contract," he breathed, squaring his broad shoulders in the face of his inner conviction that life as he knew it had been slaughtered.

Neji saw the shimmering moisture in her eyes and felt a hand grab at his insides. Her hormones were no doubt all over the place and he wasn't helping things by reacting on impulse instead of thinking before he spoke.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Sakura prompt thinly.

He expelled his pent-up breath in an impatient hiss. "It means that you will be my wife much longer than either one of us wants."

Sakura almost burst into a rage as big as a bonfire. She went lurching from total shock at the speed with which he brought up the contract when she had never imagined he would have mentioned that fatal word after the conception of a third child. Wasn't that fate-sealing enough? And then she truly listened and what she heard inflamed her beyond belief.

"Much longer than you want," she corrected him pointedly.

Neji went very still. Dense black lashes dropped low, spectacular eyes betraying only a glint of ferocious tension tightening his pale skin over his fabulous bone structure. "Do not bring up something you will come to regret."

"Much longer than you want," she repeated with perfect truth. "I love you to the point of it being a flaw and you probably knew it before I did! You knew exactly why I wanted to marry you. Yet you treated it like a big black secret you won't acknowledge, but I won't live a lie, Neji."

_**You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake  
>You're a coward to the end<strong>_

Utterly drained by that stark baring of her own tormented emotions, Sakura got up from the floor, plucked Jiro from the water and wrapped him in a thick towel. It was when she cuddled him against her that she realized her mistake—it had been Taro.

He beamed up at her.

"I realize I'm far from your ideal trophy wife and that a lot of things I do and say must irritate you. But at least I am—"

"Trophy wife?" he all but laughed in her face. "Sakura if I knew what attracted me to you, the attraction would have died a long time ago. But I believed your appeal was related to the simple fact that I knew you were carrying _my _child," he admitted.

"Yes?" she conceded breathlessly, with the aspect of a woman struggling to take a serious academic interest in a confession that had flung her brain into a spiral.

"You knew what we both signed up for. I can't give you what you want," Neji launched with positive savagery.

"But with a little effort you could make a reasonable stab at respect, if not anything else. Because if you don't," Sakura whispered jaggedly, torn in two with the pain and the regret he had so accurately forecast she would feel, "I'll stop loving you and love is all you have to hold me. I will not be your doormat."

_**I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit  
>No, I'm not the type that you like<br>Why don't we just pretend?**_

She was in a complete daze. The shock at how emotional she was being and the things he had said hitting her all at once. She was shaking all over.

"Doormat?" Neji grounded out. "I've never treated you like a doormat."

"Not in the sense you're thinking," she breathed unevenly. "And I appreciate everything you've done for me but there are other things that mean so much more, like respect and affection. All you do is give me material things to boost your ego because you can't cope with emotional demands and—"

"I can't cope?" his lilac eyes slammed into hers as hostile as a physical assault.

"Well obviously! All you do is fight us," she was a little reluctant to make the assumption, but the delivery was incisive.

"What is there to fight?"

Sakura flinched as if he had cracked a whip over her, feeling like a child being told off for bad behaviour.

The song played on.

_**Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh  
>I can't let you go, can't let you go oh<br>I just want it to be perfect  
>To believe it's all been worth the fight<br>Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh**_

Sakura struggled with the question and finally managed to swallow the enormous lump in her throat. "Look at our beautiful children!" she hissed. "With another on the way, I'm amazed you question what's there to fight?"

He stared blankly at her.

"If there hadn't been anything, we wouldn't have been here in the first place!" Sakura breathed tightly as Neji's silence stretched and stretched. "You may not see something to fight, but we have something to fight for."

"Let's not kid ourselves Sakura, we both know that our children were drunken mistakes," Neji made that incendiary reminder without hesitation. His face was serious when he added, "On both occasions."

At that awful moment of truth, she felt her heart shrivel a little inside her. Sakura clutched at her chest, her pain indescribable—because his raw words hit home with the precision of an arrow. Her face leached of all colour at the shocking revelation that not only Neji, but also the lyrics of the song vocalized.

_**You only ever touch me in the dark  
>Only if we're drinking can you see my spark<strong>_

Sakura met his eyes, everything around her swirling slightly. "I won't live like this," she breathed with terrifying quietness. "I refuse to be a pawn in this loveless sham."

"Love turns to hatred easily. It never lasts," Neji murmured.

"It lasts for people who give it a chance," she argued, engaged in drying Taro's wet hair. But she gathered courage from not being forced to meet Neji's unsettling gaze. "And if we're not going to be one of those people, I want out."

Having expected an immediate response at her declaration, Sakura looked up in the resounding silence which followed. He was as cold as ice. Utterly unmoved.

Neji was staring back at her with penetrating and grim eyes. "I'm not giving you a divorce," he said before she could say another word.

Her face reddened with annoyance, "I want our contract terminated."

He had gone very still, light eyes narrowing into watchful and wary arrows of light in his growingly menacing face. "You're carrying my child."

"And your point is?" she asked him tautly. "I was wrong to have married you during my first pregnancy and I would be a fool to stay married to you solely because of a second one."

His brow furrowed with confusion.

"You don't want to be married to me and I am more than happy to give you your freedom back," she said carefully, alarmingly awake to the angry tension emanating from his tall, commanding figure.

_**And only in the evening could you give yourself to me  
>Cause the night is your woman, and she'll set you free<br>**_

"Freedom is a state of mind Sakura. I see no reason why this marriage should make the slightest difference to my life," he returned with grating assurance.

She was momentarily silence by that sweeping statement.

"You are my wife, and the mother of my children. I suggest you get used to those facts of life," Neji completed, studying her in angry, intimidating challenge.

A bemused look sat on Sakura' face and her lashes fluttered. The tip of her tongue crept out to nervously moisten the taut fullness of her bottom lip. "I don't understand…" she whispered, because the very atmosphere seemed to sizzle, warning her of the rise in tension. Suddenly she was finding it very difficult to breathe.

"Do you ever?" he shot back in a low, grating undertone.

"Not always," she agreed dryly. "But I've come to understand that you always detach yourself from anything that requires you being emotionally involved. Like your family."

Sakura gulped. He looked positively intimidating, a muscle beating in his tight jaw, glaring down at her.

"Do not bring Hiashi into this," his voice was unbearably harsh, the lines in his face tightly drawn.

_**You're too proud to say that you've made a mistake  
>You're a coward to the end<strong>_

"You should be grateful you have someone that would go to such lengths for you!"

Something indecipherable flashed across his face for a moment, before it became a smooth hard mask again. "And you don't?" he shot back, appalled that she'd actually look at the situation in such a light when his uncle had been nothing but a brute to her.

Taro pounded on Sakura's chest in frustration.

"What is it sweetheart?" she asked blindly. Her grip loosened as it dawned on her that perhaps she had been clutching him too tightly against her. "I'm sorry baby, did mommy hurt you?"

He frowned in response.

Neji chuckled at this, but the sound was jarred. "They've drenched you," his eyes flicked up and down her soaked shirt, but she knew he was trying to avoid the looming conversation. "I suggest you go ahead and change, I can't have you catching a cold."

Family was a touchy subject and she hated having brought it up in the first place. It was a little ridiculous, but until Neji sought to resolve his issues with his family she would make no attempts at reconciliation herself.

"Don't pretend to give a damn," she muttered, her insides tying black knots. "You don't care about me, not as a person—just as a vessel."

He looked at her with an expression so dispassionate it was almost worse than him admitting to seeing their bond as only platonic. "Believe what you want Sakura."

"I want to believe that we can make this work, but that's wishful thinking." Numbness spread through her, taking the pain to another place. "We're two very different people with different ideals."

_**I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit  
>No, I'm not the type that you like<br>Why don't we just pretend?  
><strong>_

Neji's eyes flashed, and he stood there for a long moment regarding her.

Sakura bit her lip, tensed her jaw—anything to stop the awful burning emotion from erupting from her chest. The backs of her eyes stung hotly, and she knew it would only be a matter of time before she completely lost her shit.

The lyrics of the song were setting her teeth on edge.

It only served to further rip away her fragile, nebulous hopes and dreams, making her hate the man with an intensity that truly sacred her.

"Turn that thing off or I'll fucking hurl it at you," she warned doggedly.

"Stop getting so worked up, you're frightening them," Neji commanded deflatingly, as he tried to dry Jiro who was wriggling and stretching his arms out at Sakura.

Taro scowled at his brother, latching onto Sakura more firmly.

He was not going to share his mommy.

Upon witnessing the infant's bahaviour, she had to ask, "What example are we setting for them when we're constantly at each other's throats? It no surprise they're always fighting."

"We don't fight," Neji denied.

"No. I fight," she stressed with gritty exactitude. "All you do is ignore me, which is far worse,"

"I've never ignored you. My sole concern has always been your well being."

_**Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh  
>I can't let you go, can't let you go oh<br>I just want it to be perfect  
>To believe it's all been worth the fight<br>Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh  
><strong>_

If it wasn't for Jiro being in his arms Sakura would have flung the radio at Neji in that moment. She had however, flipped up the lid of the lavatory with the tip of her toes, dropped the radio in the watery bowl and stalked out of the bathroom.

It was like the song had specifically been written as the anthem of her life. It couldn't be coincidental that the lyrics spoke so accurately of her dilemma, could it?

One thing was for certain though—she bristled as she got Taro into his night wears—there would be absolutely no more music during bath time.

OoOoOoOo

The next two weeks went by like nothing had happened, but Sakura noticed she saw littler of Neji over that time. But he had made it his appointed duty to accompany her on the two appointments she had during the time span. She remembered how his granite features had softened for the space of a heartbeat, reminding her of how he'd looked the first time they had taken an ultrasound when they discovered the twins.

It was easy to pretend that he was just like any other concerned husband, even though she knew that was far from the truth. She was simply the female figurehead who would play the role of mother to his children. The contract made it abundantly clear. So whenever he expressed any concern over her being sick, it was simply because he was worried about the health of the baby.

That was why she hadn't given much thought to the multitude of urgent question he had bombarded the doctor with.

Yet, the silly, stupid, wishful girl that she was, had soaked in his attentiveness. It was humiliating to love him so much when she knew that he would have gotten rid of her if his conscience and pride would allow it. Even more humiliating was the fact that she couldn't kill her love for him. And he couldn't kill the love she felt either, though he was doing good job of trying.

He still took the twins out on their frequent secret excursions, and on each occasion they all came back just as they had the first time—covered in female scents and lipstick.

It was grating on her nerves.

Just exactly who the hell had been kissing him when he wouldn't give her the time of the day?

Despite him getting used to the idea of her being pregnant—he had to be, because he kept a miniature version of his daughter's ultrasound photo in his wallet—he was still avoiding her. He seemed to be throwing himself into his work until he fell into bed exhausted. Most nights she stumbled across him sleeping on the couch in his study. Even in sleep she could see the lines of strain around his mouth, and on the rare occasions when his eyes met hers during waking hours they had a haunted shadowed look.

"Don't you have that dance thing tonight?"

Sakura hoisted Taro in her lap with a start. She had been reading the boys a story, or at least, making the story of her life out to be like one of the fairytales they were fond of. It was sappy and pathetic and she couldn't help but wonder how long Neji must have been standing at the door, listening.

"Ino bailed at the last moment," she told him, averting his eyes. "Plus I feel like crap."

"It'll wear off," he said walking into the room, noting the toys scattered about. He was about to ask about Jiro's whereabouts when he saw a pair of tiny legs dangling out of the treasure chest toy box.

"That's easy for you to say," she looked at him this time. His hair was damped, suggesting that he must have just showered and it had a tendency to curl when it was wet. The sight struck her as adorable, a ridiculous term to use for someone as vigorously masculine as her husband. "You won't be fat in a couple of months," she shot at him shakily.

Butterflies swirled in her midsection at the way he overpowered the generous space with his strong personality and commanding form. But those butterflies felt like vampire bats, she thought to herself, trying to shake the nausea. She felt out of sorts.

"I didn't know treasure chests came with legs," Neji laughed, grasping the boy's idle feet and pulling him up for a toss in the air.

He squealed in delight upon seeing his father.

"Or were you just trying to drown out the sound of your mother's horrible tales?" he questioned the tot.

Sakura couldn't keep the blush from rising, no matter how much she scowled. And when Jiro shook his head at Neji she couldn't help but think he meant it as a _yes_.

"I'll have you know that I tell great stories," she said dignifiedly.

Jiro's giggles were nothing but a sign of begging to defer.

"Have you been feeling alright lately?" Neji enquired, joining her on the floor. "The doctor said you were to keep off your feet for a while."

"Does it look like I am on my fucking feet to you?" she found herself snapping.

Jiro removed the toy sailor from his mouth and arched a brow at his mommy for his father, whose face had deadpanned.

"What did I tell you about the use of such language around the boys?" Neji asked calmly, his jaws tight with irritation.

"What did I tell you, blah blah blah…" she drawled mockingly, grimacing. "Stop treating me like a child," she spelt out through gritted teeth.

"When you stop acting like an adolescent who doesn't want to grow up then maybe I will."

Taro suddenly broke free of Sakura's clutches and crawled enthusiastically towards Neji, a bit of a drool glistening on his chin. "Da!"

Her heart stopped and the long breath she took would have inflated her lungs to the point of bursting under normal circumstances. But her son had just acknowledged Neji as his Da! It was the sweetest, most precious moments of all.

"Da!" he said again, sitting before the man, his arms outstretched in an impatient demand.

Neji was frozen, his stoic mask chipping away bit by bit like a crumbling iceberg.

Sakura smirked. Her so sophisticated and immensely self-assured husband looked anything but that at the moment. And it somehow made him seem breathtakingly human. She glowed inside at the notion.

"You idiot!" she whacked him across his head. "Are you going to pick him up?"

He did just that, crushing the infant against his chest and kissing his head. "Da..." Neji resounded. "I like the sound of that."

Obviously not accustomed to such mushy behaviour from his daddy, Taro began to fidget and make squirming noises until he was released.

"Come here Jiro," Sakura called, patting her lap. "Now I want you to say Ma!"

Neji got to his feet again, hauling her up with him. "Jealous much?" he taunted but noticed her slight stumble and put his arm around her waist. "How long have you been sitting there? You need to get your blood circulating."

Sakura settled against his hold helplessly, pain gripping her like a large fish hook. She placed a hand against her abdomen, her skin breaking out in clamminess.

"Sakura?" Neji gripped her by both arms. "What's the matter?"

She bit down on her lip as another cramp clawed at her. "I've been having cramps," she explained. "Something's not right Neji..." her legs began to fold but he caught her in time.

He scooped her up in his arms, shouting for the housekeeper.

Sensing that something was wrong with their mother, the boys released long sorrowful little wails. It was the last thing Sakura remembered along with the pain and Neji's ashen features.

Then nothing…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I've had complaints about the length of the last chapter so I've made this one longer. I hope it was worth the read. The song made reference to was ****Lies by Marina and the Diamonds.**** It is an amazing song brought to my attention by an avid Guilty Passion reader and dear friend, who thought it was the theme song for the story and I think she just might be right :)**

**If you want to truly get the feel of the angst in that bathroom scene between Sakura and Neji, then I would suggest you give the song a listen. It is absolutely beautiful!**

**Inspiration spurs creativity…and a speedier updates =^.^=**

**Thanks for reading. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

On numb legs, Hyuuga Neji paced the outside of his wife's room. He could feel the acrid fear and panic that had seized his innards. His expressive mouth tightened as he contemplated barging in—going to her.

But his steps faltered, a slicing pain ripped him, stunning him with its intensity, with its rawness and he suddenly felt older than his years. Sakura didn't want him in the room, the doctor had informed him. He had also said that there was nothing he could do. Nothing anyone could do.

He took a deep breath.

He had to get it together.

Had to be in control and above all, calm.

But the shock had detonated his brain, leaving his control tenuous and himself verging on full-blown hysteria. With every passing second, his sanity slipped a little further down the path of non-existence.

He had tried seeking comfort in his sons—tried to run down the clock by staying with them—tried to let them distract him from everything that was happening. But they were far too intuitive to miss his nervy state and so he only ended up frightening them.

In fact, being in the nursery had tormented the Hyuuga further. Despite its airiness, Neji had felt claustrophobic standing within the room. The walls seemed to have been closing in on him, like everything else in his life.

Taro had been particularly miserable, not wanting to be put down but Jiro hadn't wanted to be touched. He laid quietly in one corner of his crib, holding a stuffed animal to his chest. Neji had arched a concerned brow at this, especially since that specific one had been bought for him by his mother. It seemed almost as if the boy was holding on to the broken promise of something that was out of his grasp.

Neji frowned to himself at the memory as he continued to walk holes in the floor outside the door. His face remained stark, until the doctor came out. The man's face was graver. Neji looked at him, his expression haggard.

"Can I see her?" his asked hastily, in a voice that was far too pitchy to be his own.

The doctor shook his head slowly, in an effort to ensure Neji than got the message clearly. "She doesn't want to see anyone."

In that instant he felt so out of sync with himself that it took great restraint not to grab the man by his scruffs. "What do you mean she doesn't want to see anyone?" he demanded.

The man frowned slightly. "It's quite normal; the disruption of hormones takes a toll. I would advise that you adhere to her wishes."

Neji grunted.

"We've sedated her so she'll be resting for some time." He gave a heavy sigh, a look of sincerity claiming the cold grey of his eyes. "I'm really sorry for your lost," he was quiet for a thoughtful second. "Has she suffered any recent trauma?" he asked curiously.

"No, she hasn't." He still didn't sound like himself. In fact when Neji chanced a look down at his hands, he half expected to see another's in their place. They might as well have belonged to someone else, they were shaking violently, bloodless and blue-veined.

The doctor flipped a page on his clip board and jotted down something. "What's your wife's occupation?"

"She's a medical student."

He nodded, twisting his mouth in understanding. "And would you say that she manages both her studies and home well?"

Neji quirked up a brow, with each question his reserved patience depleted by volumes it hadn't. "What has that got to do with anything?" he asked carefully, in an attempt to quell his mounting anger.

The man scrubbed the back of his wrist against his forehead in exasperation and pinned Neji will an accusing glare that had the effect of a spear piercing the Hyuuga's chest. "I've prescribed some anti-depressants for her…" he tore the white sheet from his clipboard, handing it to Neji. "…but some things can't be made better with medication."

And with that said, he took his leave, saying he would return to check on her in the morning.

Never one to take lightly to being told what to do, Neji forced his unwilling legs into Sakura's room. A nurse was there, the low light beside her chair was the only illumination. The woman made to protest but Neji held up a silencing hand and went to look at Sakura.

His stomach folded over unpleasantly, especially with the doctor's last words ringing in his head. Words that had eviscerated him at what they insinuated.

The stone that lodged itself in his throat when the tragedy started to unfold was choking him now. Horror swept over him. More than horror, more than devastation.

Something flipped deep inside him at the sight of her motionless body. Her skin was the haunting shade of demise—had it been a colour. Something frighteningly fierce jabbed at him the moment the thought came across his mind. It left a very uncomfortable ache in his chest that asphyxiated every breath he took afterwards.

The lines that were etched deep into her face, her sweated brows and matted pink hair were unsightly indicators of how close death had come to claiming her. How close he had come to losing her. There were tear tracks on her pale cheeks and she looked to have lost a few pounds in the last couple of hours.

He stood for some time, looking down at her. She did not stir. The rise and fall of her chest was hardly discernible. Her parched lips were slightly parted, the air scarcely passing between them.

He stared down at her, not feeling—or perhaps not knowing how to feel.

He only knew that the balance in his life had shifted with the knowledge that his unborn child had paid the price of a debt he owed.

One he owed to this woman.

He went on gazing down at her unconscious form, enduring the guilt that skewered through him will masochistic consent. He had never felt this hopeless before; for once he couldn't throw money at or ignore an issue for it to go away. And it killed him to know that he had gone about thinking overpriced medical services could have guaranteed his child a future. Consequently he failed to protect the one thing he swore to keep sheltered away from the cruelties of life.

Then again, how could he have effectively protected something that he had unknowingly been a threat to? How could he have known that the cruelties of life he so fervently condemned had been his own self?

But should he be pointing fingers? At himself, as the doctor had done? These things were usually just nature's way of saying that the timing wasn't right. And contrary to popular belief, there is no medical information that suggests stress causes miscarriages. Sakura would have to had to be under some kind of extreme stress to provoke a result such as this.

Still...emotion, inchoate and shapeless, heaved within him.

His little girl was gone.

He had never suffered such a loss before, not even with Hizashi's passing. Perhaps he had taken comfort in knowing that the man had lived a long and happy life. His daughter on the other hand, would never take her first breath, would never know the love that would've undoubtedly been hers and hers alone.

He would never hold her.

Never know what she would be like.

This was the reason he didn't like getting attached to anything, even a mere notion. Nothing ever lasted, nothing was ever certain. And for those fleeting weeks that he had gotten used to the idea of a daughter—had actually allowed himself to want another child, she was callously snatched away.

Neji continued to stare down at Sakura, all eyes and weighty heart and pummeled feelings. Out of a place he scarcely gave credence to, emotion poured through him. Overwhelming him with the fiercest, most overpowering urge to wrap her small body to him, to enfold her and protect her—always. The way he hadn't protected their baby.

It shook through him, and he knew it for what it was. It was unasked for, but it had come all the same. And he would, he knew, be in its power all his days.

"Excuse me sir, but you can't be in here," the nurse told him, trying to keep her gaze polite. "I have been given very strict instructions not to let you in this room."

"The last time I checked, you worked for me. Not the other way around," Neji iced out.

The nurse stomped her feet and folded her arms. Cold, rude, arrogant swine, she mentally tossed after him in stinging frustration. "Sir, I'll have to ask you to leave."

He arched a challenging brow at her, his voice sharp enough to slice metal sheets, "On what grounds?"

"On the grounds of further aggravating the patient," she answered, rubbing her hand up and down the length of her arms nervously. "She had specifically said that she didn't want to see you."

He stiffened, each well toned muscle in his long lean framework abruptly tightening up. He was blindingly livid at the reminder but even more so, something that vaguely felt like hurt was beginning to prick at his nerve endings. However, he was resolute. This was his damn house, she was his damn wife and he would not leave her side.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura awoke to full and instant consciousness after thirty two hours of complete oblivion. Whatever she had been injected with had not stalled her memory. Or sight, she acknowledged grimly, for Neji was the first thing that came into focus as her eyes adjusted to the brightness. His tall figure was silhouetted against the slatted blinds through which shards of sunlight were knifing. He didn't say anything, and he seemed tense.

She saw him steeling himself, before he spoke. "I'm so sorry."

She heard the words, let them hang in the air. Let them hang like the lies they were. Neji was not sorry—how could he be? No baby meant no extension to their contract, something he had openly shared his resentment about. He must be thanking the heavens for this reprieve.

Her face contorted at the thought. Emotion was tearing through her—emotion that had been contained, and which now wouldn't stop pouring, tearing through her.

Anguish trammeled through her body, melting the ice and turning it into tears because she could not deny that his fatalist personality would make him see this misfortune as the rectification of the wrong they had done. Well, the sacrifice had been made, and Neji was free. But the price paid crushed guiltily down on her head and she knew she would never, ever be free of it.

Ice froze the silence between them as jeweled eyes locked with silver ones. She thought about screaming. She felt like screaming. Heart thumping, eyes burning, she pressed a clenched fist against her mouth to stop the choking sobs she could feel working their way up from her throat.

Her baby was gone.

She had bled every last ounce of her child's life out and with every drop of blood she had lost a little piece of herself—a piece of her soul.

He saw the tears and frowned, "I'm truly sorry," he murmured.

She turned her head away and stared at the wall. She didn't want to look at him, didn't want to speak to him.

He took her hand. She jerked it away violently, "Do not fucking touch me."

Shock etched through Neji and he did not try to take it again. "Sakura, please look at me, talk to me."

She shuddered at his wretched tone, but she knew it was a façade—pretence was the foundation upon which their relationship had been built.

Loathing filled her heart and yet, left her with nothing but emptiness. An emptiness like a terrifying chasm inside her. An emptiness that made her want to cry out and rail at the heavens, at fate, at nature, at the heartbreak that must have all conspired to convulse her womb.

"Leave me alone," she spat through gritted teeth.

An utterly tormented Neji stood there, looking down at her averted face. Helpless frustration filled him. She was shutting him out, turning away from him and there was no comfort he could give or take.

The knowledge left him disoriented, distraught and dysfunctional.

Albeit the emotional upheaval Sakura had physically gone through the miscarriage so it was likely that she would have taken a harder knock than he had. But he had taken a knock nonetheless and it would permanently be imprinted on his conscience.

The desolate hollowness inside him intensified, because there wasn't anything he could do make her feel better, nothing he could say, nothing that would take the pain away. On an impulse he reached his hand out—not to try and take hers again, but just to touch her hair. As he grazed one pink strand she flinched away from him, and he drew his hand back sharply.

"This is was what you wanted all along," she mumbled. "So don't pretend to be sorry."

Frustration welled in him again along with an emotion he did not dare recognize—didn't dare put a name to. "I'd never wish this on anyone Sakura."

"Get out Neji," her voice was very composed, very calm but it was a warning nonetheless.

Inside she was quivering. Inside she was feeling as if she'd stepped into an ice cold alien place. It was like life was a horrible movie that she was experiencing—watching from outside her body.

She heard him move. A door closed quietly. He had the decency to leave her alone with her misery and at last she let the first sob escape only to jerk and twist her head on the pillow just in time to see him coming to sit on the bed, beside her.

Her quavering gasp was lost in the arm he used to draw her up against his side. Eyes like clear diamonds framed by rich black velvet searched her face, a grimace touched his mouth. "Sakura, I never wanted this to happened."

"Do not speak to me Neji."

Self-reproach cut at her from every angle. Resentment that she had been complicit in being what she knew she had been to him, and yet had denied the cheap reality of it. Remorse that she had forced history to repeat itself, ended up pregnant and miscarried—and guilt, burning like acid on her skin, knowing that it was probably for the best that another child wasn't brought into their toxic and demeaning arrangement.

Trying to see things from a philosophical perspective did nothing to assuage for her though. In fact it worsened the guilt—guilt that she was attempting to justify her miscarriage as serendipity. Along with it came something that wounded like tentacles to her mind, taunting her with images she knew could never take the form of reality. A hundred, thousand images of a girl who could have been her daughter—like treacherous ghosts she wanted to banish, to ban, but could not. They came and came, tormenting her.

That future was gone.

And with a present that was broken beyond repair, Sakura could only dwell on the nightmares until they became seasoned enough to not trouble her anymore. For the mean time, they would serve to keep her unborn child close, and at the same time drive the baby away from her thoughts.

"This was my child too," Neji reminded her softly.

She pulled away from him so she could brush a stray tear from the corner of her eyes. Or she would have done, if one of his fingers hadn't got there before hers.

At the contact, a ragged intake of breath scissored through her lungs and she lost it, completely.

"I said not to fucking touch me!" She launched herself at him, hissing and scratching like a cat who just had cold water poured on it. In that moment she hated Neji so much that it felt like something monstrous was trying to claw its way out of her to slaughter him.

How dare he come in here pretending to feel anything other than relief? How dare he make a mockery of their situation like this? He never wanted this baby; the same as how he never wanted their boys—never wanted her. He simply got used to the idea of having them around.

So just maybe, their daughter had escaped the miserable fate that would have been waiting for her. Because regardless of how tender he was with Taro and Jiro, she had never once heard him tell them that he loved them. He always held something of himself back and if their sons hadn't won him over, then nothing was ever going to penetrate the fortress of his heart. Not now, not ever.

When she came back to reality, she realized that Neji had her in his arms, her back to his front, her wrist in his hands and her arms crossed over her rapidly rising and falling chest. They were both out of breath, the words of hate she had repeatedly hurled at him, fading into inaudible sobs. His lips were in her hair, just above her left ear and he was saying soothing words in his most patronizingly logical voice. It was a voice that drove her absolutely crazy with the desire to slap him across his face.

She fidgeted in his grasp, but he restrained her with his superior strength. "Take your hands off me; I've fucking had it with you!" The sob wracked through her body in fierce indignation.

She heard him mutter something about a prescription before he gingerly released her wrists and stepped away from her. She rubbed at them, even though he hadn't hurt her at all. In fact she seemed to have done most of the damage on both of them. A few of her nails were broken and her fists were bruised from the angry punches she had pounded against his hard body.

Anger that he had provoked her to violence stung her like a thousand bees. "Get out!"

"You need to calm down Sakura," he urged, his tone cautious, as though he thought any minute now she'd make another go at him. "Lie back down."

She complied, not because he instructed her to do so, but because her legs were starting to give way again. When she was comfortably snuggled beneath the warmth of her blanket, against the cold, she looked up at Neji and was shocked to realize that she had made him bleed.

"Get out," she commanded gruffly, noting the deep, angry looking scratches on his hands, neck and face. She took sadistic pride in her handy work. "Get the hell out!"

"We need to talk," he said curtly, rubbing his arm.

"God damn it Neji, I just want to be left a-fucking-lone!" she cried in exasperation.

Sakura was long past employing polite vocabulary. The only reason she had made an effort to keep her explosive tongue under wraps was because he detested the use of profanity, saying it was a pitiful attempt at filling one's deficiency with words.

But she was over trying to get on his good side, when he evidently did not have one.

She was tired of it, he brought out the worst in her and she was really starting to hate the person she was becoming as a result of loving him. Where was her self-respect? This man treated her with as much warmth as a refrigerator and she had blindly nursed the cold to degrees where it proved fatal.

Their relationship was starting to put a whole different kind of meaning to the saying _**'to love until death.' **_Because she truly despised Neji after being told her daughter's fate.

"Talk to me," he urged, a hint of a compressed shrill in his voice.

"I don't want to talk to you!" she shrieked hysterically. "I don't ever want to talk to you."

He hung his head down, dark hair falling into his face. "I'm very very sorry Sakura."

"I'm getting a little sick of hearing you say that," she hissed.

"Then what do you want me to say?" he met her gaze again, something different in his eyes, something that made them both glistened and sparkled in the literal and figurative sense respectively.

Sakura was unfazed. "I don't want you to say anything!"

"I know you think that I deserve this—"

She laughed without humor, "No. Had you wanted this child then it could be said that you deserved this."

He frowned, "What gave you the impression that I didn't?"

She stared at him with huge incredulous green eyes, "You don't want any of this Neji, you're simply becoming accustomed to having it," she pointed out bitterly, as-a-matter-of-fact.

"That's not true," he took umbrage, running an impatient hand through his hair as if it might help mitigate the sudden, swirling feelings threatening to implode within him. The look she gave him had cut right through him, leaving him opened and flayed.

"If it hadn't been for your pride, we wouldn't even be here," she said flatly.

"Well I guess you ought to be thanking my pride," he retorted with a harsh bite, but ended up regretting having opened his mouth, especially when Sakura didn't believe that he acknowledged or accepted the reality of their family.

And rightfully so, because at first he hadn't. He had felt that it would have threatened every emotional defense he'd erected over the years.

How right he had been. It completely demolished it, not bit by bit, not gently—but with the crash force of six stories built solely of metal coming down all at once.

He felt a surge of emotion rip upwards through him, stunning him yet again with its force because he had been relentless in suppressing it. It was an awful, angry and helpless feeling. And for a second it washed through him like a tidal wave, threatening to wipe away everything in its midst. He must have made her life an emotional hell...and for what?

The apparent crime of loving him, of wanting to be accepted by him.

What was even more disturbing in the wake of that thought was an urge so strong it was primal, visceral, and took him completely by surprise.

"I didn't mean it like that Sakura..."

It was the same instinctive feeling he'd had when he'd shunned her feelings because he thought they were the residue of the unreciprocated love she had felt for the Uchiha. But the feeling was altered somehow this time, now it was the need to rectify what had happened, to restore the balance.

It shook him up more than anything, because for the first time he had to admit to a yearning feeling for something he'd always vigorously denied.

The doctor's words came back to haunt him as he stood there, reeling.

His wife.

His child.

His fault.

"You think you're such a blessing to me don't you?" she growled but it didn't stop the tears from flowing, "Fuck it, I don't want to talk about this."

His gaze was uncertain and troubled, evidently struggling with something, "What do you want to talk about?" his voice was helplessly reluctant, like he had been debating with himself whether or not he should have spoken.

"I don't want to talk about anything. I just lost my baby," she breathed, trying to suppress a sob.

He put a possessive hand on her belly, and already she could feel a tingle of sensation prickling her skin. It hadn't been pleasant and it was more like crawling than anything else. "Our baby Sakura," he corrected.

"So its ours now?" she arched a testy pink brow. "Now that it is no more?" She wriggled, "Do not touch me."

"We can always try again," his voice was as unexpressive as a straight face drawn onto a rock.

Sakura stilled, and searched his face, thinking he sounded a little defeated. "Don't commit to things you don't want because..."

He shook his head, "I'm not, and I think if your track record of getting pregnant is anything to go by its only a matter of whether you want to or not."

Was that a flicker of humor in his unusually moist eyes?

She was absolutely taken aback, she stared aghast at him. Where did he get off thinking she would be content functioning as an incubator? And what gave him the impression that she'd want him putting his hands on her after today? Besides, if marrying her hadn't resolved the issues they initially had, why would having another child solve any of their steadily raising problems?

Leave it up to Neji to assume that a life couldd be replaced by another simply to fill the shoes previously left.

"Get your hand off me!"

"I'm serious Sakura, whatever you want..."

There is was again. That patronizing voice.

Her nostrils flared, "I don't want your pity," she bit out, pausing to let her anger recede. "But since you're being so insistent, I will be requiring your signature."

"Hn?"

"For the divorce papers," the silence of the room amplified her words. But she was dead serious.

OoOoOoOo

When Sakura woke again, the glass door that led out unto her balcony was opened. Sunlight and ocean breeze flooded her room, stirring the thin curtains and caressing the length of her bare arms, making her shiver a little.

If the numbness in her heavy limbs were any indication, her body had laid dormant for a couple of days. The beautiful beach tan she had acquired must have been a figment of her imagination because evidently her skin had never been graced by the sun.

She yawned and felt the taste of the afternoon cooling her tongue. The air was refreshing and tinged with the combined scents of various potted flora and the sea. The sound of distant waves crashing against rocks could be heard. She imagined how they rolled against blue, looking like white horses galloping towards the shore, especially since they sounded every bit like hooves pounding against the ground.

She felt a harrowing sense of déjà vu come over her at the sight of her insufferable husband. Her heart tripped before starting up again at double speed, and not in the way it usually had when she could actually stand him.

"Sakura?" His voice echoed inside her head, over and over again.

Slowly, very, very slowly, he started to walk forward, towards the side of her bed. At his approach she tensed even more, her head turning fearfully. Light, distended eyes stared down at her anxiously, his mouth trembling. Sakura felt her heart clench—with fury and with pain.

Seeing him right now was too much, as nebulous tendrils of revelations made her feel exposed. She forced the feeling down and immediately sat up, glaring daggers in his skull. "I thought I made it clear that you were to make yourself scarce."

"The boys have been asking for you," was the only explanation he gave for his unwanted appearance.

She scoffed at him, borrowing a line he had so often dropped on her. "Don't say silly things like that."

"In their little way, I suppose…" he sighed, rolling his shoulders languorously. "And Jiro hasn't been eating—" Neji broke off.

Sakura was staring at him, her eyes alert, huge in her face, which seemed painfully thin suddenly, grim and strained. Her beautiful hair was a lank and lusterless mess. "What do you mean he hasn't been eating?" she clutched a fist full of her sheet, her blood starting to run cold, her expression thunderous.

It was as if something had snapped, she lurched to her feet, rigid in every limb but swaying, as if she was no more substance than a piece of paper. Instinctively Neji's sprung into action, his hands going out to catch her.

His hands caught her shoulders to steady her.

Her reaction was as violent as it had been since the incident. She threw him off, moving backwards and stumbling on the edge of her bed. "I thought I had also made it clear that you were not to fucking touch me."

Neji had to admit that, rather than becoming immune to her newfound hostility, he shrunk a little inside each time even his smallest of gestures were met with stone cold rejection. "Calm down Sakura, I was only trying to help."

Her eyes flashed, chest heaving with emotion. "If you want to help, go get my damn child and bring him to me."

She never expected Neji to scramble to her request so purposefully—so quickly. However, long gone were the days when she would sit and try to analyze his behaviours to assess whether or not his unusually tender actions were out of duty or genuine affection. At the moment her only priority were the twins and she couldn't help the smile that tugged on her lips when she felt her mattress sink a little, then heard the sound of scampering across her bed, as quickly as their tiny arms and legs could carry them.

"No. No. No. Not like that," Neji's voice halted the boys' fast paced moments. "Slower. Gentler. Your mother isn't well," he told them.

Sakura was about to rile at him for interfering when an exchange between the boys caught her attention.

Upon hearing Neji's words they seemed to have been debating between themselves about something. Jiro was blabbing quietly, while Taro constantly looked from his mommy to daddy before shrugging his shoulders.

Finally, having met some apparent compromise they crept towards Sakura, and in the fashion that was exactly as they were instructed to by their father.

"That's more like it," Neji said, sounding pleased. But not for long, because once they got to Sakura's lap, the negotiation ended there and a full out war started.

"Da!" Taro pouted, looking impatiently at Neji for some sort of assistance.

Jiro needed it more however, his face had been stuffed into the comforter by Taro who was sitting on his back, his fingers lost in the boy's short tresses—no doubt in an effort to restrain him.

"Get off him!" Sakura gave out in horror, trying to relieve Jiro of his brother's weight.

"Da!" Taro protested, fighting her off.

Neji stopped her, "Let them work it out."

"Don't be ridiculous Neji, I will not entertain this!" She eyed him scathingly, her temper rising.

"We won't always be around to break up their tussles," he argued.

"Speak for yourself," she snapped.

Neji's mask contorted, having caught on to what her words insinuated. "What are you getting at?"

Jiro's little legs kicked out furiously, in all his struggling he blindly managed to knock Taro off balance. Fortunately the bed was massive, or he would've been sporting a nasty concussion from the hit he would have taken had he fallen off it.

"Da!" he cried out, making a fierce grab at Jiro's legs.

Sakura's hand got to his before it could reach Jiro and she would have slapped him, hadn't it been for the apologetic, cajoling grin he sent her. She helplessly returned his smile, her heart turning a somersault in her chest as Taro beamed warmly back at her, stretching his arms to be picked up.

Jiro who had already climbed unto her lap by this time, launched into a garbled of celebratory chatter that only he understood.

"That adorable face of yours won't always get you out of trouble," she scolded Taro before suggesting that he gave her a kiss because she missed his ill-tempered antics.

The brat shook his head and turned his face away, scowling.

"Come on sweetie, don't be that way," she pled, tapping on her cheek as she dipped her head to his level. "No kiss for mommy?"

His little brows drew together and he flapped his arms up and down frantically to signal his depleting patience. It didn't help that Jiro was sticking his tongue out at him and giggling.

She ruffled his hair and kissed him, "Alright, but you have to play nice," she warned him off, sitting up properly so she could support each boy on either one of her legs.

"I've missed you," she told them with feeling, holding their warm little bodies against her, cuddling them as she would never be able to hold and cuddle their sister. "Didn't you miss me?"

They both shook their heads, still unable to distinguish between yes and no when it came to gestures.

"You didn't? I'm hurt." They shook their heads again and she laughed to herself. They felt so good, so comforting, she acknowledged achingly as she hoisted them in her arms.

Territorial as always Taro rested his head against Sakura using a hand to restrict Jiro from doing the same while the other gripped the back of her blouse to stabilize himself.

"You're impossible," she laughed, kissing the top of his head. "At least we know where you got that trait," she didn't need to look at him to tell that Neji's eyes were on her.

"Let's hope that you don't have to find out exactly how impossible I can be," he told her darkly.

"You said that I could have whatever I want and I want—"

"Except that," he told her point blankly, cutting her off with the slashing gesture of his hand. "I will give you anything but that."

"Not anything," she whispered, meeting his gaze, noting for the first time that his face seemed thinner and paler than she knew it to be.

But his arrogant stance, the hands hooked into the pockets of well-cut denim jeans that clung to his muscular thighs and lean hip, the plaid shirt emphasizing his broad shoulders—all these reinforced the impression of a powerful, aggressive male and the fact that she was a woman.

She hadn't felt like one for such a long, long time.

Not since the night they first met.

Memory leapt in her, like a flame from a dead fire that someone had just thrown kerosene in. She couldn't stop it. Couldn't extinguish it. It was alive again—that overpowering, devastating and shameful feeling. The way it had leapt between them that night a year and so ago. She tried to drench it, thrust it away, hammer it back down, deep, deep, where it could not escape.

But it came all the same, and she could not stop it—it was helpless.

She would always remember that night, and not just because it blessed her with two children...

Words seared in her mind—poisonous, powerful. The terrible damning truth hollowed through her.

...she could only hate Neji temporarily. She'd always revert to being the lovesick fool that he made of her.

Despair and a gut-churning dismay washed throughout her. She had to fight her feelings, had to find some way out of the never-ending love-hate whirlpool he constantly tossed her in. She must not succumb to something that had damaged her so badly, so irretrievably. Something that had cost her a child.

Summoning all her strength, she brought the blade down on the memory, using their meaningless repeat of history as the catalyst. The second time around had left her feeling nothing but cheap and like an easy release.

Her chin lifted, her chest rising and falling as she fought to regain her composure, fought to be the person she knew she had to be.

Taro and Jiro's mother. Nothing more.

Just as she was nothing more to Neji.

"I've lost too many things because of you; my job, my self-respect, my friends," Sakura listed, eyeing him bitterly before turning her attention back to her boys. She could not bear to look at him; she wanted him out of her life. "Losing my baby is where I draw the line."

Jiro was suddenly pressing his palm against her belly, his light eyes searching her green ones.

She felt her chest constricted at the saddened look in his eyes, like he had understood every word.

He held unto her blouse, pulling himself onto his feet then he threw his arms around her neck, nuzzling his face into it. His tiny feet struggled to remain steady as it slid on and off her leg.

She held onto him, welcoming the feel of his soft skin against hers, so pliant and smelling of soap and talcum powder. "You're breaking mommy's heart," she choked out, feeling at a loss for Jiro, whom she had confided in about her pregnancy and who had taken the news with such great enthusiasm she was thoroughly convinced he comprehended.

The tears fell silently down her cheeks as she sat there just holding him. But they were tears of happiness for the maternal fulfillment she had never thought could be hers. For the gift of these beautiful little boys who held her heart in the palm of their hands.

"I'm sorry little man," Neji told the boy, his voice clipped, but he didn't dare reach out or touch him. Facing rejection from Sakura was already too much, to get it from his son would undo him. "Daddy's heartbroken too."

Had she heard him right? Or were her ears playing tricks on her? Was it her imagination, or did his voice sounded ever so strained? Neji heartbroken? Where was the logics in that? He didn't have a heart.

She looked up into his eyes and there was no mistaking the sincerity there. But she couldn't spare it a thought. He looked stern and forbidding as well and …worn around the edges. A little shell-shocked. But Sakura was still too shocked herself to really focus on him.

Jiro stomped his feet in what she interpreted as anger that Neji had spoken. "I'm so sorry sweetheart. There was nothing they could have done," she murmured, rubbing his back.

He cooed something and his warm breath tickled her neck, his prattle was one of pure pacification as his arms moved about her neck and he held on tight. Then he drew his face away, only to seal his opened mouth on her jaw. A bit of dribble grazed her cheeks. Sakura giggled feeling it tickle her skin.

Her heart melted inside her and she fell more in love with the boy than ever.

Neji's eyes slid over the scene before him, going still at realization and the constriction of his heart. Jiro was a totally different baby from the one he'd been over the course of the week, withdrawn and traumatized. Again, that overpowering emotion poured through him—a fierce, consuming protectiveness. He never wanted to witness such detachment from his son ever again.

"I know it isn't much but at least you've still got your brother," Sakura teased, sniffing.

Taro was busy toying with a long strand of her hair, seemingly fascinated by its rosiness as he curled it about his fingers, quite at ease as he sat on her lap and talked in his own special way.

Jiro glanced down at him and twisted his mouth in distaste as if to say it was no consolation. Then he brought his mouth down on the corner of hers and smiled, holding her as if he'd never let her go.

"I love you both so much," she said, emotion choking her as she kissed them feverishly. "What did I do to deserve you two?"

As if to answer her question, Taro spun around to look at his father. "Da!"

Despite herself Sakura flushed, even though she knew her son was simply requesting to be picked up.

Neji shifted his weight uncomfortably to one leg and cleared his throat. "I'll get their bottles heated downstairs because—"

"Don't feel a need to hurry back," Sakura's chin rose as she frostily met his gaze.

Jiro turned to look at him as if in agreement with his mother.

Neji looked down at her searchingly, noting the pallor of her face with no make-up, the defiant glitter in those emerald eyes, and the stubborn set of her mouth. "—they're likely to be hungry," he finished.

"Well in that case you had better not waste any time," she cautioned.

And he hadn't. He returned shortly with the twin's bottles and bibs along with a tray ladened with what was presumably Sakura's lunch, she barely spared it a glance.

"You must be hungry," he said to her while he attempted to get the boys into their bibs. It was never an easy task to undertake because they both had a tendency to yank it off, thinking it's a game each time Neji clasped it back in place.

"I'm not," she rolled her eyes inwardly.

"It's been almost a week since you've eaten a proper meal," he handed Taro and Jiro their bottles, setting them away from her. "Medication doesn't work well on empty stomachs," he told her accusingly.

She folded her arms, watching as Jiro held the bottle to his mouth and downed it all in one go. It wasn't hard to believe that he hadn't been eating since he had felt so light in her arms. And knowing that her absence was the reason behind it, guilt flayed her like a whip, a million times over.

She had caused her own beloved baby to fret to the point where he refused food. She'd never forgive herself for putting him through that. But she had needed some time to pull herself together, needed to get her priorities in order, to figure out what she really wanted.

And she has decided that Neji wasn't it. Not anymore.

"My appetite will return once I've gotten what I want," she told him casually.

"Then you're up for a lengthy fasting," his shoulders square in annoyance.

She lashed out in contempt, "I will take it to the court if I have to."

Black fury convulsed through him. He thrust it aside. It would not help now.

Instead, he watched her, like a fly trapped in treacle, as he forced his legal knowledge upon her. Beneath his rigidly schooled expression he could feel his anger, leashed on a hard, tight wire. For an instant, no more, there was a flash deep in his eyes. But when he spoke the tight mesh of control was still in place, draining all emotion from his voice.

"We have a contract and unless it has been breached then I don't see how you intend to plea your case."

The very lack of emotion filled her with dread. Sakura could only stare sickly, frozen, the air solidifying in her lungs. "A contract that I was blackmailed into signing," she reminded him. "And of course it has been violated, you're having an affair!" she exclaimed.

Neji's face paled. For a long while he said nothing, but when he did, his eyes were hard, his voice thick with incredulity and anger. "I'm cheating?"

She nodded once, "Yes, and I'm not referring to the kind people do in a game of cards."

He was absolutely seething; outrage clamped his mouth shut out of fear of what it might say if it opened. Sakura was speaking again, and he tried to make sense of the words, desperately trying to pull his mind together, still reeling from shock and dismay.

"I'm not looking for a divorce settlement, if that's what you're thinking," she said. For a second she thought she saw his eyes blaze with emotion. Then, instantly, they were blank again. "I only want my kids and nothing to do with you."

OoOoOoOo

He continued to stare disbelievingly at her, his eyes narrowing icily. Still, he said nothing. Nothing to reassure her of his fidelity because telling her he had been taking her sons to see their grandparents may anger her more.

Telling her about her father's heart surgery and that he had paid for it would only make her upset, thinking he was buying his way into her family. Building an army to keep her hitched with him.

"I will go quietly," Sakura assured him. "So there's no need to worry about the press getting a whiff of this."

His brain cells seemed to have vacated his head space. He looked down at the delicate, shuttered face of the woman who had once been able to seduce him as effortlessly as taking candy from a baby. Now she wanted to take the two little reminders of the most incredible night of his life away.

He forced a cool, unnatural calmness into his voice. "You're not going anywhere."

"You are welcome to have the twins whenever you want but as far as _**we're**_ concerned," she pointed at herself and then to him. "I'm done."

Jiro suddenly waved his empty bottle at her, grinning.

A huge, unending wave of love and protection poured from her. Nothing would stop her from taking him when she left. She gaped dramatically at him and then covered her mouth with both hands as added theatrics to engage the child.

He giggled, kicking out his legs in delight at being the centre of his mother's attention once more.

"You drank it all off without leaving any for mommy?" she asked in awe and pretence hurt.

As if sprung into action by some note in her voice, Taro roughly smacked the bottle from Jiro's hand and offered his own half empty one to his mother. Jiro howled, his eyes filling with tears as he looked expectantly at her, almost as though he were coaxing her on to slap Taro.

Sakura didn't know how to react.

Luckily for her, their cries always had the effect of hotwiring Neji's brain no matter how far away his mind was. So upon hearing the deafening shrill, he hastily gathered a reluctant Jiro into his arms. He wriggled and wriggled until there was no strength left in his little body to fight Neji off.

"What has gotten into you?" He questioned the boy, struck by the solemn tone of his own deep voice. He smoothed out the dark satin of the tot's hair and whispered soothing words in his ear until he relaxed. "You're a monster," he chuckled at Taro who smiled innocently in return.

"That makes two of you," Sakura muttered and Neji's hard, expressionless eyes bored down on her, drilling into her. "No baby, I don't want any. Mommy's fine," she gently pushed the bottle back to Taro.

He arched his brows at her before latching his lips contently onto his bottle again.

She couldn't slap him, no matter how much he had worked for it. The brat knew how to get out of trouble—pound on his brother and pass if off as an attempt to be sweet to mommy. And it worked every time because she was such a sucker for her own kids.

He may only be six months old but Taro had already cemented his role as his mother's protector regardless of the fact that he obviously favoured Neji. He didn't care whose eyes he had to claw out—usually his brother's—for her. And Sakura sort of reveled in the fact that someone had such instincts when it came to her, even if it was merely her infant son. It made her feel loved. Heavens knew she hadn't felt loved in a long while.

Jiro on the other hand was a nurturer. He was quiet, pleasant and gentle, possessing an understanding far beyond his years...or months rather. Call her crazy but at times it felt like he was the only one is the house whom she could relate to.

Taro and Neji had far too much in common for her liking; there was a certain ruthlessly about him which mirrored that of his father.

She looked up at her baby, his shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. Sobs that were now being muffled because he had buried his face in Neji's shirt.

"Give him to me, take your demon spawn and get out," she commanded in a thin, high-pitched voice.

"Da!" Taro complained pointing at Sakura as if he'd known he was just insulted.

Neji glowered at her, "He's only that way because you pay more attention to Jiro."

"Or..." she reasoned. "…because he spends too much time with you."

"I've had in with the smart remarks," he rasped, dumping Jiro unceremoniously on her lap. With deliberate slowness, to give himself time to still the stab of fury that her words had catalyzed, he picked up his '_demon spawn'_ as she had referred to him. "Why don't you just come out and say what you mean?"

"Why don't you?" she countered in the same constricting voice.

"Alright. You don't love them equally," he said flatly, accusingly, reveling in the flush of angry frustration that flooded into her cheeks, giving her pale, flawless skin a peaches-and-cream vivacity, making the eyes that warred with his in flaming fury even brighter.

She sucked in a quick breath, her eyes flaring in denial and she shot back. "You don't love them full stop."

The challenge was evident in her voice, as was the underlying tone of resentment. Both of which were going to get him precisely nowhere, Neji realized.

"So apparently I hate my own children?" he dismissed her with a flick of his wrist.

She stiffened angrily, green eyes flashing with the emotion. "To not love something doesn't equate to hating it Neji. There is a difference, maybe you ought to revisit a thesaurus," she added churlishly.

The Hyuuga bit back the angry retort that sprang so readily to his lips, at the same time marveling at the fact that only Sakura could incite him to such emotions. Usually he kept his emotions tightly under control, having found that it gave him an edge. Except when it came to his wife...

He was still convincing himself that he hadn't a clue why that was.

Looking at her, groggy from her extended nap, her face ethereally lovely, much too slender than was healthy for her, it was difficult to think of her in that light. In fact, he was starting to feel guilty for having added to the heaviness weighing her heart down. Which was a highly dangerous direction for him to have taken since she did not want his pity.

"How can I not love them?" he asked, feeling Taro's mouth pressed against his jaw in his sloppy version of a kiss. He bounced up and down, seemingly singing the single syllable he used to refer to his father.

Sakura grimaced at this, wondering why on earth couldn't she spark that sort of reaction from him. Neji had always been more lenient when it came to his tantrums, but she hardly saw that as grounds to prefer him to her.

For the briefest moment, something flowed over her. And suddenly—quite, suddenly—she knew with certainty that filled her being that he would never betray his children's love. She knew their little hearts were safe with the man who fathered them, their daughter's probably would have been too, even if her own wasn't.

It killed her to admit it, it would make parting from him that much harder...to know that she hadn't tried hard enough for Taro and Jiro's sakes.

Neji spoke slowly, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "I know that I've given you reasons to doubt a lot of things, but love of my sons is not one of them." His eyes suddenly went back to hers. "And why would I cheat on you—?" he finally asked, as if it had been bothering him the moment Sakura had implied it.

Her throat was tight. Far too tight. Like a thick elastic band constricting her. There was a heaviness, sudden, crushing, in the air. She swallowed, her throat felt dry. "We're not exactly an intimate pair..." She closed her eyes. "Not that this marriage is even one of that sort of convenience."

Nothing was said for a while. Then quietly, very quietly, Neji spoke. He looked at her. For a long, long moment, then he asked sharply. "Do you think I would jeopardize my chances of keeping Taro and Jiro because of that? Don't think for a second that I expect anything of you other than taking care of our children."

There had been shock in his voice. She heard it. But she couldn't do anything about it. "I'm not hurt by it, nor am I upset," she lied, referring to his alleged infidelity. "I've finally gotten the message, loud and clear."

Jiro closed his palm around her index finger and she unconsciously used her thumb to stroke the soft skin of the back of his wrist. He snuggled closer, tightening his hold on her finger. The action drew her eyes to his little hand and it was then that she saw the red bruises his brother's assault had inflicted.

"And keep that thing away from him," she heard herself say tightly to Neji.

Taro waved her off brusquely, glaring.

"Let's see how much talk you've got once you're back on this bed," she warned with deadly intent, flabbergasted by the infant's insolence and the fact that Neji treated it with such nonchalance. "I'll hold you down if I have to, but one way or the other Jiro's going to scratch you back."

"I'd like to see you try that," Neji challenged.

She stared at him, her face stilling. His eyes were holding hers steadily, unflinchingly. She wanted him to drop dead. Go away. Disappear.

She couldn't remember ever threatening Taro like that, with real anger in her voice, not even when she had been feeling angry inside. He was getting out of hand and she had been prepared to do as he wanted, like a puppy following its master, because the pure pleasure of being around them again had outweighed everything else. Every ounce of common sense. Taro had been a brute and should have been reprimanded.

"I'd like to see you try and stop me..." Sakura retorted, equally as challenging. "...from slapping him silly or leaving this hell-hole."

A thick, tense and trammeling silence enveloped them until Neji eventually broke it with an urgency he felt the situation called for.

"Contract aside, I've never been unfaithful to you." There was still shock and incredulity and something more in his profession. Then he added almost inaudibly, his light but dead eyes resting on her. "I would never dream of it, not when I know how you feel."

His voice was unbearably gentle, making Sakura feel like ripping her hair out and begging him to stop play with her emotions.

Taro looked at her, shaking his head—always in concord with Neji.

She swallowed. The lump in her throat was worse. "Not when you know how I felt. Past tense," she corrected tersely. "And you've never taken my feelings into consideration before so why should I believe you?"

"Because if you love someone you ought to trust them," he responded bluntly.

Silence poured into the gap between them. She felt her heart take on a thick pounding beat in her ears. Somewhere in the hazy distance she was aware of Neji's tension.

Sakura was as still as a statue. Emotions sifted through her like sediments shifting, finding new levels. Cautiously, very cautiously, she spoke, feeling her chest tighten. "I don't love you."

Taro tapped his father's shoulders over and over again in apparent disbelief, or perhaps urging the man to say something. It was difficult to read their reactions, especially considering their age and the fact that they shouldn't be this perceptive.

Neji stood in appalled silence, quaking inside as a storm broke over him, his heart sinking as he stared blankly at her, the realization of what her statement meant slowly dawning. The inevitable lightning had been struck.

He felt the blood draining from his face and took an audible breath. His mouth twisted, "I don't delude myself for a second to think that you could possibly, after everything I've put you through."

Everything he'd put her through seemed to flash through Sakura's mind, like her life flashing before her eyes. She searched his face for some sign…there wasn't a doubt that he felt guilty about the baby, but this was different. He had been completely undone when he expressed condolences over their mutual grief and loss. This time he was holding himself so rigidly.

His expression tensed. His eyes became opaque. "I have no right to keep you in this marriage when you no longer want to be. But you have the power in your hands to exact the worst kind of vengeance on me, Sakura…if you were to ever walk away."

"Going to the press is a last resort," she assured him, knowing how much damage she could do to his career if she ever went public about their arrangement. Her heart constricted painfully, but she told herself she was just protecting herself. She wouldn't be able to endure more heartache than this, and if she stayed heartache was certain.

"I'm not talking about the press," he shook his head. As he did he saw her face lightened, and he assured himself that he was making the right choice—finally doing right by her—even though it felt like anything but the right choice. He felt curiously numb. He didn't want to let her go, though he had to, now that he knew where he stood in her life.

"Then what are you talking about?" she asked, her eyes seriously probing his.

His whole body radiated a tension that reached out and spoke to her. Everything was shifting, changing around them. She could feel it, and bizarrely it made her feel a lot more nervous than she'd ever felt with this man.

Without the slightest warning, Neji closed the distance between them and snatched the hand Jiro held, practically crushing the life from her fingers with the unwitting fierceness of his grip. He exhaled in a stark hiss, accentuated by an overzealous nod from Taro. "I think I love you."

OoOoOoOo

Sakura's eyes opened very wide, and then flooded with anguish. She hadn't even fully acknowledged the fact that her son had finally nodded. All her mind registered were the words that had left Neji's mouth. They sounded no different from the plea of someone being tortured, for it made no sense that his feelings towards her should have taken a complete three-sixty just like that.

"No, you don't. You're just realizing that I'm serious about leaving and taking the kids," she told him unevenly. "Don't call that love, its desperation."

She wanted to cry. She remembered saying those three little words to him, and being ignored, being condemed.

Neji stood, colour surging into his cheeks. "I said it wrong, but I haven't had a lot of practice at this!" He gritted rawly. "I shouldn't have said I think—" he sighed out of frustration in a deep, dark voice, his gaze holding hers, his handsome face taut with barely controlled emotion. "Oh Sakura, I'll grovel if I have to," his fingers tightened around her hand. "Don't leave."

Her mouth fell open, her emerald eyes wide and unblinking. He had said he loved her. That he would grovel if he had to. How many times had she dreamt of just such a scenario? The arrogant, overbearing Hyuuga Neji on his knees to her. But dared she believe him? When his actions dictated that he felt otherwise?

"You shouldn't have said anything," she breathed. She couldn't believe it. She simply couldn't believe it. She had to reiterate what she knew to be true. "You don't mean that."

His fabulous bone structure was prominent with tension beneath his pale skin, he dealt her a thunderous look of disbelief that shook her. He parted his lips to respond at the same moment Jiro smacked the hand Neji held Sakura's with, in a gesture of repudiation.

"I just thought saying it would have given you some measure of satisfaction so you—" he derided, killing any hope that she had, convincing her that he could only have spoken those words out of an impulsive need to get her to stay.

"—so I would change my mind?" she abandoned all cool in the growing awareness that this man stopped a nothing to have his own way.

"You can't take my sons Sakura." The vehemence of his tone made her look at him. His mouth was a thin line. "I will not allow it."

Her mouth wobbled, "You'll grovel if you have to?" she asked.

Neji's eyes flashed with instant anger. Then, visibly, he controlled it. "As it is, I'm willing to lay my life down for the boys," everything about him was stiff and unyielding.

If she'd needed a sign that he hadn't been sincere about loving her, then this was it. He wasn't even trying to convince her of it, he just wanted his kids.

"There was a time when I would've thrown myself at your feet at the mention of loving me and you didn't even have to mean it," she blurted out, tears prickling her eyes. "But not this time Neji. I would cut my heart out if it ever skipped another beat for you."

The brittle shell that had kept her going since her miscarriage cracked wide open. The emotion erupted on a choking sob and everything became blurry as tears flooded her eyes and flowed hotly down her cheeks. The pain she felt was much worse than anything she'd ever endured.

Jiro was babbling soothingly to her again, wrapping his small arms around as much of her as he could. His grip felt like a strong arm of steel but instead, wrapping around her heart. It brought on even more tears.

"I can't bear to look at you!" Her whole face felt puffy and raw as the sobs that soaked Jiro's shirt turned into hiccups.

He didn't seem to mind.

Taro, however, was screaming angrily, whether it was at her or Neji, neither one of them knew.

"Then I'll leave instead, give you time and space," he said, in a quiet, steady voice. "The boys will fair better off in familiar environments than if you were to leave."

"I'm not merely requesting a time-out Neji. I'm done," she proclaimed.

Numbness settled over him. She really wanted to leave and did not care for the repercussions of leaving. Maybe she didn't hate him. Maybe hate was an emotion that was far too passionate for her to bother feeling for him.

A look of unmistakable pain crossed his face. He took a breath, his voice changing. "I'm so sorry that I brought heartache into your life when all you've ever done was bring meaning to mine," he found himself saying.

Sakura struggled to take in the enormity of what he was saying and the fact that she couldn't feel happy at the prospect of it all being true. It was too late for any of that, the damage was already done.

She couldn't breathe. She felt as if she was dying. And in her pathetic weakness she drew Jiro impossibly closer. "I won't stay here, with or without you."

Neji's voice was low, steady and compelling. "Think about the boys."

"I am thinking about them!" she spelt out. "The sort of relationship that we have is not even ideal to raise swines, much less children."

"You will not gain anything from leaving me now. You know that, don't you?"

She blinked furiously. "I'm not after your money Neji. I've never been. We had a deal, and I'm backing out of it. The terms of the contract are very clear."

She knew she was losing her chance at finishing medical school, and far more painful than that, she was losing Neji, but she had to do it. She couldn't face waking up one day and discovering that she'd lost the essence of who she was, trying to gain the respect of a man who would prefer it if she'd never entered his life. The pain, the cost, were simply too great.

"A lot of people share custody of their children. We can make it work," she continued.

His lips went white around the edges and a deadly calm came over him. He turned away from her, as if suddenly he was uninterested in her. "Shared custody?" he contemplated for a while, as if the thought had never struck him before.

"We could do alternating weeks," she suggested. "I think some time apart for the twins would do them both some good too."

He did not like the idea of his sons bustling between homes, nor did he want them separated for a single day in their young life.

"If that's what you want, then I will not fight it," he sighed in defeat. The battle had already been loss and without her affections there truly wasn't a reason to fight. "I'm sure we could discuss a custody arrangement that pleases both of us. I was only suggesting that we try to work this out for the boys' sake and your own. It would have made your life much easier."

She heard the haughtiness in his voice, and without conscious thought, only impelled by an instinct that was impossible to suppress, she suddenly reached up and slapped him. So hard that their sons both gave a start.

Taro released a long horror-filled wail, "Da?"

His hands went to the red imprint of Sakura's hand on Neji's jaw then he turned and glared at her. It wasn't the kind of glare she got whenever she didn't let him have his own way. This one was filled with loathing and resentment, it chilled her to the bones.

"What did I do?" Neji asked, genuine bewilderment etched across his face.

The question went unanswered even as he heard her timid footsteps three weeks later, crossing the tiled floor of the entrance hall, the sound of suitcase wheels screeching along it and the final slam of the front door.

That morning, he threw his mug of coffee at the wall and watched it shatter, the dark liquid staining the pristine white of the wall. He had clenched his fists, trying to control the driving need to tear his house apart, to make it as broken as everything else in his life. He had a ring on her finger and her locked away as his pregnant bride with the promise of the family he never had.

Now it was all gone. He hadn't even tried to stop her and she left without hesitation.

Their contract had been shredded; divorce papers were in the process. Their hearing had declared that Kintaro Hizashi Hyuuga and Kenjiro Kizashi Hyuuga were to be jointly custodied. But Neji was not satisfied with any of it, he didn't go through all he had with his family just so he would have to drive a couple miles a day to see his children whenever Sakura deemed it okay.

A slow ache grew inside of him and he felt Taro placed his hand on his chest to perhaps try and stanch the flow, shocked at the intensity of the real physical pain that his father was feeling.

"Da?" he quirked up a brow.

"I'm so sorry," he smoothed his son's hair. "Did I startle you?"

He shook his head, the same as he had earlier when his mother fought to get him into his clothes. But Taro had been adamant about not leaving—kicking, screaming and clawing—until Sakura had no other choice than to let him stay behind, instructing Neji to drop him off later.

Jiro had made a fuss too, his little eyes kept darting to the suitcases by the door while he and his father exchanged what the infant knew to be goodbyes. The Hyuuga found himself warring with something he had never managed to muster before—tears.

And ironically enough when they finally came, Jiro had been involved. They hadn't rushed to the surface immediately though, because he was after all...Hyuuga Neji, master masker of all things emotional. And he most certainly wasn't going to give Sakura's new neighbour and frequent house guest—Uchiha Sasuke—the satisfaction of knowing that Jiro's constant reference to him as 'Da' had really gotten to the Hyuuga.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: All I've got to say is that this was a crappy and disappointing chapter. Don't be surprised if I take it down and throw up the 'complete' status, because I've sort of had it with this shit. I'm so sorry if it was dull and depressing, it reflects my mood at the moment. **

**I typed this up on my phone which made things even more frustrating. I don't know what your thoughts are on this bag of glum but I highly doubt it to be positive.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Neji awoke with a feeling of complete disorientation. He took a few seconds to realize where he was—in his home office—let alone the reason he had fallen asleep or had woken so suddenly.

It was midday, he noted with a quick glance at his watch. His staff all had the weekend off and Taro was spending his with Sakura as far as Neji knew, so he couldn't understand what—

He heard it again—that faint, totally familiar sound of a baby.

Neji sat there for several minutes longer, hearing the sound twice more and wondering if he had lost his mind. Still, irrational hope and antagonistic desperation seared like hot steel through his brain making him decide he'd check. Check if the nightmare of the past month had been just that—a nightmare. He had after all just woken up.

He gathered up himself, stalking along the hallway, up the stairs and then stopped to listen outside the twin's room. He heard it again but this time it sounded more like soft talking, rather than actual crying, which was something—although he wasn't sure…

He opened the nursery door quietly before peering inside and noticing that the room was lit by a single night-light plugged into the wall. All the windows were closed, curtains drawn, preventing the warm, golden brilliance of the sun from drenching the room or the cool ocean breeze from wafting inside. The air was stuffy, tinged with something scentless, but it was so poignantly pungent that it stung the Hyuuga's eyes and stirred the ache in his throat.

And clearly visible from where he stood in the doorway were two unoccupied cot. No little silver eyes lighting up excitedly at the sight of him or tiny arms flapping ardently to be picked up. No pink hair being brushed out of the porcelain face it framed or sparkling green eyes meeting his gaze. No delightful little squeals or tales being told in high pitched tones. No whiff of strawberry shampoo or talcum powder. No nothing.

The room was empty. It desolateness rivaled the space behind his ribcage.

He'd gotten so accustomed to having them around that their absence felt like a terrible deficiency he could not overcome. Would not overcome. Even if his family was to be made whole again, the knowledge of their lost time together would forever plague him.

Made whole again? Wasn't that wishful thinking?

He felt his insides clench, and for a moment it was like a physical pain. His mind drifted helplessly back to the papers that had come in earlier. They laid ominously on the desk in his study, like a rat trap that would grant him freedom in the place of death or captivity. But it was a trap nonetheless, bound to inflict some amount of hurt once it was triggered.

And the intense trauma of seeing Sakura's signature neatly etched across that line—a line that might as well have indicated his heart activity on an electrocardiogram—took Neji by surprise, making his heart cramp and his whole chest cavity hurt.

He truly felt like a caged bird, imprisoned by guilt, but the shackles that bounded his heart were that his own abominable pride.

Divorce.

The word echoed in his head as he crept further into the room.

It was a word that mocked itself—that mocked him.

Because how could he truly divorce himself from the only woman who'd ever loved him with every fibre of her being—in every way possible and for everything aside from his wealth? How could he divorce himself from the sight of her giving birth to his sons? And how could he divorce himself from the inconsolable sight of her the day she lost their daughter?

He couldn't. He'd have to live with it.

Night and day he would have to live with it. Night and day he'd scanned through a kaleidoscope of memories; some light, some dark, some so unbearable he wished he could switch off his head. For how could he divorce himself from all of that grief and agony and move on with his life as if it had never happened at all? As if she never happened?

He couldn't. He just had to live with it.

Because really, a divorce is only final once you've reached a state of complete emotional detachment.

His hard mouth flicked out a tense grimace, realizing that such an acquisition was nowhere in his near future.

Deciding that he didn't like the gloominess of the room or his pitiable thoughts, Neji parted all the curtains and sat by the window seat looking out. The wall facing the sea had such large windows it felt like it was made entirely of glass.

How many times during the past month had he sat by this very window with Taro for company—or perhaps serving as his anchor—contently in his lap, while they watched the waves rush to the shore together?

His lined features suddenly wreathed with a look of displeasure, it was _**their**_ thing and it felt oddly irreverent sitting there without him pointing at every seagull that flew by or laughing at the massive waves that devoured the seaside. Maybe it was because the boy represented a piece of Sakura that refused to part with him, but for whatever reason, Neji could always count on his son's presence to distract him from the emotional turmoil that distorted his very soul.

It was at those moments that he was most content and yet, at the same time most dejected. It killed him that Taro and Jiro were missing out on each other. That he was missing out on watching them grow together.

And while they saw each other during the days_ (because Taro stayed with Sakura while Neji was at work) _there was no doubt in his mind that they missed the garbled conversations and giggles they usually had at nights.

Nights when they should have been asleep, Neji mused, remembering how their loud, idle chatter, on numerous occasions had disrupted his naps.

So regardless of how fiercely Taro fought whenever they tried coaxing him into spending the night at his mother, Neji knew the child wanted nothing more than to stay with his brother.

"Ji!"

It was a routine sharp cry, but it always left his ears ringing. It always had the effect of slicing through the air, severing his stoic mask into strips of disarrayed emotions. From the way Taro's little wrist would flick at Jiro as if indicating that he was to come with him in the evenings, Neji knew…

But no matter how much Neji tried to get the boy to stay, Taro would cling to his shirt, protesting angrily, sometimes scratching Sakura in the process of trying to peel him away. It was painful to watch, especially since he suspected they understood what was going on. It killed him even more when Jiro crawled to his feet, tugging politely at his designer trousers with that pleading look in his lilac eyes and that frustrated pout on his lips.

It was enough to send a lesser man to his knees in tears, to send him begging that they didn't do this to their children. They were turning their lives upside-down.

Jiro, who was known to be the chattier of the two, hardly utters a word these days. He was still sunny and all smiles but tears never left his eyes and it wasn't because Taro constantly pounded on him.

Neji didn't know what to do with the brat sometimes. He saw a little too much of himself in the boy but reasoned that if there was to be someone more stubborn than he was, it might as well be his own child.

Their identical personalities meant that they shared a special understanding and got along well. Neji often marveled at Taro who was now merely eight months but possessed the comprehension of an eight year old. He could ask anything of the infant and he carried it out to the best of his baby abilities. So it was only natural that when he told him to keep an eye on the Uchiha, that Taro went into a babbled rage every evening after Neji picked him up and they drove home.

It was mostly entertaining to hear him growl and watch him slice his hands angrily through the air. Neji didn't understand most of what he said but he did catch the occasional single syllable he used to refer to his mother and the word he used for Sasuke.

"_Sa"_ for Sakura

"_Kay"_ for Sasuke

And those words were used quite frequently in his spluttered complaints. If the thickly haywired breathing that vibrated Taro's chest after his rants was any indication, Neji decided he knew what the problem was…the child felt his daddy was under threat. It was simply mind-blowing how well Taro read situations—how well he responded to them.

His perception was unprecedented for a tot.

He realized too that whenever baby commercials came on the television, Taro would huddle closer to him, tilting his little neck back to study every discreetly changing feature on his father's face. And it wasn't until Neji gently stroked his cheek and confided that he was fine that Taro's eyes would return to the screen in homage to his sister's memory.

He was always happy to sit down and watch whatever documentary Neji had on, rarely fussing about anything. It was when Jiro spent the weekends over that Taro preferred to watch cartoons. Maybe it was because he considered his brother a guest who needed to be catered for. Or maybe watching cartoons together was something sacramental that he did only with Jiro. But for whatever reasons Neji wasn't welcomed to join them.

At their age the only appeals cartoons should have were the bright colours, moving pictures and obnoxiously catchy theme songs. And yet, he couldn't discount how their eyes widened in anticipation at every suspenseful little tune or how they burst into giggling fits whenever something silly came on.

In those moments his heart would swell to the point of bursting with love for their broad grins, delightful giggles and sweet scent.

It was only when they were together that they truly seemed happy. He didn't know what Jiro was like when he was alone with Sakura but Taro strove to be far more mature than his few months when he was alone with Neji. It was almost like he was trying to make an impression.

He noticed as well, that unless Jiro spent the weekend over, Taro rarely slept in the nursery. He preferred to stay snuggled protectively against his chest—wherever Neji decided to sleep. And if wasn't the couch, then the Hyuuga frequented the guest bedrooms. Sleeping next to the room Sakura had occupied proved to be too much for him.

When she first moved out, he had found his ears involuntarily pricking up every night, listening out for the usual laughter or jabber that happened in her sleep. And each night that he was met by the silence, a piece of something fell away from his chest, but instead of leaving it light, it weighed it down until it sank to the floor. It was then that he realized his control was close to breaking and he couldn't afford to crumble—couldn't allow the ghost he had singlehandedly created to haunt him.

Neji dug into the palm of his hand, brooding over the fact that he could hardly bear to stay in his own home—or remnant of his home, to be more accurate. Dead drive, dead passion, dead child, it might as have been a morgue. Every fibre of his body screamed at him to leave, to get out. The urgency of it overwhelmed him. But where would he go? He was trapped here. Trapped in a house whose sentiments mocked him, punished him… He used to revel in those sentiments—in the life she gave him.

He had to face the consequences of his action and push away the notion of seeking absolution where there would be none. The Uchiha may have broken her, but he had shattered those pieces beyond repair.

"_I don't love you."_

Her stark, cruel words resounded in his head.

For a short, blissfully deceptive moment he had felt no reaction to them, was numbed, and then like poison-tipped arrows they joined with the ever-present debilitating guilt and sank deep, deep into his heart, robbing him of words.

"_But I love you."_

The words, unspoken, hung heavy in the air, except she couldn't sense them. How could she when he'd desensitize her to the notion?

"_I think I love you—I said it wrong, but I haven't had a lot of practice at this."_

His inarticulate explanation died on his lips right then and there.

Shame and guile flushed though him like acid—and bitter, bitter self-disgust.

Neji's gaze travelled bleakly out over the view beyond. In his immediate sight was the wide porch that stretched across the back half of second story, where the twin's room was located, offering a place to rest and enjoy the view. White wood lounge chairs covered with thick, cobalt-blue cushions were scattered here and there on the boys' portion of the balcony.

Brilliant sunlight dancing on an azure sea, the pristine crescent of beach curving by the edge of the waves.

He gazed blankly at it, not wishing to see any of it. He needed to return to his office, he thought to himself. Back into his study with the blinds drawn and the blank walls to stare at, the wall inside his head keeping him safe. But his loneliness had drawn him into the boys' room and he surrendered to the desire for the brightness, warmth and the sunshine of the world around him.

But it forced him to see it. Forced him to look.

And he looked at the image of the pristine beach, the lapping blue sea, as he felt the fresh air come through the window to tease his face, the sunlight pouring through on his skin, he felt as if deep, deep, inside him something was cracking—cracking with long, spidery threads. Breaking and piercing, fracturing.

He tried to stop it, tried to halt it, tried to hold it back, hold it up. Tried frantically, desperately, to shore it up again.

But it was crumbling, crumbling and breaking, and he couldn't stop it. He couldn't.

And then it came. Like a huge, unstoppable wave. Crushing down the wall, sweeping it aside, pouring past, taking him over, overwhelming him—overpowering him.

In a last, final act of desperation, he shut his eyes. Screwed them shut, suppressing the urge to cover them with his hands to keep it out.

But it was there. Vivid. Scoring into his retinas. And he couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop it…

And it hurt. It touched something tender inside him in a place he did not want to visit because it was linked in some indecipherable way to his unborn child.

A hard lump formed in his throat as he relived the look of loathing on Sakura's face when it finally sunk in that she had lost her child due to stressing over their relationship—stressing over him. That lump increased its size tenfold as he lived through the mental images that morphed into figures outside his window.

Sakura down there on the beach. Chortling. Lifting up a young girl—a girl the splitting image of herself, except for the eyes, they were pale—and she was giggling with her in glee. And beside Sakura was someone else. A man with long chestnut tresses and two young boys dangling from either side of his back—holding their arms out to their mother and sister.

And the man encircled them all with his arms—to him—to their family…

Neji expelled a harsh breath, tearing open his eyes, forcing himself to stare down at the beach and see it for what it was—a deserted beach. No one was there. It was as it had been before. Empty. Bare. Like life itself.

His vision blurred. With a choke of misery, he turned his head away. And grief engulfed him for what could have been—what may never be.

Because how could he hope for what was nothing more than a fantasy—a fantasy as unreal and as cruel as the one he had ripped from him when Sakura miscarried? A fantasy that was a thousand times less real; a thousand times crueler—a fantasy of the impossible.

Grim features cut from rock, slowly, he got up.

He dredged up the steel mantle under which he usually maintained control. Slowly, brick by brick, he rebuilt the wall, shutting out the world. Shutting out the light, the cruel, pointless hope. Finally facing reality, though the agony of it was unbearable.

But bear it he must.

And store up the memories and daydreams he would, like a miser with his gold, taking them out every now and then, allowing himself to wither in it…deservedly.

OoOoOoOo

Sakura woke up feeling groggy; her head was heavy but her heart was even heavier. She had been having a particularly dreadful dream when she had awoken to the sound of knocking on the door. And then impatiently someone scurried into the room. The drapes were suddenly being pulled back further, letting sunlight stream into the room, and the French doors opened wide.

A bird chirped outside.

Warmth came in on the light breeze and Sakura felt herself respond to it instinctively, letting it into her bones. It felt good.

"Do you wire your kids to alarm at seven every morning?" the enquiry was delivered thickly. But the question that followed spoke of a man entering unfamiliar territory and it was as close to hesitation as she had ever heard him come. "It's Sunday, people like to sleep in. Can't you find a way to deprogram them?"

She opened her eyes, screwed them up as if it might be a trick of the light and Uchiha Sasuke wasn't standing before her with a scowl on his face. For a moment she was shaken. More than shaken. She felt the strange thunder of her heart. The gaze that held her burned like a brand and there was a terrible tearing in her heart as if someone had just ripped it opened.

"I'm really sorry about the noise," Sakura told him throatily and sat up in the bed, forcing an apologetic smile on her lips. "Whenever they wake up together, it's all squeals and giggles," she supplied lamely.

"Yeah, well I was a hairsbreadth away from calling pest control," he growled, his black eyes glittering with growing impatience.

She drew her pink brows together.

The sizzling spilt of his anger held Sasuke imprisoned until Sakura threw back the blankets and swung her legs to the edge of the bed—unmindful of her attire or lack thereof. He could not stop himself from making a taut, restless shift of his stance. "Where do you think you're going?"

A fierce shaft of something she didn't recognize rocked her. Perhaps it was the shock of waking up and finding him in her room. He had always complained about the noise on the weekends but he had never actually been this bold in addressing the issue.

"Well, if they're awake—" she breathed helplessly.

"They are fine," he told her warily.

Sakura stared at him, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she waited for him to expound. He didn't, he merely stared back at her.

A different kind of tension suddenly pulsed in the warm morning air. She saw the slight stiffening in Sasuke's long spine as he stood there. If anything, he was just as handsome as she remembered, and it skewered her like a knife to be so aware of him after his contemptible treatment of her in the past.

Fresh silence sang like an out-of-tune melody and she felt her heart begin to pound. With an odd reluctance she felt creep all over her skin like a shiver she pulled her eyes away.

"What is it?" Sakura asked desperately, suddenly overwhelmed at facing him at such close proximity.

"You don't look too well," he frowned down at her, standing tall, crossing his arms. He was huge and forbidding. "And you slept in, that's not like you."

She closed her eyes on a silent curse feeling those onyx orbs of his running an accessing glance over her. One thing she could never call Sasuke was slow on the uptake once all the clues started falling into place.

She hadn't been feeling well for quite awhile, but she couldn't let it be known. If she did, Neji would insist on keeping the boys until she got better. Right now she couldn't afford that, they were the glue holding her together. They were her strength.

When she opened her eyes again Sasuke was looking directly at her and his eyes had narrowed even more. A tight flutter took up residence in her chest and she swerved her attention to sound of Taro's loud babbling.

"There was a voicemail from the Hyuuga," he said without any noticeable inflexion in his voice.

Hearing the surname she had once called her own locked the muscles in her features tightly and a thick lump formed in her throat so she couldn't breathe.

A pain as sharp as a knife twisted in her stomach at memory of how she had willed her stubborn fingers and pen across the divorce papers. Mad feelings had rioted inside her and for a moment she had been thoroughly tempted to rip the papers to bits. But she hadn't.

What she had however done was something she promised herself she wouldn't do.

She wept.

Day in, day out, she sat on the sofa with her face buried in her hands and her whole body wracking with sobs. She tried to crush the regret she felt, to damp it all back down again. She told herself that her decision was justified. But the remorse came nonetheless, along with a flood of other things too profound for words to convey their depth.

Was she right to have turned her back on Neji and give up on the one thing she had truly wanted—marriage and a family with the man she loved? Or should she have accepted his offer of remaining in that secure and privileged life he gave her and their children—and give up on her heart's deepest wish to experience a genuine loving relationship?

"_I don't love you."_

She winced at the memory of those words leaving her pain-stifled throat. Now that her emotions were no longer running wild, and she had taken an entire month to calm down, she knew for certain that she still loved him. Love wasn't something she could just switch on or off. It was an unfathomable, undeniable truth that filled her body and soul.

Sakura took in a shaky breath and looked away for a second. A spark of anger at Neji—at herself—at Sasuke restored her equilibrium and she turned to the Uchiha. "What do you mean _**was**_?" she asked edgily.

"I deleted it."

The pained gasp she released hurt her throat, earning a hard crushing look from Sasuke. He knew it the moment that her shoulders racked up and the air began to crackle. When he glanced at her face he knew all the anger inside her and the monstrous feelings of hurt had made a switch to something else.

Pressing her lips together, she shook her head and pushed chokily. "It could have been important."

"Well it wasn't," he self-declared, shrugging uncaringly at her rage, or her hurt.

She lifted her head to meet his gaze full on. "How do you know that?"

Then his mouth hardened with determination. His expression was hard and uncompromising. "The sender," he answered flatly.

She saw that steely determination to get across the point he had been making for the past month. If Neji hadn't been fired up by some primitive urge to fight for _**them**_, then the man didn't believe there was anything to fight for. It was a cruel thing to say, but in some way Sasuke was right.

He's always right, a small voice inside her head taunted and she fought to silence it, feeling a blush colour her cheeks.

Still, Neji could not be condemned. He had always had his son's best interest at heart. If it meant parting with her because their constant bickering created too much of a hostile environment for their children, then he'd do it. Had done it. But would two increasingly mobile and lively little boys thank her for turning her back on the offer of a lifetime, simply because their father didn't love her? Pride was a terrible reason for denying her sons what was rightfully theirs.

Then again, it had been pride that was responsible for her sons even having that birthright.

Her heart kicked out of rhythm. They had been through so much together—_so much_ that was now in vain.

Picking up on her unease, the brooding Uchiha exited the room. Not without instructing her to get dressed and go tend to her infants. He said it was bad enough they woke him up, her extended nap had forced him into keeping the brats' company.

Under normal circumstances she would have had a nasty retort perched for takeoff on her tongue. Given who the offender was and the fact that she knew he was joking, Sakura lifted her chin up and winged him a brief, tense smile. "I'll be out in a minute."

When taking into consideration how they came to the discovery that they were neighbours, it was a wonder how Sasuke managed to remain pleasant towards her and the twins.

She quirked up a brow at her thought. The word _pleasant_ and Sasuke didn't go in the same sentence unless _"is not" _fell somewhere in the between. And that morning when they came across each other, he had been just that. Not Pleasant.

Jiro had been throwing a tantrum due to teething and she could not get him to calm down. He kicked and screamed so much that at one point she found herself trying to find any distinguishable feature on his face to declare that he was in fact Taro and Neji had taken home her sweet little boy. She scarcely heard the sound of pounding on her front door above his wails but when she pulled it open, she scarcely felt air passing into her lungs.

Because there in front of her stood a pair of blazing onyz eyes, like a great, black ball of flames. Her heart skipped a couple beats and she shook all over, her legs going hollow except for the shooting stings of a telling heat. It repelled her, inside she was a shivering, quivering wreck of hurt and disgust. Hurt at the memories his sudden appearance drenched up and disgust that he still had an effect on her. The kind that someone other than her husband _(at the time)_ shouldn't have had on her.

"_Sasuke—?"_

"—_Sakura?"_

"_What are you doing here?" they chorused._

"_I live here," they answered, in awkward unison._

"_Oh…" it fell from both their lips at the same time and Sasuke shot her a seething look._

"_Does that thing belong to you?" he nudged his head at Jiro, who went quiet safe for a few sucking sounds disproportionate to his size._

_She saw the flash of hesitance in Sasuke's eyes as he asked and felt emboldened. She seized the momentary confidence and drew on something that washed away any concerns about what the ripple effect would be from answering him._

"_Yes he does," she answered, switching her weight to one leg._

_She took a step further out of the apartment, carefully watching Sasuke's reaction. His eyes widened and a muscle flexed in his jaw. His once familiar smell teased her nostrils, it took a will greater than she possessed not to let her eyes wander all over him to reacquaint herself with the contours on his body—the planes of his face._

"_Is there a problem?" Sakura found herself stuttering, hating herself for it but hating the tense and forbidding mask which seemed to have tightened his handsome face more._

_Sasuke said nothing, going very still for a moment and then stood back. This would be a good cue for hysteria, Sakura thought as she stared at him in disbelief, but she could not allow herself the indulgence of such an overused yet useless emotion. She registered the critical look he gave her son. _

_But it was her sheer short-sightedness which troubled her most. That she hadn't learned her lesson from the bad judgement she had made of this man and foolishly allowed herself to love another like him. Another with a heart of stone that made a mockery of the hard warmth that radiated from his body. Another who she had surrendered her all to and who had used her love as a cage to hold her prisoner to him. Even now. Even whilst they were apart._

_Something almost like relief crossed his features, making Sakura's insides contract as if to protect herself from pain. "Keep it quiet," his voice came deep and sharp, cutting her out of thought._

"_I would appreciate if you didn't refer to my child like an animated object," she found herself angling her neck defiantly. She hardened her heart against his charcoal eyes—eyes that she had once loved, possibly still did. "He has a name."_

_His eyes narrowed as they met in a silent clash with hers, but unexpectedly her fervent words pierced him. "Hyuuga…" he rolled the name off his tongue like it had sliced it. "I don't like Hyuugas."_

Sakura scrambled off the bed and took a quick shower, changing into a plain black sundress. As she put it on a part of her revolted at the colour, feeling instinctively that the time had come to stop the sulking around because of Neji. And the fact that it was undoubtedly Sasuke who had precipitated that change made her feel shaky. Pushing the thought aside she headed towards her dining room.

Her bedroom door opened onto an impressive rectangular hallway. The walls and floors were covered in limestone, and concealed lighting illuminated the space and the pair of double doors which separated her quarters from the rest of the apartment.

It was a very nice flat—if it could even be called that— with white walls, swish bathrooms, a modern kitchen, shiny marble floors, glass furniture, exotic plants and flowers and squishy sofas. She didn't want to think about how much money it must have cost to furnish the place. Coupled with the fact that it came with its own private pool and makeshift backyard with its synthetic grass that served a small playground…she'd say the rent was way over her budget.

As she approached the dining room, she heard Taro's shouts. With her heart thumping painfully she took a deep breath and went in. Two sets of eyes turned towards her. One she did her best to block out and the other a mirror image of the ones that haunted her dreams. She focused on Taro's as she came in, unable to help a smile from spreading across her face. Sasuke was deftly feeding him, making all sorts of emotions run through her.

For a second she couldn't believe what she was seeing in the depths of those deep black eyes. She couldn't believe it because it wasn't there, she told herself. But wasn't she already witnessing it by the hesitant smirks he gave Taro? The way he had charmed Jiro…? This was going way beyond the duties of a concerned neighbour.

While Sakura appreciated it she wasn't sure Neji would. And frankly, only that mattered. The last thing she wanted was to add Sasuke to their list of problems—to add him to _**her**_ list of problems.

She had to remember that, despite Sasuke's heroics, he had the power to do harm. To her relationship—_if it could even be called that—_with Neji. To her sons, because of that awful bone numbing terror she'd felt when she'd seen Jiro so defenseless around him. And harm to her. Sakura's eyes narrowed and her mouth thinned. He didn't have any power over her. But still the black cloud enveloped her a little more suffocatingly as she stepped further into the room.

"Y-you di-didn't ha-have to do that," her voice felt unused and too husky even though it came out as a stutter. "I'm so sorry that you had to," she said, feeling the corner of her mouth tug down on a sad little grimace. Guilt gripped her.

She overslept while her babies had lain awake, hungry and miserable.

Sasuke dismissed her need to apologize with a tense shrug. "I wanted to," he said but added quickly before too much was read into his statement, "It was the only way to get this one to shut up."

Taro was a mess, with food everywhere—all over him and his face. And it was no doubt as a result of fighting the raven-haired man off. He had a habit of being impolite to Sasuke. Scowling things Sakura knew to be a myriad of insults in baby language. His favourite phrase—profanity perhaps—to use went something like _"Sa-luh-da."_

Its English equivalent is unknown but judging from how fervently Taro says it, it wasn't a compliment.

"Sa!" he greeted from his high chair as she approached the table.

"Ma," she corrected him.

"Sa!" he repeated, shoving away the spoon Sasuke held to his mouth.

For one very normal and wry moment Sakura didn't doubt for a second that his winning grin could change in an instant to tears and tantrums. But even that thought made her heart twist, and the longing to just sit and study every single aspect of him was overwhelming with its force. There would never be enough hours in a day to spend with him. He was quite an animated character.

Reluctantly she looked away and turned to Sasuke who had moved to sit at the table. When he sat down her breath caught in her throat. She'd only just noticed that he was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, the material doing little to disguise the breadth and power of his chest.

She chided herself for noticing.

He looked at her over the rim of his coffee cup. His tone was as arctic as his eyes. "When everyone else calls you Sakura what do you expect him to call you?"

"I expect him to call me Ma," she said tightly. It annoyed her to no ends that her own child refused to acknowledge her as his mother. It made her feel blurred and ambiguous. When Sasuke's dark eyes flicked like hard black diamonds and his tense mouth parted to say something she added, "Jiro does."

"Ji!" Taro suddenly gave out, hitting his spoon nosily against the high chair repeatedly.

"Where is Jiro?" she asked urgently.

Abruptly Sasuke stood from the table, looking searchingly at the floor. "He was just here a minute ago."

Sakura was starting to feel slightly breathless and panicky seeing the abandoned toy train he must have been playing with. She tugged some air into her lungs, "What do you mean?" she shrieked, feeling like she was being turned inside-out.

She gave a start when Sasuke came to stand before her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders, his voice a low rasp. "Stop panicking and listen…" he muttered, the black bars of his eyebrows pulling together across the bridge of his nose. "It sounds like he's talking to someone."

Sakura listened, shivering as she heard it, soft whispers and the sound of something dragging across the floor in the hall way. Her panic spiked, "I think Neji's here."

Sakura started out the room. She had the most irrational fear that was galvanizing her movements, making them jerky. When she entered the hall, the scene that greeted her however, made her heart flip-flop.

Jiro was sitting on the floor with the telephone cord wrapped carelessly around his middle and legs. But what really made her stop in her tracks was that he had the receiver to his ear. He was shaking his head and gurgling incoherently with all the seriousness of a child on a mission who believed himself to be absolutely understood. And whoever he believed himself to be talking to was getting quite an earful.

"Sweetheart what are you doing?" Sakura asked, her hands working quickly to him untangled.

The boy chattered on and laughed, slobbering all over the phone.

"You're going to run up Ma's phone bill," she told him, taking the receiver away from him. Just before she replaced it, she could have sworn she heard chuckling on the line. "When you're older that phone call will come out of your allowance," she snatched him up and snuggled him close.

"No!" Jiro shrilled, stretching his hand in the direction of the phone.

"No what?" she buried her face in his neck, making loud kissing noises, listening to his giggles and feeling pure joy at the sound.

When they got to the dining room he started squirming, struggling to be down and crawling. Sasuke had removed Taro from the high chair and placed him on the dining table with a couple of playing blocks as a distraction.

She set Jiro down and watched him creep off at great speed. He had developed a soft spot for art and craft. The kind that involved doodling on the furniture with makers and chewing on the crayons until they no longer held identifiable shapes. She smiled and followed his movements with her eyes dutifully. For once he couldn't make her block everything out. Much as she tried to let him. Images of what she'd left behind in her life with Neji flashed through her mind with disconcerting images ease and frequency.

"I take it that it wasn't Hyuuga?" Sasuke's palm opened to show her a small pill and absently she accepted it. "I don't understand your disappointment," he said, but nothing flickered on the hard mask of his face as he held a glass out towards her.

Sending the liquid in the glass a dubious look, Sakura pulled herself up and took it from him. "Why are you being so nice to me?" the question left her mouth before she could find another way to structure it.

A curious stillness came into the room around them. And then Sasuke said quietly, holding her gaze, "You look like no one has been nice to you in a while."

He looked so calm, sounded so casual that she actually found herself waiting for him to say something else. When he didn't, she grudgingly popped the pill in her mouth and swallowed it down with the drink.

The drink tasted a bit odd but wasn't too unpleasant. Handing the glass back to him, she sank down on one of the chairs. Taro who had been busy stocking his blocks together sent her a studying glance, mumbling nonsensically. Ridiculously tears pricked her eyes, as if her heart was being wrenched from her chest just looking at him.

"Sa?" his face veered between crying and not crying.

"Yes baby?" she reached out and pinched his cheek.

He'd obviously decided against crying, and looked at her guilelessly, his mouth cracking into a huge grin, showing tiny baby teeth. He rubbed his forehead and babbled unintelligibly, "Da-luh-sa."

She didn't hear him.

He was adorable. Dark hair, pale skin and huge snowy eyes. Unusual and distinctive.

Too unusual and distinctive.

Her mouth wobbled. She had to push a hand up to cover it. A shimmer of something horrendously desperate went riddling right through her and the hot, bitter tears that burned her eyes burst like a dam exploding.

"It's all my fault, if I—" her throat clogged by shamed tears. "If I hadn't been stressing myself out with medical school and Neji's indifference towards me, I would have still had my baby."

Sasuke sat forward in his chair and saw her ramrod-straight back, her tightly held body. It was too thin. The high ponytail her hair was caught in highlighted her long neck, and the bones in her wrist seemed so fragile—as if he might break them just by taking hold. His jaw clenched and he remained mute, keeping his eyes glued to hers.

"I lost my baby because of a dream I only pursued to earn his respect and another I knew to be unattainable." The bitterness etched into her face, tinged her tone. "Then I robbed my sons of the life they deserve. What sort of mother am I?"

"One that needs to quit feeling so sorry for herself!"

The angry rasp of his voice ripped around the elegant dining room. In the silence that thundered after it Sasuke pulled in a tense, seething breath, angrily aware that he must have frightened the boys.

He shifted tensely in his seat, and looked at her steadily from under hooded lids.

When she felt a napkin being thrust into her hand she grabbed it gratefully, and after a while the racking sobs subsided to the odd hiccup until she was able to draw back and make an attempt to gather herself.

"The Hyuuga's sins are not your own—" he held on to her hand and patted it sympathetically. His voice was a low murmur, which was very soothing, although she wasn't really taking in a word he was saying.

She was back to thinking about Neji, thinking about the love he professed at his final moment of desperation. Just the memory of it annihilated her equilibrium, making her clutch at the napkin.

She nearly leaped out of her skin with a muffled yelp when Sasuke captured her chin between his thumb and forefinger gently tilted her face up until she raised her vulnerable gaze up to his unfathomable dark eyes.

"—you have the self-destructive habit of growing attached the things that are no good for you."

He sounded accusing, and Sakura bristled. "Like I did with you?"

He just looked at her, eyes glittering.

Why did she suddenly feel so breathless? A jolt of electricity seemed to pass between them, and out of nowhere came a tingling awareness Sakura felt she needed to run away from—very fast.

And yet she couldn't move, pinned to the spot by Sasuke's black gaze. His eyes rested on her mouth. She heart started to thump crazily in her chest. He wasn't going to—

His scent enveloped her and his breath was feathering close to her mouth before she registered fully that he'd closed the distance between them. She had an immediate deep and visceral reaction. Despair filled her. She brought her hands up to his chest to push him away.

He let go of her chin to stroke the back of his hand down her soft cheek and she tried her best not to cringe from his touch but she wasn't quite successful in masking her reaction because his eyes iced over and his hand dropped heavily back to his side. "At least I didn't give you false hope," he said beneath his breath.

"You didn't give me a chance," she expelled prickly and swallowed back a dark, intrusive jealousy that sprang out at her because Sasuke had chosen to give someone else a chance.

"And the Hyuuga did?" he asked in his most maddeningly sardonic and pragmatic voice. "What he gave you wasn't a chance Sakura. Two brats, a broken heart and the ghost of—" A startled expletive finished his sentence.

It was like balancing on a knife-edge, she thought. Flashing glimpses of steely expressions lanced between Sasuke and Taro, who had slammed one of his wooden playing block down on the Uchiha's knuckles. And with a bit more force than a child his age should be able to.

Hearing Sasuke's growl Jiro's looked up from where he was marking on the tile with a black crayon.

"Da?"

Taro twisted his head in his brother's direction, his expression cold. "No da!"

"No?" Jiro's forehead creased.

Tension zipped between the two of them and on a hot morning Sakura suddenly felt so chilled her flesh grew goose-pimples. Then in an ill-tempered rage, Taro sailed a block Jiro's way, cracking across his face. It split his lips and sent his head flying back into an instant hysteric howling fit.

"No da!" Taro enunciated angrily and pointed at Sasuke who was still clutching his hand.

Inarticulate rage twinned with some disturbing beat in Sakura's chest. A black mood engulfed her and she momentarily forgot that she was talking to her infant. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" she demanded, rushing to gather Jiro in her arms.

"Fup?"

"Shut up and don't let me hear you repeat that!" A sob of her own broke free when Jiro locked his arms around her neck like they were welded there. His little lips trembled against her skin and her heart clenched painfully. "You've bruised him," she hissed accusingly.

Taro's shrug was so insolent she could kill him. "Ji ba."

"No, you're the bad one," she told him fiercely, wagging an admonishing finger. "You're just like your father."

He pouted, cultivating a baffled frown which completely infuriated her. "Da?"

"Yes da…" she spat the single syllable from her mouth like it tasted sour. "Your brother is nothing but loving towards you yet all you do is hurt him."

Taro's brows furrowed, his silver eyes going downcast by the minute.

"Remember that time I didn't give you any gummy worms because you had been naughty?" she asked him and he pouted seemingly at the memory. "Who gave you his—so you would stop crying?"

"Ji," his little shoulders sagged.

Sakura hadn't expected him to answer but that was what she liked about Taro, his comprehension made scolding him more effective.

"Ji ba. Kay no da!" he protested, an angry sound in the back of his throat.

She was almost certain Taro had said Jiro was bad for calling Sasuke _Da_. "I know, I know," was the only thing she could say to soothe him. The child was seething.

"I don't think he likes me very much," Sakura could feel Sasuke's deep breath against the nape of her neck.

"Sa-luh-da," Taro snarled at him.

"What is he saying?" the Uchiha asked.

"Da-luh-sa."

"I only wish I knew," Sakura sighed, rubbing Jiro's back in a feeble attempt at concealing her discomfiture. Sasuke was a little too close for comfort; she could practically feel the heat of his body mingling with hers in the little space between them. "He only talks like that when you're around."

He chuckled, using a finger to tuck away a couple loose strands of pink hair behind her ears. Sakura's face morphed through every possible shades of red—both known and unknown to man.

Neither of them noticed the figure in the doorway.

"Really he does? I feel special," Sasuke drawled sarcastically.

"Don't."

The sound of Neji's voice, ice‐cold and forbidding, shocked them into springing apart. Sakura felt the blood rush to her face and she stared helplessly at him.

There was a blur of movement and she had a sense of his size, his magnetism, even just in that quick moment as he crossed the room and picked up Taro. His scent washed over her. It was familiar. Her heart had already stopped beating. Blood froze in her veins.

There was no mistaking the angry tension of his stance. "He's trying to tell you that Sakura loves his father," came Neji's cool, deep voice.

Her face went as pale as alabaster, her eyes like two huge bruises of colour and she trembled as lightly as a leaf, barely perceptible. Her head throbbed, and she put a hand to her temple, struggling to make sense of what he was implying. And then it hit her.

If "_Sa-luh-da"_ meant _"Sakura loved daddy"_

Then _"Da-luh-sa_" meant—

Warmth rolled over her in a heated wave. Oh Kami, Taro shouldn't talk like that. He shouldn't give her ideas, shouldn't weigh down her head with absurd thoughts.

"Neji what are you doing here?" she asked.

Dark brows drew together over piercingly lavender eyes. They pierced all the way through to her heart and soul, ripping her open, laying her bare to the myriad expressions crossing his face—outrage being the dominant one."What am I doing here?" he echoed incredulously. "What is Uchiha doing here?" His voice sounded guttural making her feel weak.

Sakura felt her mouth move as if to speak. But nothing came out.

"What am I doing here? Jiro called," Neji explained.

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><p><strong>AN: This was practically a filler chapter… one that should take us to what was mentioned at the end of last chapter. So please pardon its lack of eventfulness. I've been writing like shit lately. Well there you have it...Neji angst, Sakura angst and Twin drama/(cuteness?)**

**BTW Jiro had hit redial...incase you were wondering how he called Neji :) he must have seen Sakura do it before.**

**I will be putting an end to our misery (this story) in two more chapters…at least, that's the plan. Please continue to review to keep me motivated, I fall off the wagon easily. I've never stopped loving you guys though, sorry I've been so shitty lately.**

**Review?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

**A/N: I'm not well so please pardon the overdue update and the fact that it sucks…immensely. I have decided to keep this going until chapter thirty. I don't know how you feel about that but there are a number of loose ends that needs tying up and I'm a very thorough person. Keep your fingers cross that I do end this tale on a good note xD Italics = flashback.**

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><p>Sakura found herself looking at the frighteningly angry man she had always known lurked just beneath the surface of that urbane mask he liked to wear.<p>

Something inside her coiled into a tight ball in the pit of her stomach then sprang out in a jarring wave of agitation that had her feet scuffing below and her eyes flickering huntedly around the room before she found the strength to hold his gaze.

Her nerves had nerves. The spinning, churning sensation in her stomach quadrupled and she was suddenly grateful she hadn't eaten breakfast already. Neji's expression was so still, so serious, she was half-terrified to even speak.

Fear blossomed in her chest and she clung to her sobbing son, rubbing his back soothingly. She sucked in a gulp of air then released it slowly; half-afraid she wouldn't be able to draw another when she needed it. She felt her heartbeat tick off the passing seconds and knew she should say something. But she couldn't think of anything.

If looks could kill, she would have been decapitated immediately.

Sasuke was the first to react, stepping towards the seething Hyuuga with a smirk on his face, but Neji stayed where he was, making no effort to move forward and take the hand which was outstretched towards him in a gesture of introduction. "Uchiha Sasuke."

His attempt to act polite filled the pinkette's weary brain with a muzzy confusion. Sasuke was never the type to try and break the ice, if anything, his indifference always aided in its solidification. So this was a little uncharacteristic of him, especially given what he knew of her relationship with Neji. And the fact that he had openly declared his hatred for Hyuugas.

She wondered what the story behind that was and if Sasuke also felt ill towards Neji on her behalf. During one of her recent breakdowns she had him told about the arrangement and the miscarriage but she hardly saw it as grounds for him to hate the man. It had nothing to do with him.

Under normal circumstances Sakura would never have spilled her guts to Sasuke, out of fear of what he might think of her after learning how she signed herself over to Neji via a contract. And there was still that part of her that was a little protective of Neji's name and did not wish to reveal the ugly truth of their relationship. But that night, she had been at the pinnacle of her distress, the dam had broke and everything she tried to keep bottled up inside her came pouring out.

"_Sakura! Sakura!"_

_She was being shaken. Crying and fighting, she found her fist connecting with flesh. And sickness rose in her throat adding to the terror._

"_I hate you! It's your fault our daughter didn't make it!" she screamed instinctively, utterly disorientated. "And you have the nerve to lie about how you feel about me!"_

_A hand clapped over her mouth._

_Normally her eyes stayed stubbornly shut during her nightmares, but now they snapped open._

_The light was on, allowing her to see Sasuke bending over her, his robe hanging loose to show his bare torso above cobalt pyjama bottoms._

_Groggy from sleep, not fully alert, she lashed out, her arms and legs pummeling him unmercifully. Blindly she launched herself at him, beating her fists against his chest and slapped his face, her hand cracking with a sound like a pistol shot. "I know you don't love me!" she raged. "But you should have fought for us—for your babies' sake!"_

"_Sakura!" Sasuke grabbed her hands and wrestled them behind her back. He was breathing hard, his nostrils flared and white in contrast to the scarlet marks on his cheeks, his perfect white teeth bared in a grimace. "This has got to stop. You're scaring the damn kid," he grated in her ear. _

_Her enormous emerald eyes stared up at his icily angry face as she came to full consciousness. "What? Where's Jiro?" she asked doggedly._

_Her tense body went limp and he removed his hand. "Tenten has him. He was shaking all over when she picked him up, what is wrong with you?" his mouth twisted in disgust. "You were yelling fit to wake the dead!" _

_In misery, she squeezed her eyes tight shut. Would she never be free of her nightmares? Sometimes they were about her daughter and other times she relieved the horror of Neji's rejection in vivid detail and colour. _

_Those white eyes...no love in them, no life...as dead as the child that might have been. He'd wanted it. And God help her, so had she. Gut-wrenching disappointment that it wasn't to be. They came relentlessly night after night and she almost feared going to sleep, knowing that some time she would wake as she had now, bathed in sweat and shaking with a terror of something unknown. _

"_You might want to fix your clothes," Sasuke said curtly and in the dim light she saw to her embarrassment that one sleepy-nippled breast had escaped from her low-cut pink satin nightdress._

_As she scrambled to draw the covers up to her chin, she shivered, the perspiration cooling on her heated skin._

"_We didn't—I mean, I didn't mean to wake you."_

_The grim-faced Uchiha turned away and strode to the door. "It's the downside of having neighbours with kids."_

"_Please don't leave!" she cried desperately before she could stop herself._

_He stopped dead, his back still to her, fists clenched at his sides. He spoke in a low and husky tone. "I'm getting a little tired of this Sakura. It's the same thing almost every night." He jerked his head around to look at her. "What is it?"_

_A wave of sadness rolled through her at the memory of her miscarriage. It had thrown a black cloud over everything._

"_It's nothing," she whispered hoarsely, still in shock from the depth of emotions the dream had evoked._

"_Don't tell me it's nothing! You were hysterical!" His black eyes went cold and hard and his voice shook with fury. "And I noticed that you've lost a little weight, are you on drugs?" he demanded with sudden harsh suspicion._

"_No!" she cried piteously. "How can you think that?"_

_The accusation made her feel worse. She fought to control the waves of nausea as they rolled through her gut and rose to her throat. But she couldn't defend herself anymore because she was unable to speak or to stop the violent shaking. Her teeth chattered and the lines of his mouth flattened out with irritation._

"_Sakura," he muttered._

_And in a moment she was being encircled by warm, comforting arms. Held to a naked chest in which a heart beat with such force that it sounded like a rapid drumbeat. _

"_I've never done drugs!" she choked out. "It was a just a dream," she muttered, shuddering. Her eyes grew enormous, and thinking of it, she began to breathe fast with fear, hating the feeling of helplessness in her dream. "But I can't go back to sleep, it'll just come back," she blurted out. _

_Sasuke frowned. "It's unlike you to be negative."_

"_I know! But this isn't any ordinary nightmare," She clammed up. "It's like a very unpleasant memory magnified tenfold."_

"_Hn?"_

"_Please," she begged helplessly. "Don't leave me too."_

_With almost indecent haste he pulled away, tossing her a towel which she used to wipe the beads of perspiration that had broken out all over her face and throat. But her hand shook too much to hold the glass of water he produced later. Sasuke held it to her lips and frowned as she took nervous little sips._

_His expression was bleak. "Calm down," he advised tautly. "Forget what it is that's bothering you."_

_If only she could! She closed her eyes in misery and felt his hand cover hers again, stilling its trembling in an instant. He always had the ability to make her feel secure. Even if it was an illusion._

"_Thank you," she said, with a grateful glance at his harrowed face. "No, please!" she protested when he made to draw his hand away._

"_Be realistic. I can't stay, can I?" he said, not unkindly._

_But she gripped his wrist to stop him from leaving, overwhelmed by an illogical sense of hysteria and trying desperately to locate the protective barrier of her self-control, which seemed to have deserted her for the moment._

"_Just stay for a short while, till I've gather myself together again," she pleaded, hating the sense of panic that had turned her into a pathetic wimp. And hating the feeling of déjà vu that came over her, except this time, the man who she was seeking comfort from was the very one who had led her into seeking it from Neji —who now was the cause of her dilemma. The entire situation was reversed._

_The tip of Sasuke's tongue moistened his lips as he contemplated her doubtfully. "If this is a ploy—" he let his voice tailed away. During their adolescent days Sakura and Ino made a habit out of sabotaging any relationships he tried to establish with other females. Not that there were many._

_Clearly, such behaviour was a thing of the past. But a guy's ego can only hope that the girl he'd loved back then still harboured some semblance of feelings for him._

"_It's not! I swear!" she half sobbed. "I know you're with Tenten."_

"_You should talk to an expert—"_

"_I'm not crazy!" she protested. Just heartbroken, a voice in her head finished off for her._

"_No, but you're disturbed," he gritted. "I've never seen you like this before."_

_There was a long pause while she gazed at him anxiously, willing him to remain with her. Holding his warm, dry hand, she felt his strength flow into her. "Stay!" she croaked._

_He gave a small and resigned sigh. "Very well. Just till you fall asleep," he muttered grudgingly, virtually snatching his hand away from her._

_Sakura gasped, she knew Sasuke had said the words but it was Neji's voice that she heard in her head. He had said the exact same thing to her __**that**__ night. She pressed her lips together in dismay, trying to blank out the memory, the images. "Maybe you should go after all," she declared vehemently._

_He shook his head irritably. "Not until you tell me what the hell is going on. And so help me God if it has something to do with the Hyuuga I will punch him in the face," he said, making an angry gesture with his hand._

Sakura thought she had condemned herself, out of her own lips. Pain sliced at her like sword thrusts after she had finished ranting. Sasuke surprised her by being unbelievably understanding, saying that she did what she had to do for her sons. For a moment she had to close her eyes and battle for control over the overwhelming urge to fling herself on the ground and cry until she could cry no more.

She had choked back the tears however, biting her lip till it drew blood. He said the fact that she allowed herself to fall in love with the Hyuuga despite everything he'd put her through represented strength and that she wasn't supposed to feel ashamed. Coming from him, the words had reached deep into her and touched her heart.

She was a survivor, he told her. She would come out of this. One step at a time.

A little part of her thought he felt responsible for everything that she had been through. If he hadn't humiliated her that night and sent her drinking, then she wouldn't have fallen into Neji's arms and had to endure all the shit that came along with him. None of this would have happened.

But—

Uchiha Sasuke? Remorse? Such a thing was unheard of.

"What do you mean Jiro called you?" Sakura frowned, lagging behind with her response to Neji's sudden appearance. She felt sort of suspended in time, and was finding it rather hard to drag her eyes away from his angry face. Even in jeans and a sweater, he had the art of looking as if he had just stepped off a fashion catwalk; he emanated a sleek elegance and assurance that was totally masculine.

"You left the telephone on the floor, he must have hit the redial button," Sasuke supplied, his hand dropping as he eyed Neji cautiously—as well he might, Sakura thought, because the man looked fit to kill. And for reasons she couldn't understand, he looked very much as though there could be no better thing than taking on the Uchiha.

"What is he doing here?" Neji repeated in the kind of soft, sibilant voice that sent tremor of apprehension racing up and down her spine.

"What is it to you?" Sakura made to move towards him, but fell back at the glance he shot in her direction. His face darkened like thunder and she shuddered, afraid of him.

Her heart sunk a little. Guilt and resentment sucked relentlessly at her stomach, because she had assumed that it was the shock of Sasuke showing up in her room that had shaken her up.

The truth was that she had experienced a magnetic and undeniably sexual response that had briefly, mortifyingly reduced her to a positive jelly of juvenile confusion. But it wasn't her fault—no, it definitely wasn't—and there wasn't anything personal about it either, she told herself bracingly. So why should she feel a guilty sense of betrayal over a momentary spur of attraction to someone who was not Hyuuga Neji?

Sasuke was staggeringly beautiful to look at, she reasoned. But deep down she knew that wasn't the true source of the problem. He had something a whole lot more dangerous than his potent, sexually devastating allure. It was a piece of her heart. Was it first love or true love they say that never dies?

Sakura thought feverishly about it until her head spun and pounded with tension. As appreciative as she was of Sasuke's newfound understanding and their budding friendship, it left her emotions feeling as unreliable as an active volcano. A feral wail of misery and frustration rise up within her.

Nothing good would come from entertaining thoughts of a man who was off the market and rightfully so by a woman who could keep his arrogance in line. She wished that she could say the same for his libido because Sakura was almost certain that Sasuke had made a pass on her earlier. Which wasn't entirely an unpleasant thought, she admitted to herself.

She pressed her treacherous lips together; Neji fixed her with his penetrating gaze. In that moment, she learnt that she could hate almost as much as she loved.

She felt a slow, burning anger begin to curl in the pit of her stomach. Hatred flamed like a shooting star through her. She needed it. She needed hatred to race like adrenalin through her veins. Only hatred could swallow up and ease the agonizing pain he had inflicted.

She would not allow anything else to surface. As dominant as the other emotion in her was, she had to fight to keep it recessive. Or it'd be the death of her.

Sighing, she acknowledged that she couldn't turn off such a grand passion like a light switch. But she had to find a way of relegating Hyuuga Neji from her life.

Emerald eyes centered on him with near-physical force.

_What is it to me?_ The indifference he heard in her question was like a red rag to a bull. "I don't like the idea of my wife getting cozy with another man in front of my kids," he bit out, taking a step towards her, although what he really wanted to do was cover the distance between himself and Sasuke and haul him out of the apartment by his scruff.

Not wanting to make a scene kept him from fulfilling the desire.

Sakura gazed into his eyes, a slight frown formed, drawing her pink brows together—puzzled. _Another man?_ His words resonated with her while she absently switched the arm she held Jiro in.

_Wife? _Wasn't _ex__‐__wife _a more fitting description of their current status? She looked at him in total bewilderment. She would have been more capable of appreciating that startling display of possessiveness if she wasn't presently feeling as though she had somehow been transported to a parallel universe.

It made her want to weep with a terrible kind of yearning as she couldn't help but imagine how it would feel if his words were inspired by jealously, rather than paternal duty. But that was selfish, wasn't it, when her own fiery dreams of love with Neji lay in ashes?

"Don't go there—" She pleaded in growing confusion. Was he jealous? She hoped he was. Those were the enraged, possessive remarks of a jealous mate, but since when had Neji been either jealous or possessive?

He wasn't jealous, she assured herself. He was simply being his usual arrogant self, presuming every man's motives were as basic as his own. She couldn't shake the feeling though, that there was something else going on here. The air felt thick and heavy with threat.

"—we were just talking," she protested, while her heart continued to beat out an erratic tattoo.

Taro shook his head in furious disagreement, tapping on his father's shoulder and pointing at Sasuke.

He babbled angrily and Neji caught a few references that he understood but wasn't able to arrange them coherently. What he distinctly noted however, was the infant's repeated use of _'ba'_ suggesting that someone had been bad and he kept flicking his little, silver eyes between Sakura and Sasuke.

He studied the duo before him. Sasuke shifted his weight to one leg and stiffened. His onyx eyes narrowed and Neji saw that his hands had clenched. Guilt, he thought dully.

They had leapt apart like guilty lovers, he thought irrationally, and the more Sakura tried to defend herself, the more culpable she seemed to him. Rage was coursing through him like a toxin. He didn't know where it was coming from.

He could almost taste it in his mouth, and had to breathe deeply to regain some of his formidable self-control.

Having been called "_bad"_ quiet a number of times—by Sakura—Taro was able to discern its meaning and convict others guilty of being the same. Jiro was usually at the end of such accusations, even when it was Taro who had been the offender. But Neji found that today, Sakura was being condemned as well, which was a little disconcerting because he never spoke ill of his mother before.

So there was cause for concern.

The Hyuuga was besieged by a host of unpleasant, conflicting emotions. He had never before been aware that he was a man who had a comfort zone, a place which was inaccessible to the rest of the human race. But he was keenly aware that she had managed to barge right into it precisely when Sasuke was clearly back on the scene...and into her life.

He found that when he tried to think about it his brain seemed to shut down, leaving him floundering in a morass of weirdly unanswerable questions. He didn't like it. It distracted him from the purity of his rage, forced him to ask _why _exactly he was so enraged.

But then a fierce shaft of pure jealousy streaked right through him hitting him with a clarity that was almost painful in its intensity.

Contending to get his wife back would prove to be counter-productive if he allowed her to keep the Uchiha around, especially when he took their past into consideration. Naruto had told him that Sasuke was Sakura's first love. And even Neji knew that one never forgets one's first—first love, at least—in Sasuke's case. He proudly wore the sash of his wife's **'first'** and if he played his cards right, he'd be her very last.

But in his mind, Neji was tormented by the picture of Sasuke and Sakura snuggling up together with his boys. Normally adept at eliminating anything that threatened to disturb his much valued equilibrium, he was finding it impossible to erase the distasteful image from his head.

He made himself look at Sasuke. By active choice, he had only seen him a handful of times on his visits and it struck him that, yes, Uchiha was a man who might seem to him lightweight but to some women could easily appear appealing. He had an unruly look to him, the sort that often accompanied expensive vehicles and shirtless abs on the cover of an auto magazine.

A dare-devil.

He shuddered at the thought that Sakura may find that particular trait exciting. She had always had that kind of ride or die attitude towards life and Neji was the type of guy who liked to play it safe.

His tension racketed up a notch and a sense of purpose crystallized inside him like a block of ice. What if she had already been subconsciously comparing him to Sasuke?

Jealousy and possessiveness, two weaknesses he had always prided himself on not having, rose in him like a red mist. To top it all off, Sasuke at that very instant had the barefaced cheek to tell him, "Chill Hyuuga, Sakura's her own woman."

"Kay!" Taro wailed, his chubby cheeks flushing with colour. "Go!"

Neji watched his son in silent fascination and fell head-over heels in love for the second time in his life. He felt a surge of satisfaction go through him. The boy was literally growling, like a defenceless bear cub hoping to fend off a looming predator.

"Fup en go!" his little, porcelain face puckered with annoyance

Neji shot Sakura a questioning glance, not too sure he liked the latest addition to Taro's growing vocabulary. "Have you been swearing around them?" he demanded vehemently, it sounded as though the child had told Sasuke to _'fucking go'_—at least to him it did. At the moment, he can't say that he minded.

Sakura gave a little choking cry and then swallowed nervously. She could only stare at Taro in surprise and horror, having translated what he said in her head. "Stop that you little brat!" her jade eyes glittered with such ferocity that the baby quailed, recognizing the threat behind that particular look.

"Go!" Taro's voice lowered until it eventually went quiet, like a car engine that had been revved and then killed. He drew in a long, shuddering breath. Neji noticed there were startled tears in his eyes.

In an attempt to stave the effect of his mother's punishing glare, Neji brought the child's head gently down on his shoulders. Taro felt so soft and warm against his chest that a lump swelled in his throat as emotion spilled in a flood of liquid heat through his body. A pain was racking him. It was sweet and hurting at the same time.

Damn it, he loved the boy.

"Never mind her, I'm here to take you home anyway," he whispered, his fingers touched the small hands and were gripped to a series of coos and gurgles. "I don't like the way you talk to him," Neji declared, in a slicingly cold voice that lashed her more surely than if he'd yelled at her.

"Well I don't like the way you spoil him," she countered, gasping at the expression on his face, it was one of utter repugnance. "When you pet him like that, you're rewarding his bad behaviour."

"He hasn't done anything wrong," the lines of his mouth flattened out with irritation. It was becoming quite obvious that Sakura preferred Jiro to Taro, she made no bones about it. And Neji resented her for it, a parent's love wasn't suppose to be partial.

Most of the things babies did were for the attention, Taro was no exception, even if he was a handful. Since of late Neji realized that his vocabulary was getting increasingly negative as well. He felt near homicidal at the thought that Sakura must have been calling his child stupid for Taro to have added 'wopid' to his word stock.

"He threw a fucking playing block in his brother's face," she said from the pit of her misery. "At this point a cage is the only thing that'll contain him. I suggest you take one along with him in the mornings when you drop him off."

Neji winced, very softly he begged her, "Please do not swear in front of them." His eyes lifted to hers—hot, burning, indicating the seething emotions his voice was repressing. "At the rate that you're going, Taro's first actual sentence might end up being something awfully profane."

"And when that happens, I sure hope he tells you to go fuck yourself," she choked, hating him, her eyes bleak and splintered with ice.

Neji's breath hissed in with sharp displeasure, but he hell-bent on not letting his composure slip.

"Da," Taro tilted his head back to look up at him, "Ji boo-boo," he told him, plucking at his own lips with his fingers. "Ji ba."

"He does?" Neji asked the tot. "He is?"

"Don't try to be cute, you—" white teeth pressed into Sakura's full bottom lips as if the rest of her sentence was stuck firmly in her throat. "Just take him and leave," she rasped out at Neji.

She heard him move, felt an unnecessary tingle of anticipation begin at her toes and start to run through her as his feet brought him to stand behind her. She quelled the urge to stiffen up warily. "What are you doing?"

Jiro stirred in her arms and bounced in excitement. She felt his heart thudding so violently that it seemed it might leap right out his ribcage. He squealed and fidgeted until it was a struggle just to maintain a firm grip on him.

"Hey tiger," Neji murmured. Sakura heard the heavy swallow he took. Emotion was filling his throat as it was choking hers. She swallowed too. If she was certain of nothing else in life, she was certain of the love the man had for their babies. He loved them with unashamed intensity, and was content, indeed happy to focus his emotions on them.

But there was never going to be anything deeper left over for her. And she shouldn't expect there to be, for he'd never made any promises to her.

And because she couldn't get her priorities in order and stop expecting more from him than he was capable of giving her, their marriage hadn't survived.

"That's a nasty bruise. Why haven't you put anything on it yet?" He exhaled sharply.

Sakura growled low in her throat, hating that he should sound so demanding and accusing. "Why am I the one to come under fire when your little minion is the one who's responsible for this?"

Neji glared daggers in the back of her head, "You want me to blame Taro for your neglect?"

She sunk her teeth into her tongue to refrain from snapping at him. Neglect? He was the only neglectful parent. Jiro rarely got to see any of him lately, whenever he came over it was either to pick up or drop off Taro and he spent not a minute longer than it took to do so.

In fact, Sasuke spent far more time with Jiro than Neji did, it was no surprise that the boy was confused as to what role his father truly played in his life. Spoiling him with new toys _(that Taro self-declares his own, because in his head, anything his father buys belongs to him)_ and sweet treats didn't cut it. Jiro needed him around, and she was willing to sacrifice keeping the boys on weekends to make it happen.

Besides, she had them for the majority of the week. It seemed only fair to allow Neji the luxury of keeping them every weekend. She could do with the break as well; a particular bad egg that went by the alias Taro was driving her nuts.

Neji must have touched Jiro's lips, because he flinched and sucked in a breath. But no sooner had he cringed, had he burst into a jabber of baby talk, whacking his hands on her back in uncontrollable glee.

"You called me, here I am," Neji said in a voice he only reserved for the twins. It was soft and loving—tender even. "Now what's so important that you couldn't just tell me over the phone?" he chuckled at Jiro.

He talked enthusiastically and giggled, his drool seeping through the fabric of Sakura's dress. She felt a slight increase in his weight and twisted her neck to see Neji's hand on his head, ruffling his dark hair.

If she had a knife she would have speared her chest and punctured her heart for flipping at the smile that curved his lips.

"The redial button is big and red. It's bound to catch his eye," Sakura commented dryly, not wishing to make him feel any more special than he already did over Jiro's accidental phone call.

Neji was too lost in Jiro's spluttered conversation to take notice of her jab.

"What do you want?" she asked him tightly.

The word 'want' couldn't describe his need—or that of his son's. It was more visceral than just missing them desperately. It was as if part of him had been ripped away to leave a raw and bleeding wound.

And he could tell that the twins were suffering more deeply. They didn't know why both their parents weren't there to tuck them in at nights, cuddle and play with them.

Together.

As they were accustomed to doing.

Thinking about it, and how miserable Taro and Jiro must be, he felt as if swords were being plunged into his body over and over again.

"Your brother has been naughty, how shall we punish him?" he asked.

Jiro lifted his hands and flexed his tiny fingers at him, suggesting that he was to come closer. As Neji did so, Sakura tensed up, forcing her mind to ignore the presence of the large frame merely inches away from her. Her spine was ramrod straight, her shoulders rigidly squaring, every limb seized up in contradiction of her rapidly pounding heart.

"I can't hold you both," Neji told Jiro who made a testy 'humph' sound and pouted. "Fine, I'll put Taro down," he sighed, unable to resist those big moon-like eyes.

"No!" Taro was quick to protest, pounding his fist on Neji's chest. "Ji ba."

Sakura interpreted his behaviour as acting out because he thought Jiro had betrayed their father by referring to Sasuke as 'Da' but she couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes. He was too much of a selfish sport.

The way he behaved towards Jiro made her think back to how parasitic her relationship with Neji had been. He fed off of the fact that she loved him, wielded it as his strength while converting it to a weakness of hers. She would have given anything to get in his good books, yet he had always been content with keeping her on her wrong side.

He made absolutely no effort to return a fraction of the kindness she had shown him. And like a desperate fool, she had sat there and endured the heartache, waiting for something that would never come.

Appreciation.

Reciprocation.

It was exactly the same with the twins. Taro had a sadistic sort of nature about him; he liked to make his brother cry. And poor Jiro is always trying to win him over—in hopes that the torture ends—by sharing his toys and favourite treats. Having been a victim of such callousness Sakura understood Jiro's plight and the eventual feeling of resentment it could lead to. She didn't want that kind of bad blood brewing between her boys.

Sometimes it hurt to acknowledge the similarities between the boys' relationship and that of her own with their father. It was partly why she was so rough with Taro. She refused to raise a carbon copy of her soon-to-be ex husband because any relationship with such a person was doomed.

"Peas," Jiro seem to plea with Neji.

Sakura's heart jolted to a sudden halt, her baby was adopting common courtesy. It was utterly adorable. They were grasping the basics at an alarming speed, and while they weren't able to express themselves clearly, she was certain they comprehended the messages being conveyed to them.

"Please?" Neji corrected, sounding a little in awe himself. "When you ask so nicely what can I do?"

He crept closer and before Sakura's body had a chance to react to the nearness, Jiro launched himself at the Hyuuga, latching his arms around his neck, his tiny feet fighting gravity to walk along her chest. She had to grab his legs in an iron grip to prevent him from literally crawling out of her arms and over her shoulders.

Reflexes had Neji tipping forward to ensure that the child didn't fall.

For balance he had to brace his palms on the shallow indentation at the base of her spine. She found herself tilting forward at the mild force of his hand, it wasn't enough to fall but it sent her body into a potent contact with the leanness and powerfulness of his. The heat and the ferociously physical feel of him against her momentarily shrivelled her defences.

Her breath rattled in her dry throat, a blush highlighting her pale complexion. An utterly inappropriate tingle of erotic awareness spread through her body like poison.

A little whimper escaped her throat in spite of her attempt to hold it back. Her tummy filled with nausea and an appalling sense of shame that she knew she could do nothing to assuage. She had never imagined that her reactions could rove so violently out of her control.

It was so disgusting to react this way to him. It made her want to have a bath and scrub herself raw.

"Boo-boo," she heard Taro say.

She gentle yanked Jiro away from Neji and spun on her heels to face Taro with embittered eyes. "How about I give you a boo-boo?" she threatened, all thoughts of being swamped by Neji's proximity faded.

Jiro was currently sporting a bruised lip because of that little monster. He was out of control. Neji claimed he was the perfect host when his brother stayed over but so far all Taro has proven is that he's a menace.

"How about you try?" Neji's pearly eyes were like two pinpoints of anger lancing into her, until he grimly hooded them over with his lids, closing her out. "And you haven't answered my question."

One didn't need to be a genius to figure out which question he was referring to.

Sakura sighed. If she had the energy she might have objected to the condemnatory tone of his voice, just as she might have objected to him standing there, dominating the room as he seemed to dominate every place he went.

Single-minded, stubborn and handsome. So damn handsome. And she would never forget the power of his sexuality, no matter how many times she told herself that it was no longer relevant to either of them. If he so desired, he could use it as a weapon if he needed to, she recognized weakly.

She wouldn't put it past him. Hyuuga Neji did anything he needed to do to have his own way.

And she would be absolutely powerless if he decided to use her attraction to him against her rather than feelings. She could always tap back into to his contemptible treatment of her to defend herself emotionally but physical attraction couldn't be denied or fought.

Silence pulsed as if it were about to explode.

"The boys were making a ruckus and Sasuke came over to see what was wrong," Sakura filled the awkward silence with the worst choice of explanation and the taut lines of Neji's face darkened further.

"And you couldn't tend to them yourself?" he elevated a dark eyebrow.

"I was asleep," Even with his face stony cold and her emotions all over the place, Sakura was vitally aware of that leashed power and grace that was so hypnotic. His impact on her was so powerful that it made her feel giddy. "And like I had asked, what's it to you? We're no longer married."

She'd said it all in one breath, rushing the words out. But hearing them said out loud gave her a cold shiver. God. She had done it. Really ended her marriage to the man she'd thought she could spend the rest of her life with.

Worse, a man she still loved desperately—with such an all-consuming passion, though she was trying to fight it. It was something she knew she'd never recover from, emotionally.

But tears weren't an option. She needed to stay calm and alert. On no account could she afford to surrender to the misery and fear that churned in her stomach, which kept her awake long into the bleak and empty night. She had made the right choice, she kept telling herself. Because had she stayed with him she wouldn't have been able to function properly as the mother she ought to be for her children.

Neji noted that her face was taut with anger as she said it. In her eyes blazed resentment so intense, so murderous that it was as if she'd stabbed him in the heart. "You divorce wives, not children," he stated flatly.

The hand that held Taro trembled. His mouth quivered at the turned-down corner. Oh, yes. She knew all about self-control. Knew the tell-tale signs that betrayed what lay beneath. The short, shallow breathing. The rigidity of the body.

He was struggling with something. But for the love of her she couldn't figure out what it was. "How did Uchiha get inside the apartment at this hour Sakura?"

Annoyingly the huskily spoken words seeped into her very veins. He'd always split her name into three lyrical syllables; Sah-koo-rah. Hearing her name rolling off his tongue forced her to remember how it sounded when—

Oh shit.

She glanced across to Sasuke, who seemed as perplexed as she was, and then back to Neji. She stared at him in some sort of dazed belief. He must be thinking that Sasuke spent the night over.

Telling the truth would only serve to further anger him. Since Tenten had been away Sakura left her front door unlocked so Sasuke could come and have breakfast with her in the mornings. She didn't see what the big deal was, they lived in a secure building and the brunette didn't trust Sasuke in their kitchen for shit.

It was never intimate, half the time they ate in complete silence but Sakura and Jiro had been so grateful for the company that they didn't mind. It was when Taro slept over that conversation broke, usually about something horrible that he had done. He was a very popular headliner.

She wasn't exactly comfortable with Sasuke dating one of her best friends, but it brought him happiness so that sufficed. Though if Neji was to get involved, happy or not, she would not tolerate it. She put it down to the fact that they shared two children and maternal instincts alone told her that the presence of another female in Taro and Jiro's lives would threaten her significance.

"It's not what you think," she whispered, perilously close to tears and yet knowing that she couldn't give in to them. Neji's feelings of ill towards his mother had transcended into his feelings towards woman. Sakura wasn't surprised that she was no exception, but it was a little embarrassing for him to make such an assumption—as subtle as he went about doing so—like that in Sasuke's presence.

"I'm beginning to think you live here," Neji threw at Sasuke as he brushed aside the long, loose strands of Sakura's hair that were tickling Jiro's face. On impulse a finger brushed across her cheeks to distort a streak of wetness. It felt right to do so, which was odd, considering he had spent an entire month and a half building up a strong case for talking to her without the interference of emotions about where exactly they'd both gone wrong. "Am I the reason you've been crying again?"

She pushed him, but she was trembling so hard and he was an immovable force. He caught her fluttering free hand in his and repeated his softly spoken question, demanding an answer, and when she gave an imperceptible nod he was momentarily overwhelmed by a surge of pure, primitive triumph.

Sakura couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, but she could sense his satisfaction at her miserable, grudging surrender and she pulled back angrily. She was no longer aware of Sasuke's presence. It was as if a genie in a lamp had magically made him disappear. Neji could do that to her, make her forget everything, and he was doing it now.

For what? To prove that he could? He didn't love her and he didn't want her, but maybe he just didn't care for the thought of her wanting someone else.

She glared up at his arrogantly smug face and stamped down on her body's weak, automatic response to his proximity. She was shaking as she wrenched herself away from him.

Hyuuga Neji unleashed a temper she hadn't known she had. He filled her to overflowing with violent, resentful and distressingly confused emotions. She hated him, she told herself fiercely. He was tearing her apart. She hated him even more when she felt herself react to the humiliating pull of his magnetic sexual attraction.

Worse, he understood her so much better than she understood him. She had revealed too many private thoughts and feelings she realized, while he had been coolly evaluating her, like a scientist studying something curious under a microscope.

A look of positive loathing written in her furious eyes, she snapped, "I'd like it if you stopped coming over here," Sakura was very tense as she struggled to verbalize her own deepest feelings. "The essence of moving out was to not have to see you anymore."

"What?" he asked, sounding slightly startled.

"I'll keep the boys during the week and drop them by you for the weekends. That way we won't have to see each other as often," she suggested coolly.

"That was not what we agreed on. Taro stays with me."

She waved him off dismissively, "Well I don't like your influence on him or the fact that he has to be travelling between homes on a daily basis."

Neji was bewildered, "Where's all of this coming from?"

A tiny pulse flickered at the whitened edge of her fiercely compressed mouth. Her free hand had closed into a fist, betraying her struggle for self-command. But, most frightening of all for Neji, for the very first time Sakura stared back at him with very real hatred. Cold, hard, deadly loathing. And, in shock, his mind was turning a blank, all the fight and anger draining from him, leaving only fear in their place.

He could only stare back at her, meeting the steady pair of emerald eyes over the top of Jiro's silken head. A cold fear began to clamp its icy fingers around him.

Fear.

Real and present. For Neji a strange and unwelcome sensation and yet one which he was discovering was shockingly recognizable from a past he had buried for much too long.

He was silent for a while, then he flung back his darkly handsome head, his lilac eyed formidable in their penetration. "Get out Uchiha. I'd like to have a word with my wife."

Was that the second or third time that he had referred to her as his wife in as many minutes? Sakura though abstractedly. After months of treating their marriage like a pathetic charade—one had been taken in a reckless haste, entered into without proper consideration or adequate discussion—it seemed so odd that Neji was referring to her in such terms.

"I think you've said enough," Sasuke declared with sudden brooding darkness. He sent Neji a smouldering look of derision. "It's Sakura's weekend to keep the boys and the weekend hasn't ended as yet. So perhaps it is you who ought to leave."

"Excuse me?" Neji challenged, placing a protesting Taro carefully on the floor. He crawled off towards a large toy ambulance and ended up fighting over it with Jiro who later joined him.

Scowling, he pinched the boy's lips and screamed something angrily.

The younger Hyuuga cried out.

Sakura was down on her knees in an instant, trying to break up them apart. Neither she nor Jiro came out unscathed however. Taro had managed to test out his new set of baby teeth on her and nip his brother's already bruised lips until it bled.

When Sakura plucked Jiro away and got to her feet she was fuming, "Why are you such a nightmare?" she hissed at Taro.

He hiccupped then it escalated into a sob and an eventual wail. Pain was slashing into every line of his cute little face. "Sa luh Ji."

Neji's heart thudded painfully in his chest because at that moment he realized that his son wasn't merely acknowledging that Sakura loved his brother but rather that she didn't love him. It as eye-opening as it was heartbreaking.

The atmosphere felt electric with tension and he couldn't speak for misery, emotion filling his throat with a hard, hurting pain. He shivered, chilled to the marrow and hurt beyond belief. Taro's behaviour was finally beginning to make sense. He felt like Sakura didn't love him.

It was no wonder why he fancied the story of the Ugly Duckling. Each time Neji read it to him, Taro would point at the ducks subsequently telling him which ones were 'Ji' 'Sa' and 'Da'. But Neji realized that whenever he asked Taro to identify himself he always pointed at the ugly duckling.

Always.

Now Neji knew why.

And he felt like he was being torn in two. Anguish distorted his features. Emotion flooded unchecked within him, his customary tight self-control eroded by the distressing realization. For a terrifying moment he felt an overwhelming need to throw back his head and let rip a primal yell of anger and frustration.

Making their child feel less than he was simply because he refused to leave his father's side was unforgivable. She always complained about Taro being spoilt but it had always a subconscious effort on Neji's part to pay more attention to him—attention that Sakura clearly didn't have to spare.

Taro sobbed.

"If I were you I'd shut up," she told him, trying to hold Jiro steady for Sasuke to wipe at his lips with an alcohol swab.

The Uchiha didn't strike him as the type of guy who liked children, but watching him with Jiro was like a spear through the chest. He was so skilful in his gentle ministration and Jiro seemed awfully fond of him, grinning in appreciation and—Neji cringed—admiration.

Sakura kissed the boy's forehead and gave him a pack of gummy bears for his troubles. Jiro squealed, swinging his legs where they hung off the counter that Sasuke stood by, a secure hand holding him in place.

"He gets none," Sakura pointed at a pouting Taro, thoroughly tempted to revoke the order.

"Peas," Jiro was begging for him.

"No," she remained resolute.

"That's a little harsh don't you think?" Sasuke asked her. "You're practically teaching them to be mean to each other."

Sakura's response faded in the background as Neji studied the pair before him, grudgingly thinking that they represented quite a beautiful—poetic contrast. The pink and blue hair really got to him—in some essence those colours were equivalent to two halves of a heart. But it was their eyes that disconcerted him most. One had eyes like lush, green vegetation colouring the hillsides during spring and summer and the other had eyes like charcoal that foretold the death that came with autumn and the cold numbness of winter.

Ying and Yang.

He supposed that Sakura's orbs could be compared to the forest before it's consumed by an inferno and Sasuke's to that after the flames. But as figurative as the fire was, Neji couldn't shake the feeling that it was significant somehow and epitomizes some sort of lost of innocence.

He frowned, hating that thought.

Stung to the core by the very idea of Sakura being custom-made for someone else, his heart began to fill with enough acid venom to curdle his system. It licked a sandpaper-rough stroke along Neji's backbone, stiffening it, leaving it tight and tingling. But if Sasuke's large frame was the jagged edge of a puzzle then he was certain the contours of Sakura's petite form fitted perfectly with his. From Neji's line of vision their bodies could be an enzyme and its substrate. Even the slight dip at the cradle of his neck looked as if were designed to house her resting head.

The Uchiha's moving elbow brushed against Sakura's arm and Neji didn't miss the way her cheek coloured or the split second that they held each other's gaze. She smirked, the sensual curve of her mouth looking as though it was perfectly modeled to fit beneath Sasuke's. Jealousy was slicing sharply through his body. It was so strong that it literally fizzed beneath the surface of his skin. It unnerved him.

He operated very much on cold, clever logic—he had no time even less understanding of anything uncontrolled or foolish. But he could not compute the sheer irrational absurdity of such a feeling when he had remained indifferent to things like these in the past.

That awful, blinding, bitter jealousy was now licking its way around his whole body and he couldn't move a single muscle. Didn't dare even ponder too much on what he was witnessing, because if he did, he would be spitting out filthy accusations about her still being married to him and seeing someone else.

It was awful. He closed his eyes momentarily, gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into two tight fists at his sides as an old clamoring reaction trapped him within a world of mindless dismay.

"Sakura, we need to talk," he said hesitantly, because her face was dark with a look on it he had never seen before and he felt his heart begin to race, for was this not what he had most dreaded and expected? That Sakura and Sasuke had rekindled their relationship and she was moving on. "Is there something that you'd like to tell me?"

The racing of his heart continued so fast that it felt like something close to pain.

"I'm getting a job," she told him, keeping her voice low, controlled and steady.

He was not expecting that but it didn't bring much relief.

Anger lent a feverish hint of colour to his exotic high cheekbones. "What do you mean you're getting a job? Your job is to be a full-time mother to Taro and Jiro," he breathed, flicking his gaze over her noticing for the first time the black dress she wore. Neji had always lived with the arrogant belief that he was a sexual cynic but he was momentarily blown away by how well the dress clung to her.

Repulsed by the idea of her having 'dolled' up for Sasuke, he drew his gaze away.

Scorn crossed Sakura's heart-shaped face. "I have a life outside of taking care of our children," she exclaimed, wildly disconcerted at having that stunning declaration flung at her in cool challenge. "I don't see why I should put it on hold while you get live your own."

"I made sure that you have every comfort and convenience when I set you up here. You're not in need of anything."

Sakura blinked, still attempting to absorb the staggering enormity of what he was saying. She knew she would never be able to cope with this kind of dependent, humiliating existence on the fringe of Neji's world. She needed to get on with her own life. "You can't expect me to—"

"Ask yourself if you were being fair to our children when you left," his mouth tightened.

"She has her own goals," Sasuke butted in, black eyes narrowing into glittering shards of jet. He had kept quiet because Sakura had warned him off about engaging the Hyuuga.

"My sons come first," Neji spelt out that reminder with imperious pride and impatience. "She wanted her freedom and I was prepared to set up a lifetime payment and settlement for her so she can go on without fear of financial insecurity. But I will only sign the divorce papers if Taro and Jiro are her only priorities and that—" his mouth grew hard and he looked at her. "—that she does not bring another man into the home of my sons, on either a temporary or permanent basis."

Sakura sucked in a breath. "What?"

"If you do then we shall return to court and I will take my children," he told her with steely assurance.

Temper stirred in Sakura, and the more she thought about that blunt and unashamed declaration the angrier she became.

Did Neji really believe that he had the right to demand that she live like a nun for the next twenty years? Lonely, unloved, celibate. She stared at him. Yes, that was what he believed and what he wanted, if he was not to have sole custody of Taro and Jiro. She should have seen this coming from a mile away.

Sakura straightened her slight shoulders, "And what if I was to demand the same of you—that you do not have any mistress of yours hanging around my kids," she asked with hands knotting into furious fists by her side. "You're a spoilt and selfish brat, Hyuuga Neji."

Astonished by that sudden indictment, Neji strode across the room, closing the distance between them. Sasuke twitched as if to get in his way but he was busy trying to get Jiro not to toss some of his gummy bears to Taro.

The child was a sweetheart.

Neji's eyes blazed, "I am bending over backwards to be fair—"

"Fair?" Sakura echoed with unconcealed scorn. "You can't seriously think you're being fair."

"I do."

She studied him with so much bitterness inside her she marveled she didn't explode like a destructive weapon. "You expect _me _to sacrifice everything! Why? Because you think I have nothing to lose? Or because I'm the mother of your children and you have this weird idea that a decent mother has no entitlement to any life of her own?"

He jerked as if she had struck him, a feverish flush slowly darkening his hard cheekbones. "When you have my children, your life is no longer your own."

Every scrap of colour drained from her face. "I think I know what all of this is about."

A silence fell between them like a giant black hole, waiting to entrap the unwary.

"You're jealous because I've been spending time with Sasuke," she lowered her voice and threw tartly, watching in wide-eyed fascination as two streaks of revealing colour whipped across his high cheekbones. He was jealous, she realized, as her senses clamoured in hectic triumph at the discovery. "I find that fact irrational and disturbing, especially considering how you shrunk from even being in the same room as me."

He stared at her. How emotionless she sounded! Could this really be the same woman who had confessed her undying love for him? Who had carried his children beneath her heart? Suddenly, he no longer wanted to make it easy for her.

But suddenly he saw that now he risked losing everything in his futile attempt to protect himself from pain. He saw that life was painful. That pain was simply the reverse side of pleasure, and you could not have or appreciate one without the other. Which meant he had to risk that kind of hurt happening.

His heart kicked, speeding up his pulse rate, shooting much-needed oxygen to his overworked brain. He had to establish some kind of positive rapport with Sakura. "Do you think I want to have to blackmail you back into my life," he grounded out. "I want you to come off your own free will."

There was a long pause while she stared at him. "But why should you want that?" she persisted, aware that the ravaged hurt on his face must now be reflected on her own.

"Because I wasn't lying about what I said," he said simply, a note of surprise deepening his voice as his pale eyes burned into her. "I'd never lie to you about something of that magnitude Sakura."

The whole parallel‐universe thing was happening again. She wanted to move out of his reach, but her feet stubbornly refused to oblige. Her heart was beating so fast that she felt faint. Or maybe it was just the way he was staring at her, his fabulous eyes reaching down into the depths of her and stirring everything around. It was so unfair that this was what love was all about: allowing someone in who had the power to scramble your brains.

She was shattered by the sudden ripping down of the careful barriers that had made it possible for them to skim along the surface of their complex relationship over the months. Without those barriers, and shorn by Neji of all face-saving defences, she was flailing wildly.

But, disconcertingly, his admission had the same effect as throwing kerosene in a bonfire. He was doing it again, using her emotions against her to get what he wanted. That was, Sasuke out of the picture.

Sakura threw him a blistering glance of derision. She shuddered with a rage that was out of control, a rage that had its roots in pain and violent resentment.

"I will not be patronized," she swore with hard emphasis. "If you at all value my happiness, you'll sign those damn papers."

He tensed, every single muscle in his body went tight as a coiled spring. His eyes were hooded and his upper lips curled mockingly. "I thought you loved me, Sakura," he taunted with exquisite cruelty and she lowered her eyelids, trying to mask the shaft of pain at his words.

When she was sure she had her emotions under control, she once again lifted her eyes to his snowy gaze. "You're despicable and I hate you," she muttered, and would have told him that with her last dying breath because it was her only defence.

"You're not tough enough to hate," He dismissed.

Sakura wasn't fooled by his relaxed posture, he was as tense as a coiled snake. "Too many things have happened between us," she whispered rawly and his hand contracted around hers. "I can't be that girl anymore."

"What girl? The girl that placed a flawed man on a pedestal he had no business being on?" He smiled bitter sweetly.

"You've hurt me beyond the point of recovery," she confessed.

He flinched slightly beneath the accusatory glare, "I know."

"I can't forgive you or love you again. I can't risk opening my heart to a man who had crushed what remained of it in the palms of his hands," she whispered, tears drenching her pale cheeks and he nodded slightly. "I just can't."

She might have been a total stranger. Neji began to withdraw into his shell, wrapping himself in his long-established defences so he would not be hurt again. "I'm sorry," he finally said, before lapsing into silence.

He stood there, just breathing. Barely breathing. "I'll go, I'll sign the papers and I won't trouble you again," It was a voiceless, silent agreement shaped by an unyielding mouth beneath tragic eyes.

"Da!"

He could hear Jiro talking and laughing with Sasuke. It almost blinded him with tears, his throat closed with a huge lump of emotion; he tortured himself by gazing at him, loving him through the pain, marveling at the perfection of the infinitely loved little face. A face that was now plastering a kiss on Uchiha's cheeks.

Everything he had feared had come tragically true. Sakura was really done with him. He jammed his teeth together to prevent himself from begging for forgiveness. He must not think. Only act. And close his heart before it broke entirely.

Blindly, he stumbled into the table in his pursuit of Taro, reeling as if he were drunk. "Say bye to Jiro," he told his son.

"Ji!" Taro waved.

"No!" Jiro stormed. "Peas!"

Help me to get through this! Neji implored the fates.

No more loving. Not ever, he thought savagely. One backward glance at Sakura, standing beside Sasuke, Jiro in his arms throwing a tantrum.

"We'll be in touch," he roared in despair, destroyed by the sight. And he and Taro hurtled out the door—on the edge of sanity—like a man possessed, everything he loved torn brutally from his grasp.

He scrubbed at his pathetic red eyes with the back of his hand.

That was it.

And that was over.

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><p><strong>AN: I honestly HATED the last couple of chapters, rereading them gave me emotional cancer xD And this one just about killed me with its lack of ANYTHING! I swear it was actually good in my head, it was nothing like this clusterfuck of garbage xD**

**The only way I see Sasuke and Neji being civil towards each other is if they actually limited dialogue. BUT they will most likely butt heads in the future, it's inevitable. Sakura was just an epic failure of a mother to Taro here *grimaces* I'd probably end up writing another 1000 words complaining about everything that went wrong with this chapter but I'll leave you to do that in a review, if you wanna... **** Please don't be too harsh, I just had my birthday :P**

**Thank you for reading. I always appreciate it. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Guilty Passion**

**Chapter Twenty-five**

**A/N: This update is brought to you courtesy of two readers who have relentlessly been at my throat for MONTHS! And even though had quit this story and was severely discouraged (which made me a pessimistic shit and an overall pain-in-the-ass), they never gave up until they squeezed two new chapters out of me.**

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><p><em><strong>Three months later…<strong>_

The moon woke Neji up.

The white flare of it shimmered, soaking through his lids, reaching into the nightmare. He tossed restlessly, yawned, sat up and felt his head thump heavily. For a second he felt quite disorientated. There was a burning behind his eyelids. Hot and painful.

"_If you at all value my happiness, you'll sign those damn papers."_

Her voice might have been soft, but her words were edged like a blade. And they sliced him to shreds—each smaller, less significant, more unrecoverable than the last.

"_You're despicable and I hate you."_

He tried to keep his eyes closed, to quench the burning, but it would not be quenched. He could feel the burning liquefy, like molten fire, feel it squeeze past his eyelids, hot on his cheeks.

"_I can't forgive you or love you again. I can't risk opening my heart to a man who had crushed what remained of it in the palms of his hands."_

His mouth was dry. Memory, like a foul, fetid, tide, swept through him as if a dam had been severed.

He almost fell out of bed in horror as his finger brushed the burning molten moisture on his face. Emotion was spiking in his chest. He didn't know what it was, and he wasn't in any kind of mood to be introspective. Neji only knew that after so much time had passed, it was pathetic to still wake up feeling this way. He thought of another word for it but clamped his mouth shut on that and walked out onto the balcony.

It overlooked the cobalt-blue waters of the ocean just yards away. There was nothing but the distant honking of a ship to disturb the peace of timelessness. For quite some time he stood there, arms resting on the wooden balcony, just looking out and feeling numb. Everything seemed very far away. Very distant.

"_The essence of moving out was to not have to see you anymore."_

"_I'd like it if you stopped coming over here."_

He steeled himself. Slowly, painfully, he had to go on with his life. But all the way to his bathroom he kept remembering and flinching—cold snaked down his spine. He turned the shower on and got under it, masochistically letting it run ice-cold and gritted his teeth at the sting of the needles of water.

When he got out, he dried himself with angry punishing fingers and dressed in a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt, then opened his bathroom door to listen—the nursery radio was quiet.

There were no delightful titters, no angry screams or unintelligible chatter filtering through its speakers. It was a little unusual, normally one of the boys would be up, bouncing about in his cot, trying to wake up the other. Though the house tended to be noisier and messier, he rather enjoyed having them both around. There was nothing he looked forward to more.

When he entered the nursery, he instinctively bent over Jiro's crib first. The young Hyuuga hadn't been feeling too well lately but he looked utterly content, the long black lashes setting thickly on his baby cheeks, the rosebud mouth pursed in sleep. Tentatively Neji reached out an alarmingly shaky hand and touched the chubby little arm clad in the sailor pyjamas. Jiro sighed and then smiled his peachy smile.

Speech was beyond Neji. His own face lit up with a soft radiance because he imagined that Jiro really did know he was close by.

His face contorted. Words broke from his aching throat, "I hate that you have to leave in the morning—" He reached down and lightly touched the small closed fist. It opened and gripped his finger hard. "—this is your home and I took it from you."

He leaned over and kissed the rosy cheek and knew that he had overstepped in threatening to have Sakura's shared custody revoked. Perhaps things would've—could've gone differently. Maybe she would have considered his attempt at reconciliation—would've have listened to what he went there with the intention of saying.

But then like a punch in his guts, the harsh reality came. The sick, terrifying reality that it wouldn't have changed a thing. The situation was beyond damage control.

Gently he replaced the covers and Jiro snuggled into them, his dark head almost disappearing. From a few feet away it would be hard to know he was there. With loving motions he smoothed the bedspread and hungrily watched him sleep. He was filled with happiness, with choking emotion, with uncontainable love. But even fiercer was the sadness, the stifling despair and self-loathing.

Neji savagely clamped it down and went to check on Taro, selfishly wishing that the toddler was awake so he'd have something to occupy his mind. Taro's cradle was empty however and so was the ground, safe for Jiro's scrapbook, a few crayons and stray toys. The nursery had been given a thorough tidying up after himself, Taro and Jiro had made a mess painting imprints of their palms on one of the walls.

It was an absolute work of art. Tiny, colourful hand prints were scattered amongst the white region painted into the wall for the said purpose. Amongst them was larger, masculine pair of hands positioned at the top of it all—beside it, an empty patch of white where it's more feminine counterpart should be.

Neji's gaze went back to the vacant crib with its rumpled blanket. He took a steadying breath, swallowing air to calm the mild panic that clawed in him, its talons like slashing razors. There was no way Taro could have climbed out of his crib and if by any chance he happened to, it was far too shadowy for him to want to venture too far. After all, the little rascal was afraid of the dark.

He figured the nanny must've taken him for a walk around the house to prevent him fron waking his brother. So he wasn't expecting to be greeted by Taro's high-pitched voice when he entered the kitchen a few minutes later.

"Moo-nin daddy!" he chirped.

Neji found himself blinking like a startled rabbit before he forced a light smile to his lips. A quick glance at the clock showed 5:45 a.m. It was far too early for Taro to be having breakfast. But it came as no surprise that the scent of freshly squeezed orange juice, recently brewed coffee and cheese hovered palpably in the air. The kid liked to make a nuisance of himself in the mornings, especially if he woke up hungry.

That he was left unsupervised in the roasting Kitchen was a little disconcerting.

Despite the fact that the sun had yet to peek above the horizon, it was rather warm. Summer was approaching and hence the days and nights were sweltering. The air-conditioning was usually on full blast to offset the heat, but due to Jiro's asthma, it had to be kept off. Most of their days were spent lazing around in floats by the pool or lounging on the porch.

The sand on the beach was usually near scorching temperature by midday so there was simply not much more that they could do.

"Moo-nin," Taro repeated as if he thought he hadn't been heard.

The overhead fan head hummed in tune with the sound of the salt-laden breeze as it rattled the window frames.

It was so hot inside Neji was compelled to crack two of them open. Outside the skies were transforming from its dark inkiness into streaks of gold and orange. The curtains swayed slightly in the gentle wind that came through and played on his face.

"Bees!" Taro squealed appreciatively and beamed.

"Breeze," Neji corrected and shook his head at the sight that he stumbled upon when he finally turned towards the source of all the delightful little sounds.

Taro's hands and face were coated in cheese and a tiny piece of macaroni was stuck to his left brow. The area beneath his highchair was equally as messy as he was. Judging from the colourful bits of cereal that were soggily lying in the spilled milk on the floor, the brat had refused what was initially prepared for him. He had a tendency to do that. A lot.

Ever since Neji took the twins to lunch with their grandmother at a local diner, it had been like this. He knew it had been a mistake to allow the waitress to open a menu out before them. They had been so fascinated by the pretty pictures that they immediately started pointing at what they wanted. Not only had they torn the menu to shreds afterwards but now, apparently, they seemed to think their nannies were at their beck and call to serve them whatever they wanted.

Neji supposed he was partly to blame because he'd ordered everything they'd demanded to keep them from creating a scene.

"Good morning," he stooped before Taro's highchair and ruffled his hair. "Why do I bother teaching you how to use a fork?" he asked, flicking his gaze over the child's yellow fingers and soiled Pyjamas.

He shrugged and launched into a bubbly jabber while his small hands continued to stuff his face with food. He missed his mouth on a number of tries because he was caught up watching his father help himself to coffee.

"No toffee!" he scowled. His eyes fell so accusingly on Neji that the Hyuuga felt exposed to some suddenly scornful disapproval within them.

He arched a fascinated brow, croaking with astonishment, "Is that so?"

Taro nodded impatiently. "Toffee bad."

Neji chuckled. "I drink it every morning and you've never had a problem with it."

His lashes lowered and he brought his lips between his teeth. It was such a Sakura-like gesture that Neji had to turn his face away. His whole body went cold, he looked dully out the window at the fading stars which still seemed to reflect in the dark waters of the glinting sea. The beautiful and mysterious Konohian Sea did not in any way reflect Sakura's regard for him anymore. She made it too obvious that she disliked him intensely, and there was nothing beautiful about hate.

But he hated himself now, with a drear, bleak loathing that dragged at him like weights around his body.

How was it that when she became everything to him, she didn't appear to feel even one scrap of affection for him? Pain ripped at him, and its bitterly familiar twin—shame. Shame that he had been so unforgivably horrible to the mother of his children. So much so that she had written off the possibility of giving him a second chance.

"Toffee ick," Taro sobbed and was perhaps a little overdramatic in wiping his eyes when he hadn't shed a tear. His face was a study of dismay as Neji's went white.

"Coffee makes me sick?" he attempted to clarify his interpretation of what was said.

He nodded again but his intelligible speech tailed away and he began to protest furiously in his seemingly native tongue—ie. Baby. His voice was unsteady but determined.

"Not with your mouth full," Neji scolded lightly and the infant blinked blankly at him but continued to fume.

"Ew luh me?" he stuck his hand angrily into his plate and produced a fist full of macaroni.

A great incredulity encompassed Neji. Stunned to a blank, gasping silence, he watched Taro spitefully try to shove his entire hand into his mouth.

Almost defiantly he stared into Neji's face, glaring silver daggers into his head.

"Of course I love you," he felt the words were completely inadequate to describe his feelings. He was amazed however, that while he wasn't fluent in baby, he was competent enough to understand Taro's babbles. "But what has that got to do with coffee?" he asked reasonably.

"Toffee ick!" he slapped his tiny palm down on the chair, his thin mouth firmed in adorable exasperation.

Neji held his gaze, full of confusion. "I won't get sick," he assured him softly.

"No toffee!" Taro maintained in a cute little tone of finality.

Frozen with a terrible unease, he stared anxiously, "Who told you that?"

His small mouth twisted wryly, as if he enjoyed a private, though not very amusing joke. "Nah-be!"

"Who's that?" His eyes widened with apprehension as he stared at him. Taro actually looked shaken, like he was groping his way through a maze of conflicting understandings of what coffee was. But he clearly believed Neji would get sick and leave him if he drank it.

"Nah-be!" his voice rose and echoed off the polished counters.

"Hn?"

Taro mumbled a bunch of gibberish and furrowed his brows in annoyance at himself when he realized Neji hadn't understood him. "Daddy, Ji?" he enquired, indicating to the empty highchair beside his. "Ji...?"

"He's still sleeping," Neji told him, filling his mug with the rich blackness of espresso.

These days he ran solely on caffeine, he couldn't sleep—hadn't had a good night rest since Sakura broke off all communication with him.

The depression still hit him like huge waves. And he let them break over him, knowing there was nothing he could do—nothing. The future he had thought to have was gone. It could never return. The pain in Sakura's eyes had crucified him—pain he had inflicted. He had hurt her over and over again with that particular lie—and such a monstrous one. That lie mocked him with whips—as did her response when he finally hinted the truth—that he had in fact loved her too.

But it didn't matter now did it? He had fought it—fought her.

She was the woman he should have striven with every fibre of his being to be a good husband to. She had loved him, stood by him even when things concerning their future had looked bleak. And now—it was over. The life they should have had together was over before it began.

And worst—worst of all—the chill, excoriating fear within him.

That it had all been punishment.

For the unfeeling bastard that he had been, he hadn't deserved another child or Sakura and so they were both taken from him. Despair racked him. And anger and shame, and a regret for what could never now be.

The weight of it bowed and crushed him down.

And yet he knew he had to accept what had happened. There was no alternative. His daughter was gone. Sakura was gone. The former would cause him grief for ever; he knew, but the latter—oh, the latter. It killed him.

Dread pooled into his stomach in recollection and he took a heavy swallow of the hot liquid as if to stave off the feeling. The only thing it ended up doing was to scald his throat. He spluttered and went into a series of cough.

Taro's laughter was crucifying, "Wopid."

With a decisive snort Neji emptied his cup into the sink, "Did you call me stupid?"

"No!" he covered his face and peeked through the cracks he made between his fingers. He gave a squeal of alarm when Neji gently peeled his hands away to tenderly pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sa wee!" he giggled hysterically.

"Sa wee doesn't cut it," he jeered and pretended to sulk. "You've hurt my feelings,"

When he faked a wail, Taro's moon-like eyes widened in panic and he flung his arms around Neji's neck in his trademark stranglehold. "Hai luh ew."

Neji laughed the way someone did when life was perfect and there were no worries on the horizon. Inside, his stomach rolled with grief but he doggedly concentrated on concealing his turbulent feelings. His nerves were ragged from losing the only woman he had ever cared deeply about. What was done was already done, a voice told him. She said she didn't want to see him and well—sometimes the hardest and the right things were the same—so he had honoured her wishes.

His gut twisted into a knot. He'd never felt so damn helpless in his life. He wished to hell it was as simple as apologizing but knew it would be pointless, he had done that repeatedly and it hadn't gotten him anywhere. It was slow agony but he deserved everything she'd dished out and so much more. He could honestly say that he wouldn't forgive himself either had the situation been reversed.

Taro buried his face in Neji's shoulder. He could feel his little throat working convulsively as he tried to keep his sobs silent. But they spilled out, harsh and brittle in the quiet.

"Sa wee."

Neji pulled back and stared at him for a moment as something gripped his heart so tightly it hurt. It was his own inner turmoil that caused his voice to be hoarse as he said, "Why are you apologizing Hizashi? You didn't do anything wrong." He sometimes liked to call them by their other names so they would be able to identify with them.

Taro pouted angrily at Neji's deceit. "Nut ice."

He laughed, still marveling at how well he comprehended the brat. "I'm not nice?"

He shook his head in response and returned his attention to his meal, seemingly trying to give his father the silent treatment. Taro was all too familiar with it, having been given it on a number of ocassions.

Now that the twins were holding on to furniture, getting to their feet and moving about, their list of offences had sky rocketed. Since figuring how to manoeuver a broom, they've been dragging one around with them on their path of destruction. Its sole purpose was to knock objects off shelves, counters, and other unreachable surfaces. Nothing survived in their wake and whatever did, was hidden away in their toy chests or stuffed elsewhere.

Reprimanding them made little difference because Taro found it rather amusing to be scolded and was even more encouraged to carry out his evil deeds. He preferred to continue being bad until it left Neji no other choice than to vocalize his displeasure, so silent treatment usually backfired. To stay on his brother's good-side, Jiro would simply follow suit. It was a little more effective on him however. He was such a chatterbox that whenever Neji became too unresponsive it got him frustrated.

"Toe-can!"

Speak of the devil.

Neji swung around and froze—shock naked on his face. His eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. The person holding Jiro was definitely not the nanny. He cocked an eyebrow, pointedly waiting for an explanation.

"Ji!" Taro bounced about in the confinement of his high-chair. "Moo-nin."

"Nii-can!" Jiro greeted but his voice was quieter and his smile faded, his eyes fixed on Neji's downcast face. "Toe-can?"

"Good morning Kizashi," he knelt there, the breath frozen in his lungs and felt his hand close over the back of Taro's chair. Felt, as if from a long, long, distance away, his muscles tense as he levered himself to his feet.

Panic, horror and a whole storm of emotions he couldn't even identify poured through him like a deluge.

Neji's leg felt weak, his heart was hammering. A voice seemed to be inside his head, shouting tragedy! As if it was a kind of automated warning. For one long moment he could only stare, remorse and guilt glistening in his eyes.

Then he spoke. Many questions drummed in his head like a pain in his skull but one troubled him most. "Did something happen to Hiashi-sama?" he asked slowly, his own enquiry was like a nail in his flesh.

There was an incredulous, disbelieving laugh, with not the slightest trace of humor in it. "I'm surprised that's the first thing that came to mind when you saw me."

"I can't imagine this is a casual visit—" Neji said slowly. His eyes narrowed slightly. "—it's still dark outside, how did you get out of the house at this hour?"

"Nah-be!" Taro called and pointed to his plate to signal that he would like it refilled.

Neji's eyebrows pulled together, making him look forbidding somehow. "Why does he know you by name?" There was a bite in his voice she'd have been deaf not to hear.

Hanabi placed Jiro in his highchair and turned to Neji, "I've secretly been sneaking over here to visit them after school when you're at work," she admitted with a coy smile. "And I've been here all night."

The forbidding look suddenly became even more intense. "What?"

She shrugged her shoulders but something shifted in the depths of those eyes. Shifted, and hardened. Like her voice. "I know you're angry with father, but Hinata and I haven't done anything wrong for you to keep Taro and Jiro from—"

"He was horrible to Sakura," Neji expelled harshly, cutting her off.

"So were you nii-san, that's why she isn't here."

He felt his colour flare at the none too subtle rebuke and the defense mechanism he had employed for years sprang immediately into place. "Jiro shouldn't have any cheese," he advised her tersely when she made to place a small plate of macaroni and cheese before the baby.

Jiro's smile turned down, "Peas toe-can?" he asked hopefully.

Neji's mouth trembled and his heart sank. He didn't like denying his sons anything. It was partly why they were so damn spoilt. "I thought we agreed you'd eat healthier?" he reminded the tot.

He folded his tiny arms and scoffed—apparently he couldn't recall ever coming to such an agreement.

"Me! Me!" Taro squeaked as Hanabi retracted the plate from Jiro's chair.

Sighing, she gave it to him and brought his empty bowl to the sink. "I honestly don't know where you put all this food." There was an amused quality to her voice. "Look at you!" she exclaimed with a loud laugh. "You've got cheese in your hair."

He scowled darkly and reached up to brush at his head. The only thing he accomplished by doing so was to cover an even larger portion of his hair in curdled milk.

She threw her head back and chortled. "You're so silly and cute. I just want to hug the life out of you."

Taro's face was suddenly white with horror. "Top it! Top it!" he looked at her levelly. Then he turned to Neji in complaint, his pearly eyes glittered. "Nah-be nut ice."

Hysterical laughter bubbled in Hanabi's throat. "What flavour ice-cream is Nut Ice?"

He pouted and rubbed furiously at his eyes. He didn't like being laughed at. "Ew nut ice."

She continued to giggle. "Or is it a topping?"

Mortified, Taro stared at her, looking completely shaken, his cheeks now hotter.

The look of fury on his brother's face inflamed Jiro's temper. "Peas top—" he fumed as Taro's sobbing and spasms went on and on. "—nii-can add. Peas top"

"What's he saying?" she asked, rummaging through the refrigerator before producing a tray of eggs, bacon strips, pancake syrup and milk, still laughing. "And what is nut ice?"

"He's telling you to stop because Taro is sad." Neji said dryly and watched Hanabi, who had never lift a finger since the day she was born, move about his kitchen like she had been raised in one. "And it means you're not nice."

She snorted and fell thoughtfully quiet while she went about frying bacon and eggs and making pancakes.

Neji was so confused by her presence that he scarcely noticed Taro stretching a handful of macaroni across to Jiro. "What do you mean by you've been here all night?" he persisted, with punishing politeness.

"Your housekeeper let me in," she answered, fetching various eating cutleries and utensils. "Like I said, I've been coming here every day after school. All your staff knows I'm your sister," Hanabi pointed out smoothly, as if sensing Neji's hidden panic. He was always a little paranoid when it came to his home security, especially now that he had Taro and Jiro. "I always call to make sure you're not here when I stop by though..." her voice trailed off.

He thought back to the number of phone calls he'd received where the line went dead every time he answered. Neji was relieved that it hadn't been some random prankster but he felt winded with disappointment that it hadn't been who he'd always suspected. How could it have been Sakura if she didn't even call to check up on the twins? He mused unpleasantly.

Either she trusted him enough with them to not pester him every minute about how they were doing or she was simply avoiding having to hear his voice. A part of him wanted to believe it was the former but the facts had been so cruelly laid out on the table that it was impossible to imagine anything but the latter.

"So it wasn't Sakura all along?" Neji thought aloud, and unfortunately he couldn't keep the infuriating wobble from his voice.

"I'm sorry to disappoint," Hanabi drawled mockingly. "Did I?" she pressed with lazy amusement.

"Of course not, I've been meaning to get in touch with you," Neji tried to speak calmly, as though his heart weren't pounding in his throat so hard he felt it would choke him, but his white face and over-bright eyes spoke their own story to Hanabi who was watching him closely.

It was enough that he should be horrified by his own hysterical emotions without having her withering opinion too.

"Sure you were," she began to cut a pancake—which was obviously for Jiro—in small bite sizes.

Her sarcasm lashed him so harshly that he broke the unbearable tension by turning towards the twins. He looked just in time to see Taro hiding his hand behind his back but the evidence was all over Jiro's mouth and clothes. There were even bits of macaroni on his tray.

It was a rare sight—Taro sharing his food. Neji suspected that he was simply rewarding his brother for defending him. However, he was also compelled to believe that Taro fed Jiro cheese to cause trouble. The little imp's heroics were never carried out in a vacuum; there was always an ulterior motive.

He flung them an exasperated glance

Jiro's smile was guilty and cheesy, "Sa wee."

"Cheese will make you sick," Neji pointed a finger at him in light warning.

Taro's eyes widened a fraction as he gaped, "Ji ick?"

"No, but if he does get sick, it'll be your fault," Neji knew he was far too young to have a conscience, but decided to deal the guilt card anyway.

His small face blanched as if his fright and bewilderment grew. "Tall Sackra!"

Neji felt a riot begin in his stomach region at the proposal he heard in Taro's voice, the tone of which altered dramatically when there was no response from his daddy.

"Ji ick!" he echoed and then demanded in a high-pitched rage. "Tall Sackra!"

"Can you translate?" Hanabi asked, placing Jiro's pancake before him.

Neji drew a shocked breath, horrified yet not too surprised at Taro's incredible behaviour. He felt a deep pity, an urgent need to give his son reassurance and comfort, but he knew it was his mother that Taro sought those things from. "He wa-wants me to ca-call Sa-ku-ra be-because Jiro is sick," he stammered, turning from Hanabi's anxious regard.

"What can she do that you can't?" her voice hardened to steel.

He flinched slightly. His feelings in turmoil, he said bleakly, "She took her old job back as a nurse maybe Taro—"

"I heard about that," she cut in casually.

"—thinks she's better equipped to take care of Jiro since she dresses like the ladies that work at their pediatrician's office," he finished off.

The mentioned boy rubbed his tummy, "An-ache!"

"I think he might really be sick," Hanabi's voice was puzzled as she watched Jiro carry on with his antics.

"Don't look so horrified, _an-ache _means_ pancakes_," with a pretence of affection Neji teased her then raised a silencing hand. "Wait for it—"

Jiro clapped excitedly, "Yum yum! An-ache"

"—there it is," Neji chuckled. "I think Taro misses seeing his mother every day," he added grimly but managed a smile for Jiro when he grinned at him.

Hanabi ushered him to the table and placed a glass of orange juice before him, "That was your last mug of coffee nii-san. I've thrown out all the beans."

Too dispirited to argue, he stared at her.

"What kind of arrangement do you have going on with Sakura?" she sat beside him and clutched unto his arm, as if to transfer some of her strength into him.

He glanced at her hand and brought his eyes to rest on her face. Who would've thought the reason they looked so much alike was because they were in fact brother and sister. "Taro lives with me, Jiro stays with her," he answered offhandedly, glaring at the orange juice. "We alternate weekends because that's when the twins get together."

"But Jiro has been here every day since I started sneaking over—" she pointed out wryly. "—and that was two weeks ago."

Clearly he needed to issue some letters of redundancy to his staff. He didn't like that they kept him in the blue about Hanabi's visits. They knew that security was of utmost importance to him. Whether Hanabi was family or not he should have been informed. "Sakura contracted the pink-eye from one of her patients and I can't release him into her care if he's at risk of catching it."

"But two weeks nii-san? Pink-eye goes away in days." She snorted and smirked knowingly. The taunt in her voice was clearly audible. "Were you hoping she'd get so overwhelmed by how long you kept them from her that she'd storm over here?"

Neji gulped on his chilled beverage quickly as his throat went eerily dry and tight. Just as swiftly he grimaced. "Don't you have school?" he demanded quickly, flushing hotly as he stared back into the intuitive pale eyes.

She settled her other hand on his arm and told him with a hint of smug satisfaction that he scarcely noticed, "Its Saturday nii-san."

"Hanabi, what are you doing here? Hiashi-sama would—"

"Flip?" she supplied. "He knows I've been coming here. Who else can he count on to take pictures of his grandsons to show him?" she watched Neji's reaction closely as the word _grandson _left her mouth. "In his current condition, he can't come over here himself," her voice lowered off its own accord. "And Hinata's afraid of pissing you off by showing up uninvited."

His shrug was careless. Hell would freeze over before Hiashi set a root in his house. "So were you, to have done it behind my back," he returned with coolness.

"It wasn't that I was afraid to visit while you were here," she told him with an almost arrogant tilt of her neck. "I know how you are nii-san. You always push away the people you love." She squeezed his arm. "I'm used to serving probationary periods for your feuds with father."

Something shot down his spine, stiffening it on the back of the chair. "Don't make this conversation into something else," he whispered, through stiff lips. "We're discussing your behaviour," he reminded her sternly.

"I think you believe that you're protecting us from being hurt by you in doing so," she continued, even though his eyes were shuttered and his expression was impassive almost as if he hoped to quell any further discussion. "But that's exactly what you end up doing."

"Hn."

"Nii-san?" Hanabi whispered, thinking back to the day of the twins birth and how Neji had defended his now ex-wife. "Just answer me one question," she said faintly. "Did you love Sakura?"

He went pale and pain flickered in his eyes. And shame. Though that hadn't been her intention.

He jerked his hand back, a stunned expression on his face. His feelings were the last thing he needed to be reminded of. "What does it matter?" His eyes were like liquid silver, but all the light vanished from their depths as if someone had extinguished a flame. "She left me, didn't she?"

For a moment he thought she'd let it go, but then she squared her shoulders and said in a low, dead voice, "You can't even admit it to me, can you?"

He'd always thought his marriage to Sakura wouldn't be defined by love or emotion, volatility or vulnerability.

Trust.

Companionship.

Friendship.

Respect.

Those were all things he had been on board with. Love? Not so much. It was a messy, raw emotion he had had no desire to embroil himself with. And now as jagged pain tore through his body he knew why he'd always fought against falling victim to that four letter word.

His lips parted to allow his shortened breath to escape. He hesitated a moment and then sighed in resignation. "If I admit it for the first time it will be to no one else but her," he muttered beneath his breath.

"What happened?" Hanabi asked, her voice full of concern.

"What happened was that I was a complete failure of a husband to her," he said in a tight voice. "I think she made the right decision to leave, I didn't deserve her," he choked out. "I ruined her life Hanabi—" that flash of pain entered his eyes again. "—she had goals. Dreams. And because she fell pregnant with Taro and Jiro she had to put them on hold. I tried to right the situation through marriage but I might've been the worst thing that ever happened to her."

The girl blinked. "How can you say that? You gave up your family for that girl. You did everything you could for her!"

"Except treat her fairly," he looked over at his sons; both were preoccupied bartering their breakfast. They were making even more of a mess. "She was honestly the best mistake I'd ever made. Taro and Jiro are my world yet I made her out to be nothing, " his voice changed again and the contempt in it was naked—contempt for himself.

"Shhh toe-can..." Jiro seemed to be alerting his other half of their father's watchful eye.

Taro looked up at him and grinned cheekily. "Ice Daddy," he kissed his cheesy palm and blew it at Neji.

"Don't _nice daddy_ me," he laughed lightly. "You two have no table etiquette, just look at yourselves."

"Eh-pi-et?" Jiro tried to call the word.

Taro snickered at him and said his own pronunciation, as if to tell his brother that it was the correct way of saying the word.

"No!" Jiro shook his head furiously as they went off in a loud and spluttered debate over it.

Hanabi found that Neji's smile came helplessly just watching them. "These are moments you should be sharing with Sakura, nii-san."

The words mocked him like a whip on bleeding skin. He hated that he sat there, tongue-tied, unable to form a single damn word, his heart in knots.

"You went through hell with father to make her your wife, nii-san. It's all in vain if you just let her go."

He moved his shoulders as if the tension in them had become unbearable. "We may have went through hell with Hiashi but I kept her in its flame. She lost our child because of it."

Hanabi's expressive eyes widened in shock. Her mouth popped open and then snapped shut again. She shook her head wordlessly as if she had no idea what to say.

"To beg for forgiveness would be an insult to her," he stared dully into his cup, his vision cloudy. "We haven't spoken in three months—haven't seen each other in that long either. She went as far as to have a friend drop off and pick up the twins in order to avoid me." He coughed to clear the pitiful lump that swelled up in his throat. "Sakura really hates me Hanabi and I don't blame her. Her life was made worse off having known me."

She was still staring at him like she had no idea what to say.

"Is this why you stayed the night—" he suddenly grated, failing miserably to stifle a sniff. "—to wait for the opportune moment to spring all of this on me?"

"Never," she said in her defence. "I know Jiro leaves early today and I wanted to see him off."

Neji cocked up a disbelieving brow but opted to stay muted. He still couldn't wrap his mind around why Hiashi had Hanabi secretly coming to visit the twins. The man had some nerve, after all that he had done to prevent Jiro from simply being—after he covered up his affair with Neji's mother and screwed his own brother over by fathering the only child Hizashi had.

Then there was the horrible stunt he pulled with Sakura's father.

Hiashi knew no boundaries.

When Neji investigated the matter it turned out that it hadn't been a case of lack of financial clearance, rather Kizashi Haruno had been kicked off the waiting list for a heart.

Fortunately they were able to get the surgery done in time, elsewhere. The doctors had looked hopeless but Neji was able to pull some strings and in the end all it took was a trip across the Fire Country. Kizashi came back a little jetlagged but everything had gone smoothly and recovery had been swift. It was around the same time that Sakura had called their relationship quits and the news of Kizashi's surgery being a success had served as an anchor for Neji.

If he died tomorrow he could say he had done one unselfish thing for her.

From the way her father spoke of her, Neji could tell that whatever had happened between Sakura and her parents had been more to her mother's doing. Mebuki still gave him the chills but after spending so much time with the woman, he decided that she wasn't half bad. He thought she would've been hostile towards him after learning that his and Sakura's relationship ended in the divorce she had prophesied but instead she had been uncannily warm and sympathetic. She gave him an earful after learning about the miscarriage, though eventually she declared that things like that happened all the time and he wasn't to be blamed.

They were easy to talk to but some things were just not meant to be shared with them. Sakura was still, after all, their daughter and learning the truth about their relationship and how it came into existence would alter their—well, Mebuki's—already tainted impression of his character. Him being a Hyuuga hadn't scored too many points with her from the very beginning.

Kizashi wasn't one to pass judgment but even he would condemn Neji to the deepest pit in hell if he knew how much he had hurt his Pinkie—Sakura's nickname. Still it baffled him why neither party reached out to the other but it wasn't in his place to ask. He knew they kicked Sakura out but was that basis enough for her to not want them to know her kids? Heck, Hiashi had done worse and he still felt guilty for not letting them get to know the brute. After finding out about the divorce and miscarriage he at least expected them to check up on her at least once.

Kizashi was back on his feet and able to chase the formidable duo of his grandsons around so there was no health condition stopping him from making a visit. It wasn't as if they hadn't a clue where she now held residence. Mebuki retired two months ago and had enough spare time to host Taro, Jiro and Neji over every weekend when the trio was together, but not enough spare time to at least phone Sakura? It was a little more than disconcerting. It seemed they had all left her to her own devices.

Neji had a reason for staying away—she begged him to. For once he had given her feelings priority over his own and as much as it killed him, he felt it was the right thing to do. He fought her feelings when she had loved him, so it was only fair that he came to terms with her resentment and stopped trying to fight it as well.

"I had no clue!" Hanabi suddenly threw her hands around his neck in a fierce hug. "I can't imagine what you must be going through. First your baby, now Sakura," her grip tightened.

He recoiled and reiterated, "I didn't deserve either."

"I don't like seeing you like this!" she got to her feet and stomped towards the counter were she had prepared a plate for him but forgot about it. "You've lost weight, I'm telling father!" she insisted and shoved the plate before him. "He'll fix this!"

Neji sighed at Hanabi's obvious belief that Hiashi wielded a magic wand and could make any problem disappear. He had to admit that sometimes it would appear that way to him as well, but the old man had rather unorthodox ways of shaping situations to suit his liking. There was no telling how far he's go if he learned that Uchiha Sasuke was one of Neji's problem. Hiashi had had a bone to pick with the Uchiha family after Mikoto called off her engagement to him and married the Fugaku Uchiha instead.

It seemed losing out to an Uchiha was a generational curse.

There was an entire swimming pool of bad blood between both families because of the humiliation suffered from it all. Neji had heard the story a countless number of times but had never truly felt any remorse for Hiashi. Landing another lady—someone else's lady—didn't seem to have been a problem or Neji wouldn't have been in existence today. It was hypocritical to chastise Fugaku for the same thing he did to his own brother...except that Hiashi hadn't had the decency to marry her!

"He should concern himself with his health and not my problems," Neji said.

Her face changed, she paused for a moment, bringing her eyes to his. "He wants to set things right with you before he leaves."

After a critical assessment, Neji mentally declared the food safe—or at least it looked edible—enough to eat and tired a piece of bacon. "Where is he going?" he shrugged warily.

"Father has leukaemia nii-san," Hanabi reminded him gravely. "There's only one place he could be going," she told him grimly; there was no mistaking what she meant.

Neji was largely unmoved, "Everyone gets there one way or the other."

"Well his ticket is booked for next month." Her voice was quiet, but exerted a force of will Neji really didn't feel up to challenging.

He could only stare wide-eyed at her, his heart suddenly raw and heavy. "What?"

OoOoOoOo

The stillness of daybreak was disrupted by the sound of a whistling kettle. There was a loud, feline yawn accompanied by the sound of furniture dragging against tiles as Haruno Sakura settled herself down at the kitchen table.

The aroma of black coffee wafted heavily in the air. It pierced through the foggy veils of grogginess with the smooth, rich scent of roasted beans.

She smiled appreciatively when her cold palms flexed against the warmth that seeped through the ceramic of the mug as it was placed in her hands. A deep sense of contentment washed over her upon her first sip. The coffee was full-bodied, with rich texture, heaviness on the tongue and a lingering bitter finish. Somehow he knew exactly the way she liked it.

"You don't have to do this. The boys are with their father—" she had stopped referring to Neji by name. He was just the twin's father to her, the same as she had always been Taro and Jiro's mother to him. "—so I think I can manage on my own," she smiled, but her companion didn't miss the sorrowful lowering of her long lashes.

He didn't miss anything.

Sasuke shrugged dismissively, "It has become a habit," he explained flatly. "Sometimes when they're not here, I still hear them in my head so I automatically get up and march over here." His forehead creased slightly, as if to fend off a migraine just thinking about it.

Sakura's lips curled in a wry grin, "Admit it, you miss them," she urged playfully, her spirits lifting at the mention of her sons.

She missed them enough to—would actually—give anything just to have Taro claw at or bite her when she didn't let him have his own way. And that was saying something because she didn't welcome any act of cruelty from the brat.

The raven haired man cringed slightly before heaving a sigh of defeat. But it wasn't as if the words that followed his gesture indicated any surrender, "I don't like kids—"

She knitted her brows in silent warning, an indication that Sasuke ought to select his words carefully. As taken as she had been—probably still was—with him, when it came to her sons, she had zero tolerance for snide remarks.

"—but I like yours," he added with ease and without haste, comfortably unfazed by the dark look etched across her face. "And even if I miss them, my eardrums are grateful for the break."

Surely they weren't that loud? Sakura thought to herself with a chortle. She rather liked when they were lively and noisy, their squeals and giggles were an absolute delight. It was the screams that she dreaded. They usually meant Taro had started a fight and that Jiro had sustained some sort of injury.

She studied Sasuke's features with a bemused frown. A helpless laugh bubbled out of her throat because there was something very amusing about the way in which he admitted that he missed her little monsters, as he liked to refer to them.

The twins had been gone for two weeks, it was the longest that she had ever gone without seeing either of them. And since it was approaching their first birthday and she had gotten over her pink-eye, she was growing more anxious as to why they hadn't been returned to her as yet.

She hadn't seen Neji since their divorce had been finalized three months ago. The last she saw of him was that look of disbelief he shot her after they left the lawyer's office. Sakura still couldn't believe she had actually gone through with it. Tenten was the one who pick up and dropped off Taro and Jiro at his house for her. She didn't want to see him, didn't want to know how he was doing.

She wanted it to be as if he had never entered her life's doors. But that wasn't possible, was it? Taro and Jiro were living proof of what had happened to her—what had changed her forever. Hyuuga Neji had happened. And she had foolishly—blindly married him, conceived a second time around and lost his child.

Despite all her strenuous efforts, all her relief and gladness to have parted with him and to have a better future to look forward to, she could still feel the memories and worst of all the dreams—pressed like ghosts against a windowpane—tormenting her, haunting her.

Would she ever be free of them? Surely one day the dreams would stop, the memories would dim, he would disappear and her heart would cease to beat for him? Just as the brief, fragile life within her had ceased.

Yet it seemed almost as if with each passing day—even though she had a new job, her kids and other things to shut out the memories, to divert and occupy her mind and attention—that when the memories broke through they were more powerful, more vivid than before.

Sometimes, just for a glimpse, she could almost imagine seeing him—seeing the tall, familiar figure watching her, those silver, long-lashed eyes washing over her, making her weak and breathless and boneless—brainless, filling her with longing…

And then with bleak, black loathing…

That was what she had to cling to. Not the quickening heart-rate, the catch of her breath, the ache inside her. The bleak, black loathing—that was all she must feel.

But better to feel nothing at all. She didn't want to love him anymore, she didn't want to love anyone; love meant betrayal and pain and disillusionment, and she had had enough of that to last a lifetime.

And yet she couldn't close that chapter of her life.

Her throat constricted, "Jiro must be wondering where I am?" she sighed in despair.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her, "They both must be."

Colour rose to her cheeks at the implication she sensed, "Of course but—"

"You don't care about Taro," he cut in coolly. His narrowed glance was swiftly speculative and taunting.

Her gaze dropped to her feet and in went the lip between her teeth. She didn't say a word. But her silence said it all. He felt a slash of guilt for the thoughtless comment.

"Sakura," he whispered her name in apology.

She set her empty mug aside and glanced at the digital clock on the microwave. "—but Jiro and I have never been apart this long before. Taro's accustomed to not seeing me as often," she finished off softly, then leveled her eyes on Sasuke, "How can you say that?"

He made no reply, just went on resting his eyes on her. She had no option but to go on.

Sakura swallowed, biting back the emotion that cracked in her throat. Her heart slugged heavily, it felt like he was accusing her of something. "He maybe a monster but it's my own fault why he's like that, Sasuke. He's my monster; I have to love him regardless."

He looked unconvinced, "You say it like it's a liability you have to bear." He eyed her sardonically and echoed her words. "Have to love him regardless?"

"You know I don't mean it like that," she told him helplessly. "It's just some times he gets me so angry—reminds me so much of how—"

He interrupted her hot-faced mumbling, his voice brisk and devoid of expression. "He's just a baby who had all that was familiar to him ripped from his grasp. Cut him some slacks."

There was a pain like a knife turning in her heart, and she took a big gulp of the burning hot coffee, shutting her eyes tightly for a moment as though to blank her mind.

She now knew and understood why Sasuke never complained about Taro's behaviour. He too had had his world turned upside down at an early age—just not quite in a similar fashion. His parents died and he took a heavy knock from it. He grew cold and distant. Often times he'd feud with his older brother just because he thought Itachi was handling the tragedy too well. Sakura supposed Sasuke saw a reenactment of his younger self in Taro, especially where fights with Jiro were concerned.

Her heart lurched and thumped again. "I do love Taro, it's probably the brat who can't stand me," she laughed. "He's too young to understand what's going on but I think he blames me for leaving."

Sasuke set his cup aside and looked seriously at her, "Don't you think it's messed up that you've separated your twins?" For a moment, seeing the angry tightening of his mouth, Sakura felt guilt, but he merely shrugged again, contemptuously. "I don't blame the Hyuuga for keeping them this long. They hardly see each other."

Anger freed her tongue impulsively, "Are you condoning his behaviour? You do know that this is just to spite me right?" Her eyes widened with apprehension as she stared at him. This much concern coming from Sasuke was unnatural.

"If you missed them that badly you would have found yourself over there," he argued flatly, his face hard.

She bit the inside of her mouth and stared blankly into her remaining coffee. "I don't want to see or have anything to do with him," she snapped as if she'd found resolve. "What time is Tenten going to pick them up?"

Sasuke's frown deepened, "I will not tolerate this arrangement much longer." His voice was so harshly determined that she shrank. "She's not running a school bus."

Mysteriously disconcerted, Sakura held unto her mug with numb fingers. "Who would've thought you would be so possessive over a woman who, I'm not too sure likes you very much," she teased with scathing sweetness.

"Oh she likes me alright," the statement carried a dignified yet very suggestive coolness. "Who would've thought you've be divorced with two kids before making it to twenty-five?" he retorted. The black eyes were laughing at her, and she could have hit him.

Sakura laughed lightly, but the sound wasn't pleasant. She wasn't aware of the pain that had turned her emerald eyes almost forest green; she just knew that his words had licked at a raw wound.

She saw him suddenly bite his lip. A husky, strangled sound escaped from his throat, and it was a moment or two before he said, with a careful lack of expression that spoke its own story, "I thought you'd still be chasing me around."

He was laughing at her.

She stiffened, her outrage evident in every line of her body, but in the next moment he leant forward to touch her face gently with the palm of his hand in a gesture she was sure was meant to be just comforting, but which she found extremely disturbing. Especially as his nearness forced her to acknowledge the faint, male smell of him, the broadness of his chest and—

"What time is Tenten going to pick up the boys?" she asked again, looking away.

"She left a long time ago. Apparently the Hyuuga had plans and called her to collect them early," he had noticed her physical withdrawal at his closeness; she could see it in the sudden tightening of his mouth and the narrowing of his eyes. "I don't want her hanging around him too much," he muttered with a decisive bite, like he too had found resolve and drew back. "I'm not too sure I like the idea of them exchanging numbers either."

She met his eyes then. His features were expressionless and she couldn't tell what he was thinking but knew he was dead serious. Still she grinned, "I have a feeling that's one of the reasons why Taro isn't so fond of you."

He gave a rasp of irritation and told her pointedly, "That kid only likes his father."

"You're always trying to boss his Coco around," she snorted.

Coco was the nickname that Taro and Jiro had given Tenten. Sakura supposed that it was probably because her eyes and hair reminded them of chocolate. They had an unhealthy obsession with anything in general, that was bad for health in large proportions.

Mac en Tease

Ache

Ummy Ber

Hai squeam

Free Thiken

Oli pop

They were the twin's codes for macaroni and cheese, cake, gummy bear, ice-cream, fried chicken and lollipop respectively. She giggled to herself, hearing their demanding, little voices in her head. She couldn't help but feel saddened by the fact that when they eventually got the words correct, she'd miss their adorable little way of referring to things.

Jiro had even starting saying "mommy" and "kaa-can". And well...Taro called her "Sackra", no surprise there. He was of the belief that he knew everything and would simply correct her whenever she pointed at Jiro and said "nii-san" or to herself and said "kaa-san." They were "Ji" and "Sackra" to him and she didn't think even the almighty himself could convince Taro otherwise.

"Hn," Sasuke rolled his shoulders casually but his glare had intent. "His?"

She nodded, "I think he has a crush on her."

Taro followed Tenten around like a lost puppy. If anyone could get him to behave it was her. She didn't have to be stern, Taro was unusually well-behaved when she was around, much like a loverlorn fool trying to make an impression. Sakura found it cute—Sasuke...not so much.

"Too bad," he derided humourlessly. "He's not her type," his voice was firm but not annoyed.

"Is that so?" Her eyes were deep pools of laughter. "Taro could definitely tap that."

A small silence fell, she wasn't sure why.

"Sakura," he growled.

Her porcelain-like skin chilled at the uncompromising grimness she saw in those dark eyes. "It was a joke Sasuke. Don't get so defensive."

"As much as I love your kids, I hate competing with them," His eyes were black, his skin pale, his beautiful bone structure taut under stress. "Now she's asking me for brats of our own," he pinched the bridge of his nose as if the very idea repulsed him.

Disregarding the last half of his statement, Sakura reacted like a woman who had been shot in the chest. She stopped moving, stopped breathing. "What did you just say?" she prompt hoarsely and lifted gentle fingers to cover those taut cheeks and held those black eyes with her own earnest green ones. "You love them?"

He peeled her hand away and grunted laconically, "Don't read too much into it."

She couldn't wipe the smile from her lips, "I never thought the first time I'd hear those words they'd come from you," she admitted rather bitter-sweetly.

He elevated a brow, "What do you mean?"

She shrugged and kept all emotion out of her voice, "He had never actually said it, or at least I've never heard him say it."

Sasuke didn't move, and her words hung like something unclean in the stark, scream-pitched silence that followed. And as she looked into his face she saw a stranger metamorphose in front of her with eyes that were fire and a mouth that was a straight line in the hardness of his face. She heard him take a deep breath.

"Then let me say something else the Hyuuga's probably not man enough to say either—" she felt paralyzed by the raw emotion in his face and voice, unable to move, to make any response.

She closed her eyes, but still the glittering black gaze was there in front of her closed eyelids, burning its way into her brain.

He gave her a gentle little shake, but his voice was tight when he said, "—the problem was never that I didn't love you, surely you must've known."

His words were meant to be brutal, to shock her out of the brokenness he felt she was feeling, but they got no reaction and it puzzled him.

He cupped her small jaw in his hand, "Had I accepted my feelings sooner I could've prevented you from going through all of this. We could've been—" the words were torn out of him and snapped her eyes open to his. "It's my greatest regret. But let's face it Sakura, I was never deserving of you."

The world went very still as he said it, and for a moment everything was picked out in painful detail—the look on his face, the angle of his body, the coffee-stained counter and the bright light above their head.

"Are you speaking for Neji or yourself?" she asked weakly, forcing the painful tightness in her throat.

He gave her a long, steady look. His eyes held hers locked. There was a silence that stretched and lengthened.

"Well are you, Sasuke?" a voice asked from the archway. It was soft, calm, but with a terrible determination to wring an answer out of the now shell-shocked Uchiha.

"Mommy!" Jiro squealed, stretching his arm out for Sakura to come take him.

But all she saw was Tenten standing there. She didn't move, not a muscle. For what seemed an endless moment she stared at them, her face was white but her brown eyes were scorching amber.

Sasuke stared back, equally immobile, holding his breath as his heart thudded so hard Sakura could hear it.

Then Tenten straightened suddenly and it was as though a veil had been drawn down over her face, masking all emotion. "Taro didn't want to come. I even tried to bribe him with a pack of gummy bears," she laughed but there was no mirth in it.

Sakura's heart sank.

Jiro flashed his own small packet, "Mommy, Coco ice!"

"Did she get that for you?" she chirped with an overly dramatic gape before getting to her feet to retrieve her son. "I guess she's pretty nice isn't she? I hope you didn't give her too much trouble," she ruffled his hair and showered him with kisses.

"No!" he returned a couple of her pecks and turned to Tenten with a big smile, "Hank ew."

"Aww, you're welcome," she pinched his cheeks. "You're too cute."

"Look," Sakura said, holding on to Tenten's arm just as the girl was about to make a dash. She wanted to set the record straight before the brunette got any ideas.

Tenten forced a smile to her face, "I'll see you later, I have some chores to catch up on," came her lame excuse.

Chores? The most Tenten did was cook, everyone knew Sasuke was her bitch. Sakura had seen her knock him around enough times to know who wore the pants in their relationship.

Her cell phone rang just as she released Jiro on the floor. He crawled to the feet of Sasuke and cutely demanded to be picked up. "Ashkay!" he pouted.

"It's not what you think."

Tenten did not look amused or won over. Still that infuriating smile never left her face, though it was beginning to distort. It must've been hurtful to hear Sasuke openly express remorse over how his life turned out because he missed out on his chance with Sakura.

"Nothing is going on between us—could ever go on between us. Not when he's involved with you and especially not when I've still yet to get over Neji," she said carelessly—as if it was any consolation—as she answered the call. "Hello?"

"Don't lie Sakura," she knew that voice anywhere even above the static noises over the line.

Something was happening to her. Something deep down. In her guts. Something she didn't like.

Slime. Was that it? Was that what she didn't like about how her name slid off his tongue? Like slime.

No, she thought slowly. Definitely not slime. That she could handle—probably would've welcomed. This was worse. What the voice was doing to her hit somewhere completely different.

She could feel it happening. Feel the slow, heavy slug of her heart rate. Feel the blood start to pulse.

Sakura froze. Entirely opposite reactions flashed through her. One was an instinct to hang up the phone. The second was a bolt of hot electricity that shocked her to her core.

It was Neji.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry for the lack of NejiSaku in this chapter, the next one is already written (I was threatened xD) with loads of awkward and funny (at least I hope) NejiSaku scenes. As always reviews are very much appreciated :) However if you're going to leave a flame, save it for a day when the power's out and you're gonna need it to light a candle (-_-)**

**It is not my intention to offend anyone with the following rant. My muse suffered blunt force trauma from some things and I felt like explaining why this went un-updated for so long. Here goes...**

_To be honest I've developed somewhat of a phobia to this story. For a while I was too traumatized to trouble myself with updating it. I've had plenty of complaints (especially explosive PMs) about the level of Sakura-angst in this fic and it kind of put me off...come on guys, have you not read the manga?! Sakura-angst galore! I've simply employed it differently and used an AU setting. I'm not trying to glorify or romanticize cruelty, but I will not apologize for how I portrayed the characters or wrote my story. I will not change it to suit your ideals either. Tragedy isn't partial and believe it or not there are people far more emotionally constipated than Neji. I've never been a fan of the smooth sailing romance so if you're looking for a fairytale, feel free to browse the K+ filter, this shit isn't for you. I mean no disrespect what-so-ever._

_Another thing that killed my buzz was the number of flames that I had to delete regarding the NejiSaku pairing. Seriously, grow the fuck up. I choose my pairings based on personality dynamics/complexes, I don't have time for mindless shipping feuds. Some people don't fucking care how the manga ended—ie. __princesshyuuga01__! Congrats to the SS and NH shippers :) BUT this story was NejiSaku when I started it and that won't change nor will I EVER stop writing NejiSaku/SasuTen. Deal the fuck with it or click on someone else's profile. My stories, my choices! Stop hating on me for wanting to cater to pairing minorities. _

_Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot write? Don't like it, write your own. Can't appreciate angst? Stop reading my stuff. Don't like NejiSaku? Join the long line of people waiting for me to give a fuck._

_There! I've said it. I'm done taking shit._


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